Opinions please on eloping!

[minkydog]

We just were not welcome to attend. Their reason? They have an "exclusive love" (her words) and simply wanted no one else there.

Doncha just love brides!

 

[AustinTink]

My parents eloped, had 7 kids, and were married 42 years until the day Dad died. They had zero regrets.

My husband wanted to elope and get married on an island with just the two of us. I thought I would be getting off on the wrong foot with his mom had I agreed. He's an only child and she is incredibly overbearing. Hence, him wanting to elope to not deal with her. I'll always regret not granting him his wish.

 

[Sparx]

why don't you elope, and then come home and have a small reception for close friends and family? my mother did this when she got married in disney world.

 

[clarabelle]

I didn't like my wedding. Way too much stress and money we didn't really have.

If I had it to do over again I would have a very small wedding -maybe a destination wedding with just immediate family.

It is a lot of money, hopes, dreams to sock into one day. Like pp said. I love my marriage (17 years) but my wedding was disappointing and stressful.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

We are thinking of eloping. We are also considering doing it somewhere in New England where we are from, so any romantic suggestions would be appreciated. Some questions:

1. If you eloped, do you regret it?
2. Was your family super upset?
3. If you have children and they elope will you be hurt or upset?
4. If your siblings eloped, would you feel relieved, or be upset?
5. Anyone wish they eloped?
6. ANyone married at city hall? Any regrets?

We are really limited by budget, and we are hoping for fun stress and drama free ceremony. We have contemplated inviting our parents & siblings, but we are concerned this will cause all sorts of unsolicited opinions and the type of drama we are hoping to avoid.

I would be heartbroken if I weren't invited to my kid's wedding.

If money is tight just have a small ceremoney with your immediate family present and serve coffee and wedding cake afterwards.

If you have a Costco nearby you can get a sheetcake for under $20.

 

[MOMTOCUTESTDOGEVER]

Due to money we considered eloping too until I was told by a friend of mine that; "Every woman deserves to walk down the aisle and have her day at least once". We saved for a year to do a modest wedding.

This is so true. DH and I eloped 14 years ago, and I regret not having my day. I didn't have my dress, didn't have the cake, didn't get to be fussed over and made beautiful... It was all we could do at the time, but my heart does hurt a bit when I think about missing the pomp and circumstance of this very special day.

That being said, I think I would regret spending more than a few thousand on a wedding, so maybe it worked out for the best.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I will offer the disclaimer that I don't have kids.

But, in the words of a former co-worker "If you elope, your father and I will have a nice party when you get back AND we'll give you a check for the amount we would've paid for a lavish wedding when you're ready to buy a house."

I didn't elope b/c my mother wanted the wedding so badly. I don't regret having a ceremony, but I do wish I had eloped. We got married one day and had to get up and go to summer school the next day.

 

[C.Ann]

I think the two of you need to study what is in your heads and your hearts and then make a decision based on what you feel the two of you truly want..

This is your day - your new beginning.. The choices are yours to make and yours alone..

Whatever you decide, I hope the two of you will be very happy..

 

[Rafiki31]

I think the two of you need to study what is in your heads and your hearts and then make a decision based on what you feel the two of you truly want..

This is your day - your new beginning.. The choices are yours to make and yours alone..

Whatever you decide, I hope the two of you will be very happy..

That is so sweet! Thank you, Unfortunately what we want is the opposite of what our families both want. Our hearts are of course at WDW the most romantic place where we took our first vaca together We would like a small Disney Escape wedding, but the logistics of getting everyone to Fl seem like a lot of stress. Our families both want big lavish type wedding which we cannot afford. We did try to start planning a regular wedding, but it spun out of control so we had to take a step back and rethink it. The one thing we are sure of, is we are not interested in a wedding full of relatives we cannot identify. We just want immediate family, if anyone comes. We would both be fine with eloping on our own, but we are afraid our moms will never forgive us. We think the rest of the fam will be relieved to not have another wedding to contend with.

When I walk down the aisle, I do not want to be nervous or self concious, and we do NOT want to be meeting people for the first time the day of our wedding. DF is pretty shy, and I am pretty clumsy. The people I want there are the ones that will laugh WITH me when I trip on the aisle. And he thinks it would be nice to have his brothers there.

We thought about a nice BBQ wedding in my parents backyard, but our parents decided that it would look "too cheap". (to who?!)

