OT: ALL teacher gifts??

[KEMdisney]

All these threads about gifts for teachers got me thinking...

My daughter has a teachers aide in her classroom. My children have never had an aide before, so Im not sure what to do in this case. Do I send in a gift for her too? If so, do I give her a smaller gift? Or the same gift? My daughter thinks of them both as her teachers, she does not realize that one is the "teacher" and one is the "aide". I guess Ill send two gifts in! Im glad I thought of this now before Christmas was over. What does everyone else do?

 

[lntsmom]

Flame away...I don't care...I know it's a comin'....

But, as a teacher, unless the aide is a personal para for your daughter, I might be a little miffed about this. I guess it would depend on my relationship with the para.

One year I had a para who was golden...if I had to step out of the room he could pick up the lesson and keep right on going. He was professional at all times. He was as dedicated to the kids learning as I was. In that case, I would have thought, "Hooray, the parents realize how lucky we are to have Mr. Page here to help us!"

Another year I had a para who stored dirty plates all over the place...ruined my supplies and books...and bragged to another para that if you do the job right, it's like a paid vacation. Oh, she also stole from me, ate in front of the children (Kindergarteners), and would disappear for long stretches of time during the day. I'll stop the list there. It would have galled me to see that parents considered her contribution to be on the same scale as mine.

I know it's a hard call for parents...my thought would be, if you give similar gifts to all the teachers (art, music, pe) then gift the aide, too. If you only recognize the classroom teacher, then I'd do just that. Maybe send a plate of goodies for the staff lunchroom with a card thanking everyone (lunch ladies, office staff, custodians, etc.) who help make your child's education successful.


BTW...as a disclaimer, I should add that I'm the teacher who always answers teacher gift posts with the same answer: Personal gifts make me feel uncomfortable. Due to the power teachers wield, gifts can be misconstrued. And, I really hate it when my choices are to break the heart of a child bringing a gift by downplaying it or break the heart of the child who doesn't have a gift to offer, but dearly wishes that he/she did. It happens...one year I had a child steal an ornament off the school tree because she wanted so badly to have a gift to give. My firm stance is: give gifts for the classroom (games, books, etc.) rather than gifts for the teacher.

 

[Magic Mom]

Flame away...I don't care...I know it's a comin'....

But, as a teacher, unless the aide is a personal para for your daughter, I might be a little miffed about this. I guess it would depend on my relationship with the para.

.

No flame
But why would it upset you that a student would get your aide a present too? I would think that would mean your aide is making a positive impact on your students. I don't understand why that would make you mad.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

My DD has a teacher, a teachers aide, and a gym teacher. I plan on getting all three of them a gift, all the same thing - or atleast on the same level. I know she really likes all of them (shes only 3), so I don't think she would understand why we only got one a gift because they are a "real" teacher, where the others aren't.
Anyway, the aide does more than the teacher - at least in my DDs class!

 

[RobinFabulous]

Always hard and really depends on the situation..... In Ballet we have a teacher and a helper, I did a little more for the teacher. In Jonah's Special Resources we have a teacher and a parapro, I did the same for both. They BOTH seem to work equally to help J out.

 

[mom2travel]

We buy "teacher appreciation" gifts for PE, Spanish, Art & Music teachers in the spring. Since the aide is in DD's class every day I do buy a gift for Christmas as well (the aides in our school are assistants to the teachers to help with all children). The size of the gift in comparison to the teacher's depends upon the relationship DD has w/ the aide. Last year in 2nd grade she was wonderful, very helpful, encouraging and always interested in DD's goings on, so a "bigger" than usual gift was given. This year, not so much - just not the same relationship, so smaller scale gift. But as a disclaimer, the gift for the actual teacher also varies year to year.
So I guess my suggestion is to give a gift or not depending upon how you perceive the relationship b/w your child and the aide. Would you child ask you to buy a gift (we've had a few where my kids are thinking of ideas before I do) or are you only doing it because you think you should? You can always send in baked goodies as a "thinking of you" thank you type token if you want to acknowledge the aide's assistance with the class, but not buy a full gift like for teacher.

