Oh the guilt!

[Runnergal]

I have a 2yo and while he loves Disney (we were there in nov, when he had just turned 2), it is a totally different vacation with just a 5yo. He is not a kid who sits well at restaurants, and we like to enjoy nice dinners, so it ended up that either dh or I was always walking around with him during a meal. Don't feel guilty. He will have a wonderful time with grandma. You are so lucky to have a family member who is willing to keep him while you enjoy a special trip with your older son. He will get his turn too one day.

 

[capeseal]

We've taken both kids at age 2 and they had a blast.

Maybe I'm weird and over thinking things but I have never loved the idea of a milestone birthday trip for a child. I think it is a lovely idea in theory but, what if in three years when it is DS 2's time you can't make it back to Disney? Then, for the past three years, DS1 has been talking about his big 5th birthday trip to Disney and how is little brother going to feel? Now, that doesn't mean I don't think you should go for a trip during the time frame in which your oldest turns 5. I simply wouldn't frame it as a 5th birthday trip to Disney but a family vacation during which he happens to be turning 5. His day can be a special one with cake and his choice of restaurant and park but the trip can be about the rest of the family too. I just think it puts less pressure on you later...

And, I guess that puts me in the "I'd take little brother" camp. I also don't judge or think you should feel crushing guilt if you decide to leave him home because I'm sure he will have a wonderful time with your MIL. I simply think that, when possible, it is best to take all kids on a family vacation. And your MIL sounds awesome that she would either take him while you go or go with you to help with the kids. I have loved our trips where we went with family because it meant that DH and I had a little flexibility to have time together without the kids or to take one child to do something for a few hours. I have also treasured the trips we take as a family of 4…I'm no help in the decision to take your MIL or have her stay home, I guess

 

[GigiDisneyfreak]

I think this is only a decision you can make. You are going to find people who are going to tell you how easy a 2 year old is in WDW and others are going to tell you how awful it is. You know your child best and whether or not they can handle it. I have taken my children when they were that young or even younger for me it was easy. The only thing I can offer is if you are already feeling guilty before you have left, how are you going to feel when you finally get there?

 

[snoopy5386]

He would need to be on every dining reservation. You can't just show up with an extra person at meals. Every body including infants held in laps needs to be on the dining reservations.

I wouldn't sweat this one at all. Since they would be a party of 3 without their youngest and a table for 3 doesn't exist, they'll be seated at a 4-top. If they bring their youngest he'll just get that 4th seat.

 

[RachaelA]

I wouldn't sweat this one at all. Since they would be a party of 3 without their youngest and a table for 3 doesn't exist, they'll be seated at a 4-top. If they bring their youngest he'll just get that 4th seat.

They are restaurants that have tables for 3 where it's pushed against a wall. We were seated at at least 2 of those on our last trip with 3 people.

 

[luvmy2babies]

I wish you the best with your decision.

There is a bit of an age different between my 2 children. My son was born when my daughter was almost 7.

My son is 4 and will be taking his 4th trip in May. Our first tirp My daughter was 7 and he was 10 months old. I started going to restaurants with them each week once I decided to do it so ds would be used to going to them.

We went back to Florida the following year for a Sea World trip (we did spend 1 day at MK) when he was 21 months.

Next trip in 2012, he was 2.5. We spent a week and a half there. These were all airplane rides.

Last summer he was 3 and we drove from here. I'm alone with them so I split the drive and we stayed 8 days.

We travel other places too. I have always liked to travel so I started each child traveling as early as possible.

So it is doable unless you have a child that just doesn't travel well at all. Fortunately both of mine are good travelers.

Whenever this comes up, I always ask a question. Does the older child have any feelings regarding his brother staying home? I always ask this because my daughter was livid when she found out later people told me I should leave ds behind for our first trip. The trip was a surprise, but she found out later people had suggested it because of things ds couldn't ride. In that regard my situation is different as my daughter has no interest in the big rides. My mother jokingly suggested she keep ds before another trip and she was adament he could not be left behind.

I always ask this because people say they feel their older child needs the alone time, but while they probably do, Disney may or may not be the place they want it. They could possibly prefer to share Disney with their sibling.

And you sure can't beat the price. I miss those days.

 

[Angel Ariel]

I wouldn't sweat this one at all. Since they would be a party of 3 without their youngest and a table for 3 doesn't exist, they'll be seated at a 4-top. If they bring their youngest he'll just get that 4th seat.

