OT - Adoption Shower

[blana]

For all those who have BTDT....

Our church is having an adoption shower for a family who just brought home their 3 year old DS from Guatemala. This is not a family I know (the grandmother is a church member), so I can't just ask what they need, which is annoying.... So, anyone who's been there, what did you find the most helpful? I was thinking of maybe getting a toy for him & then something for the parents. But, I'm assuming since they have him home that they have a lot of their needs. So, does anyone remember anything, other than clothes, that they were just SO happy to get?

 

[tchrrx]

We had two adoption showers for DD. I told people that I didn't think we needed them, but looking back, I'm so glad that we did. I had no idea how much stuff a kid could use! How about some bath time toys and a kid themed beach towel. Maybe even another set of sheets for the bed. We also enjoyed having some clothes that were a size bigger so that we didn't have to start completely from scratch when she hit growth spurts. Hope this helps!

Or...if you don't like any of those ideas...how about tickets to the local children's museum or zoo?

 

[livndisney]

Ok, been there done that! LOL

When I came home with my DD4 I "thought" I had everything I needed There were a lot of little things I needed. (Things I THOUGHT should fit didn't ) A bunch of my friends bought me gift certs to different places( Target, Walmart, Applebees). They were AWESOME! In those rare moments when I was able to get out of the house, I could run to the store pick up what I needed and maybe pick up carry out food so I did not have to cook and could spend the extra time bonding with my dd and helping her get used to her new home.

 

[MiniGirl]

I would suggest books. I don't know if their son was cared for by English-speaking foster parents or not, but books will help his language skills which are probably lacking and it will also help with bonding. Curling up in bed together to read is a wonderful way to bond with a child. I would also suggest a stuffed animal to go with the books. In other words, a Clifford toy if you get Clifford books. Outside of that.... gift certificates are always appreciated.

 

[adoptionmomma4]

I did not have an adoption shower for either of my adoptions. My children started out as foster children, so that is why Either way there were so many things I needed that I didn’t have. I had no idea how much stuff kids need (or we want them to have) It is so funny looking back I had no idea what I was doing! I did not know what my kids needed (aside from the basics of course) until the moment we needed it.

I think gift cards are a great idea. That way as a need arises they will have the card to go get it. I know they are not fun to give so maybe a gift card and a book like someone else mentioned? Maybe extra gloves and hats for the up coming cold months or a preschool games? Whatever you get them I am sure they will be grateful for . It is very nice of your church family to have the shower

 

[crisi]

I think adoption showers are an important part of claiming.

The thing I'd be careful of is getting anything "too babyish" - while adoptive parents come to terms with it, early on regretting that time you missed (and being reminded you never had a baby) can be tough - particularly if they are adopting a first child after infertility.

Gift certificates to Target - who can't use those! Disney movies. Kids music. Art supplies. Music and movies don't take up much space. Art supplies are consumable - you won't believe how much Playdoh, markers, paper, etc. a kid can go through between three and five.

 

[lastminutemom]

Books-- You can never have enough of those...

How about The Little Engine that Could, Dr. Seuss books, Anything by Eric Carle (The Hungry Caterpiller, etc), Thomas the Train books, I really like Richard Scaary books

Hope this helps.

 

[swimgalsmom]

My church gave me an adoption shower just before I came home with my DD from China. It gave us such a reassurance that she was going to be accepted as part of our family. My dd was only 13 month old so I really appreciated diapers! Since a 3 year old doesn't need diapers, I would also suggest clothes in a larger size (maybe a 5). I received clothes in sizes from 12 month to 3T. It was so nice to have clothes ready for her as she grew. I also like the suggestions of gift cards or books.

 

[KristinU]

BTDT, and to be honest I think Crisi nailed it...it wasn't the "stuff" (although it was helpful and fun!) but it was the fact that we were thrown a shower that was really heartwarming and helpful to me. It was an important part of claiming and being cemented as a family in the eyes and hearts of friends and family.

