Oprah show on Friday about getting out of debt.

[CarolA]

The fact that Lisa Bradley went out and bought a car without asking her husband is insane (and don't even mention that she forged his name to do so).

You know reading this reminded me of a friend whose husband went out one day and bought some fancy sports car without telling her. That marriage didn't last. You can hide a lot of things related to debt, but MOST spouses do notice cars in the driveway,

I have a great boyfriend, but I can gurantee that if we were married he would have no idea what I bought on a day to day basis. He is from the clueless team. I could wear a new outfit every day or the same one for a month and he'd probably miss it. But even he would notice a different car. (And by the way, he does notice the hair... he agrees that spending money on it is a good investment!)

 

[LoriMistress]

It made me mad to hear that one family talk about how they almost filed bankruptcy--don't make the rest of us pay for your extravagance and stupidity! I don't understand people who just throw up their hands and say "I'm just no good with money". Grow up already and take some responsbility for your actions and for your life!

Actually, the bankruptcy laws have changed. WE don't pay for their debt; the debter does. They have to pay all of their debt back if they filed bankruptcy. Thanks to Bush and the new bankruptcy bill that passed some-what recently.

 

[mytwotinks]

I completely agree with you. I can't believe this woman owes $79,000 in student loans, and that was just the UNDERGRADUATE!!! Didn't even include Grad School!!!

Not that it changes how rediculous it is, but I do think that she said that included grad school. Is that normal? That seems awfully high! Did they say if she worked?

 

[disneysteve]

I can't believe this woman owes $79,000 in student loans, and that was just the UNDERGRADUATE!!! Didn't even include Grad School!!!

Actually, when she was showing the paperwork to her husband, she said that was both undergrad and grad school.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I know exactly how much DW and I spent on hair care in the past year: $15. DW cuts her own with a pair of scissors. I cut my own with a Conair trimmer that I bought last March for $15 at the Conair outlet store.

PLEASE ALLOW YOUR DW tro spend at least 200.00 a year on her hair, even if she says she does not to.

 

[EthansMom]

I couldn't believe some of the spending of the the first family.

An average of $134 a week on hair -- that's more than I spend per year on haircuts. Around $100 a day on eating out! Five cars for two adults! That woman's husband needs to confiscate the credit cards and stick her on a cash budget, with him paying the bills.

Now, I know a lot of people out there are living beyond their means. But how could the people on the show be so clueless as to not realize that their finances would be dramatically better if they didn't spend $3000 a month on eating out or if they paid your bills BEFORE they bought new clothes for their teens? I really think that a lot of the problem of the folks on the show has got to be psychological.

 

[imsayin]

noticed on glaring similarity between all 3 families. One partner handled all the money and the other partner apparently knew absolutely nothing about what was going on. If that's the case in your house, change it right now and change it forever.

disneysteve I almost always agree with your posts, but I handle all the finances in our household and it works out fine for us. I always joke with DH that he doesn't know about my slush fund. I think one person can be in charge of the money if there is trust & communication, and it helps to be on the same page in terms of spending & savings. As you stated, no big purchases are made without consultation. DH may be clueless about the finances, but I think he would question a new car or even a new TV that showed up unannounced. Also, you can't be dishonest about the finances. My success is his, and my failure is his.

 

[disneysteve]

Not that it changes how rediculous it is, but I do think that she said that included grad school. Is that normal? That seems awfully high! Did they say if she worked?

I graduated grad school with a total of $102,000 in loans and that was in 1990.

She does work as a case manager. Although she must not do very much work since she spend 8,000 minutes talking on her cell phone in one month!!

 

[dvcgirl]

I am AMAZED!!!



Now a few facts.... I just figured it out. I spend around $2,000 a year on my hair. GASP CALL THE POLICE!! LOL! I perfer to spend this on my hair so that I am happy with it. I have had it done cheaper and it looked it. I was not amoung those of you blessed with good hair.

Well, what is your point here? Personally, I don't spend nearly that much on hair....I could if I wanted to I suppose, but it's not my thing. My one sister spends about what you spend...about $250 for a professional cut and coloring every six weeks. It's a bit of a splurge, but one she can afford ....so it's not an issue for her (or you presumably). Nobody here is talking about not spending money. If you have it, by all means....spend it on whatever you wish. I think we're talking about living beyond ones means. And spending 30K on take-out and 7K on hair when your combined income is 102K....with a total of 170K (not including the mortgage)....is amazing.

Many people can watch and just enjoy the Oprah's "favorite things" show...but I think that sort of thing is so pervasive in our society. And I think it's dangerous. Look at the mess we're in right now in this country with respect to consumer debt. Like one of the experts said today...we live in a society where many want to live the good life, like say...celebrities live. They drive the best of cars, wear the best clothes, have the latest gadgets and vacation at 5 star resorts. And lots of people want that life....but they don't have the seven figure salaries to match.

 

[disneysteve]

disneysteve I almost always agree with your posts, but I handle all the finances in our household and it works out fine for us. I always joke with DH that he doesn't know about my slush fund. I think one person can be in charge of the money if there is trust & communication

I agree. The key word is COMMUNICATION. That's what was lacking in these families.I think it is easiest for one person to handle the finances. But the other person needs to have some clue what is going on. I handle all the finances in our household. DW honestly isn't interested as she trusts me implicitly, but I still run the numbers past her now and then.