BTW I LOVE that you guys are all helping out here! I love the community board! It is so helpful to see what regrets people have, and what people do not regret. I can ask you all the things I need to know, but cannot ask my family without starting world war 3!

 

[Sparx]

That is so sweet! Thank you, Unfortunately what we want is the opposite of what our families both want. Our hearts are of course at WDW the most romantic place where we took our first vaca together We would like a small Disney Escape wedding, but the logistics of getting everyone to Fl seem like a lot of stress. Our families both want big lavish type wedding which we cannot afford. We did try to start planning a regular wedding, but it spun out of control so we had to take a step back and rethink it. The one thing we are sure of, is we are not interested in a wedding full of relatives we cannot identify. We just want immediate family, if anyone comes. We would both be fine with eloping on our own, but we are afraid our moms will never forgive us. We think the rest of the fam will be relieved to not have another wedding to contend with.

When I walk down the aisle, I do not want to be nervous or self concious, and we do NOT want to be meeting people for the first time the day of our wedding. DF is pretty shy, and I am pretty clumsy. The people I want there are the ones that will laugh WITH me when I trip on the aisle. And he thinks it would be nice to have his brothers there.

We thought about a nice BBQ wedding in my parents backyard, but our parents decided that it would look "too cheap". (to who?!)

if i were in your shoes, i would definitely go buy a beautiful dress, and call disney in the morning and start planning your escape.

your parents can plan a big elaborate reception when you get home, if that makes them happy, and you can wait till your wedding pictures come in, and have your pictures or video set up/playing all over the place. it would be really nice!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think if a couple wishes to elope, they have their reasons, and that's good enough for me.

I sometimes wish we did. A house was way more important to us than a wedding was, and paying for our little wedding delayed our home purchase during a time when prices and interest rates were skyrocketing, which impacted us long term more than we realized it would at the time.

OP, check out the Dan'l Webster Inn and Spa in Sandwich, MA. Good luck.

ETA we must have been posting at the same time. I think you should definitely consider going to Disney for your ceremony, with close family and friends, or by yourselves.

 

[lovepurple]

We eloped and have been happily married for over 20 years. We got married in a little wedding chapel in TN. I could not bring myself to have a big wedding because my parents are divorced and do not get along and they would have ruined it. They ruined my brother's wedding. If my kids want to elope I will be okay with that. It won't be my decision, it's up to them. I don't think the wedding is what is important. The marriage is. My family was disappointed that we eloped and my husband's family was even more disappointed. My FIL is a minister. DH, being a guy, was more than happy to elope. My only regret is that my family is so disfunctional that I couldn't have a nice wedding if I had wanted to. And I worry that when my kids do get married, two of my kids are engaged, that my parents will cause problems by not acting right, or fighting over who sits where like they did at my brother's wedding.

 

[clarabelle]

This is so true. DH and I eloped 14 years ago, and I regret not having my day. I didn't have my dress, didn't have the cake, didn't get to be fussed over and made beautiful... It was all we could do at the time, but my heart does hurt a bit when I think about missing the pomp and circumstance of this very special day.

That being said, I think I would regret spending more than a few thousand on a wedding, so maybe it worked out for the best.

Your dog is REALLY cute

But what if you had your day. And you weren't really fussed over? What if you really spent all the time leading up to your wedding trying to chivy people into getting their fittings, having a groomsman drop out and trying to get a last minute replacement. Having the groomsmen act silly and play practical jokes throughout the big day? I think sometimes weddings are a fantasy -that comes through for some people -but not everyone.
For me it was a letdown.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I've always thought a surprise wedding would be a good way to avoid family meddling in the plans (hmmm maybe I watch too much tv). You could put together a party at your house or have a bbq set up at a pavilion in a park and invite everyone you want to come to a special party. Then, arrange for a justice of the peace to be there.

 

[KimR]

My parents eloped and never had any regrets at all. On the other hand, I had a big wedding and my Mother was furious with me for a long time - she wanted me to elope.

I have 3 DDs and it doesn't matter to me either way - it's their wedding I'm fine with whatever makes them happy.

 

[hulagirl87]

DH and I technically eloped. People knew that we were going to get married, but it was just DH and myself. My mom was pretty hurt by it at the time. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't want her there. That wasn't it. It was just that I wanted it to be just the 2 of us.

We got married in Disney at the Yacht and Beach Club and it is a day that I will never forget. When I watch shows that show wedding planning and the big ceremony it is definitely something that I'm glad that I did not do. A month after we came home we had a get together at a park for family and friends. Pretty low key, but super fun.

