Onboard account mishap - surprise to longtime DISer

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professorandmom

My favorite girls!
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Apr 25, 2002
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I took my first cruise in 2003 and have enjoyed endless hours on these boards dreaming, researching and planning. I just disembarked the July 29 Wonder and had a challenging experience with my shipboard account I thought I would share. Perhaps it is a one-in-a-million error but certainly was something I never expected. [note: happy ending]

My family of seven (all adults) was spread over 4 cabins. One son is less "financially stable" than the other folks in our group. After boarding, I learned he applied his debit card to his shipboard account.

I worried he'd run out of money so I decided on the first night to visit Guest Services and ask that his charges be added to my card, without his knowledge. This way, I thought, he could avoid embarrassment and yet might keep spending levels reasonable, thinking it was his funds.

Several days went by and my son received a note on his fish that explained that a payment of $1500 was declined and he needed to visit Guest Services immediately. Turns out that instead of adding his card to my account, the CM moved my expenses to his debit card. One $1500 charge had already been posted (I paid for all alcohol/brunch/etc for the entire group and did some jewelry shopping at EFFY) but when the second $1500 charge tried to post, it was denied. Yes, you read that correct: $1500 was already withdrawn from his tiny checking account balance. Oh, and this was August 1 so his rent check needed to clear.

I ran to guest services, freaked out. The CM immediately posted the credit but of course, we all know that the banks can take their sweet time posting credits. When I tried to explain the potential bounced checks, the CM promised to call the apartment rental office in the morning to explain. I thought it was funny that the CM thought that a call from Disney could pixie dust a bounced rent check. At this point it was 6 pm, 10 pm in Indiana so no hope of doing anything that night. My son was very angry for both the huge debit to his account and the embarrassment that now "everyone" knew exactly how much money he had in his bank account. The CM suggested I check back in the morning. No pixie dust that night although Guest Services did agree this was their error.

Next day we were in port and could check the checking account balance on the phone. Whew, the rent did not bounce. No $1500 credit yet of course but no other large expenses looming. I visited Guest Services and told them that we would be able to manage for the few days until the credit was posted. Good news: we were offered complementary Palo fees for the group. Later, my son and I each received a bottle of wine. And, my son eventually forgave me.

Long story...lesson learned: check to be sure that charges are pulling from the account you intended! I did see the debit in my ap under "account" but didn't inspect carefully to be sure it was the last four digits of my credit card. This is CRITICAL if a debit card is connected to the group.

Appreciate all the advice I've received...hope I might save someone else some financial angst...
 
The lesson to be learned is to not be a helicopter parent. Your kid is an adult and entitlements need to stop. As someone in my early 30's, I'd be pissed and would still be at my mom in a similar situation. I'd be pissed because she didn't trust me to be an adult, because she didn't know how to have boundaries and because as an adult I don't need her swooping in to "save" me.

This story reminds me of why I'm thankful I've been self sufficient since I was in collage at 20 years old and my parents since then haven't stepped it to "help me" (it's not actually helping) or paid for anything including bday/Xmas gifts over a couple hundred dollars. Heck when I was 20 with no credit score the large, cheap apartment complex near school wouldn't rent to me without a cosigner. When I called my mom she said there was no way they would co-sign for me, but thankfully my Dad did. But even without taking out more student loans (after sophomore year) I made sure that rent was paid on time no matter what so that the co-signing never caused them to get a letter.

Sometimes the best things a parent can do is respect their child as an adult and respect them enough to let them learn on their own. Even if they make mistakes and have to learn a tough lesson. The cord needs to be cut sooner than it is often times.
 
The lesson to be learned is to not be a helicopter parent. Your kid is an adult and entitlements need to stop. As someone in my early 30's, I'd be pissed and would still be at my mom in a similar situation. I'd be pissed because she didn't trust me to be an adult, because she didn't know how to have boundaries and because as an adult I don't need her swooping in to "save" me.

This story reminds me of why I'm thankful I've been self sufficient since I was in collage at 20 years old and my parents since then haven't stepped it to "help me" (it's not actually helping) or paid for anything including bday/Xmas gifts over a couple hundred dollars. Heck when I was 20 with no credit score the large, cheap apartment complex near school wouldn't rent to me without a cosigner. When I called my mom she said there was no way they would co-sign for me, but thankfully my Dad did. But even without taking out more student loans (after sophomore year) I made sure that rent was paid on time no matter what so that the co-signing never caused them to get a letter.

Sometimes the best things a parent can do is respect their child as an adult and respect them enough to let them learn on their own. Even if they make mistakes and have to learn a tough lesson. The cord needs to be cut sooner than it is often times.

This mishap could've happened regardless of whether the original poster was a helicopter parent or not. There are plenty of times where someone could later ask to change the payment method. It is a good warning for people to double check to make sure that payments are appropriately applied.
 

