Ok so it's time to ask for help...I need help.

[Magic Mom]

No taking out loans to pay off this debt. I have a lot of credit card debt but it's not from me shopping like a mad woman - some of it has been used to pay the bills because cash was tight. I have looked at the Dave R forms and downloaded them (the budget ones) and I plugged in my numbers and honestly where I am dying is the payments for the CC's ($1035 a month on 4 cards) and groceries!!!! Oh my! I have been clipping coupons for the last month and I have broken out dog food and beauty/laundry supplies so I know how much to spend on those things. The grocery budget is out of control!!!!

I have to say we don't eat out unless it's McDonalds (there are 5 of us so to spend $25 on that is average) or pizza ($5 crappy pizza at Ceasers). We aren't going to Outback for steak or anything. I don't shop for clothes too much and if I do I pay cash but then that makes things tight to pay those darn CC's. There is no wiggle room in our budget at all. Here are some of our bills:
Electric - $82 bucks a month
Garbage - $22 bucks a month
CC's - $1035 a month
Groceries - $range 450 - 700 a month
Dish - $45 a month
Car Ins - $381 a month

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am shopping around for the car ins. Michigan has one of the highest ins rates because of no fault soooooo AND my employer won't pay my medical bills if I am in an auto accident SO I have to help pay for my health insurance through my employer and pay for a medical rider on my auto policy - how about that for lousey!!!!

If I could snowball this on my own by not buying that coffee (which I don't buy anyway) I would but that is peas and carrots compared to the bigger picture of not having enough money at the end of the month once all the basic necessities and bills are paid for. Please don't suggest we sell our home either since in Michigan no homes are selling except the forclosed ones or the short saled ones. I am not anywhere near "needing" to walk out on my home, sell it or otherwise. That I won't do.

Can you get a second job for a few months to pay some off? My friend waits tables threee nights a week at Outback. She makes a couple of hundred a week give or take. It has really helped pay her CC's down. It would be a hardship, but it is temporary and would certainly help.

 

[tar heel]

I'm guessing the car insurance cost issue has to do with a young driver. Have you considered having him not drive? I know that's extreme, but so is not being able to make minimum payments on your bills. Alternatively, make him responsible for his part of the insurance, which is probably half the bill.

 

[SandrA9810]

some companies require any one of driving age to be listed on the insurance, even if they aren't driving. I could see how a teenage boy could raise rates that high. But you might also want to shop around to other policies.

When we were both working and making way more than enough to cover all the bills and then some. I never worried about a budget. When i stopped working, i started crunching numbers BIG time. It was hard to adjust to the new budget, but i knew what had to be done. I kept the CC calling at bay and made sure they were paid first.

If i get on the computer (still waiting for AT&T to connect the lines here), i'll send you a PM with my budget sheet. It was just a simple excel sheet. And it might make you wonder how i did it. Anything can be done if you put your mind to it.

We spent a good 3years of racking up debt, some times because we needed a tank of gas, sometimes for a weekend trip to disney.
When we both started working with good paychecks. We set in perspective of what we needed and what we wanted. And that made it a lot easier to pay off the CC because we had so much extra money.
When the income got slashed in half, i knew we couldn't live like the way we were before. Living on CC to buy food and gas.
I'm just glad it only took me like 5yrs to learn this and not a lifetime.

 

[bsusanmb]

I called and set up an appointment for next week at Greenpath (they are nonprofit).

I just want to get the ball rolling and I want out from under this bus! I think that once I have some peace with this then maybe I can have peace from other things in my life. After all there is a reason we spend money we don't have right?! At least for me there is.

One really horrible aspect of all of this is that my dh doesn't do the finances in our house, I do, and he has an idea of where we stand financially - he just doesn't know 100%. I feel so bad about that.. but part of it is he hasn't taken an active role in it even though he complains about it - my dh isn't a take the bull by the horns kinda guy and if he doesn't push, I don't budge. Awful. Makes me sad for all of this mess. I sure hope that once we meet next week he and I can begin to make the changes to share the burden becuase right now it's all on me and I can't share it because then I have admitted defeat. I know that's crazy but it is what it is. I have failed myself and I have failed my dh and my family by letting this debt take us over.

Thanks for listening you guys. It helps me since I don't have anyone else who would understand where I am coming from.

