I would say the really depends on what you're looking for with your dinner. Do you really want the dinner show? If so, do the Spirit of Aloha dinner. I prefer O'hana's food and dining atmosphere over the dinner show. The dinner show, while enteraining, is very dark, and as a family, we didn't socialize much. We pretty much ate the food (it was good) and watched the show. At O'hana, we talked, relaxed, enjoyed the food, and participated in the coconut rolling contest and hula lessons. If you're dining when Wishes is going on, you can see the show (with a window seat) and the music is piped in.
... I just saw you have a 2 yo. I would probably not bring my 2 yo. All kids are different, but my son would not have been happy there for the entire show. Seating is crowded and not much room to stretch your legs or move about.
My choice would be O'hana! The show I've done once and don't need to do again! Good luck!