Oh boy.

[Trixieplus2]

I doubt a 20-30 min wait in 20 plus weather is going to kill anyones kid though


Rules like that are put in place to protect the children's safety. So it wasn't some old guy with a white van and a missing puppy poster on it. Don't people know by now that "stranger danger" is not always where the worry comes from.
Most children are molested,abducted or murdered by someone they know or recognize enough to trust and go off with or break the "rules" for.

 

[luvmy3]

IF a dangerous situation happens my only concern would be the safety and well-being of my child. Rules be damned. I don't want the person on the scene wasting precious seconds going over bureaucracy in their heads and running down a list of what is allowed and what isn't. I want that person getting my kid out of harm's way.

If my child isn't safe in a particular situation but isn't being removed from that situation because the school or monitor couldn't reach me to obtain my permission, I'd be more angry (not to mention grieving) if the opportunity was passed by and my child was injured or killed because the official in charge was following the rules (or, more likely, covering her butt against future repercussions such as angry parents screaming for heads).

We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. IMO, common sense and human decency is quickly leaving us and putting our children in more danger than any 'rule' would protect us from. Monday morning quarterbacking, powertripping, and following the urge to reprimand others and get them fired when everything turned out all right is one of the reasons why.

The incident should be reported because she did not follow the current rules in place, and because that is what is supposed to be done when incidents like this happen, not because I think she should be fired. If the district feels what she did warrants her termination then so be it, I wouldn't care. If they want to put her on probabtion or reprimand her in another way, thats their call, but no matter what the incident should be reported.

 

[Klismania]

The incident should be reported because she did not follow the current rules in place, and because that is what is supposed to be done when incidents like this happen, not because I think she should be fired. If the district feels what she did warrants her termination then so be it, I wouldn't care. If they want to put her on probabtion or reprimand her in another way, thats their call, but no matter what the incident should be reported.

Why? Do you really think the school doesn't already have a count of the children on the bus?

Bus leaves school with 40 children.
Bus has accident.
2nd bus goes to retrieve children.
30 children get on 2nd bus.

I'm pretty sure the school is already going to have a list of the children on the 1st bus and compare it to list of the children on the 2nd bus and ask what happened to those 10 children.

If the school were to call me and verify that my child made it home, I'd tell them he was here. If the school wanted to know how my child made it home, I'd tell them. In the course of the conversation, I'd probably want to know if everyone else was OK, including the bus driver and the monitor.

But that's just me. YMMV.

 

[Klismania]

Most children are molested,abducted or murdered by someone they know or recognize enough to trust and go off with or break the "rules" for.

I'll agree with the first part and disagree with the second part. If a family member is taking a child from school, chances are the "rules" are being followed. But I will agree that most molestations, abductions and/or murders are committed by family members and close friends rather than strangers or bus stop mothers.

 

[luvmy3]

Why? Do you really think the school doesn't already have a count of the children on the bus?

Bus leaves school with 40 children.
Bus has accident.
2nd bus goes to retrieve children.
30 children get on 2nd bus.

I'm pretty sure the school is already going to have a list of the children on the 1st bus and compare it to list of the children on the 2nd bus and ask what happened to those 10 children.

If the school were to call me and verify that my child made it home, I'd tell them he was here. If the school wanted to know how my child made it home, I'd tell them. In the course of the conversation, I'd probably want to know if everyone else was OK, including the bus driver and the monitor.

But that's just me. YMMV.

Why? It has to do with having it on record that this particular bus driver and monitor disregarded safety policies of the district. If I was the OP and my child was brought home by someone I didn't know very well because the bus driver had no problem letting my child you better believe I would put my complaint on record. While you may have appreciated that because you feel it was a rescue of sorts, I wouldn't. My children are not allowed to go into a car of a stranger (and yes I consider a neighbor I don't know well a stranger), the bus driver had no right to make that decision for me. That is why I would report it.
In my district, the driver would most likely be fired. Our kids can't even get off at a friends stop (on their own bus) without written permission sent into the school. I had to get my friend's ds off with my kids at my stop one day because she had an emergency and didn't have time to call the school before the buses left. I had to run out to the bus and tell the bus driver while my friend was on the phone with me. I had to let her talk to her ds and then the bus driver, and then she had to call transportation to let them know that she OK'd all of this, so that it would be on record that the driver didn't just let him get off. Our stop is the one before his, and they had to go through all that, no way would a parent be able to take any child other than their own off one of our buses. Maybe thats why I would report it since I'm used to strict rules and I'm a stickler for them .

 

[Klismania]

I had to get my friend's ds off with my kids at my stop one day because she had an emergency and didn't have time to call the school before the buses left. I had to run out to the bus and tell the bus driver while my friend was on the phone with me. I had to let her talk to her ds and then the bus driver, and then she had to call transportation to let them know that she OK'd all of this, so that it would be on record that the driver didn't just let him get off. Our stop is the one before his, and they had to go through all that, no way would a parent be able to take any child other than their own off one of our buses. Maybe thats why I would report it since I'm used to strict rules and I'm a stickler for them .