Michelle

Congratulations, Michelle. You will be so happy you did this. Once I did, I didn't feel the stress 24/7 worrying about something going wrong and how was I going to pay for it when my cc's were maxed out and I couldn't pay anything but the minimum. I too take care of all the finances, DH wants no part of it, and if I were to die tomorrow, i don't know what he would do....hopefully all will be paid off by the time i die and he will only have to worry about the mortgage...which will be paid off with our mortgage insurance! LOL...at any rate, best wishes to you and I admire you for sharing. No one can understand unless they have been there...and we are not alone. Blessings.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Actually my car insurance issues aren't because of a young driver - he only just got his permit a week ago. We have 3 vehicles insured and they are all full coverage. I just took my car down to PL/PD so that did cut our costs down. Also since we are still paying on 1 car - it has to have full coverage and the other car is worth alot and if I put only PL/PD on it - we would lose our butts on it as we can't afford to replace it. It is our big family vehicle (fully paid for). And again - Michigan is one of the states with very high car insurance rates.

 

[vicki_c]

We cut back on EVERYTHING (called cellphone, home phone, cable, trash, etc.), plus started a budget. The software program I found is called www.ynab.com (You Need A Budget), it costs $$ (less when I bought it), but what I love about it is that one of the features of the program is that it helps you to save up a "buffer", so that eventually you are able to live off of LAST month's income. No more overspending (plus, you have a buffer of one month's living if God forbid you have a crisis). We've been able to put away money towards an emergency fund so that if either one of us loses our jobs, we'd be able to stay out of debt while looking for a new job.

That's so funny - I sent the OP a PM recommending YNAB as well!

 

[Ava]

I'm guessing the car insurance cost issue has to do with a young driver. Have you considered having him not drive? I know that's extreme, but so is not being able to make minimum payments on your bills. Alternatively, make him responsible for his part of the insurance, which is probably half the bill.

Also inquire about any discounts you might be eligible for for him - a lot of insurance companies will give a "good student" discount on young drivers who maintain a certain grade average. I know my dad got this for me when I was a teen, he just had to send in a copy of my report card to the insurance co.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Congratulations, Michelle. You will be so happy you did this. Once I did, I didn't feel the stress 24/7 worrying about something going wrong and how was I going to pay for it when my cc's were maxed out and I couldn't pay anything but the minimum. I too take care of all the finances, DH wants no part of it, and if I were to die tomorrow, i don't know what he would do....hopefully all will be paid off by the time i die and he will only have to worry about the mortgage...which will be paid off with our mortgage insurance! LOL...at any rate, best wishes to you and I admire you for sharing. No one can understand unless they have been there...and we are not alone. Blessings.

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and your words of encouragement! It really does help me!!

 

[crisi]

Why do you have three cars? And you may not want to let your teen get his license, that will send your insurance rates up. Its tough, but most of my friends grew up in constrained financial circumstances - only a few of us got our licenses before eighteen because most of our parents couldn't afford the insurance.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Why do you have three cars? And you may not want to let your teen get his license, that will send your insurance rates up. Its tough, but most of my friends grew up in constrained financial circumstances - only a few of us got our licenses before eighteen because most of our parents couldn't afford the insurance.

My car is 6 years old with 185,000 miles on it (fully paid for).
My dh's car is 4 years old with 100,000 miles on it (still owe 1 more year).
The third car is a SUV that fits the 5 of us plus the dog and we only drive it when we go places as a family and we use it for camping and going up north in to my in-laws cottage. Again this vehicle is fully paid for as well and is 8 years old.

 

[crisi]

My car is 6 years old with 185,000 miles on it (fully paid for).
My dh's car is 4 years old with 100,000 miles on it (still owe 1 more year).
The third car is a SUV that fits the 5 of us plus the dog and we only drive it when we go places as a family and we use it for camping and going up north in to my in-laws cottage. Again this vehicle is fully paid for as well and is 8 years old.

So sell one and drive the SUV. Your insurance will go down, you'll still have the SUV for weekends - your gas costs will probably go up, but probably not as much as the insurance.

Or sell both yours and the SUV and buy a car that fits all of you for the cottage with fewer miles - once again, you won't be insuring three cars - and you'll replace two that frankly are going to put you behind the eight ball with repairs sooner or later for one that might have a little more life in it.

