opinion: my horrible day!!

[LisaRay]

I know I don't post on here often but I really feel the need for some venting and complaining and i have no one who will listen to me!

My DH told me on Wednesday that a friend from work who is divorced and has his 2 kids this weekend (ages 10&12) was wanting to come to our town (45 minutes from work and the town he lives in) to camp with his kids. i HATE camping but we have all the tents and junk and the our kids will enjoy it (ours are ages 15 & 6). I have no problem staying at home while they camp and i usually come out to the campground and roast hotdogs and marshmellows etc and spend the evening but when it is time for bed i just can't do tents!! (need air conditioning and have claustrophobia, also hate wildlife and bugs!!) So this guy from work has borrowed a boat from his sister and is going to bring it too since the campground is near the big lake we have in our town. My husband went and borrowed an intertube, kneeboard and ski's from HIS sister so they were all set.

So fast forward to today... Saturday and our son has a game at 11am and then they are leaving. The plan is that they will load up and go meet the work friend and his kids at the campground, set up camp and then get the boat out on the lake. When they are done with all of this they are going to come and pick me up to go for a boat ride with them. Now i must add that i was feeling a little like maybe i shouldn't go since it is just the guys and their kids and who wants the wife along right?? but my DD will be going knee boarding and tubing on the back of the boat and i really wanted to see her do this plus i feel that with 4 kids and only 2 adults an extra adult might come in handy while doing the skiing and such. But i in no way was pushing myself on them! DH says come down and meet us at the boat docks at 3pm. Well i arrive and they pull up with a FULL boat! There is my DH and my 2 kids there is his work friend and his 2 kids plus a woman who must be the guys girlfriend (although DH says this guy isn't seeing anyone???) and an extra kid. Don't know if the extra kids belongs to her or if one of the other kids brought a friend?

Anyway i have to make my way down a rock covered hill to the edge of the water (in flip flops and almost busted my butt!!) and i notice right off that the boat looks full so i said that to my DH and he says yeah we are at capacity now. So i briefly think maybe he means once i get on we will be at capacity? But no he means without ME!
By this point my kids have climbed off the boat to say hi to me and my DH gives me a look like he knows i am probably not too happy. Meanwhile the work friend and his woman are not very friendly. and by not i mean they don't speak to me at all! And they seem like they want to get back to there fun right away. Not very pleased that they had to stop having fun to come over and see me!
Some dark looking clouds are off in the distance and they comment that they had better get going so they can get some tubing done before it starts to rain etc etc. and off they go in the boat. With my babies! and without me! My DH tells me what there campsite # is so i can come out later and cook out with them. Then off they go. I will say that my kids did seem puzzled as to why i wasn't coming along since they thought they were picking me up.

This work friends is always trying to get my DH to do things with him and his kids on weekends and they never have before but i know my DH has told me many times that he thinks it is because if they had someone else and some other kids it would make it more fun. But DH has always said that this guy doesn't have a girlfriend.

So anyway that is it that is my story now i am back sitting at home alone for about 4 more hours till they call and are back at the campground. And i have to tell you my feelings were very hurt i am not the sensitive type and don't get my feelings hurt often! (can't even remember the last time!!) but i got back in the car and just felt very unwanted and felt like crying! i actually had to fight back the tears.

plus now i am expected to come and eat at the campground with them tonight and i don't think i want to go and be around these people if that is the way they seemed toward me this afternoon!

 

[Barb D]

Ouch!

I hope your DH realizes that he owes you big time after that!

 

[BillSears]

I'm sorry to hear how you were treated. Personally I'd be passing on going back to the campground.

I know your husband and kids really didn't have a choice on the boats capacity. But now that you came all the way out there to join them one of two things should have been done. They should have called you before hand to let you know you couldn't go boating with them. Or they should have offloaded someone and you all should have taken turns being the person waiting on the shore.

 

[RadioFanatic]

If I were you, I wouldn't go and instead either go see a movie I've been dying to see but no one else does or rent some, get a pizza and ice cream and chill out - that sounds like heaven to me!

And I don't blame you, I would be ticked to. The least your dh could have done was call you and say don't bother coming.

 

[tevagirl]

No ifs, ands, or buts, that was rude. Somebody owes you an apology.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Your husband was totally out of line. NO WAY should he have gone without you. To leave you and take off with your children and this unfriendly couple is just beyond belief!

If it were me, we would be having a long, LONG, LONG talk tonight.

 

[Stacerita]

Rude. You husband may have not known about the extras and the boat being at capacity, but he could have called you ahead of time im thinking. And there is no way I would be going back there tonight. The co worker and that girl were very rude to not say anything to you and blow you off like that. I agree that I would be staying home and ordering pizza and a movie if i was you like another poster said. Apology is definately in order!