If we're going to go that way, then that bus driver should be fired for letting your friend's child get off the bus at your stop and releasing that child to you. There was no written record of the emergency and it could have been ANYONE on the other end of the phone. The bus driver should have refused to release the child and insisted that the parents with the emergency go through proper channels.

I can be a stickler for rules, too. What you just described is a perfect scenario for the father's family involved in a parental dispute to abduct the child whose mother has custody of it. Invent an emergency, tell the child on the phone that they're going to do something fun, have a female give the driver the phone and say the woman on the other end is the mother, and release the child to the person who gave him/her the phone. It shouldn't matter that the driver knows the woman collecting the child, the rules state that he/she needs written authorization to release that child to anyone except the visible parent of that child.

If we're going to be sticklers for rules, then the rules MUST be enforced no matter how much they're going to inconvenience you or your neighbors. Can't have it both ways.

 

[luvmy3]

If we're going to go that way, then that bus driver should be fired for letting your friend's child get off the bus at your stop and releasing that child to you. There was no written record of the emergency and it could have been ANYONE on the other end of the phone. The bus driver should have refused to release the child and insisted that the parents with the emergency go through proper channels.

I can be a stickler for rules, too. What you just described is a perfect scenario for the family of a parental dispute to abduct the child whose mother has custody of it. Invent an emergency, have a female give the driver the phone and say the woman on the other end is the mother, and release the child to the person who gave him/her the phone. It should matter not that the driver knows the woman collecting the child, the rules state that he/she needs written authorization to release that child to anyone except the visible parent of that child.

If we're going to be sticklers for rules, then the rules MUST be enforced no matter how much they're going to inconvenience you or your neighbors. Can't have it both ways.

Which is exactly why my friend had to talk to her ds first so he could confirm it was her, then call transportation (and give ID #) after speaking to the bus driver and they radioed the driver to say let him off. This is the rule for those emergencies that happen after the buses leave the school because sometimes there are instances when this does happen. Our district has rules in place when it does, so nobody's having anything both ways, rules are put in place and here they were followed

 

[bumbershoot]

IF a dangerous situation happens my only concern would be the safety and well-being of my child. Rules be damned. I don't want the person on the scene wasting precious seconds going over bureaucracy in their heads and running down a list of what is allowed and what isn't. I want that person getting my kid out of harm's way.

Anyone old enough to remember the Chowchilla kidnapping (and I was only 6 but I remember the fear in my mom after hearing about it) is most likely going to disagree most vehemently with you.

Kids do not get off the bus with anyone not authorized to take them. Period.



In the late 70s/early 80s we had piano lessons a few stops away from our stop, and we had to get that in writing so the driver could let us off. Even back then the rules were clear.

 

[Klismania]

Anyone old enough to remember the Chowchilla kidnapping (and I was only 6 but I remember the fear in my mom after hearing about it) is most likely going to disagree most vehemently with you.

Kids do not get off the bus with anyone not authorized to take them. Period.



In the late 70s/early 80s we had piano lessons a few stops away from our stop, and we had to get that in writing so the driver could let us off. Even back then the rules were clear.

The probably that my child will be killed or maimed in a bus accident, school fire or terrorist attack far outweighs another chowchilla incident.

 

[luvmy3]

Klismania if a situation happened on the bus that made it so dangerous that the kids needed to be transported away by strangers then the police would have been called the minute the driver reported into transportation. So, while things do happen it doesn't sound like the situation in the OP was that dangerous. Was it scary for the kids, sure but that doesn't mean it was so dangerous for them that is was alright to let them leave with people who were not authorized to take them. It may be your opinion that it was, but I'm willing to bet that according to the School District's policy it wasn't, and that is the real issue here. Its not about what your feelings are about the situation. You may not feel the need to report what happened, but for those of us that do, its perfectly reasonable for us to.

 

[Klismania]

Klismania if a situation happened on the bus that made it so dangerous that the kids needed to be transported away by strangers then the police would have been called the minute the driver reported into transportation. So, while things do happen it doesn't sound like the situation in the OP was that dangerous. Was it scary for the kids, sure but that doesn't mean it was so dangerous for them that is was alright to let them leave with people who were not authorized to take them. It may be your opinion that it was, but I'm willing to bet that according to the School District's policy it wasn't, and that is the real issue here. Its not about what your feelings are about the situation. You may not feel the need to report what happened, but for those of us that do, its perfectly reasonable for us to.

And you are entitled to your opinion and to feel that your opinion is perfectly reasonable. This isn't a competition over who's the most right. It's a discussion board that would be pretty dang boring if every post said, in essense, "I agree".