Another thing, you might want to cut the trips to the cottage anyway if its any distance. I know we put $60 in the tank when we go to a friends cabin.

 

[Good Morning Dewdrop]

I have to ditto the sell one of the cars suggestion. It will bring you in some money (from the sale) and no doubt save you money on insurance. I know it's tough but once you get out from under the debt it will all be worth it.

Dh and I shared one car for 15 years because that was what we could afford - one car, one insurance. Now we have 2 cars and it's really nice but if we hit a big financial crisis - trust me - one car would go.

 

[LovableGluttons]

OP, have you tried going to the grocery store with cash only? Not a check, not a debit card, but cash and a calculator?

Once you put staples like bread, milk, eggs, etc, you add things for your menus. Once you hit your $100, you are done. If you have enough leftover once you get the hang of it, you can stock up on great deals you find on things like meat. Then you can plan your menus aroudn what you already have on hand.

I budget $100 a week for a family of four, a dog, and a cat. I'm a little obsessive about this as my goal each week is to use enough in coupons to knock even that $100 down as low as I can. I also watch for rebate forms on things I would buy anyway.

All the extra goes to my family's entertainment fund. We already budget a certain amount each month towards that, but the extra makes for bigger vacations. I put our rebate checks in there too. We have a trip to Hawaii in the works for 2011 and a trip to Italy we're working on for 2013.

Our sales tax here in Florida is almost 8%, but not all groceries are taxable. I add 8% to my grocery totals each time I put something in my cart. I go once a week and that's it.

Putting used dvds and video games up on Ebay is a great way to score some extra cash too. My son's Fallout3 game went for almost $40! He had already played it and wasn't interested in it any more. It was used!

If your starting price for anything you list is 99 cents or less, eBay has not been charging me a listing fee, just a final value and the PayPal fees. It really adds up fast.

Our only debt is our mortgage. We drive older cars and saved for our two kids to go to a state university for 4 years. In Florida we have a Bright Futures scholarship that is not based on financial need. If my kids get their tuition covered at all through that, then they can use the remaining tuition we have saved for grad school or towards a downpayment on their first home, even for a nest egg.

The four of us get spending money each week. Once we spend it, it is gone. We also budget gasoline. We have to walk into the gas station and pay in cash before we pump.

Those little things make us accountable.

As a family, we have a financial incentive to bring our water and electric bill down. Anytime the bill comes in less than budgeted, we get to split the savings. Some months that comes to enough for a trip to Typhoon Lagoon and lunch there so we don't have to brown bag it.

OP, I just wanted to share weird, goofy things my family does. I know that we are unusual compared to many of our friends and family. DH and I have always had a certain mistrust towards credit cards. Secured debt seems reasonable to us. Despite being two professionals, we drive older cars, use older cell phones, and bargain shop for clothing.

On a side note, one of the things DH and I do is save for our retirement. We have a set figure we'd like to have coming in each month to live on. No relying on Social Security for us. We figured out how much we'd have to save each month to hit that figure by a certain age so that we could live off the interest if we can find a good investment vehicle that pays an average of 4% apr.

I hope by sharing some of the quirky things my family does, you feel support for your journey. I also hope you post updates and let us know how it is going!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Thanks loveable for sharing your tips with me. It is helpful, truly!

To those that suggest selling a car - no can do. Why? Because I drive 84 miles everyday to/from work and my dh drives 90 miles everday to/from work. My dh's car is a little economy car that gets 32 mpg. My car gets 24mpg and the SUV is a fuel guzzler - Excursion - that is diesel and diesel is high - and it has 160,000 miles on it. Doesn't make any sense to me to sell something that gets good/decent gas mileage and drive something everyday that doesn't. We won't get anything for our high mileage cars here in Michigan since nothing is selling because no one is working. We need our more fule effecient cars for everyday. Sorry.

I am going through the basement this weekend and getting stuff together for a yard sale. I don't have a water bill as we are rural and have a well. I don't have internet at home either - so no money being spent on that.

I have a freezer full of beef - steaks, burger, roasts, stew meat, you name it so all I have to buy is chicken and pork when I go to the store. What kills my grocery budget is junk I guess.

