Opinions on spanking children?

[handinpocket]

People are irritating...irritating little bugs. When you feel like lashing out, just tell them the horrible acts you intend to perpetrate at WDW. My kid is staying "2" until they can't fit in a stroller....

Don't waste your time, post a WDW infraction instead!!!

 

[dngnb8]

Is it okay? Yes or no and why, in what circumstances? Do you do it?

My boyfriend grew up in a family where the kids were spanked and I still see his younger siblings (10 and 7) being spanked from time to time.

I was never spanked as a child, though my dad was but apparently chose not to carry over that method of discipline to his own children.

I don't think spanking is totally awful, but can't imagine doing it to my own future children.

What do you think?

Discipline is about response. It is up to the parent to learn what the child is responding too. Some respond to spanking, others dont.

I will say spanking is more about the adult releasing frustration targeting the child, then discipline in some cases. So I would ask, are you spanking for you, or for the childs discipline

 

[FredinFL]

Run, don't walk, and don't look back. Just don't.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

This topic never goes over well.

I do think we can all agree that "Spanx" is a good thing.

YEP, like the PP below you, this is the best post on the thread! Congrats, you win!!!

 

[DonDraper]

Wow, just wow!
This is why so many children are abused physically, emotionally and sexually. Because other people feel that the well being of other children is none of their business!

The United States is an individualistic society, not collectivist. Each parent is responsible for the raising of their own child and unless they ask for opinions/advice, you probably would be best served to let them raise their kids the way they want to.

If you want to be actively engaged in raising others children, I would suggest an living in Asian community as they tend to embrace the community teamwork approach.

 

[BEloveDisney]

I have a few things to say before I run away and hide.

1. I was spanked (hit with an open hand on the butt with minimal force) when I was little (under ten) by my mother. It never hurt, but it certainly was embarrassing and got my attention. I was a rambunctious, back talking kind of kid. I was in time out every night. I had my own time out chair under the microwave and I'm surprised that I don't have some kind of lasting effect from the radiation! At some point time out just isn't enough or stops working. It was always in response to a serious, repeated violation or to something that would hurt me (running away in the parking lot and the like). It didn't scar me for life in anyway.

2. My step-dad definitely beat us (Hit with a mostly open hand on the butt with tremendous force (we're talking red butt cheeks). That was in response to everything we did wrong (spilled a drink, minor back talk, sibling squabbles). It hurt and while it didn't scar me it did effect me for a long time.

There is a definite difference between what my mom did and what my step dad did. As with anything, it isn't black and white. Not all hitting or physical discipline is necessarily abuse. Which brings me to my final statement:

3. In the county that I grew up in and in the county I live now, Children and Youth Services condones spanking as defined as hitting between the lower back and upper thighs (butt) with an open hand that does not leave marks for any period of time. Anytime any device is used (belt, spoon, extension cord, etc), marks are left, or it is anywhere other than the butt it is considered abuse. To be honest, I'm not sure why the body part getting hit matters that much, but it does. Perhaps it has something to do with having more fat/cushion there so as to reduce pain or something?

 

[NMAmy]

The United States is an individualistic society, not collectivist. Each parent is responsible for the raising of their own child and unless they ask for opinions/advice, you probably would be best served to let them raise their kids the way they want to.

If you want to be actively engaged in raising others children, I would suggest an living in Asian community as they tend to embrace the community teamwork approach.

Freyja lives in Iceland so telling her she should take her wacky ideas and leave the U.S. isn't really appropriate.

Thanks for the whole "America, love it or leave it" post, though. No thread is really complete without one.

 

[DonDraper]

Freyja lives in Iceland so telling her she should take her wacky ideas and leave the U.S. isn't really appropriate.

Thanks for the whole "America, love it or leave it" post, though. No thread is really complete without one.

The truth sometimes sheds some light. Freyja may live in Iceland but she is trying to ram her opinion down the throats of mostly U.S. residents so my response was quite appropriate.

 

[Freyja]

The truth sometimes sheds some light. Freyja may live in Iceland but she is trying to ram her opinion down the throats of mostly U.S. residents so my response was quite appropriate.

No, your response was actually quite rude and bordering on racist. I´m not telling anyone how to raise their children, I have just given my opinion on how I feel about it. Guess what I live in a free country too where I´m entitled to my opinion!

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

The truth sometimes sheds some light. Freyja may live in Iceland but she is trying to ram her opinion down the throats of mostly U.S. residents so my response was quite appropriate.

