One has to be wrong

[crashbb]

Here's the thread that was mentioned:

http://disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2969393

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I think it sounds like the time to start having your mom (without your aunt) visit with you. That woman sounds nasty and evil. Stay far away from your aunt if possible. Your mom sounds like she's very special though. Listen to her.

I have to tell you that I have stepchildren. It's not a walk in the park HOWEVER, I love my husband and nothing that my stepdaughters could do would scare me off. One did try though. But my husband and I were meant to be together. The kids are grown and have their own life now. They are happy that their dad is happy.

Don't let your aunt get you down and never apologize for anything that happened during your childhood!! It's over and done with.

 

[minkydog]

I wont do any harm to my self this will pass and I will keep in mind my aunt has no clue what she is saying that might have talked a lot but still she knows very little

The only people who really know what goes on between a man and a woman are the people involved. Your aunt may think she knows, but she doesn't. You may think you know, but you don't, at least not everything. If your mom is saying that you didn't run off boyfriends I think you need to believe her.

 

[l_mccafferty]

OP, I agree with the others, it's your mum you should believe.

Even in the very small chance that your aunt is telling the truth, these guys, if they ran off because of you, did not deserve to be in you and your mum's lives.

I'm glad to hear that you actually do not want to hurt yourself, as that NEVER makes any situation better.

 

[mercydisney]

Maybe it was your aunt who ran all the boyfriends away. I mean how else would she know what happened.

 

[JessicaR]

can you send me that thread btw what brought this up is she made me apologize to one of my moms exs even though one main reason they are not together is because he is selfish

Your aunt can't make you do anything, unless you allow it. Perhaps your mom needs to have a talk with her. You really need to avoid and ignore her. She sounds awful.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

You need to believe your mom. It was she in the relationships, not your aunt and perhaps your aunt is a little too invested in your mother's relationships with guys. I do think that you should tell your aunt to knock it off and perhaps it is time your mother says something to her sister. I also agree with others that you should have little to do with your aunt. She sounds like a real peach rolleyes: )

 

[Christine]

My mom was also single for 8 years of my life. She didn't date a lot but she did make it clear to any boyfriends she had that I was her number 1 priority and their relationships would have to revolve around me.

Many single mothers do not put their children first when it comes to their relationships. It sounds as if your mother did. So what if some guys ran off because of you. It sounds like your mom put your first, as she should have, and many of those "boyfriends" didn't want to deal with that. Your aunt sounds like a woman who believes that the most important thing should have been your mom's relationships with men and, maybe, snagging a husband at all costs.

Sounds like your aunt might be a little of jealous of that?

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

My mom was also single for 8 years of my life. She didn't date a lot but she did make it clear to any boyfriends she had that I was her number 1 priority and their relationships would have to revolve around me.

Many single mothers do not put their children first when it comes to their relationships. It sounds as if your mother did. So what if some guys ran off because of you. It sounds like your mom put your first, as she should have, and many of those "boyfriends" didn't want to deal with that. Your aunt sounds like a woman who believes that the most important thing should have been your mom's relationships with men and, maybe, snagging a husband at all costs.

Sounds like your aunt might be a little of jealous of that?

why would she care if my mom has a husband or not

 

[WowLookAtThat]

why would she care if my mom has a husband or not

Who knows? But I used to be in your position.

My dad and mom went through an ugly divorce when I was a child. My dad did date often but wasn't really with anyone long term. My uncle blamed that on my brother and I, saying that my dad couldn't get a girlfriend because were were always there (we saw him every other weekend). My dad overheard this and put a stop to it and the next time my uncle tried to say something again, I told him to knock it off and get a life of his own. That didn't stop all of his complaints but it made it clear I wouldn't put up with his attitude.

 

[nmmom95]

I think she is upset that I am growing up a lot faster then her kids and she is taking it out on me.

I think you could be right about this. Jealousy makes people do strange (and sometimes mean) things. I would definitely believe your mom.

 

[minkydog]

why would she care if my mom has a husband or not

Lots of people think a woman can't live without a man.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I know no one said this but I did not realize I was keeping her at arms length I have private conversations with my mom because I don't want her to know about me I used the excuse up until this evening that it was stuff that happened before she moved it. but maybe it is because I don't want her to hold anything else against me. And I know it sounds childish but I am going to keep her at arms length to protect my self I am having a hard enough time adjusting to being an adult with out her pushing me down every chance she gets.

 

[nmmom95]

I know no one said this but I did not realize I was keeping her at arms length I have private conversations with my mom because I don't want her to know about me I used the excuse up until this evening that it was stuff that happened before she moved it. but maybe it is because I don't want her to hold anything else against me. And I know it sounds childish but I am going to keep her at arms length to protect my self I am having a hard enough time adjusting to being an adult with out her pushing me down every chance she gets.

I think you are doing the right thing. It doesn't sound childish at all. I think that is a mature way to handle it. You will continue to see her, since she lives with your mom, and this way she will not have the chance to hurt you.