On the suggestion side: gift cards are an awesome idea, as are art supplies and fun, classic toys. I was especially appreciative of toys that BTDT parents found tried and true. DS was 6 months old when he came home, but our shower was before his homecoming - so we didn't know how much longer we'd wait for him, so clothes were tough and I had spent a lot of our wait furninshing his room and hunting bargains on other big stuff...so there wasn't much traditional baby shower stuff left for people to buy anyway. Toys and books were great for us, and like I said - I was appreciative of friends who bought things that their kids had proven to be winners...since I was clueless!

 

[revrob]

I TOTALLY agree that it isn't about the stuff, it's about the acceptance of the child. When we brought our DD home from China last December, she was 3 1/2. We were not given a shower. Frankly, I was hurt. I felt like people just didn't think it was important, or that because she wasn't biologically mine that it wasn't important. SO, my advice is, even if you feel like you're doing very little, go to the shower and let the parents know that you're thrilled for them.

As far as gifts - I absolutely love the idea of gift cards for Target and/or restaurants. A small toy for the child would be a great idea. If they haven't registered, it is difficult to know what they have. Even though the child is 3, it's not safe to assume that he is potty trained as many adoptive children regress after adoption and will need to be in diapers/pull ups again. Another suggestion is maybe a care basket of childrens OTC meds (tylenol, motrin, cough lollipops, etc). Those things seem to add up quickly, and all parents need them.

Have fun at the shower!

 

[momtwo4]

Not knowing what they have already for there little one, I would say I would buy a gift certificate from Target or Toy r Us and a couple books and wrap them in a gift bag. There are so many things we thought we had, but didn't! What a wonderful shower to attend

 

[MousekaMaddi]

my 2cents
get a bib embroidered babys name (if bib age) or something embroiderable so it specific to that child,
or get something with the childs name on it so they know u looked for it ESPECIALLY for them! Parents will LOVE that!
I suggest a portrait session for their family

 

[Mom2JPL]

Been there, done that! I would suggest gift cards...they're sooo appreciated - I would say from either WalMart or Target...or even a local grocery store!

 

[disykat]

Since you are showering someone you don't know, I would guess there is a financial need and would probably give gift cards or money.

If these people attend your church and it's more of a "welcome to the family" thing, I'd probably give books, toys, or clothes in a larger size than the child is currently.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I agree with books! Especially if there is a new language to learn.

And I also love another poster's idea of a gift certificate for a family portrait!

 

[StephMK]

How about a Build a Bear certificate? It's something the family can do together & will give him something to cuddle that he picked out. Plus since they get to put a heart and wishes inside, they can all put one in as a symbol of their new family.

 

[Gillian]

How about a Build a Bear certificate? It's something the family can do together & will give him something to cuddle that he picked out. Plus since they get to put a heart and wishes inside, they can all put one in as a symbol of their new family.

I love this idea! Build a Bear is wonderful.

 

[blana]

Thanks for all the advice! I ran by Target this afternoon & used a good bit of it. (Today was my only chance to go get anythign this week, with Halloween & work commitments ) I got art supplies & Go, Dog, Go & a few other odds & ends. You made me feel a lot better about heading in thwat direction for this.

 

[Aliceacc]

Some things that are particularly adoption themed:

The book "A Mother for Chocko" by Keiko Kazka. Chocko searches the world for a mom who looks just like him. He eventually finds that family isn't about looking alike, it's about loving.

The Tigger Movie on video or DVD. Tigger desperately tries to find his "family tree" full of tiggers just like him. He too eventually learns that family isn't about looking alike, it's about loving.

As a 3 year old, they'll probably want to expose him to lots of English, so anything that has words counts as educational.

 

[bebelle]

We had over 100 people at our son's adoption shower. Our son was 3 at the time and received a ton of presents. But his memories seem to be more about the event than the gifts. I was very touched by a gift I received at the shower. It was a small charm of a little boy. I cherish it as a reminder of our very special day.