On a sad note...

[WDWstu]

I have a question regarding a rather sad situation. Our son died this year in November. He was only 5 weeks old and up until his last few days was a fine healthy infant. Our daughter was obviously devastated after waiting so long for him and having him home for a month. She is 4 and thinks that Disney is just the greatest place in the world (which of course it is!). We took her there for her first time in May 05. We want to go every year. And were planning on coming down there in '06 and bringing my parents to help with the baby so that we could all go. She was very excited to bring her new brother down to disney.

We think it is very important to come to Disney this year. I think it will help us re-establish and refresh ourselves. So we want to take her there soon.

Does anyone know if there is anything special that Disney does for these kinds of situations or does anyone have any ideas for something I can arrange for my daughter there that would make this a special trip for her with the circumstances what they are?

She told us 2 weeks after it happened that she had a plan. She said we needed to get to Disney world as soon as we could. Because we can go to the parade and meet Cinderella's Fairy Godmother. And the Fairy Godmother could turn us all in to angels so we could fly up to heaven and get her brother and bring him home. It was so sad when she told us this but SO cute too. Hopefully she won't ask for this when we go!

 

[carolfoy]

What a terribly sad story, my heart goes out to you, I can't answer I'm afraid about whether theres anything specific Disney can do for you but I'm sure that the trip will refresh your family unit and allow you to grow together again. If your daughter asks if you can go to bring her brother back my advice would be to just gently let her know that her brother is safe and happy where he is and that he won't be able to come back. I do hope you have a wonderful trip and your grieving will still allow you to enjoy your time there

 

[tracilicious]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine that kind of pain. Maybe you could have some sort of small quiet ceremony at a place that is special to you at WDW. Take a few minutes with your daughter and just talk about what a special person he was and how much he would have loved WDW. Just something so that she knows he will always be in your hearts. Maybe something at sunrise or at sunset. I don't know if I'm expressing this correctly. I don't know of anything that Disney does. I hope you have a wonderful trip and that healing comes to your family.

 

[luvmy2sams]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

Tracilicious has a good idea about doing something to honor your son's memory.

As for your DD, I'd suggest contacting Jane at Gifts of a Lifetime. They arrange "events" for all occasions, and I'm sure they could come up with something spectacular for your DD. Their website is www.giftsofalifetime.com.

 

[WDWstu]

That's a great idea to pick a place and make it a special place for him. That way every year we return we can think of him there. thanks!

 

[71010]

I am so sorry for your loss. In July of this year, we lost my dad to cancer. We all (My mom, myself and my 2 sisters) took care of him while they lived in my home and it was all very stressful. In September we decided we needed to go to Disney. I know that sounds silly to non-Disney people, but we really needed some pixydust. We needed to smile and feel the magic again. Disney is a wonderful healing place and just being there will help you through a lot. I would find a nice place to just have a few minutes to yourselves and reflect. I wouldnt think Disney (the castmemebers) would do anything in particular, but it is amazing how just being there will bring you everything you need.

 

[Nancyg56]

Oh WDWSTU, I am so sorry for your loss. You are very wise to help your little girl associate something magical with her baby brother. How sweet that she thinks that Disney is such a magical place. I think that there are some great ideas in this thread to help your little girl adjust to her loss. It is a rare adult who takes the time to understand the grieving process of a child, especially when that adult is also grieving. I hope that your trip is indeed magical.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am sure it is very difficult for your daughter (and you).

When you find the right "spot" to do your small memorial, maybe your DD could release a balloon that could go up to your son in heaven. Since she knows that is where he is, she could send him a present from WDW.

Best wishes for all of you.

 

[momofdbsdc]

I am sooo sorry for your loss!!! Our youngest has had a lot of health issues over the past year, and it can be such a stressful and frightening experience for their siblings.(and parents!) We are also planning our trip this upcoming May, so that we can regroup as a family.

A special quiet family moment sounds wonderful to remember your son. I would definitely contact gifts of a lifetime. Maybe your daughter could narrate a little note for her brother that you could write for her on special paper and attach it to a balloon to let it reach the heavens.

We will keep you and your family in our prayers!!! Sending lots of hugs and pixie dust your way!!!

Blessings,
Kim
momofdbsdca

 

[tarmand]

That's a great idea to pick a place and make it a special place for him. That way every year we return we can think of him there. thanks!

I am so sorry for you and your family.

Maybe you could buy a balloon and let her send it to he brother by releasing it into the air. Every year, you could go to that same spot and let her send him another balloon. I think that would fit pefectly with a 4-year olds mind.

You could tell her that her brother can't come home or go to Disney, but that whenever she is thinking of him and wants to send him a message that you guys could send up a message to him in a balloon. I've actually written a note, folded it up and stuck it inside of a latex balloon before having it filled with helium and releasing it into the sky. That could be a great way for her to feel like she can still keep him in her life.

 

[tarmand]

Wow, the balloon idea is apparently popular.

 

[paslea_pooh]

I have a question regarding a rather sad situation. Our son died this year in November. He was only 5 weeks old and up until his last few days was a fine healthy infant. Our daughter was obviously devastated after waiting so long for him and having him home for a month. She is 4 and thinks that Disney is just the greatest place in the world (which of course it is!). We took her there for her first time in May 05. We want to go every year. And were planning on coming down there in '06 and bringing my parents to help with the baby so that we could all go. She was very excited to bring her new brother down to disney.

We think it is very important to come to Disney this year. I think it will help us re-establish and refresh ourselves. So we want to take her there soon.

