Online Dating

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I do exchange - it's another "check" for me. Someone who isn't cheating will be more inclined to share his digits. Whereas someone who is trying to hide that? Will not be so eager to dish out a number when I COULD be a crazy chick and may actually CALL the number - and the the wife asks questions etc etc ... so for me? I won't go on a date without a number, generally. Unless my super sleuthing didn't pick up any other red flags.

Some stick to the apps as a measure of security.

My past coworker who I mentioned posts quite a bit of her experiences on FB..oh the screen shots she sends me, but she's had to do her fair share of blocking on her cell and has switched back to mostly waiting for a good while before disclosing her cell number.

As far as giving our their number it's not a bad thought about the cheating part but people can have multiple numbers, they also carry on affairs with their cell and the spouse is none the wiser. Some cheaters are just that bold and smartphones have ways of hiding stuff much more than they used to. If it's worked out thus far for you why change it, just saying the nature of giving out your cell, especially these days, doesn't mean you're not otherwise with someone (or someones) else. That's an unfortunate thing truly though.

My husband just got a new phone the S21 and it doesn't have any notification lights around it (I think Samsung started that with the S10??), you have to actually install an app that will mimic the notification lights (so an incoming phone call will only be visible if the phone is face up without the notification light of a missed phone call if you have the phone on silent). We often have our phones on silent or vibrate but with the way spam and spoofing calls are it's just as easy for us to assume it's that. He also in particular gets calls from the Community Blood Center often. And in the last few months car dealerships since we've been car shopping a bit. All that to say I don't have any feelings that something is going on that I don't know about with my husband (or he feels with me), just saying sad as it is giving your phone number out in the past may have been more of an indication you aren't cheating but these days I'm not so sure

 

[disneychrista]

And it's not about not having nothing in common..Sure if you truly feel there's zero to work with you shouldn't feel pressured to engage just to engage..then again that isn't at all what I'm talking about

And that is just that. For me there has to be SOMETHING for me to choose to engage. No one is going to be a perfect match just from their profile. And yes I may skip over a great guy who could be the “one” because they list a bunch of things that I don’t connect with and nothing I do. But they could also be the date from hell. There is just no way to tell.

For me it really just depends on what the whole profile says about them. Not just ONE thing.

 

[Scouter]

FTR - I am not a stalker ... ;-) hahahahaha. I sleuth - I don't stalk
... and I have other stories that I'd forgotten about until I starting dragging these memories up. BWAHAHAHAHA! Did I tell you about the Mexican wrestler? OH! And I ONCE got contacted by Idris Elba!!! ON TINDER!!!

No way, really? Idris Elba and not someone posing as him?

 

[Scouter]

Some stick to the apps as a measure of security.

My past coworker who I mentioned posts quite a bit of her experiences on FB..oh the screen shots she sends me, but she's had to do her fair share of blocking on her cell and has switched back to mostly waiting for a good while before disclosing her cell number.

As far as giving our their number it's not a bad thought about the cheating part but people can have multiple numbers, they also carry on affairs with their cell and the spouse is none the wiser. Some cheaters are just that bold and smartphones have ways of hiding stuff much more than they used to. If it's worked out thus far for you why change it, just saying the nature of giving out your cell, especially these days, doesn't mean you're not otherwise with someone (or someones) else. That's an unfortunate thing truly though.

My husband just got a new phone the S21 and it doesn't have any notification lights around it (I think Samsung started that with the S10??), you have to actually install an app that will mimic the notification lights (so an incoming phone call will only be visible if the phone is face up without the notification light of a missed phone call if you have the phone on silent). We often have our phones on silent or vibrate but with the way spam and spoofing calls are it's just as easy for us to assume it's that. He also in particular gets calls from the Community Blood Center often. And in the last few months car dealerships since we've been car shopping a bit. All that to say I don't have any feelings that something is going on that I don't know about with my husband (or he feels with me), just saying sad as it is giving your phone number out in the past may have been more of an indication you aren't cheating but these days I'm not so sure

Actually I have that phone and am pissed that I have no good notification like I had on older ones. Can you tell me what app he got?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Actually I have that phone and am pissed that I have no good notification like I had on older ones. Can you tell me what app he got?

I have an S9 so I didn't realize that the newer ones stopped with it. I'm annoyed myself with that because I'm sure that's what they'll continue to do for the future. I live off those notifications lol. I mean it's how I know I missed a call, a text, etc. I think it's just silly to have to download an app to get that but I guess the way my husband described it is how they made the phone screens. I messaged him to ask him what it is because I can't remember off the top of my head but I'll requote ya when I find out.

