OT:4+ year difference between siblings

[javaj]

I have a 3 yo dd and have been trying for #2. It's 14 months and 2 miscarriages later, and there is no baby in sight. I am now at the point where my kids will be 4 years apart, and I was wondering how many Dis parents have kids 4+ years apart. I need some encouragement. Just feeling a bit down today.

DS#1 and DS#2 are 4 years apart (5yo and 1yo). They get along very well. Good luck!

 

[ashbee]

My brother and I are 5 years apart me being older. Husband and his sister are 9 years apart him being younger. But, a family friend has 2 that are a year apart and the third being 15 years younger he is 4 now.

 

[bzzymom]

My kids are 6 1/2 yrs apart. It is a nice age gap. DS was so helpful after DD is born. She is 3 now she looks up to her brother so much. They are playing really well together.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I'm hoping to have my kids at least 4 years apart. I really don't believe in spacing kids any closer than 4 years, personally. 5 years age difference is called "ideal spacing" for a reason IMHO. I want each of my kids to have those 4-5 years of my undivided attention. My DD will hopefully be in school before we bring a second child on the scene. The baby will be like an only during the school day, which is exactly how I want it. There is nothing wrong with having a 4+ year age difference between kids

 

[mrsltg]

My girls are 4.5 years apart. This was not planned, my second was stillborn when the first was 3.5. I love the age difference of the girls. My older dd is able to partipate in the raising of her sister while still being a kid herself. I am due in three months with another girl and this time it will be much different. My second dd will only be 2.5 when her newest sister arrives. It should be interesting...

 

[ucancallmeflower]

My DD is 13 and my MS is 8 and although they have their differences it was nice because I had alone time with each as a toddler and a baby. It all works the way it should..................... Don't get too down. We're all pulling for ya!

 

[andreadoiron]

I have a 3 yo dd and have been trying for #2. It's 14 months and 2 miscarriages later, and there is no baby in sight. I am now at the point where my kids will be 4 years apart, and I was wondering how many Dis parents have kids 4+ years apart. I need some encouragement. Just feeling a bit down today.

I've got 3: 19, 10 and 3 and the pros are that each child had "mommy" time during the day to themselves, certainly easier to take care of an infant when you have an older child that goes to school and can help you, you get to enjoy the different phases of development all over again. don't feel like 4+ is too far apart, they will all love each other and get along/fight as much as if they were 2 years apart!

 

[pixiewings71]

My girls are the following ages~
19
11
7
Yes, you read those first 2 correctly. LOL They are very spread out but they are as close as I could wish for. My younger girls adore their older sister and she adores them. I love having them this far apart, but I know it's not for everyone.

(((HUGS))) on your miscarriages, don't give up hope for conception, it may happen when you least expect it.

 

[Tosie]

Mine are 4.5 years apart - planned that way - and I love it!!!!

When dd was born, ds was in preschool 3 half days per week so I got some alone time with her. When he went to 1st grade, I had even more alone time with her. They are now 11 and almost 7 and get along MOST of the time (LOL) and they are great friends.

 

[luvmy2sams]

DD and DS are 4.5 years apart---planned that way.

DS4 was born in July, and big sister started half-day Pre-K three weeks later. It was wonderful to have one-on-one time with DS while DD was at school (still is!).

DD8 was old enough to understand when I had to stop and feed, change, etc. her brother, and she was--and still is--a wonderfully helpful big sister.

They play together a lot, and DS things his sister hung the moon.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[isla bonita]

I have 3 6, 11 17 and there was no sibling rivalry. We have very few squables it is a little peice of heaven.

There is no perfect but for us it is great.

 

[bookworm2]

I was so interested to read this thread, as my DD will be a week shy of 4 when the new baby comes (as long as things go as planned - I'm 10 weeks now - is there a fingers crossed emoticon??).

Before now, I just didn't feel ready for another baby. My sister and I are 21 months apart and are very close, but I just couldn't handle having my kids that close together!

I've talked to lots of people about it and I've come to the conclusion that has been expressed here - everything will work out, regardless of the age difference. It is what it is, you know? And we won't know it any other way!

I did realize yesterday that we'll only have one year of both kids being in full-time daycare, and that will really help out financially!

Best of luck to you, and just remember that things will all work out in the end.

