One more baby..or Disney??!!

[Scuttle]

I am happy to "meet" all the other triplet families on DIS!!!!

I can so relate to what you are going through, and I have been trying really hard to figure out what the answer is to your question. Personally, I am still waiting for that "ah-ha" moment when my head becomes clear and we know the answer - I am still waiting

For now, we are just going with the idea of "whatever will be will be" and trying not over think the whole thing - yeah right! LOL I know that I seem to change my mind daily based on the behavior of the kids that day! LOL

Good luck with your decision!

 

[Hannathy]

Disney! Because in my mind if I have to think about whether I want a child more or to go to Disney, my mind and heart is telling me I'm not really sure about that next child. I think it should be an absolute want for a child and your heart and mind should tell you that, there shouldn't be any wavering.

 

[elderfam]

I had two daughters then a divorce, Now remarried to the absolute right man we are about to adopt a son.
My daughters are grown and thrilled about their little brother.
I guess my message is that family doesnt have to have a time schedule. I never would have thought I would be so gung ho to be a mommy again, but we have such a loving family that the time is just "right".

You are not wrong for thinking about the quality of life you are now living and wanting to protect it. Mothers have great instinct. This child we are adopting will have a great life because of where we are now in our lives. Does that make sense?

Glad you had a great trip!

 

[SusanMomOf2]

OH when will the flaming stop?!?!


Just joking!

I agree with you, girl. We have 2, one for me, one for my husband. Add another and you better give us another parent!! LOL! My husband said that he can't wait until our younger daughter gets old/tall enough to ride roller coasters so then we can go to some COOL parks i.e. Six Flags etc. I think we are all blessed to have kids, and we are meant to have that exact number of kids at this present time. To think, we're making a huge decision whether or not to create a whole new human being! Someone who will greatly impact this earth and have a whole life to live. That's amazing power God has shared with us!!

I need help figuring out which birthcontrol (if any at all) to use when hubby gets back from Iraq in 2 months! Woo Hoo!!!!!

 

[disneymarie]

Okay..please don't flame me. I know this sounds crazy...but we're (I'm) really struggeling here on whether or not to have a fourth child. We ALWAYS thought we'd have one more..and even had two miscarriages this past year ...but now after just returning from our first trip to WDW...I think I want to be done..heck..I don't know.

We were supposed to start trying again right when we got back...but that would mean no WDW for a few years . I know...Disney will always be there...but of course the crying babies/toddlers didn't help my urge much . We just had such a wonderful time and our boys are at the PERFECT age for Disney and it's only going to get better I asssume as the years go by.

I realize how silly I sound..can't count on strangers to make the decision..I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for listening!!

If you had medical problems with prgnancy's the past year, has that been diagx, for a potential problem. They should rule out various problems and get a clean bill of health.

There could be levels in your body, a need for a D & C, or many other things to rule out.
Best of luck, and when the time is right, you will know and be blessed.
dianne

 

[mrsltg]

I don't think your post is bad/wrong/stupid, etc. I am expecting my 4th baby in December. She was a complete surprise! I had finally arrived at a place where I was certain I was done. I was preparing to give away all of my baby stuff - then the second line appeared. I cried and cried and cried. "How will we afford this?" "What about Disney?" It was the perception of a major life change that threw me for a loop. Well, here I am, 6 months along, planning next year's Disney trip. "Tummy Baby" as my 2 year old affectionately calls her, will spend a week with Grandma and Grandpa while Daddy and I take the older two to Disney. Two years later we'll go as a family of five. I don't kid myself into thinking it will be easy - it won't. But it will be fun. And, 20 years from now I am NOT going to regret having my third daughter. In fact, I'd be willing to bet in about 20 weeks I'll be wondering what I ever did without her and how lucky we are to be holding another baby.

Good luck with your decision. And remember, you don't have to decide today, or even tomorrow. Give yourself some time.