Here is my total expenses for a month so maybe you can help me further:

Mortgage - $1125
Eq loan (not line of credit) - $294
Taxes & Hom. ins - escrowed
Elect - $82
Water - $0.0
Gas - $0.0 (have a wood boiler)
Cell - $171
Landline - $90 (going to cancel it)
Trash - $25- (pay a co. to pic up since we are rural)
Cable (DISH) - $47
Grocery - $400-700 - includes dog food, laundry supp. & health/beauty supp.
Car Pymt - $193
Gasoline - $480
Car Ins - $381
CC pymts - $1035
Healthcare is automatically deducted from paycheck as well as money put into a healthsavings account to pay for deduct. & copayments.

Take home is $4382 a month.

There you have it - all of it.

 

[minnie1928]

To me the cell bill looks high, but then again I think they all look high. Assuming you aren't locked into contracts, could you go prepaid? If not on all of them, maybe some? I spend less than $100/year (way less) for my prepaid.

$400-700 for groceries - that's a pretty big swing. Do you use coupons? Do you have a CVS nearby? If so, you can knock out all your Health and Beauty aids costs by working the CVS extrabucks program. I haven't paid for toothpaste/deodorant/shampoo/bodywash in years. Also, make your own cleaners and laundry detergent to save a bundle. It's better for you too!

You've got tons of meat, but that doesn't mean that you have to eat a lot of it at each meal. Make it last by making the meat the side dish in the meal. I've found that where I used to make 1lb of beef with sauce for spaghetti, I can easily make it with .75lb and no one notices.

If I add up all that you've listed (except groceries) I estimate that you have $459 left to cover groceries and everything you haven't listed (clothing, meds).

Can you car pool with a coworker? I know you live far away, but even if they met you half way and you parked your car there...that would substantially cut your gas costs.

 

[crisi]

Thanks loveable for sharing your tips with me. It is helpful, truly!

To those that suggest selling a car - no can do. Why? Because I drive 84 miles everyday to/from work and my dh drives 90 miles everday to/from work. My dh's car is a little economy car that gets 32 mpg. My car gets 24mpg and the SUV is a fuel guzzler - Excursion - that is diesel and diesel is high - and it has 160,000 miles on it. Doesn't make any sense to me to sell something that gets good/decent gas mileage and drive something everyday that doesn't. We won't get anything for our high mileage cars here in Michigan since nothing is selling because no one is working. We need our more fule effecient cars for everyday. Sorry.

How about you sell the SUV and take two cars when you need to get the whole family going somewhere? That's how we get around. The insurance needs to go down - it doesn't matter what you get for the SUV, you just don't want to be paying insurance on it.

 

[Karenj2]

Karen,
Where ya been!? I've missed seeing your YNAB recommendations for a while. I'm guessing the new baby has something to do with your absense... (Congrats!)

Am I THAT much of a broken record??? Sorry.

Yup, my new baby is occupying my time , plus we're not going to disney this year , so I've been trying to avoid this site...

 

[minnie1928]

Am I THAT much of a broken record??? Sorry.

Yup, my new baby is occupying my time , plus we're not going to disney this year , so I've been trying to avoid this site...

Nah...It's just you and I seemed to comment on a lot of the same threads, so I began to expect seeing you. And then you disappeared on me!

Good to have you back!

 

[minnie1928]

How about you sell the SUV and take two cars when you need to get the whole family going somewhere? That's how we get around. The insurance needs to go down - it doesn't matter what you get for the SUV, you just don't want to be paying insurance on it.

Here's an idea...why not drop the registration for the SUV and then drop the insurance? Drive just the 2 cars, as needed. You say that the SUV won't sell for much, and that could be true, but this way you lower the car insurance without having to get rid of the vehicle. It can wait until times are better financially, then you can add it back.

 

[MEM]

You've got tons of meat, but that doesn't mean that you have to eat a lot of it at each meal. Make it last by making the meat the side dish in the meal. I've found that where I used to make 1lb of beef with sauce for spaghetti, I can easily make it with .75lb and no one notices.

I was thinking along the same lines. I can understand that the OP would not want to eat beef every night or ingest that much saturated fat every night, but by making the beef a condiment and alternating nights of vegetarian meals, that meat could stretch a long way.