Oh, the Guilt!!

[TotalSnowWhite]

OK, so how do you parents get over the guilt of not taking the kiddos with you to Disney??

Here's a little background:
DS is actually DCousin. His mother passed away when he was 7 months old, and I've stepped up as his surrogate mommy. He splits his time between my house and our grandparents' house (as they love to spoil him, like all grandparents!!). It's worked out well for us, and he's super easy going and adapts well to each household. He know what he can get away with at each place and milks it! He's 3 now, and I treated him, my niece, grandparents and my mom to a WDW trip in May (my dad has passed away, too). It was AMAZING!! You can't buy those memories!

But...

I was thinking about how much fun it would be to go with just my friends or even on a girls only trip. I'm 24, newly single and just graduated with my bachelor's. I should totally be living it up with my friends, as our family provides an incredible support system. I'd absolutely be able to take a week and go to Disney (or anywhere else) with a few friends and know that he's totally being spoiled and having the time of his life.

Well, I started planning a grown-ups only trip to Disney in September or October. Somehow it turned into a Christmas trip with DS, grandparents and my mom. I'm really excited, as I lovelovelove Christmas, ths music, decorations, lights, hot chocolate, shopping, you name it! I can't imagine going to Disney at such a magical time of year without my little Mickey Mouse!!

So, how do you do it?? I've taken three or four longer trips to NYC since he's been around, but I always rationalize that it's more of a grown-up locale (even though I recently picked up the funnest deck of cards with things for kids to do in Manhattan). We've made little weekend trips to Dallas to shop, but he's usually been with his mom's family while I was out of town (and would have been had I been in town, anyway). I just can't wrap my mind around going to Disney without kiddies in tow?

At some point I'd like to ::ahem::drink around the World Showcase::ahem::, but I definitely wouldn't do so with kids of any age under my supervision. I'd love to take advantage of 3:00 a.m. EMHs (also not too smart with little guys). Just going at a faster pace would be nice, too.

So...?

 

[Candice30]

just start planning it and the trip will take on a life of its own. he will be fine! when i took my 1st solo trip, i didn't even tell the kids where i was going. i told them when i got back and all they wanted or cared about was what i bought them. which because of guilt was tons of stuff.

like you i do not have any children but i have 2 nieces and 5 nephews and they mean the world to me. my brother in law passed away in march so i feel like i have to help my sister raise their 4 children so i have taken over family vacation planning. in fact i am taking one of my nephews and my niece (actually my cousin's daughter) in just 5 days! BUT......i am also planning my solo trip for october. give and take! a little for me and a little for them.

JUST DO IT! you'll be glad you did. believe me, it is not scaring them.

 

[jadedbeauty14304]

Just do it!! Guilt will be the last thing on your mind as you drink around the World, or sing along at JellyRolls til 2am. You are taking an adult trip. He would not have fun. Just think about it that way.

 

[nurse.darcy]

Just do it!! Guilt will be the last thing on your mind as you drink around the World, or sing along at JellyRolls til 2am. You are taking an adult trip. He would not have fun. Just think about it that way.

I like your thinking here. . .lol

 

[MomofCKJ]

I am going alone next month, first solo trip ever! I have 3 kids (almost 11, 8 and almost 6) and a DH. I went with the kids in March of this year and they'll get to go again within the next 2 years. So I don't feel so guilty! If they had never been or weren't going for a long time it would be different.

I have always wanted to go by myself and see what I want and do the things I want. I also like my girls to see that even when you are a Mom you can still have your own interests and do your own thing once in a while! It's healthy!

Allyson

 

[wdw1972]

You need to remember you're a person first, and a mommy 2nd. There will be trips when you'll take your DS....but he's not entitled to go on every trip you take regardless of the destination. Just go & have a great time - there's no reason for you to feel guilty and certainly no reason for anyone to tell you otherwise!

 

[KyDerbyMan]

I'm trying to find the... courage(?)... to do the same. Mine are older now and it should be easier but even weekend trips to NYC or Baltimore or Chicago I have them with me (at least one of them).

I think it's because when I was younger, we mostly just went to State parks with the near-annual trip to FL, too, and I want my girls to see as much of the country as I can afford to take them (about the only places they haven't been with me are the southwest and New England (NYC/CT is as far NE as we've made it)

But Disney? So different to explain to them that, hey, Dad just needs a little me-fun time.

 

[nurse.darcy]

I'm trying to find the... courage(?)... to do the same. Mine are older now and it should be easier but even weekend trips to NYC or Baltimore or Chicago I have them with me (at least one of them).

I think it's because when I was younger, we mostly just went to State parks with the near-annual trip to FL, too, and I want my girls to see as much of the country as I can afford to take them (about the only places they haven't been with me are the southwest and New England (NYC/CT is as far NE as we've made it)

But Disney? So different to explain to them that, hey, Dad just needs a little me-fun time.