 

[disneywith4boys]

After my first son was born it took us 4 years before we were so pleasantly suprised with DS #2. Imagine our next surpise when identical twins followed 19 months later. Now looking back on the 4 years between the first 2, I am now so glad I had so much time to enjoy my first. We did so many things together that I wasn't able to do when the next 3 came so close together. Of, course, at the time, I was so worried no other children will follow the first, it was hard to enjoy the things we were doing all the time. Best of luck, I hope you enjoy all the time you have alone with your first and many wishes of pixiedust that the next will come along soon.

 

[MinnieGi]

My kids are exactly four years apart and a day! DD is 7 and DS is 3. They actually had the same due date. I also had two miscarriages between them and another one before I had DD. When I found out DS's due date was the same as DD's had been, I just knew that pregnancy would stay!!!

Although we had originally wanted closer spacing of the kids the four years worked out quite well. DD was out of diapers and in preschool when DS came along. She WANTED a younger sibling by that point and treated DS so very well. Now fast forward three years and the two of them have normal sibling fights but also a great deal of love and devotion toward each other.

I like that when DD was young I had lots one on one time with her and when DS came along DD was already attending preschool and then full day K etc... so that I still have lots of time for DS.

Best wishes to you.

 

[**eeyore**]

I'm hoping to have my kids at least 4 years apart. I really don't believe in spacing kids any closer than 4 years, personally. 5 years age difference is called "ideal spacing" for a reason IMHO. I want each of my kids to have those 4-5 years of my undivided attention. My DD will hopefully be in school before we bring a second child on the scene. The baby will be like an only during the school day, which is exactly how I want it. There is nothing wrong with having a 4+ year age difference between kids

I totally agree with this opinion. My mom kept a 5-year spacing between her first 3 children - she loved it and there is no sibling rivalry between us (unlike most of my friends who are much closer in age with their siblings).

I had it all planned out to do the 5-year spacing also, but then we were "blessed" with twins! So much for that plan! . We're not sure if we are going to have more children, but if we do, we are definitely waiting until the twins are 5 - what if we end up with another set?!?!

 

[laughinplace199]

First of all, to you. I hope that things turn around for you soon!

I had 3 miscarriages, then I had DD. Then another miscarriage, then I got pregnant with DS. He and DD are exactly 2 yrs (& 13 days) apart. We decided that we were done at that point.

Fast forward to when DS is 4 and I realize that I'm not getting any younger. We decide to go for one more baby, but I was terrified due to my history. Well, we lucked out and had another DS 10 months ago!

So, our kids are now 8, 6, and 10 mos. I love the age gap between the older ones and the baby! They adore him and they're very helpful too.

Good luck!

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I have 4 kids that are all 7 years apart. except for the last 2 they are twins!

21,13,7,and 7

 

[pednurse]

My kids are 4 years, 1 month apart (now aged 9 & 5). For us it has been a great spacing between children. They (usually!) get along well and my DS has from the start been very caring and protective of my DD. And DD has always looked up to DS and fully trusts him to help her out when she needs it. They're very sweet together (most of the time! lol).

 

[Microcell]

Mine are four years apart, and I like it more than I thought I might. It really works well because my DS is 5 and shy and DD is 9 and extroverted all the way. He really leans on her to walk him to Kindergarten (which she takes pride in as well) and it seems to help him to have that hug from her before she goes to her class. Made me cry when I saw them hugging!

They fight as much as any siblings, but she really seems to be an anchor for him as they brave elementary school together. They seem to think about each other alot, and I push that, because my oldest sister and I were not that close at 5 years apart (and she was a selfish brat), she went to college when I went to Jr.High. DS has his adventures during the afternoon with me and is always soooo eager to tell her about it. Today I am gonna get in trouble because he will show her the toy from McDonalds. She is always so attentive even though I am sure she could care less!

The only thing that ever gets me down is that they won't ever be in the same school again once he is in 3rd grade and she in 7th. I bet that is even a good thing because they wont be what I was as a kid with three other siblings- "One of the Goldberg girls". They can have thier own mark on things.

Calm down, relax and know that however many years apart your kids are, it will be right for you.

 

[coolbeans]

Mine are 10 years apart..I was so freaked out after having DD that it took that long for DH to convince me to go for it...

(freaked out due to emergency c-section and tough recovery)