Ok ~ I am irritated

anewvance

<font color=red>Who needs a birthday for birthday
Joined
Feb 8, 2001
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I'm a little irritated and just need to vent so I apologize in advance. Can't go to anyone else with this, i'm sorry!

As some of you might know from some of my past posts, my grandma is a over compulsive cleaner. She's told me a number of times that I am a bad housewife and my house is horrible, ect. And i've said it's not horrible.. it's lived in. It's not dirty or anything, it's just cluttered. And I do try my best, but especially after the car accident, I am still not moving so well.

A few times in the past when we've gone on vacation, my grandma who has a key for emergencies, came into my house and "cleaned" it. I get irritated because I hear about it from all my relatives and get reemed by her too and I end up feeling horrible. I do appreciate the thought but if I wanted her to do it, i'd ask... kwim?

So this time, when we were going to Ireland, we made sure she did not have a key to our house... no one had one. Lane took his with us, I had mine in a drawer in my house and my grandma had been blaming me for months for taking her spare and she did NOT have it. So we were all good.

The 2nd day in Ireland we call home and find out she's in our house cleaning it. We were like WTH? So we get home and NOTHING is in it's place. I'm so irritated. I can't find anything. They threw away 3/4 of our plastic cups I guess thinking "if we get rid of all their cups, they'd do dishes more often". We put dishes in the washer every night but don't run the wash but 3 times a week or so. So those are gone... all the baby's bottles and sippy cups are gone, still haven't found out why!

She got my MIL involved this time and she had at it in our living room. I had purposely left my free ticket from Universal Studios on the table next to the couch. It was a free ticket to Universal Studios and other entries for $35 each. The plan was to take my little sister up there next weekend. She took it upon herself to throw it away! She nor my grandma can't understand why I am upset about this. Hello! It was a FREE TICKET!!! She also threw away 2 ebay payments and a post office receipt that had delivery confirmation numbers that I needed on it.

Everything that I had in a nice neat bin under the table on a shelf is gone... I asked where the bin was and it's not where she "thought" she put it. It had stuff I NEEDED in it, like baby balmex and my tape measure for ebay listings and my pens and a number of other things. I keep having to call her or my grandma to ask where everything is. I'm so annoyed!

She also proudly told me she took 3 bags of clothes to Goodwill for me. Umm, I KNOW she knows that I ebay.. it's my source of income. Anything I buy for the kids I usually end up selling and make good money on because I buy sale racks and all from Gymboree and sell it for more after they've grown out of it then what I bought it for. So why would I be impressed that she just gave it away to Goodwill?????? I spent good money on that stuff and had no say on whether or not to throw it away.

And they think I should be all grateful and not be complaining in the least. I didn't INVITE them into my house while I was gone. I didn't ASK them to clean my house. And I didn't ALLOW them to throw away thing that I need.

Should I just get over it? My plans (my birthday present to MYSELF) are now ruined because she threw that free ticket away. I guess that's what I'm most teeved about.

Thanks for letting me vent... ugh.
 
I would change my locks. I could understand if they were helping you out, but if you've made it clear that you do not want them cleaning your house, I would be ticked, too. I would not want anyone going through my stuff.
 
No you should not just get over it! I would be worse than angry, oh man this just makes me steam thinking about it!

Change all the locks and don't give ANYONE a key! Bascially they broke and entered and stole from you (well not really since they got in somehow, I am assuming it wasn't forced entry).

MAN!
 
:furious: I would be furious! How the heck did they get in your house? Did they break in? And the donations to Goodwill? OMG! They gave away your income!!! :furious: I'm mad with you!
 

Goodness, you should be irritated. If they wanted to do all that they could have put everything they thought they should get rid of in one place until you got back to let you go through it and decide for yourself. Really, I don't think they should have even done that. It is one thing to help out and straighten up for someone and clean some but you just don't go through their stuff.
 
I agree with change the locks and someone owes you a theme park ticket and the other things.

btw-loved the Ireland pics
 
My grandma is a compulsive cleaner too, but has better things to worry about than my house, LOL :rotfl2: They had no right to go through your things!!!!! Did you ask where they got the key? I would figure out how much they cost you in getting rid of your stuff and "bill" them. That ought to make them think twice next time. ;)
 
Change the locks- NOW.
 
OMG! That is terrible!!!