 

[La Tomate]

As far as giving our their number it's not a bad thought about the cheating part but people can have multiple numbers, they also carry on affairs with their cell and the spouse is none the wiser. Some cheaters are just that bold and smartphones have ways of hiding stuff much more than they used to. If it's worked out thus far for you why change it, just saying the nature of giving out your cell, especially these days, doesn't mean you're not otherwise with someone (or someones) else. That's an unfortunate thing truly though.

I am well aware, that's why I said :

"Oh, and I get a guy could have a number through an app etc etc. Nothing is full proof - but I at least try for a move from the app to text/email/******* just so I can establish that they are potentially human."

It's also another check. It's up to other people how they chose to stay safe and date smarter - the question was "would you" ... and I answered. I would. If you've seen any of my other posts - you'll know I've encountered a LOT of cheaters and people looking to cheat. You wanna know how many of them gave out their digits or email?

NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NADA.

Red flags to me are either a bail out - or proceed with caution/do more sleuthing.

(Funny that other messaging app was blanked out... LOL!)

 

[La Tomate]

No way, really? Idris Elba and not someone posing as him?

It was someone pretending to be him - it was hilariously BAD. just. BAD.
I clued in pretty quickly - and so started to have some fun and then Dude was like "Don't you know how I am?!?!!" - SERIOUSLY. At that point? Even if I had proof from his mother that he was indeed Idris Elba. Pulling the "Don't you know who I am?!?" shtick? Bye Felipe!!!
I'm sure some people would be like "But you never know!!! Celebs use the apps too" ... no. 1. I knew. That was NOT Idris Elba. I had fun winding him up though. it was a chuckle. 2. No celebs are on the app looking for lurve in my tiny part of the world. I don't care how rose tinted your glasses are... it's not happening in the real world.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I am well aware, that's why I said :

"Oh, and I get a guy could have a number through an app etc etc. Nothing is full proof - but I at least try for a move from the app to text/email/******* just so I can establish that they are potentially human."

It's also another check. It's up to other people how they chose to stay safe and date smarter - the question was "would you" ... and I answered. I would. If you've seen any of my other posts - you'll know I've encountered a LOT of cheaters and people looking to cheat. You wanna know how many of them gave out their digits or email?

NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NADA.

Red flags to me are either a bail out - or proceed with caution/do more sleuthing.

(Funny that other messaging app was blanked out... LOL!)

And I guess I have a few people who have continued in the dating world who have the opposite experience where the cheaters had no issues giving up their phone numbers. You're right you can check that they aren't a bot or something. Like I said if it's working for you why change it. I was just offering a different experience.

Talk about crazy stories have any of you seen the mini-docuseries Love Fraud? It aired on Showtime. That's about a guy from my area. Lordy how he got so many women. Anyways he had different alias and according to a source he had "10 different social security numbers, 43 phone numbers and 58 registered addresses across the country" Now this guy was a con man, he wanted money and belongings and stuff from women and he married multiple women so a tad different than a guy in a relationship having a side chick(s) still. Unfortunately the guy in Love Fraud got off way too easy after he was finally caught and he's living in my area (or near it) with another woman I have a feeling your sleuthing skills may have worked well in this situation and you wouldn't have been a victim of his

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Actually I have that phone and am pissed that I have no good notification like I had on older ones. Can you tell me what app he got?

So my husband said he believe it was called Notify Buddy so hopefully that was the right name lol

 

[La Tomate]

I used to think my internet dating experiences were interesting…. Then I heard yours on this thread! I think I speak for most here in wanting the rest of these tales

I shared the Idris Elba one ^^^ ... the wrestler was also funny... he wasn't a wrestler, so wasn't into the sport - but he had a Mexican wrestling fetish - not here to kinkshame - it's just what he was into.
I am not into that, I'm not into being anyone's fetish (and something for another day and forum I think - not sure Disney is the place to get into THAT!) ANYHOO. Yah - the guy wouldn't talk about anything else - no matter how I tried - it always came back to the "Mexican wrestling" and how he found my size a challenge, and how he was going to "pin me" ... etc etc etc. This was only banter for 3 mebbe 4 evenings? And because it was all talk and no intention of meeting up .... and I can be a bit of a poop-disturber and my gf's egged me on .... I messaged him one evening (I was in his city for a gig) .... "HEY! GUESS WHAT! I'm in town!!!! Wanna pin me now?"

BAM!


Instant block.


I laughed my ample backside off.


No jokes. He read it and within about 15 seconds - he'd blocked me.

 

[Scouter]

So my husband said he believe it was called Notify Buddy so hopefully that was the right name lol

That's awesome! Thanks!

