OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[BethanyF]

another thing I like to call a huge fart is a "Weapon of Mass Destruction", LOL!

Ive heard it called something similar (one of the words in your name has too many letters )

 

[TKERBELL]

TKERBELL - Unfortunately body parts become less elastic as we age. The eye muscles go around 40, we need glasses. The chest area goes south. This includes the sphincter. There is no control when gas wants out, it gets out. You have even less control walking or bending over.

Oh I know I did not mean to offend anyone - it makes me laugh because she always uses the excuse of having ate an entemann's chocolate donut - the one she had 2 years ago!!!!

I have on occassion experienced the walking fart myself!!!

 

[goofygirl]

Ive heard it called something similar (one of the words in your name has too many letters )

Haha! I get it

Well, we can call it a W.A.D. then! lol

 

[AnaheimGirl]

OMG! This thread is hilarious! Finally finished reading the whole thing and now can share my fart story:

Honeymoon in New Zealand. Driving towards our next stop, Rotorua, a city full of geothermal fields, geysers, steam vents, boiling mud... I farted, just a little one, neither loud nor smelly, so I was surprised when dh wrinkled his nose just a minute later and asked "did you fart?" Immediately after I answer "yes", I begin to notice this horrible, noxious odor that's getting steadily stronger. Dh starts saying things like "did you have to wipe after that?" and "what crawled up your a$$ and died?" while I'm insisting, "No, that's not me! It wasn't that bad!" and of course, dh doesn't believe me. When rolling down the windows doesn't help, we finally realize we are smelling the sulphuric city of Rotorua. 13 years later, we still joke about that fart as the time I stunk up an entire city for 3 days.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Oh I know I did not mean to offend anyone - it makes me laugh because she always uses the excuse of having ate an entemann's chocolate donut - the one she had 2 years ago!!!!

I have on occassion experienced the walking fart myself!!!

I love that I started this thread. Everytime I want to laugh until I have tears, I just look up this thread.

Gas from 2 years ago..from an Entemann! LOL LOL....

 

[kat3668]

OMG this thread is too funny........ I got one to share!
I'm a preschool teacher and one day we have a set od parents looking to enroll thier child in my class... so in walks the direcxtor with these prospective parents and I get introduced etc.... While this is going on I'm trying to round the children up to sit in chairs so I can give them a snack
(not easy with a group of 9- 2 year olds) anyway I get them all sitiing down and the direct=or and parents are standing behind me, so I lean over the table to hand a child some crackers and PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT........
God my face turned 8 shades of red and if I could I would have crawled into a hole in the ground!!!!

Apologized and excused myself as fast as I could! LOL

 

[chell]

Kat did the family ever come back to sign their kid(s) up?

 

[mssocks]

Oh I know I did not mean to offend anyone - it makes me laugh because she always uses the excuse of having ate an entemann's chocolate donut - the one she had 2 years ago!!!!

I have on occassion experienced the walking fart myself!!!

No offense taken here! When I am not in a professional situation I enjoy a good traveling fart myself!

 

[geetey]

No offense taken here! When I am not in a professional situation I enjoy a good traveling fart myself!

THAT sentence has me

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I just found this thread and my chest hurts from laughing so hard. My DH and his dad are notorious for their stinkers. DH & I call them "stews" long story... Whenever something smells we just ask, "Ju stew?"

When I was pregnant with my DD, my DS was walking, but not talking and at a family dinner, I had a bad case of the expectant mommy toots so I went into my mom's kitchen and unleashed a fury. Of course, DS followed me in there and once we walked out, my mom came in the kitchen and says really loudly, "Uh Oh, Do I smell poopy pants?" No one would've had to know it was me, but I nearly collapsed laughing. I laughed so hard I actually was worried I'd hurt my fetus.

We just got back from WDW 3 days ago and on our trip, while getting off the tram at MGM, my DD starts yelling as loud as she can, "Oh P U Daddy stinks! Icky!! Stinky Daddy!! Daddy stinks." I look over at DH and he's acting like he doesn't even hear her so I figured, she is just being silly. She always accuses me of farting in public when I haven't. Once we got away from the enormous throng of people that also got off the tram at the same time he says, "Geez, I didn't think she'd hear me, but I forgot her head is right at the same height as my butt. I guess I'll have to be more careful."

 

[Alice28]

I am DYING!! Why didn't I open this thread sooner!

 

[mamaprincess]

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96781308/K=f....whproductions.com/fd/Funny/Jurrasic Fart.wmv

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Dh starts saying things like "did you have to wipe after that?"