Disney needs to know the number of people in the restaurant for fire code/capacity reasons. If you bring someone with you who is not on the reservation, even if it is an infant, you may not be seated for your ADR on time (depending on how full the restaurant is at the time).

Personally, it's not a chance i'd want to take

 

[Tortuga Rob]

We have taken all of our kids to Disney at young ages. First born @ 3, the other 2 @ 2. That said, it depends on what your plans are and that decision is a personal one as you know your kids best. We tend to hit the parks early and come back early afternoon for swims (youngest would nap) and even today still come back early afternoon just to give all a break and then head back late afternoon/dinner time. Don't feel guilty, if you want a special trip with your 5 yr old then do it. Best of luck on your decision.

 

[bbak3030]

Personally I would never leave my youngest behind. There is a lot for a 2 year old to do in DW. We took my youngest when she was 18 months old and she enjoyed it.

 

[bushdianee]

Just a thought, you know that your 2yo won't remember the trip but think of the memories you would making or missing out on. Also how does the older child feel about leaving/taking his brother? Of course the decision shouldn't be left up to him but he might have a strong opinion.

 

[mjkacmom]

All of mine have been left at home, at one point, as babies and toddlers. I've been saving up for the therapy they will need when they look at photos the're not in... Seriously, they don't care - at all! They don't remember!

I only took a 2 year old to WDW once, when my oldest were 2 and 4. DH had a business trip, and my parents came, too. I should have just left him home with them (rookie mistake). He did love the hotel pool, but was whiny, and hated the characters.

The only complaint I get about past vacations is from dd17, who has no memory of any vacation before the age of 5, and we went to some great places! She can't understand why we didn't wait until she was older.

 

[BigAlsGal]

All of mine have been left at home, at one point, as babies and toddlers. I've been saving up for the therapy they will need when they look at photos the're not in... Seriously, they don't care - at all! They don't remember!

I only took a 2 year old to WDW once, when my oldest were 2 and 4. DH had a business trip, and my parents came, too. I should have just left him home with them (rookie mistake). He did love the hotel pool, but was whiny, and hated the characters.

The only complaint I get about past vacations is from dd17, who has no memory of any vacation before the age of 5, and we went to some great places! She can't understand why we didn't wait until she was older.

Lol!! Therapy!! I'm with you. They don't remember or care. I have a fantastic memory and my first real memories started at 4ish. And telling a person the only way to justify it is to leave the older one at home to take the younger one on their "special" trip is silly. An older child will absolutely remember that and be extremely upset. Come on people.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Lol!! Therapy!! I'm with you. They don't remember or care. I have a fantastic memory and my first real memories started at 4ish. And telling a person the only way to justify it is to leave the older one at home to take the younger one on their "special" trip is silly. An older child will absolutely remember that and be extremely upset. Come on people.

As a second child, I can also tell you that it is upsets the younger child when the older child gets a "special trip" that they don't.

Maybe it wouldn't be an issue in this particular case, considering the age of the younger child, but I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that if older children get special "just for them" milestone age trips, that a younger child should have that option as well when they reach that milestone.

 

[ashleymrush]

Thanks everyone so much for the replies. The decision is still up in the air although it seems to be leaning more towards leaving DS2 with grandma. I've talked to DS5 about it and he prefers for his little brother not to come. With that bring said the youngest is 18 months right now and in a stage of communication frustration as he learns to talk. This equals a lot of screaming and whining right now. When I asked my oldest if he wanted his little brother to come to WDW with us I was told "no, he will scream, cry and hit me the whole time." We could be well out of this phase (God willing) by then and they could be back to best buds again. We've still got a lot of time to decide so I'm hoping the decision will be easier as the time gets closer. Thanks again.

 

[BigAlsGal]

As a second child, I can also tell you that it is upsets the younger child when the older child gets a "special trip" that they don't.

Maybe it wouldn't be an issue in this particular case, considering the age of the younger child, but I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that if older children get special "just for them" milestone age trips, that a younger child should have that option as well when they reach that milestone.

I was referring to this particular case. Of course the situation would be different if the oldest got a trip when they were 8 and the youngest was 4/5 and was left home.