 

[mrs_hower726]

1. If you eloped, do you regret it? Nope, not at all.


2. Was your family super upset? My side of the family all eloped so they were fine, DH's family was a little disappointed but they got over it quickly. The only thing my family was upset about is that we were eloping where we live, not where I grew up (7 hours difference in driving)


3. If you have children and they elope will you be hurt or upset?
I will probably be relieved since we won't have to fork over tons of money.

4. If your siblings eloped, would you feel relieved, or be upset?
My sis eloped when I was 13 (she was 21) and I could've cared less. I was her maid-of-honor and I got to wear a pretty dress.

For my ceremony, we invited immediate family and our 2 closest friends, which were our maid-of-honor and best man. The only thing I regret is that not everybody in the immediate family could be there, most due to distance and health. My parents threw us a picnic a month after we got married for my side of the family and all was well after that.

OP - if your dream is to get married in Disney, go for it. Have a picnic or BBQ after you get back to celebrate with your family. Good luck!

 

[RUDisney]

My grandparents eloped because my GM was Roman Catholic and my GF was Polish National Catholic. They went to city hall with 2 friends to witness their vows and then they went to their apartment where they served halushki (cabbage and noodles) to their neighbors.

My BIL decided to elope. The day before their ceremony, he called to invite just siblings and parents to the wedding. I was livid since my DH and I had been married for about 7 years and I helped this BIL through his divorce and filled out the paperwork for his anullment. He realized the error of his thoughts on Saturday morning and called to say that BILs and SILs were also siblings, so we could come, too.

His whole thing was that his mother and sisters ruined his first wedding. My SIL actually sat behind me in the church praying that his bride would trip coming down the aisle or come to her senses and leave the church. Nice "welcome to the family" don't you think? He had to dress at our house because his other brother was throwing a temper tantrum at his mother's house.

The priest finally convinced them to tell their families at the last minute so they wouldn't miss out on seeing them get married. They got married in church after the Saturday night Mass. They allowed me to take pictures that they wouldn't have otherwise had.

After the ceremony, everyone scattered. The B&G went to a fancy dinner, alone. Everyone else either went home or out to dinner at various places.

I think they did the right thing. They didn't have to listen to their parents and families give their opinions on what they should do, but they got to have their immediate family there with them as they married.

As for our wedding, we paid for 100% of it. Whenever someone would offer their opinion, if they got adament about something, I'd remind them that we get 100% of the opinions since we were paying for it and I wasn't about to accept even $1 from anyone because that would allow them to have a dollar's worth of an opinion. That worked out well for us.

 

[englishteacha]

We did not elope, though we considered having a private ceremony on a Wednesday, then our big wedding on Saturday. We decided against it, though.

My family would have been very disappointed if they hadn't been involved in our wedding. I have 7 siblings, all older, and they were really looking forward to their baby sister getting married. Mom and Dad would have been crushed if we hadn't included them. DH has a very small family, but his mom would have been sad if she hadn't been invited, and his dad and step-mom actually hosted our rehearsal dinner (pizza and sodas in the church hall...yummy!).

Our wedding was very budget-Mom and my siblings did the food, a friend baked our cake, and our reception was held at the American Legion (which has a nice ballroom). We were married in my church with DH's childhood pastor. It was a lovely, beautiful day, and it didn't cost a lot of money. Of course, not everyone has a large family who can help, so that makes it more difficult.

 

[lspst8]

I just got married in Las Vegas last month. It wasn't really eloping becuase everyone knew we were going there to get married, but no one was invited.

My family was not upset. His parents were a little upset and tried to invite themselves to Vegas to watch us get married. I told them that my family wasn't invited and so they were not invited either. (In case you can't tell, I have a terrible relationship with his parents. I have never been invited into their home, yet they want to come to my private wedding! The nerve!)

We don't have children, but obviously I wouldn't be upset, as long as they aren't running and eloping with a complete stranger! The couple get to decide "on their special day."

My sister is getting married next month over Columbus Day weekend. It is small wedding with only about 40 guests. I'm her only attendant. I totally wish she were going away, because I find weddings to be no fun and boring. They are going to Gatlinburg on their honeymoon, and she wishes that they could get married down there, but her fiance really wants a traditional wedding.

My parents did have a small dinner for us about two weeks after we got back from Vegas. Only 11 people there --- my parents, sister, her finace, his parents, brother, sister, and my mom's best friend. It was okay.