 

[disneysteve]

PLEASE ALLOW YOUR DW tro spend at least 200.00 a year on her hair, even if she says she does not to.

She can spend as much as she'd like (ok, as long as it is less than $7,000 ). She prefers doing it herself. I don't make her cut her own.

 

[LoriMistress]

Not that it changes how rediculous it is, but I do think that she said that included grad school. Is that normal? That seems awfully high! Did they say if she worked?

They never mentioned her income. She probably doesn't work. I recorded the show, so I'll have to watch it again.

 

[janette]

I just don't believe the people shown on the show were typical. Sure there are poeple out there like that but there are many more with managible debt and even savings that aren't a step away from bankrupcy but not in the best financial shape. I think that is the more typical and sure we could all benefit from doing things different.

I have a 15yr mortgage at a very low rate. I have absolutely no interest or feel like I should worry about paying that debt down. The money I'd save I'd rather spend.

I also have some CC debt, it is also at very low rates and I know that I could pay them off but I like having things now. I look at all spending that I do as paying that interest because I really am making the choice to pay interest instead of cutting spending to pay off the cards.

I think it would be more interesting and beneficial to show a more typical household not one where we can brush them off and say we are doing fine since we aren't in that bad of shape.

 

[disneysteve]

They never mentioned her income. She probably doesn't work. I recorded the show, so I'll have to watch it again.

They did mention her income but I don't recall what it was. I've got it on tape too. I'll have to check.

 

[dvcgirl]

I agree. The key word is COMMUNICATION. That's what was lacking in these families.I think it is easiest for one person to handle the finances. But the other person needs to have some clue what is going on. I handle all the finances in our household. DW honestly isn't interested as she trusts me implicitly, but I still run the numbers past her now and then.

My DH and I watched it together as well and we both said right away...."where is the communication here!". The first family's DH seemed like he had just given up. And still, I don't think that Chatsky's plan was severe enough to get them out of trouble. But I understand the point that Lisa made that a severe plan would insure failure to them. Still though, I sort of got the impression from DW #1 that she just didn't get it. The teachers....I think that they'll make it. They both seemed upset enough to want to change. #3...not sure, because of those older kids. I can't see that Mom making the daughter make the car payment. I have an aunt who is *exactly* like Mom #3, still supporting her 22 year old son 100% when she definitely doesn't have the money to do that.

And I totally agree with Steve. There are *loads* of people out there just like the people we saw today. Again, family #1 was an extreme case, but there are lots just like the other two families. I have a couple just like them in my own extended family.

 

[TDC Nala]

Maybe what Oprah needs is a crawl to run under her Favorite Things segment that says DON'T BUY THIS AT HOME...DON'T BUY THIS AT HOME...

 

[CarolA]

Well, what is your point here? Personally, I don't spend nearly that much on hair....I could if I wanted to I suppose, but it's not my thing. My one sister spends about what you spend...about $250 for a professional cut and coloring every six weeks. It's a bit of a splurge, but one she can afford ....so it's not an issue for her (or you presumably). Nobody here is talking about not spending money. If you have it, by all means....spend it on whatever you wish. I think we're talking about living beyond ones means. And spending 30K on take-out and 7K on hair when your combined income is 102K....with a total of 170K (not including the mortgage)....is amazing.

Many people can watch and just enjoy the Oprah's "favorite things" show...but I think that sort of thing is so pervasive in our society. And I think it's dangerous. Look at the mess we're in right now in this country with respect to consumer debt. Like one of the experts said today...we live in a society where many want to live the good life, like say...celebrities live. They drive the best of cars, wear the best clothes, have the latest gadgets and vacation at 5 star resorts. And lots of people want that life....but they don't have the seven figure salaries to match.

My attempt was to get posters to think before they condem....

I also noticed a trend to "blame" Oprah. Oprah spends money so it's wrong for her to talk about debt was the line I was reading. As I said blaming Oprah for consumer debt is "passing the buck" Oprah didn't get anyone into debt and the first step for any recovery program is accepting responsiblity.

 

[disneysteve]

the first step for any recovery program is accepting responsiblity.

Absolutely! People blame everyone and everything. They blame their jobs, their kids, the government, taxes, interest rates, etc. That's all far easier than blaming who is really responsible - themselves.

 

[imsayin]

also noticed a trend to "blame" Oprah. Oprah spends money so it's wrong for her to talk about debt was the line I was reading. As I said blaming Oprah for consumer debt is "passing the buck" Oprah didn't get anyone into debt and the first step for any recovery program is accepting responsiblity

I didn't see where anyone blamed Oprah.

 

[CarolA]

I didn't see where anyone blamed Oprah.

I don't think they "out and out" blamed her. But there were several posts along the lines of "how dare she talk about debt when she promotes spending". It's like we had to follow her spending advice? We don't have to follow her debt advice either.

Why shouldn't she talk about both sides of the equation? It's a talk show after all.