Does anyone know if there is anything special that Disney does for these kinds of situations or does anyone have any ideas for something I can arrange for my daughter there that would make this a special trip for her with the circumstances what they are?

She told us 2 weeks after it happened that she had a plan. She said we needed to get to Disney world as soon as we could. Because we can go to the parade and meet Cinderella's Fairy Godmother. And the Fairy Godmother could turn us all in to angels so we could fly up to heaven and get her brother and bring him home. It was so sad when she told us this but SO cute too. Hopefully she won't ask for this when we go!

First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. You are an awesome Mom to think of your daughter while you are still grieving and understandbly in so much pain yourself. She is a lucky girl.

Not sure what this is called but you know when you are walking up to the Magic Kingdom, you see peoples names in the ground in individual stones? What if you were to add your sons name there with his birthday. That way when you visit it every year you can see his name there and it's like he lives at Disney World... I'm sure that would be thrilling for your daughter. I know at Epcot they have something like that but they are on walls and they have pictures on them. You can do that with a picture of your family. I have no idea what this costs so please excuse me if it's a ridiculous idea.

You can buy a bouquet of balloons and release them at your resort for your darling son. Your daughter can write a special message on one to her baby brother.

Someone else suggested a favorite spot to visit as a memorial to your baby, which is a fabulous idea.

I made my daughters a t-shirt that someone here at the Dis designed. You might want to ask them if they can make your a special t-shirt image so you can do an iron on for her. Something that says... She's a big sister to an angel that's gone to heaven but she carries her baby brother in her heart... She can wear it one day to one of the parks.

Good Luck in your search for doing something special for her and in turn take time to do something special for yourself.

God Bless and my prayers are with you and your family.

 

[paslea_pooh]

You can buy a bouquet of balloons and release them at your resort for your darling son. Your daughter can write a special message on one to her baby brother

Wow I guess that is a popular idea... It just seems really special and a way for her to communicate with her baby brother.

Not sure if they do this... but you know how you can take an Illuminations cruise for a birthday... Could you do one to celebrate someone's life?

 

[WDWstu]

Wow. Thanks everyone for your kind words. The balloon idea is wonderful. It is something we actually do at home for her. At his funeral we brought a balloon for her to send up to heaven from the cemetery. We told her that since we were celebrating him that day that there was also a party in Heaven for him. So she sent a balloon to his party. We gave her one as well. And of course, it slipped out of her hand. And boy oh boy did she lose it. Now to all of the bystanders its looked like she was having a terrible fit because of her brother. But what she was really crying about was that her brother got both balloons and she was supposed to have one! Typical 4 year old right? So we learned our lesson and now when she wants to send him a balloon we only bring that one for him.

I don't know why, but it did not occurr to me to do this at disney. Its a wonderful idea and we will definitely do it!

Paslea_pooh, Thanks so much for idea about the names in the stones. I am definitely going to look into it. It would be a great memorial to him. Thank you!

 

[solferino]

Fir
Not sure what this is called but you know when you are walking up to the Magic Kingdom, you see peoples names in the ground in individual stones? What if you were to add your sons name there with his birthday. That way when you visit it every year you can see his name there and it's like he lives at Disney World... I'm sure that would be thrilling for your daughter. I know at Epcot they have something like that but they are on walls and they have pictures on them. You can do that with a picture of your family. I have no idea what this costs so please excuse me if it's a ridiculous idea.

I'm so sorry for your familys loss. As far as I know they're not doing the stones anymore, but there are the legacy tiles at Epcot. I think it can be only one or maybe 2 people in the picture, not sure if you can write a message or not. That might be something to look into.

 

[kimbac3]

Just wanted to add my hug and tell you I'm so sorry for your loss.
The balloon idea sounds great. Maybe you could do it a the wishing well near the castle.
Kimba

 

[gabbysmom04]

I have no advice to give but I wanted to tell you have sorry I am for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. I can very close to losing my DS when he was 2 days old. I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through. God bless you and your family.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Prayers for your family. I can not image. We were told we would loose our son but by the grace of God he made it. I love the balloon idea as well as celebrating the fact that she is still a big sister even though her baby lives in heaven. Perhaps a big sistesr shirt or basket.

It will be a bitter-sweet trip but please try to enjoy the magic.

Jordan's mom

 

[TDS373X]

I am so sorry for your loss. 2 years ago when my dd was 4 her father died on Thanksgiving day. We here in the Cincinnati area are very fortunate to have a center for greiving children free of charge where the kids starting at age 3 can go and be with other kids the same age and talk about their loss. they are divided into groups according to age and whom they lost (parent, sibling, grandparent etc..) while the kids are in their groups the parents are also in a group discussing and sharing the issues about this situation, how to work thru your greif and help your child too because children will greive at different ages as they grow up. I would check into something like that in your area I know it was a big help for us just to have other people to talk to that are going thru exactly the same thing very comforting to know you aren't alone and there are people who totally understand. Anyway her dad and I have one of the bricks you see in front of the magic kingdom it is the only connection she has to him involving Disney as the 2 of them never got to go together but she knows he loved it as much as she does. now every trip we go visit our brick and send a balloon up to heaven for daddy(he probably would rather have a turkey leg but...). I know you can not buy the bricks any more but you can still purchase the Leave a Legacy tile things at EPCOT. I know there are pictures on them you may want to try and call to find out if they could use a provided photo or could place a message on it so you could have something for you to visit when you go. Just a suggestion. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

 

[Tomskatt]

I have no words to add, but need to say I am so sorry for your heartache and loss. How blessed your daughter is to have you for a mom. Keep us posted how your plans turn out....... you are in my prayers.