 

[SmallWorld71]

As a teacher who has frequently had aides/ paras in her room I will tell you that most work very hard and are thrilled to be recognized although certainly gifts aren't required.
It sounds to me like your daughter has answered your question for you. If she is seeing them as equals, I would think it would be strange for her to only give a gift to the classroom teacher. My daughter had an aide in her preschool class last year that she absolutely adored who was very kind to her and I wanted to recognize that. I got both her and the teacher book store gift certificates although the teacher's was for a larger amount. I say go with what makes the sense for your daughter.

 

[cruizie]

This is a good question and I am going to go back and read all of the responses shortly. My dd is in 1st grade. She has a switch class - 1 teacher for Language Arts, another for Social Studies, Math, & Science. They also have 2 para's in her class but they are for the 3 hearing impaired children that have placed out of the standard deaf ed clas (at least that is my understanding). Additionally, she has a gym teacher, music teacher, art teacher & a technology teacher. Last year, finances were too tight to be able to buy every teacher a gift and she had fewer teachers!

This is what I had planned to do but it may change after reading. The same gift for her 2 main teachers - if there is a class gift, we will participate in this as well as something small (Target had these felt baskets & I picked up some inexpensive office supplies) for the teachers for dd to bring in (trying to teach dd that it is better to give than to receive), maybe a small GC to Starbucks or Smoothie King or something for the other teachers and probably nothing for the paras. I feel bad though saying nothing for the paras even though they have no interaction w/ my dd.

So not sure! Another thought I had was to order a fruit basket or some sort of food basket to be delivered to the teacher's lounge for all the teachers.

 

[3boymthr]

Sounds like your situation is similar to that at our school. Consider talking to your PTO about posting a "Frosty's Wish List" at school or a "Giving Tree". At our school each class has a teacher and if it's an inclusion class, an aide as well several specialists who come in for reading/math, etc. Plus the some of the teachers switch off for some subjects where they specialize such as social studies or science as well having additional teachers for Music, Art, Gym, Spanish, Health and Computer. Plus there are the various special needs therapists and the school nurses. Way too many teachers for each parent to buy presents for. Depending upon whether its the tree or frosty each teacher fills out 10 or so paper bulbs or snowballs with items they would like to have for the class such as stickers, rubber stamps, special magnets, a book or set of books or other extras like prize box items and puts their name on it. These are then attached to a construction paper snowman or tree which is taped to the wall in the school lobby. Students take one, two or three (or more) bulbs/snowballs off the wish list for their favorite teachers. They buy the item(s) then wrap and leave it like a secret santa type gift on the teacher's desk or at the principal's office to be put in the teacher's mailbox. Since the gifts are something the teacher wants/can use there's no guesswork in what to get and all the teacher's get to feel appreciated not just the homeroom teachers. Each student also pitches in a few dollars for a class gift for the homeroom teacher and aide. It works great.

 

[famofsix]

Flame away...I don't care...I know it's a comin'....

But, as a teacher, unless the aide is a personal para for your daughter, I might be a little miffed about this. I guess it would depend on my relationship with the para.

One year I had a para who was golden...if I had to step out of the room he could pick up the lesson and keep right on going. He was professional at all times. He was as dedicated to the kids learning as I was. In that case, I would have thought, "Hooray, the parents realize how lucky we are to have Mr. Page here to help us!"

Another year I had a para who stored dirty plates all over the place...ruined my supplies and books...and bragged to another para that if you do the job right, it's like a paid vacation. Oh, she also stole from me, ate in front of the children (Kindergarteners), and would disappear for long stretches of time during the day. I'll stop the list there. It would have galled me to see that parents considered her contribution to be on the same scale as mine.

