Operation Big Thunder: the Dole Whip Conspiracy COMPLETE

And now for something completely different.

Ok, maybe not completely different. We were still at a Naval museum, after all. But after seeing the largest type of ship in the fleet, we were headed to tour the most cramped and claustrophobic: a submarine. The U.S.S. Clamagore, to be exact.

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Commissioned in 1945, she mostly operated off the east coast and in the Caribbean, with a tour of duty in the Mediterranean in 1953, and was decommissioned by the Navy in 1975. She’s been on display at Patriots Point since 1981. Recently, the sub had been closed to tours for renovations, but we were fortunate enough to be able to go inside during our visit. I guess Pixie Dust extends all the way up to Charleston on occasion.

On the way, we got a different view of the Yorktown. If you're at sea and you have this view, you might want to change course.

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Entering the Clamagore. Visual proof that my family can, and does, still sink to new depths each year.

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The Torpedo Room. Does it look cramped? This is one of the widest rooms in the sub. Some bunks for the crew were in here as well. Yup, directly above the torpedo tubes. No air conditioning here, either.

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Here Sarah gives a demonstration of the types of corridors you’d need to navigate onboard. You pretty much have to represent the Lollipop Guild to be able to stand up straight in here.

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I’m not sure this machine is cleared high enough to receive messages concerning Operation Big Thunder.

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How deep does this thing go? Oh, she’ll go all the way to the bottom if we don’t stop her.

Somewhere along the way, they had a display of the ship's lathe. Why might you need a lathe on a submarine?

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Well...that's comforting.

Some soldiers in uniform were touring the sub at the same time, and one of them was nice enough to take a family picture for us.

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I asked what he thought about serving on a sub, and the guy said, “Man…you couldn’t pay me enough.”
Hey, they expect and demand your very best. Anything less, you should have joined the Air Force. You have to have good men. Good men, all of them.

We didn’t have time to explore the USS Laffey, which is a Destroyer on display.

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Why didn’t we have time? Because we needed to catch our boat to Fort Sumter. Fort Sumter is located out in Charleston Harbor, just at the inlet where the bay meets the ocean in an obviously strategic position. You can only reach it by boat, either from downtown Charleston or Patriots Point. Well, I guess you could also swim there. I didn’t try that.

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Park admission is “free”. Meaning, of course, you’ll pay through the nose to the boat operator for the trip there and back.

We saw this little fella waiting by the shore to bid us goodbye. Then the boat captain pulled a Crazy Ivan and left the dock, and we were on our way.

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It took about 30-45 minutes to reach the fort. It felt like a decade, since there was no air conditioning. You could get a bit of a breeze if you stood outside, but given our sunburn, none of us were in the mood to stand in the sun. So we endured a stuffy, crowded deck as we slowly cruised to the fort. On the plus side, we did see some dolphins swimming alongside the boat as we sailed.

We finally docked, and were then informed in no uncertain terms that we had 1 hour before the boat left, and that it might be a good idea to be onboard at that time.

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Fort Sumter is, of course, the place where the U.S. Civil War began. On April 12, 1861 a Confederate battery at nearby Fort Johnson (no longer exists) opened fire, and was joined by a garrison across the bay at Fort Moultrie. The battle lasted into the next day, when Fort Sumter caught on fire. Not having the manpower to both fight the Confederates and the blaze, the Union negotiated a surrender and were allowed to leave the fort, giving the Confederacy its first victory and joining the country in war for the next 4 years.

At least, I think the battle ended. If I’m wrong, then we’re at war. God help us all.

We toured Antietam National Battlefield earlier this summer, and from that Scotty has started to develop a keen interest in the Civil War. I think it was the cannon demonstration we watched that sold him on it.

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A display in the museum showed that the fort walls actually used to be a taller structure. I’m guessing that was before people shot at it with cannons and set it on fire.

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Original Confederate (South Carolina) and U.S. flags that flew during the battle.

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After wandering a while, we found the massive cannons. I don’t think they’d been cleaned in a while. Honestly, does anyone check these things?