How is she "ramming her opinion"? Don't like it, don't read it. No "ramming" involved

How do you know this thread is made up of mostly US residents? This is a global board. U.S. residents don't corner the market on importance here on The Dis. Everyone's opinion is welcome

 

[Lucky4me]

Haven't read all the responses yet. I can imagine there's a wide range of opnions. I'll go look after I give mine.

We teach our babies and toddlers to not hit.
Spanking them is kind of counter productive to that.

We didn't hit any of our children. All four are good human beings and three are now adult contributing members of society.
When I see a parent out in public hitting a child, I intervene. In a way that makes them believe I am sympathetic to their emotions, but also stops the abuse right there. I also will speak up to friends and family members if I see them hitting their children.

Discipline consisted of age appropriate responses to their behavior. Babies-distract. Toddlers- distract and explain. Preschoolers-set limits and used time outs. Grade schoolers-set limits and used time outs, grounding and confiscating favorite things. High schoolers- set limits and grounded, took the car keys and lectured. (I think at that point they would have rather been hit. lol) We did a lot of positive reinforcement. When they did something good, we let them know it was good.
It worked great for us and none of my kids plan on hitting their children either. Yay!

 

[Freyja]

How is she "ramming her opinion"? Don't like it, don't read it. No "ramming" involved

How do you know this thread is made up of mostly US residents? This is a global board. U.S. residents don't corner the market on importance here on The Dis. Everyone's opinion is welcome

Thank you! This is not the first time here on the Dis that I have been told to take my non-American opinions elsewhere.

ETA: Not that my opinions are so entirely non-American. This wouldn´t be such a hot topic in the USA if everyone agreed that spanking was the way to go!

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

Thank you! This is not the first time here on the Dis that I have been told to take my non-American opinions elsewhere.

No problem. The whole "Asian Community" thing made my blood boil. How uneducated

 

[cm8]

Actions have consequences.

To each their own. As a parent you have been provided tools to correct any type of behavior that is out of line. I believe in using time out and popping my children. It is used as a correction method and nothing else. I don't believe in beating my children. We used to get beatings growing up. It was with what ever my Mother could find at the moment she needed it . I too turned out fine .

 

[DonDraper]

No problem. The whole "Asian Community" thing made my blood boil. How uneducated

Asian communities believe in a collectivist society. All you have to do is read the countless studies done by psychologists. This is proven fact. I'm not sure why you're blood is boiling.

 

[DonDraper]

How is she "ramming her opinion"? Don't like it, don't read it. No "ramming" involved

It's ramming because she's repeated her opinion roughly 20 or so times on this thread. Once is enough. We get where she stands.

 

[Freyja]

Asian communities believe in a collectivist society. All you have to do is read the countless studies done by psychologists. This is proven fact. I'm not sure why you're blood is boiling.

But why Asia? Why not just stay where I am, which is actually quite far from Asia? Or why not just move to the US where approx. 50% of mothers feel the same way I do?
Why do you think it is that so many mothers who were spanked choose not to spank their own children? How do you feel about the 68% of those who were spanked feeling it was undeserved?

http://www.babycenter.com/spanking Quote:
-81 percent of moms were spanked as children
-Today, only 49 percent of moms say they use spanking to discipline their children
-Moms today are 39 percent less likely to use spanking than their mother
-68 percent said that when they were spanked, they felt it was undeserved
-44 percent said they were spanked out of anger or frustration

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

It's ramming because she's repeated her opinion roughly 20 or so times on this thread. Once is enough. We get where she stands.

If you feel "rammed", stop reading. It really is quite simple.

 

[luvsJack]

If you feel "rammed", stop reading. It really is quite simple.

hmmmm. don't think you are ramming?? Please tell me where anyone that is pro-spanking has accused anyone who is anti-spanking of not being able to discipline their child, of being perverted, of having "issues", of abusing their children or any of the other 1001 "opinion" you all seem to have.

An "opinion" w/o putting down other posters would simply be " I don't believe in spanking and in MY OPINION its not the best discipline method".

That is hardly what either of you have done.

So, if everyone you are "ramming" the point to stopped reading, exactly what would be the point of your posts anyway?

 

[sam_gordon]

I was spanked as a child and I spank as a parent. We have three kids. The oldest (now 12) I think was only spanked once or twice. DS(7) I couldn't count how many times. DD(5) was spanked less than DS.

We tried time outs, restrictions on activities, going to bed early, etc. However, these didn't always work. A quick smack on the behind though, gets their attention.

Also, notice, we have three kids... the number of spankings for each kid was greatly different. hmm... you think maybe every child is different? Some kids might react to the time outs and other "non physical" punishments. Others don't. I don't think anyone can say 'x works as discipline for EVERY child'. If they can do that, they should write a book and make millions!