OP - You're a kind person and mom. I'm sure you've raised your son well...well enough to have the gratitude, kindness, and respect for you to forgive you for the mishap, and knowing that you were just trying to be nice, not unlike many families with parents or in laws who treat their children and grand children to trips like DCL. I get that you weren't trying to fix his problems for him but just wanted him to enjoy his vacation. You raised him well to be responsible and he had his finances in check to cover rent and his expenses, crap just happened. I had a rental car company charge me a fairly significant "young driver fee" when I am clearly not a young driver, being a self-sufficient adult with a family of my own. That caused a bit of panic while on vacation, with my funds locked away, and I couldn't use them until the car rental company and bank released them, so I get it. I'm really glad things worked out in the end, and his rent didn't bounce.
Thank you for the reminder to double check things, because people do make mistakes.
 
The lesson to be learned is to not be a helicopter parent. Your kid is an adult and entitlements need to stop. As someone in my early 30's, I'd be pissed and would still be at my mom in a similar situation. I'd be pissed because she didn't trust me to be an adult, because she didn't know how to have boundaries and because as an adult I don't need her swooping in to "save" me.

This story reminds me of why I'm thankful I've been self sufficient since I was in collage at 20 years old and my parents since then haven't stepped it to "help me" (it's not actually helping) or paid for anything including bday/Xmas gifts over a couple hundred dollars. Heck when I was 20 with no credit score the large, cheap apartment complex near school wouldn't rent to me without a cosigner. When I called my mom she said there was no way they would co-sign for me, but thankfully my Dad did. But even without taking out more student loans (after sophomore year) I made sure that rent was paid on time no matter what so that the co-signing never caused them to get a letter.

Sometimes the best things a parent can do is respect their child as an adult and respect them enough to let them learn on their own. Even if they make mistakes and have to learn a tough lesson. The cord needs to be cut sooner than it is often times.

Our kids don’t stop being our kids just because they grow up and move away. I don’t see anything at all wrong with a mom wanting to do something generous for her child while on vacation.

As someone whose parents could not wait to get rid of me the second I became an adult, I would have welcomed a mom so caring and involved and giving. Honestly, I needed my parents more as a young adult when I was trying to navigate the world all on my own than I ever did when I was under their roof.

To the OP: thanks for the heads up. I hate that it happened but I’m glad they were able to resolve it.
 
I learned from this you van apply a debit card to you on board account? Didn't know that! It's cheaper for us, due to foreign transaction fees
 
The lesson to be learned is to not be a helicopter parent. Your kid is an adult and entitlements need to stop. As someone in my early 30's, I'd be pissed and would still be at my mom in a similar situation. I'd be pissed because she didn't trust me to be an adult, because she didn't know how to have boundaries and because as an adult I don't need her swooping in to "save" me.

This story reminds me of why I'm thankful I've been self sufficient since I was in collage at 20 years old and my parents since then haven't stepped it to "help me" (it's not actually helping) or paid for anything including bday/Xmas gifts over a couple hundred dollars. Heck when I was 20 with no credit score the large, cheap apartment complex near school wouldn't rent to me without a cosigner. When I called my mom she said there was no way they would co-sign for me, but thankfully my Dad did. But even without taking out more student loans (after sophomore year) I made sure that rent was paid on time no matter what so that the co-signing never caused them to get a letter.

Sometimes the best things a parent can do is respect their child as an adult and respect them enough to let them learn on their own. Even if they make mistakes and have to learn a tough lesson. The cord needs to be cut sooner than it is often times.
Well good for you! But it's narrow minded to think that because you were able to do it, the entire world should be able to do it.
Do you realize that this is one of the rudest things to tell a person how to raise their children? Like asking a woman if she's pregnant-level. Just don't do it.

The OP just tried to do something nice, we are not talking about paying for rent, groceries, phone bills etc. Maybe it was only going to be $50 as the kid thought he was on a budget. I can see myself do something like that for friends. That this was for her/his own child is irrelevant to the story.
The story is, double check when you add/remove cards from an account.
 
Well good for you! But it's narrow minded to think that because you were able to do it, the entire world should be able to do it.
Do you realize that this is one of the rudest things to tell a person how to raise their children? Like asking a woman if she's pregnant-level. Just don't do it.

The OP just tried to do something nice, we are not talking about paying for rent, groceries, phone bills etc. Maybe it was only going to be $50 as the kid thought he was on a budget. I can see myself do something like that for friends. That this was for her/his own child is irrelevant to the story.
The story is, double check when you add/remove cards from an account.


OP, you did a good thing. You weren't saying "here kid, I'm paying, the sky's the limit". He was still thinking how he only has so much to spent since he has other bills to pay. And you were doing this for the trip, not for his whole life.


By the way, I started working 3 days after HS. At that point support from mom stopped. I had to start paying board, moved out about a year later (job moved outside of city). And life goes on. ( I just wanted to throw that in, so PP doesn't think I was on the receiving end of parental help.)

As far as "helicopter mom", throw that thought out the window.
 
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I worried he'd run out of money so I decided on the first night to visit Guest Services and ask that his charges be added to my card, without his knowledge. This way, I thought, he could avoid embarrassment and yet might keep spending levels reasonable, thinking it was his funds.

I know that the CM error probably would have happened regardless as to whether or not you had looped your son in, but that was just asking for trouble.
 