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Interestingly, the inside of the fort contained a newer battery that had been constructed in 1898 named “Battery Huger” during the Spanish-American War.

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We made it onto the boat without having to resort to swimming for it, and as a reward we had a nice view of Charleston as we returned to Patriots Point.

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So far, we’d spent a lot of time around Charleston without actually being in it. Well, except for that whole wrong turn thing. Which I blame Darth Vader for.

From there, we made perhaps the most important stop of the day: the gift shop. Inside were the usual t-shirts, coffee mugs, magnets (no redneck cups, though) you’d expect to find. In keeping with his enthusiasm for the Civil War, Scotty used his own money to buy some plastic blue and gray army guys so he could stage a battle. There was one unique item that caught my eye:

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I love the warnings that were posted for our benefit. Anyway, after careful deliberation (i.e. I begged), the Budget Committee did approve the purchase of one of these babies. Now I can finally keep the kids in line. What do you think of that, Scotty?

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Coming Up Next: A McTour of Charleston.
 
And now for something completely different.

Monty Python's Flying Circus. The correct response is: "A man with 3 buttocks"
 

Yay, you're driving, not flying, so you get to buy a grenade!! :yay: :banana:

Great chapter. I love visiting Civil War sites.
 
And now for something completely different.

Monty Python Flying Circus

You pretty much have to represent the Lollipop Guild to be able to stand up straight in here.

Wizard of Oz

It took about 30-45 minutes to reach the fort. It felt like a decade, since there was no air conditioning. You could get a bit of a breeze if you stood outside, but given our sunburn, none of us were in the mood to stand in the sun. So we endured a stuffy, crowded deck as we slowly cruised to the fort. On the plus side, we did see some dolphins swimming alongside the boat as we sailed.

Lie (the Dolphins, not the miserable ride).

That cannon picture makes me homesick for Tom Sawyer Island.

Sniff.
 
Nice warning on the grenades. :rotfl2: Too funny. I'm actually surprised they sell them in a gift shop. Definitely a controversial item in some situations.

I think Denny would really like to go out to Fort Sumpter. But that boat ride in the heat sounds unappealing. Fortunately, we will be going in March.

Another great update and a nice family picture, too!
 
Truly nasty day at work and I’ve got a rehearsal to prep for this evening, so I’ll not be getting many of the quotes for this update. I think I’ll come back later this evening so I can give it the attention it deserves (and look foreword to doing so might I add), but for now…

I don’t think anyone picked up this quote back on the top of the last page:

Is it carrying a coconut? It could grip it by the husk.

“It’s not a matter of where he grips it…”



Monty Python and the Holy Grail
 
How can you blame Darth for the wrong turn when you didn't even bring him?

The sub reminds me of the sub at Battleship park in Mobile and although there is no real air conditioner there is some air blowing in there.

Fort Sumpter looked real cool, too bad the ride out there was so hot.

My oldest also had to have one of those grenades and a bullet, both of which he still has. Both were purchased at the Battleship park so it must be common souvies at military parks.

Love Scotty's expression!
 
Joining in !!! I live in South Carolina, so I have enjoyed seeing your posts about our area. Summers here aren't for sissies. This has been a pretty mild summer though. Looking forward to reading more.
 
But after seeing the largest type of ship in the fleet, we were headed to tour the most cramped and claustrophobic: a submarine.

I’m glad y’all got to see that one.
There was talk of it never being opened again and even being sunk as an artificial reef.


On the way, we got a different view of the Yorktown. If you're at sea and you have this view, you might want to change course.

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Being the stern, if you had that view…
the ship would likely be shrinking in the distance as she raced away from you.


I’m not sure this machine is cleared high enough to receive messages concerning Operation Big Thunder.

Nope that would require a “double secret” level of clearance.


How deep does this thing go?

Test Depth: 400 ft

“Oh, she’ll go all the way to the bottom if we don’t stop her.”

Well, yah… if you don’t stop her…

but we can come up if we like to, right?

Well, I like to think we can, but then, I'm an incurable optimist.


