A co-worker's son died in an automobile accident last week. The funeral was today. This is a very kind person who adored her son. I can't even imagine how she is managing to cope.
I have have major problems sleeping since it happened. This is someone I work with fairly closely and I guess besides the terrible sadness for her and her family, something like this really makes you realize how precious, yet tenuous, life is, and that something like this could happen to any of us at any time.
It has affected me so much, and of course I am just on the sidelines. I don't know how to deal with her when returns to work. My course of action was probably going to be to avoid discussing it, thinking that it would upset her, but in talking to some people who deal with this regularly they said that would be the absolute worst thing -- she will need to talk about him, and as much as it might hurt to do so it would be worse if she thinks that we feel that her loss was anything less than devastating, and if she thinks that her son has been forgotten.
My brother, a minister, said that this type of pain never goes away, but with time and support takes the edge off of the pain. He also told us that in dealing with the family after the death of a child it usually is NOT comforting to say anything "preachy" to them, e.g., he is in heaven now, he's better off, it was God's will, etc. It is a natural stage of grief to be angry that your child has been taken from you, and even if you firmly believe that your child is in heaven would that really take away the agony of not seeing his face, hearing his voice, making sure that he knows you love him?
Sorry, in case you can't tell this is something I am really struggling with at the moment. I can't really comprehend how devastating it would be to lose a child.
