It's sunny and fairly warm here today.. I just went outside to put some stuff in my van (change of plans - I'll be babysitting my granddaughter and staying overnight at my DD's house tonight) and there were a gazillion boxelder bugs ALL over the house.. Of course even the SLIGHTEST movement throws them into a frenzy, so they were dive-bombing at me left and right..
I tried the "gentle" approach.. "Please don't do that.. It frightens me and I don't think your parents would approve.."
Did it work? No!
Next I tried the "bribery" route.. "Tell you what, guys.. YOU don't bother ME and I won't bother YOU.. Deal?"
That didn't work either..
By now I am flailing about wildly with my arms, twisting my head in circles (like Linda Blair in the "Exorcist"), hopping all over the driveway and pretty much doing something that could easily be mistaken for a cross between a grand mal seizure and a dance from back in the day called "The Chicken" (with just a dab of the "Hokey Pokey" thrown in for good measure)..
I have to admit - I'm not a terribly patient person when it comes to being attacked by flying objects, so I determined it was time to up the ante..
"Now look you guys, if you don't BUG off (no pun intended) I am going to have to HURT you!"
Giggles and more fluttering of wings!!
That was the final straw for me! You can only push a person so far!! Steeling myself against God-only-knows-what, I gingerly worked my way down to the "Dark Zone" (better known as "Our Cellar").. With eyes darting back and forth and tingles running up and down my spine, I quickly located my weapon of mass destruction.. I lurched forward and grabbed it, cackling mindlessly as I sprinted up the stairs and back out into the daylight..
Now it was back into the house - to locate the "secret formula".. Ah ha! "Childs play, " I thought to myself. "They'll never know what hit them!"
With a determination usually reserved for a mother bear protecting her cubs, I marched outside and let them have it!!!!! I showed absolutely NO mercy..
They were dropping like flies! Thousands of them - mashed beyond recognition.. Soon it was quiet.. No more fluttering of wings - no more giggles....
Just a sea of black and red boxelder bugs - washed away in a river of dish liquid sprayed from my garden hose!!!!!!
So there you have.. Yes - I did it.. I admit it.. I killed them all..
Now could someone please call my attorney for me??????
I tried the "gentle" approach.. "Please don't do that.. It frightens me and I don't think your parents would approve.."
Did it work? No!
Next I tried the "bribery" route.. "Tell you what, guys.. YOU don't bother ME and I won't bother YOU.. Deal?"
That didn't work either..
By now I am flailing about wildly with my arms, twisting my head in circles (like Linda Blair in the "Exorcist"), hopping all over the driveway and pretty much doing something that could easily be mistaken for a cross between a grand mal seizure and a dance from back in the day called "The Chicken" (with just a dab of the "Hokey Pokey" thrown in for good measure)..
I have to admit - I'm not a terribly patient person when it comes to being attacked by flying objects, so I determined it was time to up the ante..
"Now look you guys, if you don't BUG off (no pun intended) I am going to have to HURT you!"
Giggles and more fluttering of wings!!
That was the final straw for me! You can only push a person so far!! Steeling myself against God-only-knows-what, I gingerly worked my way down to the "Dark Zone" (better known as "Our Cellar").. With eyes darting back and forth and tingles running up and down my spine, I quickly located my weapon of mass destruction.. I lurched forward and grabbed it, cackling mindlessly as I sprinted up the stairs and back out into the daylight..
Now it was back into the house - to locate the "secret formula".. Ah ha! "Childs play, " I thought to myself. "They'll never know what hit them!"
With a determination usually reserved for a mother bear protecting her cubs, I marched outside and let them have it!!!!! I showed absolutely NO mercy..
They were dropping like flies! Thousands of them - mashed beyond recognition.. Soon it was quiet.. No more fluttering of wings - no more giggles....
Just a sea of black and red boxelder bugs - washed away in a river of dish liquid sprayed from my garden hose!!!!!!
So there you have.. Yes - I did it.. I admit it.. I killed them all..

Now could someone please call my attorney for me??????