Somewhere along the way, they had a display of the ship's lathe. Why might you need a lathe on a submarine?

Alex…
What is: because there ain’t enough room to store spare parts?


Some soldiers in uniform were touring the sub at the same time, and one of them was nice enough to take a family picture for us.

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Nice!
As usual, y’all dress up a scene right nicely.
Well... most of ya’ anyway.


We didn’t have time to explore the USS Laffey, which is a Destroyer on display.

I have a few pictures from a couple of months ago if you’re interested.


Park admission is “free”. Meaning, of course, you’ll pay through the nose to the boat operator for the trip there and back.

Or you could swim.

They do allow private boats (with a reservation I believe).
But obviously you’d have to have a boat handy.

We finally docked, and were then informed in no uncertain terms that we had 1 hour before the boat left, and that it might be a good idea to be onboard at that time.

Last boat of the day?


We toured Antietam National Battlefield earlier this summer, and from that Scotty has started to develop a keen interest in the Civil War.

I’d like to tour that park.
One of very many I’d like to see to be sure.

I think it was the cannon demonstration we watched that sold him on it.

Scotty wants big boom…

After wandering a while, we found the massive cannons. I don’t think they’d been cleaned in a while. Honestly, does anyone check these things?

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It wouldn’t be an Oblivious TR without you stuffing your head into the muzzle of a gun at some point.

Interestingly, the inside of the fort contained a newer battery that had been constructed in 1898 named “Battery Huger” during the Spanish-American War.

[Annoying Trivia Mode - Activate]

“Huger”: pronounced: U-gee’
There are a hand full of names that show up on a number of streets, landmarks and even counties in this state that are pronounced a might strange, and that’s one of the most common.

That constitutes my annoying bit of trivia for this update.
Fell free to ignore.

[/Annoying Trivia Mode - Deactivate]



From there, we made perhaps the most important stop of the day: the gift shop. Inside were the usual t-shirts, coffee mugs, magnets (no redneck cups, though)

Awwwwwwww!





Disarmed hand grenade from a military souvenir shop: $15.00
Copious homeland security warnings related to hand grenades and airports: free
Photograph of young’en with said hand grenade: Prceless!


Coming Up Next: A McTour of Charleston.


Ya’ know you’re just gonn’a have to come back now.



As for the lie…
I do believe I’ve located that little detail,
but I’m going to wait a bit to see what some of the other guesses might be.
 
Being the stern, if you had that view…
the ship would likely be shrinking in the distance as she raced away from you.

:lmao::rotfl2::rotfl:

I knew being a landlubber would come back to bite me at some point. I briefly thought of double-checking this, but was too lazy and wanted to go for the cheap joke. So I deserve that.
 
:lmao::rotfl2::rotfl:

I knew being a landlubber would come back to bite me at some point. I briefly thought of double-checking this, but was too lazy and wanted to go for the cheap joke. So I deserve that.

Well… you’re not completely off the mark.
If that CV’s captain had just rung up “All Full Back” on the telegraph and you just happened to be sitting in a smaller vessel at about that distance and location…

Then you might want to seriously consider skedaddleing
:rotfl2: :rotfl:
 
One of these days we are going to make it over to Charleston. I think it's only about 4 hours. It would be an easy weekend trip, but we just haven't done it yet.

So, how craptastic do you have to be to get a bunk over the torpedo tubes? "Here you go, son. You'll be stuck in this big metal tube, underwater, for the next six months. Oh, and here's your bunk...right over the torpedo tubes. Have fun with that!"

And now you've got me feeling all bad for Darth. You don't take him and he still gets blamed for leading you in the wrong direction? That's just wrong.

Lie: You blame Darth Vader for the wrong turn.
 
I asked what he thought about serving on a sub, and the guy said, “Man…you couldn’t pay me enough.”
Hey, they expect and demand your very best. Anything less, you should have joined the Air Force. You have to have good men. Good men, all of them.
im saying that is the lie, i bet they were honored to serve even on a sub.
 














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