Omg...my friend's dad hit on me

[annegal]

HOW old are you?

If you are under 18...tell your Mom, really. Total Inappropriate behavior.

 

[lulugirl]

That's really gross. I would avoid him at all costs.
I am also curious as to your age?

 

[JerseyBallerina]

I'm 22...graduating college in May

 

[lulugirl]

I'm 22...graduating college in the May

In that case I don't think it warrants a discussion w/ your parents but I still find his behavior beyond distasteful.
Do you generally spend a lot of time at this friends house (assuming she still lives w/ her parents)? That could get awkward if you have to keep finding reasons to avoid going there.....
UGH...wish I had better advice to offer, other than stay away from Mr.Creepy.

 

[pearlieq]

Time to have a talk with your mother about the fact that you're an adult.

She shouldn't be giving out your number to ANYONE without your direct permission.

I would also tell your mother exactly why you won't be taking that internship. It might hammer home your message loud and clear!

 

[agnes!]

Time to have a talk with your mother about the fact that you're an adult.

She shouldn't be giving out your number to ANYONE without your direct permission.

I would also tell your mother exactly why you won't be taking that internship. It might hammer home your message loud and clear!

^^^What she/he said. (BOLDING mine.)

Also, remember...you owe Creepy Dad *nothing*. You do not owe him being polite, you do not owe him the benefit of a doubt, you do not owe him the normal courtesies that would customarily be extended to friends' parents. As you said...HE DID NOT GET THE HINT. Time to move on to being forcefully BLUNT.
Btw, you do know that he is relying on your not telling anyone. Take the power of secrecy away from him.

agnes!

 

[JerseyBallerina]

Unfortunately, him and his wife are kind of close with my parents which makes the whole situation even grosser. They come over to my house for dinner occassionally which makes me think I should tell my mom.

I just don't want this to get out of hand. I know my mom will tell his wife and that can cause nothing but problems and I don't want to become "the other woman" especially when nothing happened.

 

[Narnian_Princess]

I'm 22...graduating college in May

No matter your age, being hit on by older creepy people is very disturbing. I know... it's happened to me. Of course, since your creepy person is actually physically in the same 100 mile radius or so, you can take real measures to make sure you don't come in contact with him again. If he pushes you, take out a restraining order that specifies no contact. I know how scary it is.

 

[lulugirl]

Unfortunately, him and his wife are kind of close with my parents which makes the whole situation even grosser. They come over to my house for dinner occassionally which makes me think I should tell my mom.

I just don't want this to get out of hand. I know my mom will tell his wife and that can cause nothing but problems and I don't want to become "the other woman" especially when nothing happened.

Tell him to back off or you will tell his wife, I bet he'll leave you alone.

 

[dolcezena]

Gotta say hon, as hard as it may be to work up the courage to do it, you've got to tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable & inappropriate. And definitely let your mom know what's happened. AFTER you've dealt with it.

Had a similar experience with the father of a (younger) co-worker at a staff party recently. Was just a tad freaked when his dad called me & asked me out for drinks (much lower on the ick factor, I know). But I told him since I was his son's supervisor, and engaged, it wasn't appropriate for him to call me.

Sad fact is, some men think they're a catch - tell him flat out he's just plain too old for you.

 

[Gurgi]

 

[OceanAnnie]

I just got off the phone with my mom. He called my house and talked to my mom about the internship. She called me to tell me about it and how it sounded like such a great thing.

She gave him my cell number so he could give me more details! I couldn't tell my mom what happened because the whole state would know by the end of the day, she has such a big mouth.

Now, I'm freaked he's gonna leave gross messages or call constantly.

Whew! And he and his wife are friends of your parent's! Not good. You don't want to be uncomfortable in your own home (when they come over). I hope you do tell your mom. You don't want her encouraging him to call you.

If I were in your shoes and he were to call, I'd just turn him down flat on the job offer and tell him not to call you again. Blunt would probably be best in this scenario. Ofcourse I don't know how close you are with your friend (whose dad is a perv) but you may have to cool it with the friendship and/or just hang out only without any chance of her dad being around.

Good luck. Keep us posted!

 

[JerseyBallerina]

I just hate him for putting me in this position. He's one of the older guys who thinks all women want him. He is very wealthy and he is good looking for an older man, so he is used to getting what he wants. I know my friend has suspected he has had affairs in the past and given his behavior, I can pretty much guarentee it. If he acted like that with someone who is the daughter of his friends and his daughter's friend, god knows how he acts with strangers.

I'm just afraid of pissing him off. He's a powerful guy and he can easily screw me over when I try to get a job.

I'm definitely going to talk to him - tell him I'm not taking the job and tell him why but I'm getting really nervous and anxious waiting for his call. Ugh, what a horrible feeling.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Don't be nervous and anxious! Be mad!!! At this point you are the powerful one. He shouldn't be making inappropriate comments to you (as well as using an internship as a positioning chip).

Don't be demure. Let him know he stepped over the line and not to do it again. He's probably powerful because people let him get away with it.

 

[JerseyBallerina]

I am mad. But I also really hate confrontation and I've never been in this situation before. Usually, I get hit on by drunk frat guys or construction workers and they're really easy to turn down.

I'm more mad at the fact that he thought that he could get me by offering me a job. I've known him for five years and he's never mentioned me working for him.

 

[oxfordcircus]

Tell him to back off or you will tell his wife, I bet he'll leave you alone.

Might ought to tell the wife anyway.

 

[JerseyBallerina]

Might ought to tell the wife anyway.

Like I said before, I don't want this to get blown out of proportion because the story can escalate to the point where people think we were having an affair.

I was thinking of telling my BF in case I need him to intimidate him but I don't want him to get all weird and protective of me.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I am mad. But I also really hate confrontation and I've never been in this situation before. Usually, I get hit on by drunk frat guys or construction workers and they're really easy to turn down.

I'm more mad at the fact that he thought that he could get me by offering me a job. I've known him for five years and he's never mentioned me working for him.

I didn't mean to imply you aren't mad. Sorry. I just meant direct it at him. I don't like confrontation either, but he is asking for it. Some don't get the point unless you give them a sharp talking to.

 

[JerseyBallerina]

I don't know what his deal is but he really can't get the hint.

He called me to see if I wanted to go out to lunch tomorrow to talk about specifics about the job. I told him I wasn't interested in the job and I didn't think it was a good idea for us to go out to lunch. Then he goes, how about dinner then?

I said I wasn't interested in him and I wasn't going to take the job. He told me to think about it and he'll call me again. He hung up before I could say anything.

I'm telling you, this just gets better and better for me.

 

[Amberle3]

Definitely tell your mother. I don't care how old you are, these are friends of the family and that means that if she doesn't know she's going to keep pressuring you to work for him and inviting them over etc. The more he's around you the more opportunity he has to hit on you. Parents also tend to keep a lot of things from their children so it's possible that your mother might not actually like him but is just putting up with him because of the wife.

And I'd tell your friend as well. Just come right out and tell her what you've said - you're really not sure how to talk to her about this but some of her father's behaviour made you really uncomfortable and you're not sure what you should do about it.

If he does try and badmouth you and attempt to screw things up then you can tell anyone who should ask you about it the truth - He made suggestive comments of a sexual nature to you and you've decided to stay as far away from him as possible. If a prospective employer knows him well enough to value his opinion then they should also know him well enough to suspect that what you're saying is true.

ETA: Next time he calls simply tell him that you are not interested in working for him, dining with him, or having to see him in any context at all and that if he attempts to contact you again you'll look into harassment charges.