The lesson to be learned is to not be a helicopter parent. Your kid is an adult and entitlements need to stop. As someone in my early 30's, I'd be pissed and would still be at my mom in a similar situation. I'd be pissed because she didn't trust me to be an adult, because she didn't know how to have boundaries and because as an adult I don't need her swooping in to "save" me.

This story reminds me of why I'm thankful I've been self sufficient since I was in collage at 20 years old and my parents since then haven't stepped it to "help me" (it's not actually helping) or paid for anything including bday/Xmas gifts over a couple hundred dollars. Heck when I was 20 with no credit score the large, cheap apartment complex near school wouldn't rent to me without a cosigner. When I called my mom she said there was no way they would co-sign for me, but thankfully my Dad did. But even without taking out more student loans (after sophomore year) I made sure that rent was paid on time no matter what so that the co-signing never caused them to get a letter.

Sometimes the best things a parent can do is respect their child as an adult and respect them enough to let them learn on their own. Even if they make mistakes and have to learn a tough lesson. The cord needs to be cut sooner than it is often times.

Have a heart- you have absolutely no idea what that persons living situation is. Without listing every possible scenario, it could be many things and not a helicopter parent. The OP didn’t share the financial situation and that’s OK - they were just giving a heads up to others of something that could happen.
There is that saying that says be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
 
I can assure, regardless of the background of this story, this HAPPENS. My sister and I usually room together and each want our purchases to be processed to our own cards. I believe we've had more issues and difficulties than not. Now, we just go to guest services after making a few purchases to ensure that the right ones are going to the right card. For whatever reason, Disney seems to have some difficulties with ensuring the proper cards are attached to the proper accounts.
 
One cruise since as we were waiting to disembark, I opened the room charge details and, much to my surprise, the room charges were billed to our American Express card I'd use 2 years previously on a different ship. It didn't really make any difference but I thought it was weird.
 
Wow, that was stressful. I applaud you for doing something I would’ve done and have done. We leave next week and my grandson and his love are going on their first cruise. They both work, purchased their first home and are so nervous that there might be some hidden fees.....I know their mom plans to gift them some extra spending money with a gift card to guest services. I also booked their cruise with a placeholder I purchased for them, plus booked through Dreams Unlimited so they have a nice $280 obc. I will pass on your info to my daughter to keep an eye out on the gift card addition to their account. When we travel with our adult kids and grandkids I pick up a lot of the tab because I can afford it and enjoy helping. My family appreciates it and are grateful. Thanks for posting.
 
Parents walk a fine line - regardless of helicoptering - some kids like the help, some want to be independent and some don't mind help but when they offer to pay they expect the offer to be respected. After the kids started to be out on their own I had to give him the 'respect' info. He gets it but I still see him wince when the kids (38y, 35y, 31y) chip in somehow. He had no one to help him (it wasn't a parental choice - it was no parents) so he wants to help his kids and enjoy helping them while he's alive to see it. He always appreciated how my parents helped us and he wants to give that same help to his kids.
 
Thanking the OP for the heads up. I am definitely going to check after day 1 that the charges are all being billed correctly! I have had bad experiences at resorts with people room charging stuff to my room by accidentally (or not, who knows) putting in my room number on a slip, so this is something that makes me anxious. I am a bit disappointed as I would expect better from Disney as they normally have very good customer service.
 
P.S. OP, you did a nice thing and I'm sure your son realizes it now even though it must have been stressful at the time. I do have one suggestion for future vacations just from experience--we have unfortunately had a lot of rifts in my family because a parent gave extra financial support to a struggling adult child, and it caused the other adult children to be resentful and feel they are less loved (I know that is not the intent, but it is how this kind of thing sometimes gets interpreted). It may be worth just having a conversation with your other kids to make sure they are not feeling hurt that you took care of shipboard expenses for one but not all of the family, and offering to take them to a nice dinner or something just to "even things out."
 
Additional point. Although very rare, it is possible that two debit cards have the same last four numbers, so while checking that, just make sure it's yours. My two DSs have accounts that end in the same 4 numbers, otherwise I wouldn't have thought of that either.

Also, these mistakes happen all over the ship. My DS, when 12, was signed up for OC and they forgot (even though I told them) to tick off that he could leave on his own. There was my very embarrassed 12 year old standing at the doors of OC watching all the 8 and 8 year olds come and go as they pleased while he had to wait for his mommy. He never went back.

One little check mark that was forgotten.

It happens, so the advice to check everything is the way you want it is very wise.
 
OP, I'm sorry it turned out to be unnecessarily stressful but you had all good intentions. I'm old so therefore both DD's are old and I still WANT to give them things and always pay many WDW trips, gifts, meals out, etc.
They both are doing very well and could probably buy and sell us but we, as parents, love to see the look on their faces NOW instead of them receiving money once we're not around. And they both have turned out to be generous in love, money, help, time etc. to others.

My mother was not generous at all though my father was the absolute total opposite. I loved my father's qualities and wanted to emulate them. DH agrees 100%.
 
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