oh what am I gonna do?? Vaca & Ex problem

[bigsis1970]

Ok so my grand plan of being outta town when my Ex gets remarried is causing a bit of trouble.. the wedding is 10/1 -- I leave 9-29 get home late on 10-2 .. what's the problem -- My kids have no place to go at the moment, they just got around to asking me (they should have had this figured out MONTHS ago in my opinion) 9 days before the silly thing -- what did they think I was just gonna sit home -- if I can come and pick up the kids after the reception!! well I am going to be gone - so I say NO I am going to out of town till late on Sunday evening . So I then say well they will just have to go home with Ex's parents but NO can't do that as they will be coming to the wedding then heading back up to the local fair for the week.. so then its like well maybe one of ex's sisters can take them home and then she say oh well I guess we will have to figure out something cause we (meaning her and ex) are leaving right from the reception for a few days outta town too!

SO now I am feeling badly that I wanted/NEED to get away for that weekend and I have no clue where my children will end up !!!! this sure is a 7 day away bubble breaker.

Should I offer to find someone or let them deal with it (it is his week so under normal guidelines its your week you find someone if you need to do something kidless!)

Thanks for any input.. Michelle

 

[RadioFanatic]

how do your kids feel about things? I would keep updated on what your ex does with them but you shouldn't have to deal with their wedding issues - and to ask you to pick them up from the reception place is absolutely unbelievable! do you have friends or family in the area that could help you out so you wouldn't have to worry? good luck!

 

[twinklebug]

I would say this is your ex's problem EXCEPT that your kids are essentially little pieces of your heart and you need to make sure they're taken care of.

Would it be possible that your kids could leave the reception early and sleep over some friend's houses for the one night?

 

[SleepyMom]

I would stick to your guns and let them figure it out, don't make any offer to change your plans.

I could see if they had included you in their plans earlier and asked months ago if you would be able to have the kids while they went out of town, but not on such short notice. If you didn't have plans, it would be different, but you did make plans so if I were you I would stick with them.

They made their wedding plans during one of their "kid weeks", they need to be the ones to figure it out. JMHO

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Maybe you could ask around without telling your EX that you are doing so. Then, if you find someone to take care of them you can tell him. Just a thought because I would be worried about where my kids would end up.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

THEY WANT YOU TO PICK THE KIDS UP FROM THE WEDDING RECEPTION?!!!!
Gee, do you think they might fix a small plate of leftovers for you to take home also? (please read heavy sarcasm there).

You know, there is kind and then there is and then there is

"I am a doormat, please don't stomp too hard or wear golf cleats as you and the new wife walk right over my body."

Tell your Ex that part of planning a trip without kids is finding a safe and happy place for the kids to go. I guess they could always delay the honeymoon until the kids are back with you if nothing else works out for them.

Go on your trip and have a great time.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Where were the kids going to go before they asked? Can the people they are staying with while you are out of town pick them up?

Or was the "ex" supposed to plan that and did not and told you last minute?

 

[bigsis1970]

Thanks guys -- we do share mutual friends (she was my best friend since we were like 8 and 7 and she married his best friend that he had for years and lucky them get to be friends with me, her and him) and I did mention it to my friend that she might be asked to take my kids home - she was fine with it and would do it in a heart beat for me - she understands my need to leave the state!! I wanted to make sure I wasn't losing my marbles over being shocked that i was even asked to do it-- oh you will love this my ex wasn't the one asking she asked me !!! oh add insult to injury.


I assumed the kids would be with his parents - I think they assumed I would be available ya know just hanging around . It was his weekend so my going away isn't unusual I think he was supposed to ask me sooner and just didn't so its just turning out to be inconvient for them as I can't take them back earlier then normal.

 

[Mysteria]

I would let him deal with it. Although personally I couldn't leave without knowing they were in good hands. So I'd have a back up plan that he doesn't need to know you have. Hope it all works out for you.

Myst

 

[malibuconlee]

Let him figure it out. That's part of being a parent. But INSIST on knowing what their plans are and where the kids will be before leaving. They need to know what the schedule is.

How unbelieveably rude of them not to figure this out before now. Good luck and have a great trip!!!

 

[EthansMom]

It was his weekend

its just turning out to be inconvient for them

It's your ex's weekend. Your kids should ask him what is going to happen. You aren't responsible for their care that weekend.

I might be saying something different if your kids were younger, but since they are older and can handle a bit of change and responsiblity, you should tell them to talk to their dad about it.

Under no circumstances are we going to let you even consider cancelling your trip to cover your ex's sorry butt.

 

[newholidayx2]

Michelle - you will be going on vacation that weekend!
Do you want me to watch the kids?

 

[bigsis1970]

Barb how wonderfully nice of you.. and the rest of you are GREAT too... LY/MI to quote Delswife !!!! I have a back up plan.. in addition to the friend in my post above , My sisters girlfriend of 3 years has offered to take them in case I have to save the day (she wasn't going to be doing anything she said cause my sister would be gone with me!) again Thank You so much... Michelle

Oh and I will know by the time I leave next Thursday who they will be staying with on that Sat night !