I know it's a hard call for parents...my thought would be, if you give similar gifts to all the teachers (art, music, pe) then gift the aide, too. If you only recognize the classroom teacher, then I'd do just that. Maybe send a plate of goodies for the staff lunchroom with a card thanking everyone (lunch ladies, office staff, custodians, etc.) who help make your child's education successful.


BTW...as a disclaimer, I should add that I'm the teacher who always answers teacher gift posts with the same answer: Personal gifts make me feel uncomfortable. Due to the power teachers wield, gifts can be misconstrued. And, I really hate it when my choices are to break the heart of a child bringing a gift by downplaying it or break the heart of the child who doesn't have a gift to offer, but dearly wishes that he/she did. It happens...one year I had a child steal an ornament off the school tree because she wanted so badly to have a gift to give. My firm stance is: give gifts for the classroom (games, books, etc.) rather than gifts for the teacher.

Aside from giving an edible gift like a teacher's favorite candy or gift card to a coffee shop this is my favorite way to say thanks. The amount of money some teachers spend on the classroom can really add up so I like to help by buying books or learning games for the classroom. I include a personal card from my child and a note of thanks from us as the parent.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm an aide in a special ed preschool classroom. Not all parents give holiday gifts but, if they do, they always give to the teacher and both aides. Some parents will give a gift basket or edible gift and specify that we should share it. In that case, we usually split it up and take our favorite things home. Other parents will give us each a gift card or some other gift. We always appreciate whatever gifts our parents give!

 

[BeckyScott]

I give to both. However, the para is there (in part) for my kid.

The OP's daughter thinks the para is another teacher and doesn't realize she's there for specific kids (and that's the way it should be), so she might feel odd giving to just one teacher. So the OP would have to explain to her that the para is really only there for some of the students, which is a conversation I personally wouldn't want to have. Not yet. If the para is really trying to blend in, and most do, she's interacting with all the students and not just "her" student.

Every classroom DS has been in, the paras try to blend as much as possible, which means DS (and the other child in the room that she helps) aren't seen as being different. It's very intentionally done. DS knows that the para is there, but she's just part of the classroom, he doesn't understand really why she's there. Not getting the para a gift also, even if it's a different gift, most kids would want to know why, and if you explain it and they understand, they'll look at their classmates differently. There is a point, an age, where they'll figure it out, but if the child is young... we try so hard to get our children integrated into a regular classroom...

Sorry, I kinda have personal feelings about it.

 

[cmaee]

We only give gifts to the teacher and the teachers aid. We don't give gifts to the gym teacher, art teacher, music teacher, etc. Our kids spend the majority of the day with their classroom teacher and teachers aid, so that is who we buy gifts for. We always give them the same amount. We give them both gift cards/certificates to restaurants. I package them separately, so unless the teacher and teacher aid converse over it, then they don't know how much we give them. I think that just because you are a teacher does not mean you have a "more worthy" job than the teachers aid. You have a different job. The teacher choose to be a teacher and with it all of the hardwork it brings. They are doing their job. Equally, a teacher's aid is doing her job by aiding the teacher. Her level isn't any less important...just a different job. As long as they are both doing their jobs, I don't consider one "better" than the other one. I think is like comparing apples to oranges. You expect "x" out of one and "y" out of another one.

My DH is a principal who used to teach middle school. He says a good teacher's aid is worth their weight in gold. If your child sees the teacher's aid as important to them, then they should be recognized for doing their jobs well.

 

[lntsmom]

No flame
But why would it upset you that a student would get your aide a present too? I would think that would mean your aide is making a positive impact on your students. I don't understand why that would make you mad.

I guess my thought is that a teacher gift is basically a tip...and like anything else, if the person providing the service is doing a good job, they should be rewarded. If not, then not.

Our society has a general lack of respect for teachers. In what other profession is your experience considered of little value when you change jobs? I took a 15K paycut to move from MO to CO last year. In any other field, the pay corresponds to duties and experience, wherever those may have occured.

There's also the whole discussion about "summers off", which I point out to people are now 8 unpaid weeks. In most industries a person with 25 years experience would be getting almost that many PAID weeks off.