You could have paid a housekeeper for 6 months for all the money they cost you!!!

That is almost criminal.

I'm so sorry!
 
That's what I said to dh, that if they weren't family, they basically did break in and stole from me!!!

As for owing me a ticket, I would never ever get it from them. I'm trying to be all sweet to my MIL in emails trying to figure out where it went but the underlying meaning is clear... it was a free ticket and YOU threw it away and I am mad about it.

I have no idea how they got in, they didn't break in. They got a key, so I would have to assume they found the missing spare at some point. But awfully ironic they found it the day after we left for Ireland. My dh laughed at the idea of changing the locks so I guess that's out of the question?

My MIL hasn't outright said it but I think i'm not getting anything from her for my birthday this year... she pretty much said her gift of cleaning my house was my birthday present. Which is a bummer because I would have loved for her to send me $20 or something and I would email back "Thanks, now all I need is another $40 to replace the Universal ticket YOU threw away".
 
FIRST OF ALL, OP....your children are BEAUTIFUL! You are truly blessed!

Now about the house....ugh....I would be so upset and hurt at the same time.
They INVADED your space. How is it so many family members seem to agree it is ok that they are in your house cleaning OR even discussing your habits?

I would say some prayers for THEM. Your GRAM seems like a control freak.

YUP...change the locks....get a GUARD dog....have a SECURITY SYSTEM....!!

Throwing away those receipts not to mention the FREE TIX is :furious: ...seems like a total INVASION of you and your families PRIVACY!!!

YUP CHANGE THOSE LOCKS AND SOON!!!
 
I just think if you added up everything they cost you, they might see the error of their ways. "Might" is a key word, but to me, it would be worth a try. (I wouldn't expect to actually get the money, just to prove a point)If they were really just trying to do something nice for you, they would see that they really hurt you and it would stop. If they were doing it to be manipulative, then they won't care that they hurt you and you need to change the locks.
 
Okay, so if changing the locks is out, find the spare that SOMEONE has. When you visit dear old gramma, search her ring of keys, snoop in her kitchen drawers and etc. After all, she went through your house in DETAIL, so now you get to go through hers to find a key... Same for your MIL.
 
I think you need to tell your dh that you are not kidding, and that you want the locks changed. That was wrong of your grandmother to do that and your MIL, too, without your permission, and especially because they knew you didn't want them to go in.
 
Who cares what DH says...just call the locksmith and get the locks changed and hand him his new one. Its your house too.

I agree with all who posted about the invasion of privacy. But the part that really bugs me is the implied critiscm, like you are incapable of taking care of your own family. This undermining of your parenting, lifestyle and cleaning decisions is just unacceptable. I cannot imagine them throwing your THINGS away. It is maybe acceptable if it is papers or something that looks like garbage, but your THINGS! OMG! I have things in my bedroom that I would be mortified if anyone else saw. Nothing that racy, but my grandma would sure think so. I would not want her going through my room for any reason.

And then to call that a "birthday present"??? Who do these people think they are? You somehow need to convey this to them, so that this does not happen again. I would make it very clear that this is not acceptable to you and that you expect it to never happen again.
 
Changing locks is fairly easy to do, even for those who are fairly NOT handy.

Good Luck!
 
PM me the details of when you are going and I'll take care of your ticket issue.
 
That's awful. I'd be really mad. Your grandma sounds like she is truly OCD and needs some help :confused3. She probably genuinely thinks she's being nice, but I wonder what other weird stuff she does.

But. . .you do kind of sound like you might be a packrat and that your house could really appear messy?? It might drive me crazy if I had to come over. I don't like clutter or messiness. But I wouldn't break in and clean it underhandedly while you were away.

Did they offer to pay for the Universal tickets?
 
Okay - my first reaction (to the first sentence or two) was "Why is this person complaining about someone cleaning her house. Wish someone would clean mine."

And THEN I kept reading - I got furious for you. This was not "cleaning" your house. I don't know what I would call it - it is approaching vandalism.

I moved in with my Dad five years ago. He loves to reorganize things. I was FURIOUS when he decided to reorganize my desk while I was gone. He threw away rebate stuff that I was ready to mail in.

I am pretty laid back and accept a lot, but I went ballistic over this. I will say that he has not touched my desk since.

Maybe at some point you are going to have to yell and scream at them (can't believe I am writing this as this is so NOT my style) to get their attention.
 


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