 

[Scouter]

I shared the Idris Elba one ^^^ ... the wrestler was also funny... he wasn't a wrestler, so wasn't into the sport - but he had a Mexican wrestling fetish - not here to kinkshame - it's just what he was into.
I am not into that, I'm not into being anyone's fetish (and something for another day and forum I think - not sure Disney is the place to get into THAT!) ANYHOO. Yah - the guy wouldn't talk about anything else - no matter how I tried - it always came back to the "Mexican wrestling" and how he found my size a challenge, and how he was going to "pin me" ... etc etc etc. This was only banter for 3 mebbe 4 evenings? And because it was all talk and no intention of meeting up .... and I can be a bit of a poop-disturber and my gf's egged me on .... I messaged him one evening (I was in his city for a gig) .... "HEY! GUESS WHAT! I'm in town!!!! Wanna pin me now?"

BAM!


Instant block.


I laughed my ample backside off.


No jokes. He read it and within about 15 seconds - he'd blocked me.

I don't really know what that's about and starting to do a search on those words.... forget it.... I don't really want to know.
But funny story!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That's awesome! Thanks!

Sure thing

 

[Rick195275]

I shared the Idris Elba one ^^^ ... the wrestler was also funny... he wasn't a wrestler, so wasn't into the sport - but he had a Mexican wrestling fetish - not here to kinkshame - it's just what he was into.
I am not into that, I'm not into being anyone's fetish (and something for another day and forum I think - not sure Disney is the place to get into THAT!) ANYHOO. Yah - the guy wouldn't talk about anything else - no matter how I tried - it always came back to the "Mexican wrestling" and how he found my size a challenge, and how he was going to "pin me" ... etc etc etc. This was only banter for 3 mebbe 4 evenings? And because it was all talk and no intention of meeting up .... and I can be a bit of a poop-disturber and my gf's egged me on .... I messaged him one evening (I was in his city for a gig) .... "HEY! GUESS WHAT! I'm in town!!!! Wanna pin me now?"

BAM!


Instant block.


I laughed my ample backside off.


No jokes. He read it and within about 15 seconds - he'd blocked me.

Mexican wrestling guy might be my favorite! That’s amazing Not kink shaming either and I’ve run into some interesting ones but that’s a new one to me lol. Were the other stories from “the hood” as odd as yours?! I’m trying to decide if men are just crazier or my dating experiences aren’t as interesting as I thought.

 

[La Tomate]

I don't really know what that's about and starting to do a search on those words.... forget it.... I don't really want to know.
But funny story!

That's the thing - I didn't even realise it was a "thing" ... he liked to dress up as a Mexican wrestler - and wrestle. That's what made him "happy" in his swimsuit area. And seemingly the larger the opponent - the "happier" he was.
FTR? he was on Tinder. I was not out there on non-vanilla apps.

 

[disneychrista]

Some of these stories makes me go


The strangest I’ve got is 3 of the possibly 4 guys I’ve meet all have ties to an even smaller town 20 miles away. They either live there or did.

 

[disneychrista]

Well yet again, I think the let's meet isn't going to happen. The guy I made plans with for tonight has yet to confirm and I would need to leave NOW if we were actually going to meet. I told him I would text him this afternoon to confirm plans, which I did and I haven't heard back.

I'm beginning to think this online dating thing is just a scam. No one actually seems to WANT to meet/date anyone. Just say they do and then move on to someone else to charm into wanting to meet them and never doing so.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Well yet again, I think the let's meet isn't going to happen. The guy I made plans with for tonight has yet to confirm and I would need to leave NOW if we were actually going to meet. I told him I would text him this afternoon to confirm plans, which I did and I haven't heard back.

I'm beginning to think this online dating thing is just a scam. No one actually seems to WANT to meet/date anyone. Just say they do and then move on to someone else to charm into wanting to meet them and never doing so.

Sad to read this update. So hurtful and careless of your feelings.

 

[DIS_MERI]

Well yet again, I think the let's meet isn't going to happen. The guy I made plans with for tonight has yet to confirm and I would need to leave NOW if we were actually going to meet. I told him I would text him this afternoon to confirm plans, which I did and I haven't heard back.

I'm beginning to think this online dating thing is just a scam. No one actually seems to WANT to meet/date anyone. Just say they do and then move on to someone else to charm into wanting to meet them and never doing so.

I've noticed that there are a lot of people who seem to use dating sites to boost their self esteem. They may not really be looking, but they want that initial thrill of the chase. It's something that feels very defeating when you are being real, looking for real.

 

[disneychrista]

I've noticed that there are a lot of people who seem to use dating sites to boost their self esteem. They may not really be looking, but they want that initial thrill of the chase. It's something that feels very defeating when you are being real, looking for real.

You might be right.


I said I’d give this 30 days, it’s been 6 - 7 weeks. I think it’s time to end this experiment.