Then there's the whole maternity leave issue...and personal days. The idea that teachers should arrange their lives so babies and vacations fall neatly into those 8 weeks each summer is offensive to me. I had one friend whose principal actually marked her down on her review for having an April baby...his view was that she had June and July for that foolishness and he didn't appreciate her messing up his schedule that way.

I could go on and on. There are just so many ways that society tells us that this is "women's work".

And, while there may be some aides who consider it to be a career, they don't have the education or the responsibility that teachers do. Most aides have limited college education, and I've never had an aide whose training was in child development, education, etc. Aides don't plan lessons. They aren't responsible for assessments...for heaven's sake, they are even guaranteed potty and coffee breaks. Tell me the teacher who has that!

I'm not begrudging gifts for aides...I'm just saying that society should realize that teachers and aides do not do the same things. One is a profession...one is a job. Yes, I've always gifted my sons' classroom aides...but with a small personal token, not on the scale of what I'd purchased for the teacher.

 

[okeydokey]

We buy gifts for all the teachers, smaller gifts than the classroom teacher though. The list includes aides,gifted, PE, art, music, library, secretary, principals and asst principal, as well as dance teacher, 4-H leader, CCD teachers etc. We have in the past made a cinnamon pancake mix wrapped up in a pretty fabric and then given the classroom teacher gourmet fruit syrups (purchased) to go with it. The others just get the pancake mix.

This year however I don't know what to do because I've been told on these boards that the teachers just throw them away and it is a big project for my and the kids to do.

 

[playswithstars]

All these threads about gifts for teachers got me thinking...

My daughter has a teachers aide in her classroom. My children have never had an aide before, so Im not sure what to do in this case. Do I send in a gift for her too? If so, do I give her a smaller gift? Or the same gift? My daughter thinks of them both as her teachers, she does not realize that one is the "teacher" and one is the "aide". I guess Ill send two gifts in! Im glad I thought of this now before Christmas was over. What does everyone else do?

I'm in a first grade classroom right now doing some required teaching time for college classes before student teaching next semester. We have one aide that comes in on certain days at certain times just for one child. I would say unless your child is being helped by the aide I don't think you need to buy her a gift just for being in the same classroom.

 

[leebee]

I am an ed tech in eighth grade pre-algebra and social studies. My major responsibilities are to help the "identified" special education kids in these classes, but not as a one-on-one with anybody. If you think I am only working with the kids who I'm "supposed" to work with, think again! Yes, my first responsibility is to the sp.ed. kids, but I help any kid who asks for help. My scribed notes are photocopied for any student putting in the effort at taking their own notes but wanting back-up, not just for the sp.ed. kids. I help with questions and homework and teaching for all the kids. It works better this way, as the sp.ed. kids feel less conspicuous; 13 year olds know who is "different" and who doesn't fit in. For the record, I have NO guaranteed potty/coffee breaks, do NOT get paid for in-service days, teacher conference days, school vacations (including summer), holidays, or snow days (which up here can be quite a few), and don't get paid if I come in early or stay late to help a kid or get paperwork finished (and with no planning period, it happens all the time). Also for the record, I hold a BS in food science and an MS in protein biochemistry...no, not in education, but certainly not "less college" as mentioned earlier. I don't do lesson planning, but do help with grading, cover classes when teachers are at meetings (and not just the classes to which I am assigned), have lunch duty, and stay after school 4 nights a week for supported study hall. I get one personal day and six sick days during the school year. If you took my hourly "salary" and stretched it over 52 weeks, you'd see I earn about $5.25 an hour. I took this position because lab research jobs are few and far between up here, and after suffering a second layoff due to lack of funding, came to realize that I needed to look wider for a different type of profession.