 

[RachaelA]

Thanks everyone so much for the replies. The decision is still up in the air although it seems to be leaning more towards leaving DS2 with grandma. I've talked to DS5 about it and he prefers for his little brother not to come. With that bring said the youngest is 18 months right now and in a stage of communication frustration as he learns to talk. This equals a lot of screaming and whining right now. When I asked my oldest if he wanted his little brother to come to WDW with us I was told "no, he will scream, cry and hit me the whole time." We could be well out of this phase (God willing) by then and they could be back to best buds again. We've still got a lot of time to decide so I'm hoping the decision will be easier as the time gets closer. Thanks again.

I'm kind of shocked that you are asking the 5 year old to make the decision and that you are letting him think he has a choice. Doesn't seem like a good way to foster a sibling relationship. "Oh mom and dad let me decide whether I wanted you to come or not."

 

[ashleymrush]

I'm kind of shocked that you are asking the 5 year old to make the decision and that you are letting him think he has a choice. Doesn't seem like a good way to foster a sibling relationship. "Oh mom and dad let me decide whether I wanted you to come or not."

I know it sounds bad on the surface but I assure you that the conversation was carefully crafted to prevent against this. Everything was hypothetical and included multiple family members so that no one was singled out. He doesn't even know we are going.

 

[grandmatotwo]

Hard decision. I have a 23 and 21 and 8 year old. The oldest don't live at home and I constantly hear that it's unfair that the little one gets to go places they never did. They both went to disney once. And I took my daughter on a caribbean cruise once. Whereas the little one has been to Maui, San Francisco, Alaska and we are going to Florida later this year. Of course I feel guilty. But it is what it is. Can't change the past.

Having said all that. Play it by ear and do whatever feels right to you at the time. If you change your mind and take him. Great. If not and decide to leave him home. Great. You will feel guilty either way for some reason or another. Have fun.

 

[brockash]

Can someone tell me if I'm crazy or if I should listen to my guilt?! My DH and I are taking my first born DS to WDW for his 5th birthday in June. I have another DS that will be 3 weeks away from turning 2 when we go. I have been planning since before my first son was born to take him for his 5th birthday. We plan to do the same for our 2nd when he turns 5 as well. I have always just felt that 5 was the perfect age. With that said, 2 is not the perfect age IMO. We have always planned for our youngest to stay with Grandma (which she is more than happy to do) while we take our oldest. That way the trip can really be about our oldest and we won't have to deal with the tantrums and crazy schedule of a 2 year old in WDW in June. As the time gets closer though, my guilt is beginning to grow. We were watching a WDW video earlier and he just kept laughing and smiling everytime a character would come on the screen which was not helping the guilt. So in conclusion, should he stay or should he go? Anyone else only taken some children and left another at home? Any thoughts welcome.

I personally can't imagine ever leaving 1 kid home. We've taken kids of all ages infant and up. It would be easier to only take the 5 year I am sure though. You said you plan on doing the same for your younger son when he's 5 ...are you planning on still bringing the older son then? I def. wouldn't leave an older child at home as they know and will understand, whereas right now your 2 yr. old really won't. I really wouldn't be too concerned about the 2 yr olds feelings as he won't know any different, I'd just be concerned about how you'd feel...if you'd be thinking about all the stuff the 2 yr old would like while you're there etc. Also how you'd feel about not having the 2 yr old in the pics etc.

 

[aLLpInK]

WELL....our youngest was 22 months old when we took our first family trip. We have 3 daughters who were at the time 7(turning 8 there), 3.5 and the 22 month old. My mother urged us to leave her with them instead of taking her, and I considered, as well as posted HERE just like you. Finally I KNEW that if we left her behind (although in my mother's most trusting hands) I knew I would be miserable. Knowing that the guilt (for me) would be too much, we decided to take her. I can honestly say that I CANNOT imagine how I EVER considered not taking her!!!!

It was perfect. We were whole. Guilt free. As a family. It was perfect!

Now that was MY choice. Only you know whther or not you can enjoy the trip at all if you have that guilt hovering over you the entire time. I too agree tha
t there is NOTHING at all wrong with taking just one. I just couldn't

Good luck and I wish you all the best!!

Edit: I just wanted to add that now as a kindergartener, when she looks at the memory books of our trips,and the videos and especially that first trip when she was a "baby" as she says, it fills her with so much joy to know that she was there, even though she can't remember, and I know it always will!