OPINIONS PLEASE!!! FIL wants to pay our way but wants it HIS way!

WE have the same issues with my inlaws. We tried Disney with them one time. We all paid our own ways and it still didn't work. I will never vacation with my inlaws again. A weekend is more than I can stand. Good Luck with your decision.
 
Remember Disney is the Happiest Place on earth and simply remind him that it is YOUR vacation too...hopefully you will find a middle ground...but I dont' think you should completely cave
 
Actually I wanted to write more but it sent before I was done - sorry - newbie - but what I wantedto say was this past summer my husband and I and our 10 month old went to Disney with my parents for 9 days and my husbands parents joined us for 5 of them...I was hesitant of this b/c it has always been just MY family that goes and my husbands have talked bad of Disney but in the end it was GREAT...We decided to have everyone pay their own way but really we just had a goal of HAVING FUN and we DID!! WE all did!! And like you I have had some run ins with my in-laws but really DISNEY is a place to put that all aside
 
I know people are posting that you sound like a spoiled brat, but what they don't realize is the level of frustration you carry around when you have an inlaw that delights in making things difficult and pulling the rug out from under you-I could very, very clearly *hear* that in your post, and to others it may be whining but to us in the rotten in law club, we get it!

Having said that, I regularly knock myself out to give the girls positive, controlled experiences with my MIL that they'll remember as happy times. So, I would say go on the trip with your FIL, he's making the effort, as lame and half a**ed as it is, it's better than nothing.

Which is something I have to keep reminding myself of, on occasion...

Here are some tips to help. Actually, just one big one. Make an itinerary, and email it or mail it to him and ask him (nicely) for input. This way, people don't get unrealistic expectations or make assumptions, two things that always lead to trouble in my family.

Well, one more. Schedule at least one day where you don't do stuff together at all with him-just with your kids and hubby. I call it the decompression day. Trust me, you'll need it after about four days in.

We've had good vacations with difficult people this way, and it's worth it.
 

Just a question here. Is your FIL a retired officer? I ask because mine is, and they sound twins! (Honestly, he is DH step-dad) You have to understand, I am an Air Force wife. ( DH is Staff Sargent. No officer here.) When we get together with DH parents, they always want to decide EVERYTHING! I am 36 years old with 3 wonderful children. I know how to think and what I like and don't like. My FIL opens his mouth and doesn't think. He won't listen to what anyone has to say. And normally insults my parents. (this has always been hard on me, but made worse since my mom died.)
Now, what would I do? Is what I am doing, tell him thank you kindly, but this is what your family wants and if that means he doesn't pay, so be it. If he wants to meet up at sometime, then you will try to work it in.
Sometimes, you have to put your foot down. If that means he gets upset, then he gets upset. I may sound mean, but if you don't do it now, he will try and decide everything, everytime you get together and then you will really hate those visits. I know, I am living it.
 
poohfriend said:
Let him know that you are Disney Savy and you think you have some planning talents that you can share for the vacation!! This will be your way of contributing to the overall success of the adventure. I'd say something like, "Since you're contributing so much financially to this trip, I'd like to contribute something to the trip too. I can be our group's tour guide to our enjoyment of the Disney parks."

This is a great idea!
 












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