 

[Blessed_wth_Triplets]

Wow...thanks so much for all the kind support and words. You guys are awesome! I'm pretty sure we're done "for now"..and may re-evaluate in about a year...that is as long as Aunt Flow arrives in the next couple of days! ;0)

 

[Manda]

Well, I've only got one and that's all I'm ever having... but I'll just say that I totally know what you're saying about the 4 year olds being perfect for Disney. We took DS at 2, 3, and 4. It's always been fun, but this was 4 year old trip was just so much different and more fun for all of us. Instead of just basically being parents in a different location for a week, he was more of a travel companion to do things WITH instead of FOR. We had fun together and enjoyed the same rides. He's finally turning into one of us, LOL! And I can totally see how each trip is going to get better now. Each time he grows, we get a few more rides to go on together! I can't imagine going back again to those little guy days...

 

[solgent]

Why did we have 3 kids?

We had twins first and then I wanted another so as to be able to go through everything again. I didn't want to experience every stage for the first time and have it also be the last time.

For us a 3rd child really added a lot of dimensions to the family.

Here's how I think of it

Family of 2: 1 relationship between A and B

Family of 3: 4 relationships (AB, AC, BC and ABC)

Family of 4: 11 relationships (AB, AC, AD, BC, BD, CD, ABC, ABD, ACD, BCD, ABCD)

Family of 5: 26 relationships (AB, AC, AD, AE, BC, BD, BE, CD, CE, DE, ABC, ABD, ABE, ACD, ACE, ADE, BCD, BCE, BDE, CDE, ABCD, ABCE, ABDE, ACDE, BCDE, ABCDE)

So, yes, there are a lot more groups and pairing that can result with the addition of a 3rd child, and we like that! I like how people can mix and match and reshuffle in different ways.

 

[Mkrop]

Disclaimer: I'm not looking to start trouble, get flamed, or second guess anyone's choices. I swear. It is not my intention to offend anyone.

I am the oldest of 3 and my sister and I were just discussing how hard it was to be 3 kids- when we went out for dinner, we were always the booth with the chair sticking out in the aisle, or the family that had the illegal rollaway bed on vacation.
More importantly, there seemed to always be an "odd man out" between the 3 of us - the 2 girls vs the boy or the 2 oldest vs the baby. Now that we are both parents ourselves, we were thinking that going from 1 kid to 2 maybe was not too bad, but juggling from 2 to 3 is much harder so a lot of people may stop there rather than have 4 (or more). BTW, this came up because even though we're all adults now, there is still an "odd man out".

I'm just curious why so many people feel that 3 is the right number as opposed to 2 or 4?

Edited to add: Sorry - I just realized that a lot of you are parents of triplets so the decision to have 3 was not "entirely" in your hands.

I can toatlly relate to this. I HATED being in a family of three. I was always the odd man out bc I was the oldest. I was 10 and 14 years older than my brothers so that to was a factor. I hated amusement parks bc many times I had to ride alone, the whole booth thing etc. I swore I would never have an uneven number so now I have two. If God decides to override medicine then I will deal with it. But this did affect me greatly as a kid. Thanks for letting me use the couch to vent

 

[Princessbaby]

Disclaimer: I'm not looking to start trouble, get flamed, or second guess anyone's choices. I swear. It is not my intention to offend anyone.

I am the oldest of 3 and my sister and I were just discussing how hard it was to be 3 kids- when we went out for dinner, we were always the booth with the chair sticking out in the aisle, or the family that had the illegal rollaway bed on vacation.
More importantly, there seemed to always be an "odd man out" between the 3 of us - the 2 girls vs the boy or the 2 oldest vs the baby. Now that we are both parents ourselves, we were thinking that going from 1 kid to 2 maybe was not too bad, but juggling from 2 to 3 is much harder so a lot of people may stop there rather than have 4 (or more). BTW, this came up because even though we're all adults now, there is still an "odd man out".

I'm just curious why so many people feel that 3 is the right number as opposed to 2 or 4?

Edited to add: Sorry - I just realized that a lot of you are parents of triplets so the decision to have 3 was not "entirely" in your hands.