 

[LisaRay]

I want to thank you guys SO much for your kind words! Sometimes things happen and i think maybe it is me just be being *****y or PMSing or something. But it really did hurt my feelings.

Now for an update! My DH just called me to tell me that they have the boat tied up back in a cove by the campground so the kids can swim. He wanted to know if i wanted to come out there. And i said No! He said are you mad? and i said that i wasn't sure if mad was the right word for it. He was still on the boat with these people so couldnt' talk freely but said he "didn't know". meaning that he didn't know that the guy was bring the extra people. And he said for me to come on out and he would go up and meet me at the gate. I told him that i wasn't coming out right now and then we hung up!
He wanted to meet me at the gate so we could talk alone but for one thing i dont' want him leaving my 6 year old on the lake with these people!! and i am also still pretty ticked and not ready to make nice with him or any of them. I do believe that he didn't know they were going to be there but still!
Plus if they are all sitting on the boat in the cove while the kids swim then i have to sit out there and be friendly with them and i don't want to! I could hear my 6 year old son in the back ground having a good time but i bet my 15 year old daughter has figured out by now that mommy isn't very happy so i hope that doesn't ruin her evening too.


Thanks for the support guys! If i had shared this story with my mother she would have been NO support whatsoever!!!

 

[doxdogy]

I am so sorry that your feelings are hurt. I agree with the other posters, skip the cookout and stay home. I can totally understand your dislike of camping.

 

[chell]

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with the others. Hopefully, your DH only found out about the extra people and boat's capacity not long before you arrived. If he knew earlier, he should have called and saved you the trip. He also should have been more direct when you arrived and said something to the effect of, "I'm sorry but there isn't enough room for you on the boat," instead of the blow-off it sounds like you got.

And I wouldn't be meeting them at the campground tonight. Let your DH deal with his rude friend (and the friend's friend) and your kids. Take the night off. Personally, I like the ice cream & movie/book idea myself.

In the future, when DH's friend wants to get together, say, "no". If someone can't say, "hello!" then you don't need to be wasting your time on them.

 

[Snow Brite]

Yep! You need a girls night in! Or out! Whichever floats your boat! Oh! No pun intended....

I agree that they should have taken turns. I am sure your hubby did not know this was how the day was going to go down, but he should have called and told you the boat was full before you went all the way out there. Maybe he thought they were going to take turns too? Or that the woman and her child were going to stay behind?

Don't go out there for dinner. They obviously don't need your help making dinner and you will just be cranky with such rude people.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

Wow. If I pulled something like that I can tell you right now that the flames coming out of Lauri's ears would be seen from 100 miles away and I would be deaf for the rest of the weekend!

 

[CEDmom]

I can't blame you for being upset but I don't think your anger s/b directed at your DH. It would have been nice of him to contact and say extra people showed up and the boat was at capacity. Maybe he tried and couldn't get a connection. This co-worker sounds like a real tool and I think your DH learned a valuable lesson to turn down future invites.

I wouldn't go back for dinner. Take yourself someplace fun and enjoy the peace and quiet. As much as I love my family any time alone is very much welcome.

 

[AprilShowers]

I would be feeling the same way you are right now. And I am a sensitive person.
I have one question though: When you say they didn't speak to you, did you go down there, saying "Hi guys!" and they ignored you? Or did you not say anything either?
I'm not saying that it's your fault, just sometimes people are expecting someone else to be the first to speak up, and then are ticked, hurt, etc. when they don't. THEN the other party is thinking the same thing! KWIM? They could be saying to each other "man she's not very nice! She didn't even SPEAK to us!"

That being said, I would be a little miffed at DH for not calling and telling me that the friend (idiot) brought extra people and the boat is full. I would also be ticked that he didn't introduce me to these people. Cause if he did, then they would have NO REASON to just ignore and not speak to you.
But this so called "friend" is a real piece of work, and I'll bet your DH won't be making plans with him any time soon.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that your DH should have either phoned you to let you know that you shouldn't come or you all should have taken turns on the boat. Why did the person who showed up without warning get to go on the boat and you were left without any time on it? Of course maybe she'd been invited by the friend from the beginning and you (and your DH) didn't know about it. Strange that they didn't even say "hi" to you.

I wouldn't hold it against your DH too much, though. Hopefully he learned a lesson.

 

[Froggyswife]

Lets just say if it was my dh I would be having frog's legs for dinner!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Lets just say if it was my dh I would be having frog's legs for dinner!

Ribbit!

 

[AprilShowers]

Ok, I'm DYING to know. Did you go over there for dinner? Were they nice to you? Did you give DH a "talking to"?
I'm really curious as to how they treated you at dinner. Update please!

 

[miss missy]

I think DH was put in a pickle. But those plp are rude to not talk to you AND leave you there!!!!

If the work guy didnt tell DH about the friend and kid, he should be real MAD!

So did you go to the camp?