Okay ladies a question for you, men take notes there will be a test


<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
Jul 15, 2001
My wife is so great… let me tell you what happened and ask a question of the women in the group.

Last week I had to go to Ft Myers for a company thing, I spent three day, two nights away from home.

While away from home on the first night I had dinner with my niece, and her three kids all adorable little angels, this was good because she had orders to keep an eye on me from the wife.

On the second night I didn't feel so hot so I just went back to hotel and crashed, my niece wanted to spend one more night with me (The watchful eye) but I just didn't feel up to the task.

I fell asleep and called Donna the next morning… as I was checking out I grabbed my bag and shoved my clothes in it, as any normal man would do by mixing my clean and dirty laundry together. (Another man thing)

Once I got home on the third night my duty was to of course get online and check out the Dis, since it had been off line when I left I hoped it would be back or I would need to start taking sedatives. (I need my Dis)

That's when it happened Donna decided to go for broke and empty my bag, she put on her fireman's outfit just in case and opened the bag.

Happy me on the boards I have no clue what will happen next. Then I hear the sound of the wife standing behind me making that clearing her throat sound.

I turn to find the wife standing at my office door holding a pair of women's underwear, not the buy at K-Mart $3.00 for three underwear, the Victoria Secrets kind.

So I smile and say hey you bought some underwear finally… The look on her face told me not a good time to make a joke (married for 18 some odd years will let you know these things trust me)

Act 1 scene 1

The location Ed's office… Scene taking place a murder soon to happen.

Ed: Hey you bought new underwear… (Smiles like an idiot happy over joke)

Donna: These aren't mine (Serious drama type murder music chimes in "dum dum dum"…(looks down at me pulls knife from my travel bag)

Ed: What do you mean they're not yours (looks at her with Sherlock holms inquisitive stare)

Donna: (screaming) I found these in your travel bag (Donna holds knife in the air) (mans best friend, my dog nicely curled up at my feet looks up at me and speaks) Woof woof woof bow woow…. Translation "your doomed I'm outta here" (dog leaves the room) Norman Bates Psycho music chimes in…(Donna moves towards Ed, close Curtin end of scene one)

That's how it should have happened in most normal types of situations, but that's not what happened.

Donna did stand there and hold up the evidence that would turn any man into a babbling fool, but when she asked the wear, who, and what, I just said "don't have a clue"… We laughed and it was over.

But how did they get in my bag?????

I'll tell you in a minute… you see after three days the mystery was solved, but first a question to the women of the group.

How many of you ladies after your significant others went away for three day two night, would accept the I don't have a clue answer your husband gives you, after you find a pair of Victoria Secrets women's underwear (not yours) in their travel bag?

Oh I know the Caballeros want a piece of this one (no they weren't mine).:p

The answer is simple my oldest granddaughter spent the night two days before I went away, she help do the laundry and a pair of her underwear got mixed up in the dryer and ended up in my drawer, I didn't see them when I packed my bag because as a man I just grabbed a handful of socks and underwear and dumped them in my bag.

But I guess what got me is I told this story at work where its mostly women, and got some interesting answers about what they would do like.

Kill, hurt, wound, shoot, remove part of the body, slash tires, and hire hit men not man, men and make sure he dies slowly.

I guess I'm lucky, but she did say it was the fact that I didn't have the look of horror on my face when presented with the evidence that saved me. So thank you honey for being so understanding and trusting of me, beside Vicky doesn't wear that kind of underwear (oops did I say that)


I don't know who Vicky is. Mitsubishis 0 down 0 payment 0 interest better be real when I go buy a car this weekend. I now know what MSRP is. Vicky was a fiction character that traveled with Jason and the Argonauts. My baloney has a first name it's O-S-C-A-R and you know the rest blah blah blah. Please buy my newest book called how to make money-selling books. My wife is cool. Mike is still a nice guy.
I never even would have gotten out the first word... All I would have seen is a Baseball Bat...
I'm married to a redhead with the nickname Mean Laureen .... do I REALLY need to elaborate??? :D :D :D

The Force would definitely not be with this jedi moderator!

and no one knows what happened to her first husband .... hmm .....
I would have believed every word you said. Remember I was married once and I heard the same type of stories.
No, wait a minute, I WAS Married once.
One more thing, you let your cute innocent grandaughter buy her undies in Victoria's Secret.
And make sure you get that extended warranty on the Mitsubshi. The transmissions usually only make if for about 5 years.
Had to be a reason that you were in the DC area and didn't let anyone here know ....
I'm still cracking up at Nat's and Matthew's answers!!!! :D :D :D

I'm thinking the baseball bat too!! Probably would have a tough time buying that one ;)

All I can say is I'm glad it was you and not here!!! :p

Sue Ellen
No I wouldn't get mad - but after he regained consciousness he better have a good explanation!!!

FYI a good cast iron skillet beats a baseball bat everytime - covers more area and leaves no tell tale mark.

But then again in my house we wave other things - right, Nat ?
I would have no problem believing your story.

Besides, if I hit him with a baseball bat, I'd have to nurse him back to health!

I trust my husband completely. I would not blink an eye over something like that. Just figure somehow it got there by mistake.
Amorcito! Es un milagro que Donna no te corto' los huevos! Translation: Donna is a very loving, trusting woman. What you don't understand is that women can smell a lying weasel a mile away. We have an innate sense that tells us when something is not kosher. The look of utter innocence and confusion (kind of like a yellow labrador retriever) on your face said it all. I still would've put you on P.R. for at least a week. (you'll have to email me privately for an explanation of P.R.-this is a FAMILY board!)
I miss you guys!
My grandmother always swore by the "frozen leg of lamb." After you hit him with it, you can cook it up and have it for dinner. No evidence left!!


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