I don't really care if I get gifts from the kids in the classes with which I am involved or not, and would actually be a tad uncomfortable accepting presents from the students. For Halloween, I gave all the kids in my classes Halloween-themed pencils, and will do something similar at Christmas (snowmen, penguins, etc- not just christmas themed pencils), because I like these kids and the majority of them seem to like me too. I take my responsibilities seriously, and really don't feel kindly towards anyone who insinuates that because I'm "just" an aide, I'm not dedicated to my students and to what I do, and that I only consider this a job and not a profession.

 

[playswithstars]

I am an ed tech in eighth grade pre-algebra and social studies. My major responsibilities are to help the "identified" special education kids in these classes, but not as a one-on-one with anybody. If you think I am only working with the kids who I'm "supposed" to work with, think again! Yes, my first responsibility is to the sp.ed. kids, but I help any kid who asks for help. My scribed notes are photocopied for any student putting in the effort at taking their own notes but wanting back-up, not just for the sp.ed. kids. I help with questions and homework and teaching for all the kids. It works better this way, as the sp.ed. kids feel less conspicuous; 13 year olds know who is "different" and who doesn't fit in. For the record, I have NO guaranteed potty/coffee breaks, do NOT get paid for in-service days, teacher conference days, school vacations (including summer), holidays, or snow days (which up here can be quite a few), and don't get paid if I come in early or stay late to help a kid or get paperwork finished (and with no planning period, it happens all the time). Also for the record, I hold a BS in food science and an MS in protein biochemistry...no, not in education, but certainly not "less college" as mentioned earlier. I don't do lesson planning, but do help with grading, cover classes when teachers are at meetings (and not just the classes to which I am assigned), have lunch duty, and stay after school 4 nights a week for supported study hall. I get one personal day and six sick days during the school year. If you took my hourly "salary" and stretched it over 52 weeks, you'd see I earn about $5.25 an hour. I took this position because lab research jobs are few and far between up here, and after suffering a second layoff due to lack of funding, came to realize that I needed to look wider for a different type of profession.

I don't really care if I get gifts from the kids in the classes with which I am involved or not, and would actually be a tad uncomfortable accepting presents from the students. For Halloween, I gave all the kids in my classes Halloween-themed pencils, and will do something similar at Christmas (snowmen, penguins, etc- not just christmas themed pencils), because I like these kids and the majority of them seem to like me too. I take my responsibilities seriously, and really don't feel kindly towards anyone who insinuates that because I'm "just" an aide, I'm not dedicated to my students and to what I do, and that I only consider this a job and not a profession.

The aides at the school I'm at do only work with specific children. As I said they sometimes come into the classroom and sit in the back but the majority of times the children get pulled out and go to their room. The aides don't stay after school or any later than they are required. The teachers are staying way longer after school in that aspect. So just because somebody said their opinion doesn't mean you have to defend every single aide. Because it's obviously not the same at every school. You may have just as much schooling in another field but there is so much that teachers learned in the college that I'm sure you weren't taught as an aide. Many aides do not have the schooling that teachers or education background that teachers have. Most aides are doing it just as job in between things.

As an almost certified teachers teachers pay a lot of money and go through a lot just to get to that point. I've taken four Praxis tests which each cost about 150-200 dollars each. If you don't get the required score you take it again, and again. There are people that paid for school and never get to be a teacher because they couldn't pass those tests. You have to keep a certain GPA to even get your certificate after all those years of schooling. Every year of college I've paid close to 70 dollars to keep my clearances up to date. I will have to continue doing so until I get hired.

I understand that you are saying as an aide you do a lot. But teachers have to do a lot more and have even more responsibility. They are the ones who are in trouble if their class doesn't do well on tests for NCLB.

I know most of the teachers at this school refuse outside aides or wraparounds because in their experience they do nothing.

 

[carj]

The aides at the school I'm at do only work with specific children. As I said they sometimes come into the classroom and sit in the back but the majority of times the children get pulled out and go to their room. The aides don't stay after school or any later than they are required. The teachers are staying way longer after school in that aspect. So just because somebody said their opinion doesn't mean you have to defend every single aide. Because it's obviously not the same at every school. You may have just as much schooling in another field but there is so much that teachers learned in the college that I'm sure you weren't taught as an aide. Many aides do not have the schooling that teachers or education background that teachers have. Most aides are doing it just as job in between things.

