Maybe my questions was?
How is anyone on this boards going to know what's best for your and your family?
How is anyone going to know what is special or important to your family and your best friend and her daughter?
What is going to make this trip magical for your friends and your family?
How much are your and your best friend willing to spend on food? Lot of table service or only counter service.
The only way to do this is to involve your family and friends in the planning. I am sure they would love to have a say in where to dine, what day to swim, what parades to watch if any, or what shows to see and at what times.
My DD is nine years old and I did most of the planning for our trip May 3 - 10. But it became apparent during the course, that I should involve her ALOT MORE in the planning for our next trip.
Some of her suggestions included:
1) No autograph books next time just pictures.
2) Keep the room on the 4th floor but a building closer to the food court.
3) Change the order of the parks. She wants to do AK first to get the smell out of the way. Here favorite park but what did she expect with animals

!!!!
4) Only direct flights - we changed planes coming back MSP to DET DET to MSP. Our flight was delays in DET due to fuel gauge problems and we sat on that plane for a long time. However, we wanted them to fix the problems but it was a long flight.
5) SuperShuttle on the way to airport - Taxi on the way back!
6) No priority breakfast seatings before 9:00 a.m. We had a 8:15 a.m. seating. She had to get really early to make that Princess Storybook breakfast. Needed cushion time to get to EPCOT from Pop and to walk through future world to Norway in World Showcase!
7) Loved the Nike Strappruners and lose the tennis shoes.
8) No plastic princess bookbag - it made her back sweat in the hot weather.
9) Get a refrigerator in the room.
10) Let her choose restaurants as well.
11) Here number #1 - NO more (2:00 a.m.) wake up we are going to Disney surprises. She wants to know at least one week prior so she can have a say in what I put in the suit case. She was happy with my choices but would have change a few outfits. The DIVA lives from me to her!
All of the people in your group are old enough to make these decisions. Part of the experience of going to Disney is the planning.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do and have a great trip!