I am also the oldest of 3 ( my brother and sister are 7 and 9 years younger than I am, so it was always the 2 of them). But, I never felt bad about the odd number of kids in our family. It could have been the wide age span that did it, I don't know.
My DH and I have 3 kids (boys: 8 and 6. Girl: 3). Our decision to stop after 3 came after my DD was extremely sick as an infant with what turned out to be a small basketball size mass in her abdomen. She was in and out of the hosiptal for 6 months and was in ICU when we almost lost her. She, along with my 6 year old, both have heart conditions (we would have stopped at 2 kids had we known that my DS6 had a heart issue, but we didn't until after my DD was born). This alone is enough for me to say I am done. So, I guess for us our decision stems from health issues. Our original plan was for 4 because I am not a fan of odd number children either, but this is a fine situation for us. I don't regret this decision at all.

 

[lori123]

Oh boy - did this hit me. I don't think it is an easy decision - there are a lot of factors - everyone doesn't have the luxury to just go with their heart as Hannathy suggested. For us their is a finacial component. Dh and I have 7 year old twins after years (and a lot of $$) of infertility treatment. We hoped and prayed for a surprise since their birth - but no such luck. For us, it would cost $11,000++ just to TRY for another via IVF/ICSI - as many of you know - there are no guarantees. Could you imagine paying off a loan - with no baby to show for it? Now I have gotten to the point that my twins are older - and I also have wonder if it is too late to start again. It would be like having an only child - and I hated being an only. I wish you luck with your decision!

 

[debaone]

I know how you feel. We recently cancelled a trip to Disney World in favor of our brand new beautiful baby girls. But I am still chomping at the bit to take them to Disney, but don't want to go too soon and have it turn out bad.

Waiting patiently . . .

 

[flipflop]

i'm so glad you had a great trip!!!

i am with you 100% on that struggle...i really think we want to be done having kids, but i still sometimes think, "well....maybe". i don't know about you, but my remaining "maybe" thoughts are generally focused on "missing out" on a singleton pregnancy and child (and i know there are no guarantees on a healthy, easy singleton). plus, i know we would all love and accept another baby into the family (just as we did with the first three and all the difficulties and chaos that came with a triplet pregnancy), so there is no definite factor in our lives (finances, life situation, spouse support) that says to "shut the door" on that part of our lives, which makes the choice harder.

and i also agree with you 100% that an excellent Disney vacation IS a motivator not to have more. it is one of the better examples in our life of how having just our 3 is just perfect for our family right now. truly, just like you, we think of it in the same terms as you are..."another baby would interefere with our vacation schedule (among other things)!". is that mean or selfish? no, because we know that if we did actually get pregnant, that thought would be out the window and we would be blissfully happy to welcome another one. but RIGHT NOW, while a potential baby is still only in the "planning stages", i think it is important to evaluate what you may want (or not want) in the future based on what you have (and appreciate) now.


good luck,

This is exactly how I am feeling. I could have written this post.

ETA: Nice to see the triplet mommies from the multiples thread. Hi!!

 

[SplashMountainMama]

I think most families with 3 or more kids have that one child who is "the odd one out". By that I mean he/she marches to a different beat so I don't believe having an odd or even number of kids makes that big of a difference. I totally understand the OP's dilemma. I was one of those kids who dreamed of going to Disney World forever and I finally got there after I had Baby #5. We took a big family trip and we were bit by the Disney bug big time! I took another trip with just my 2 oldest boys the next summer with the intention of taking each of the kids in smaller groups over the next few years. Well, last February I discovered I was unexpectedly pregnant with #6 (darn that wine ) and honest to goodness one of my first thoughts was "But I was supposed to take DD on her special trip to Disney next summer! " So, plans change and whatever will be will be, but Disney will be there for whenever you want to return. BTW, with 2 1/2 weeks left until #6 arrives we already have a trip in the works for February!