As an almost certified teachers teachers pay a lot of money and go through a lot just to get to that point. I've taken four Praxis tests which each cost about 150-200 dollars each. If you don't get the required score you take it again, and again. There are people that paid for school and never get to be a teacher because they couldn't pass those tests. You have to keep a certain GPA to even get your certificate after all those years of schooling. Every year of college I've paid close to 70 dollars to keep my clearances up to date. I will have to continue doing so until I get hired.

I understand that you are saying as an aide you do a lot. But teachers have to do a lot more and have even more responsibility. They are the ones who are in trouble if their class doesn't do well on tests for NCLB.

I know most of the teachers at this school refuse outside aides or wraparounds because in their experience they do nothing.

Wow! I am sorry that you have had such bad experiences with aides, especially since you aren't even teaching yet! With your current attitude towards paraprofessionals, I certainly can't see how you are going to do well working with an aide in your classroom. (Which is almost certainly going to happen because of inclusion of children with special needs.)

I have been a teacher for 11 years and aides like teachers come in all different varieties, good and not so good. The vast majority that I have worked with are hard-working, dedicated individuals who are working in the schools because they love it.

Oh and the reason that the aides don't stay after school, or any later than they are required is because they aren't allowed to! (At least in Texas.) Aides are not contract employees and are required to fill out timesheets. They are not allowed to go over 40 hours per week. Since the aides in my district make about 1/3 of what I make, I think that is GREAT that they are now being forced to go home on time!

I find it difficult to believe that someone who is just entering the profession has such an almost angry attitude regarding paraprofessionals. Maybe that is just the way I am reading your post.

 

[playswithstars]

Wow! I am sorry that you have had such bad experiences with aides, especially since you aren't even teaching yet! With your current attitude towards paraprofessionals, I certainly can't see how you are going to do well working with an aide in your classroom. (Which is almost certainly going to happen because of inclusion of children with special needs.)

I have been a teacher for 11 years and aides like teachers come in all different varieties, good and not so good. The vast majority that I have worked with are hard-working, dedicated individuals who are working in the schools because they love it.

Oh and the reason that the aides don't stay after school, or any later than they are required is because they aren't allowed to! (At least in Texas.) Aides are not contract employees and are required to fill out timesheets. They are not allowed to go over 40 hours per week. Since the aides in my district make about 1/3 of what I make, I think that is GREAT that they are now being forced to go home on time!

I find it difficult to believe that someone who is just entering the profession has such an almost angry attitude regarding paraprofessionals. Maybe that is just the way I am reading your post.

I never said I didn't like aides or were angry about them. My minor is actually in Special Education so I'm pretty sure that I can deal with aides and inclusion. I wouldn't assume because of one post that you know exactly how my teaching career will go.

I was just saying in my opinion in response to the post it depends on the school. My school the aides only work with specific children which 90 % of the time is outside of the classroom. So no If I had a child I wouldn't buy them a gift unless my child was being worked with by them. All of the aides are quite nice at my school and I like them. I was just trying to get across that even though some aides seem to do a lot it shouldn't be forgotten how much more teachers have to do to get to their position and their responsibilities. Unless you know the aide has some kind of teaching certification or sped. certification. But in that case they are most likely not staying in that position forever. As somebody else even said most people do teaching as a career and being an aide is more of a job not a career for many people. My teacher I'm with right now actually started out as an aide to get into the school district so she would have more luck getting a teacher position.

Yes, we had an outside aide come into the classroom that just sat back in the classroom the whole time he was there which was maybe an hour. My co-op teacher had no clue what exactly he was doing there since he clearly wasn't doing anything. She's had wrap arounds that read, text, sleep in the class. So she just doesn't really like to use wrap-arounds anymore.