 

[Disney1fan2002]

http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96781308/K=f....whproductions.com/fd/Funny/Jurrasic Fart.wmv

OK< that had me laughing so hard, I almost threw up.

 

[TKERBELL]

When I was pregnant with my DD, my DS was walking, but not talking and at a family dinner, I had a bad case of the expectant mommy toots so I went into my mom's kitchen and unleashed a fury. Of course, DS followed me in there and once we walked out, my mom came in the kitchen and says really loudly, "Uh Oh, Do I smell poopy pants?" No one would've had to know it was me, but I nearly collapsed laughing. I laughed so hard I actually was worried I'd hurt my fetus.

We just got back from WDW 3 days ago and on our trip, while getting off the tram at MGM, my DD starts yelling as loud as she can, "Oh P U Daddy stinks! Icky!! Stinky Daddy!! Daddy stinks." I look over at DH and he's acting like he doesn't even hear her so I figured, she is just being silly. She always accuses me of farting in public when I haven't. Once we got away from the enormous throng of people that also got off the tram at the same time he says, "Geez, I didn't think she'd hear me, but I forgot her head is right at the same height as my butt. I guess I'll have to be more careful."

OMG - I almost peed my pants.....

"but I forgot her head is right at the same height as my butt"

Stop!!! Stop!!! I can't take it anymore

 

[DisneyJules]

I have to join in on this, I have a good one.....not concerning myself but my dad. He was on his way to work one day in his work van and was having some stomach troubles. After releasing a sufficient amount of gas in his van, he stopped at a red stop light where he saw a fellow co-worker who then proceeded to wave him down. It was too late, he had made eye contact with him, the guy wanted a ride!,ahahaha The man gets into the car and after several seconds is overcome with the horrible stench and unrolls his window. My dad then blames the smell on having a dirty diaper in the back which he forgot to throw out ,ahahahaha

 

[Shel]

Another story from me - this one recent. This weekend my DD12 & my immediate family went on a weekend trip & one night stayed in a suite. My DD12 slept in a top bunk & my grandmother the bottom, my parents were in the king-sized bed, my brother slept on the pullout couch & I slept in a chair. Sometime thru the night I had a little gas & let it rip...it was one of those that you don't even have to wake up for to get the full release & pleasure from. Out of the darkness I heard my brother deadpan, "I heard that". It cracked me up because neither of us were fully awake.

 

[kat3668]

chell Kat did the family ever come back to sign their kid(s) up?

Yes they did thank god they had a sense of humor!!!

 

[floridafam]

I've got one. My Mom would kill me if she knew I was telling this.

My parents are very conservative, somewhat strict, etc. My Mom is big on everything being proper. She honestly won't admit that she farts.

My sister started dating this guy that gave everyone the creeps. So, about a month later she breaks it off.

My Mom is home cooking dinner and there is a knock at the door. It's 2 FBI agents and a US Marshal. They are looking for my sister's ex. They were standing in the hallway talking to my Mom.

My Mom was so nervous that she let one rip. She said they all looked at eachother in amazement and they were trying really hard to stay serious and not laugh.

I imagine they started laughing as soon as they left my Mom and Dad's house. I knew a lot of people in the Marshal's office and can only imagine them talking about my Mom and what she did.

 

[Alice28]

I just have to say again, everyone is cracking me up!

My family that I grew up in finds farting quite funny- don't know why, but we just have that silly sense of humor I guess. My husband does not- he thinks that is a private matter that is embarrassing. And this is from someone in the military! So, whenever I joke with the kids about farting, or something of like ilk, my DH just says, "You guys and your strange sense of humor" and shakes his head.

Two things that my kids have done recently that made me- my older DS wanted a whoopie cushion, so I got him a 4 pack of little ones I found at Target and my mom found him a regular sized one. He stacks them up to sit on them all at once and comments, "Hey, if I farted for real at the same time as the whoopie cushions, it would be an UNSTOPPABLE FART!"

My mom and I were laughing so hard we could not catch our breath!

And then, we watch Shrek too much; I think it's from Shrek anyway. If one of my boys rips a good one, I sarcastically say, "Nice!" Not pardon me or excuse you. Nope, I am teaching them great manners. So, now when they toot, I'll say "What do you say" and they say, "nice." And crack themselves up. And this is like when we're out in public, not just at home!!!!!!!

Oh, and the story where someone's boyfriend (now DH) would be the gentleman and open/close the car door for his girlfriend and rip one outside the car- yeah, my DH did that too when we were dating. All I could do not to BUST UP laughing!