 

[mymadelynn]

Dh and I juggled a long time on whether to have our 3rd child. That being said we did have a third dd but we won't be having anymore. If your kids are 4 think about if you really want to go back to the baby stage Ours are only 2.5 years apart and I found it was very difficult to start all over.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Hats off to all of you! I'm a woman with one...who is very happy with one...until I think of her as an old lady all alone I actually have the opposite reaction in Disney. I got to Disney and want more kids...because I see all the big happy families. Then I get home, remember day care costs, and go back to be happy with my singleton

 

[crisi]

I have a couple of friends who struggled with secondary infertility and eventually decided to adopt. That could be an option for you as well in a few years. With three small kids and miscarriages, I can COMPLETELY understand why you'd want to get off the fertility rollercoaster.

We were on it and eventually adopted and when you are making the decision to get on or get off funny things go through your head, such as "well, we could travel more without kids (or with one fewer)." Don't feel guilty about that - kids are a sacrifice.

 

[Praise2Him]

Disclaimer: I'm not looking to start trouble, get flamed, or second guess anyone's choices. I swear. It is not my intention to offend anyone.

I am the oldest of 3 and my sister and I were just discussing how hard it was to be 3 kids- when we went out for dinner, we were always the booth with the chair sticking out in the aisle, or the family that had the illegal rollaway bed on vacation.
More importantly, there seemed to always be an "odd man out" between the 3 of us - the 2 girls vs the boy or the 2 oldest vs the baby. Now that we are both parents ourselves, we were thinking that going from 1 kid to 2 maybe was not too bad, but juggling from 2 to 3 is much harder so a lot of people may stop there rather than have 4 (or more). BTW, this came up because even though we're all adults now, there is still an "odd man out".

I'm just curious why so many people feel that 3 is the right number as opposed to 2 or 4?

Edited to add: Sorry - I just realized that a lot of you are parents of triplets so the decision to have 3 was not "entirely" in your hands.

We have 3 and I totally agree with you! I never wanted 3 because it's an odd number (plus you have the dreaded "middle child" LOL)

The reason we have 3 is because DH wanted 2 and I wanted 4. We had 2 boys, so when #3 was a girl, I decided to compromise with 3 for DH's sake. For years I still wanted another one, and secretly hoped we would "accidentally" get pregnant, but it didn't happen.

Now that our oldest DS is married, DD finally has a sister and we sorta have 4 kids!

 

[DisneyPhD]

Disclaimer: I'm not looking to start trouble, get flamed, or second guess anyone's choices. I swear. It is not my intention to offend anyone.

I am the oldest of 3 and my sister and I were just discussing how hard it was to be 3 kids- when we went out for dinner, we were always the booth with the chair sticking out in the aisle, or the family that had the illegal rollaway bed on vacation.
More importantly, there seemed to always be an "odd man out" between the 3 of us - the 2 girls vs the boy or the 2 oldest vs the baby. Now that we are both parents ourselves, we were thinking that going from 1 kid to 2 maybe was not too bad, but juggling from 2 to 3 is much harder so a lot of people may stop there rather than have 4 (or more). BTW, this came up because even though we're all adults now, there is still an "odd man out".

I'm just curious why so many people feel that 3 is the right number as opposed to 2 or 4?

Edited to add: Sorry - I just realized that a lot of you are parents of triplets so the decision to have 3 was not "entirely" in your hands.

We have been mulling over the decision to have another child (making it 3 children in our family, we have 2 girls who are 3 and 6 right now.) I grew up in a family of 4, but it was 3 boys who were older, then me.

I admit a lot of what is holding me back is everything seems to be make for a family of 4 now a days. The issues you are talking about does concern me, not so much the odd person out though. I think the girls are going to have to just get used to that. It isn't a try for a boy thing either, I am pretty sure if we did have another child it would be a girl, odds are that is. If we had a boy that would be fine (but an adjustment for me.) We joke that my youngest now really has a middle child personality anyway.

Anyway OP I do know what you are talking about. Before having kids we always were wondering when the right time was. Often it was after our next trip to WDW.

Now when I consider it DH says we won't be able to all stay in a studio anymore and will need a 2 bedroom or only stay at AKL Villas one bedroom, where you can sleep 5. I wish more DVC would do that (at least OKW.)

OP how much of a chance is it if you have one more pregnancy it will result in more then one child??????? It sounds like you have been through a lot and are just questioning if you want to continue this or be content where you are. I completely understand that.