Do your girls live with you full time or 50% time?

Look, I felt guilty in May and didn't want to share with my son, but when I did I was so surprised at his answer. . .so I went. . .

 

[KyDerbyMan]

My oldest is with me all the time and I have my youngest at least 50% (supposed to be with her mom this week but she's been here or at a friends so far this week...not surprising...her mom missed the softball game tonight, too. *sigh*)

I feel like I have to step up more and do more things with them but, perhaps it's time to focus on a bit more Mr. KyDerbyMan time!

 

[nurse.darcy]

My oldest is with me all the time and I have my youngest at least 50% (supposed to be with her mom this week but she's been here or at a friends so far this week...not surprising...her mom missed the softball game tonight, too. *sigh*)

I feel like I have to step up more and do more things with them but, perhaps it's time to focus on a bit more Mr. KyDerbyMan time!

I hear you, but at the same time, encorporating your kids in your life is awesome. . .I realize that Disney seems especially selfish since it is designed with kids in mind. . .that being said, there is nothing wrong with a little adult down time. . .maybe you don't make as long a trip. . .maybe you only go for a long weekend, but whatever it is, it is healthy to have a life separate from your children. . .regardless of how hard it is to be away from them. . .they will appreciate their time with you more when you are refreshed and relaxed from a weekend away. . .

 

[KyDerbyMan]

Sounds more and more like an excellent idea. Delta even has some great weekend airfares...hmmm....now to work on that AP to make things more tempting....

 

[nurse.darcy]

Sounds more and more like an excellent idea. Delta even has some great weekend airfares...hmmm....now to work on that AP to make things more tempting....

Oh, the AP is the best excuse ever. . .lol

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

just start planning it and the trip will take on a life of its own. he will be fine! when i took my 1st solo trip, i didn't even tell the kids where i was going. i told them when i got back and all they wanted or cared about was what i bought them. which because of guilt was tons of stuff.

like you i do not have any children but i have 2 nieces and 5 nephews and they mean the world to me. my brother in law passed away in march so i feel like i have to help my sister raise their 4 children so i have taken over family vacation planning. in fact i am taking one of my nephews and my niece (actually my cousin's daughter) in just 5 days! BUT......i am also planning my solo trip for october. give and take! a little for me and a little for them.

JUST DO IT! you'll be glad you did. believe me, it is not scaring them.

Thanks for the input! I also took my niece-who-is-actually-my-cousin's-daughter. Hehe! She can't go during school because our school system is cracking down on absences, and family vacations are not excused, otherwise I'd feel extra guilty!

Just as a side note, to make it harder on me, my little guy constantly, and I mean constantly, says "I wanna go to Disney!!" He had a friend (about 3 years older) over on Sunday, and he kept telling his friend "I went to Disney!" and his friend says "You've said that a thousand times!! Luckily DS is going on the upcoming trip, otherwise I'd be changing reservations to add him.

Just do it!! Guilt will be the last thing on your mind as you drink around the World, or sing along at JellyRolls til 2am. You are taking an adult trip. He would not have fun. Just think about it that way.

I've just started reading about JellyRolls, and I think it sounds so fun!! I'm a former musical theatre/voice student, and I know I'd have waaaay too much fun there! Add drinks to the mix, and it's all downhill from there.

I am going alone next month, first solo trip ever! I have 3 kids (almost 11, 8 and almost 6) and a DH. I went with the kids in March of this year and they'll get to go again within the next 2 years. So I don't feel so guilty! If they had never been or weren't going for a long time it would be different.

I have always wanted to go by myself and see what I want and do the things I want. I also like my girls to see that even when you are a Mom you can still have your own interests and do your own thing once in a while! It's healthy!

Allyson

Yeah, we're hoping to make the big family trip at least annual. That would definitely ease it a bit. I even thought about having a grown-up trip, then having the fam join.

You need to remember you're a person first, and a mommy 2nd. There will be trips when you'll take your DS....but he's not entitled to go on every trip you take regardless of the destination. Just go & have a great time - there's no reason for you to feel guilty and certainly no reason for anyone to tell you otherwise!

Can you follow me around the World and say that?

I'm trying to find the... courage(?)... to do the same. Mine are older now and it should be easier but even weekend trips to NYC or Baltimore or Chicago I have them with me (at least one of them).

I think it's because when I was younger, we mostly just went to State parks with the near-annual trip to FL, too, and I want my girls to see as much of the country as I can afford to take them (about the only places they haven't been with me are the southwest and New England (NYC/CT is as far NE as we've made it)

But Disney? So different to explain to them that, hey, Dad just needs a little me-fun time.

We should start a support group!! And meetings can be held at Disney!

I'm the same way. We did travel a lot (due to the USMC), but I want my guy to be able to see as much of the world as possible. I know his birth mom would have wanted him to be the well-rounded person I am hoping to help him become by exposing him to different people and experiences.

So, when's the first meeting?