But I'm also entitled to my opinion and feel that those who raise a stink over a situation that turned out well (the child got home safely) and who get bogged down in the nitty-gritty nanny-state "follow the rules or I'll call and demand that they get fired" details are contributing to the loss of common sense. It's the same way I feel about these "zero tolerance" edicts that say a student can't take an aspirin for a headache without having to go to the school nurse or if a child draws a picture of a knife or uses a french fry as a gun has to be suspended and go to counselling.

I'm glad the OP's child got home OK. That's the bottom line as far as I'm concerned. Everything else is drama.

 

[luvmy3]

And you are entitled to your opinion and to feel that your opinion is perfectly reasonable. This isn't a competition over who's the most right. It's a discussion board that would be pretty dang boring if every post said, in essense, "I agree".

But I'm also entitled to my opinion and feel that those who raise a stink over a situation that turned out well (the child got home safely) and who get bogged down in the nitty-gritty nanny-state "follow the rules or I'll call and demand that they get fired" details are contributing to the loss of common sense. It's the same way I feel about these "zero tolerance" edicts that say a student can't take an aspirin for a headache without having to go to the school nurse or if a child draws a picture of a knife or uses a french fry as a gun has to be suspended and go to counselling.

I'm glad the OP's child got home OK. That's the bottom line as far as I'm concerned. Everything else is drama.

Interesting that you feel reporting something is "raising a stink and demanding termination". I guess its all in how you view things, I don't see it that way, I see it has having the incident on record, which may come in handy if the bus driver makes that a habit or if there have been other things that she/he has done and they use that info to determine what should be done about it. I don't care whether or not she/he is fired, not my call to make but its my repsonsibility as a parent to make sure those who do make that decision are aware of what is going on.
FTR, I'm not the one being dramatic here.

 

[kirstenb1]

I understand and that's why I'm torn on whether or not to say something. I haven't and I think I'm leaning towards not. BUT what if the bus driver does not get reprimanded and then lets another child go with someone she shouldn't?

I know at the school I worked in, they were extremely strict about who the children could leave with. One time a dad came in and tried to get their child and he did not have custody (due to abuse). More than once a drunk parent came and picked up their child and we had to call police. I'm sure the bus driver wouldn't have noticed (from what the mom said) if one of these parents had been drinking.

It's sad that these rules have to be in place, but they do.

Now I do feel that on a regular day, in the schooll building, I completely understand why those rules are in place. I was long term subbing in a self contained sped class, and a non-custodial parent came to pick up one of my students after school. I had to tell him that he needed to take it up with the office, because teh boy's file said only Mom or Grandma could pick him up.

I guess I am seeing the situation with the bus as an unusual one. We live in such a small town, everyone knows everyone here. Like your situation, it would easily take 30 minutes to get another bus out. So in the same situation, all us parents just pitched in to get the kids home.

 

[Tink888]

I just asked my son why he went with her and didn't ask her for the family code word. He said he forgot and felt ok going with her because other kids were going with her.

I think he would have been fine staying on the bus because another bus was, apparently, headed that way. I think they must have come from the bus garage, though, which is about 20-30 minutes away. I'm not upset with the mom. I told her I appreciated her bringing him home.

Question for the OP and those who feel she should call about the bus driver. And to the OP, please don't think it's a flame because I don't intend it to be, just curiosity, as I'd have been miffed about the situation too......

Why not be upset with the mom who drove the kids home? Granted in this situation it's the bus driver (and monitor's) JOB to follow the rules. They have a responsibility to the kids which they didn't follow, but how does the fact that the other mom isn't on the payroll make her exempt from blame as well? She didn't break a rule but as a parent in the district she must have known the rule existed yet she chose to disregard it. She's got even more of a vested interest in the rules being followed than the driver because ultimately it's for the safety of her children.

She made a bad decision with good intentions and gets a pass, even appreciation, yet the bus driver gets thrown under the bus so to speak.

Is the real issue that the driver didn't do their job or is it ultimately the safety of the kids?

FWIW I do think the bus driver and monitor will be in trouble regardless of any parent complaints.

Just a bad situation all around that thankfully had a good outcome.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Question for the OP and those who feel she should call about the bus driver. And to the OP, please don't think it's a flame because I don't intend it to be, just curiosity, as I'd have been miffed about the situation too......

Why not be upset with the mom who drove the kids home? Granted in this situation it's the bus driver (and monitor's) JOB to follow the rules. They have a responsibility to the kids which they didn't follow, but how does the fact that the other mom isn't on the payroll make her exempt from blame as well? She didn't break a rule but as a parent in the district she must have known the rule existed yet she chose to disregard it. She's got even more of a vested interest in the rules being followed than the driver because ultimately it's for the safety of her children.

She made a bad decision with good intentions and gets a pass, even appreciation, yet the bus driver gets thrown under the bus so to speak.

Is the real issue that the driver didn't do their job or is it ultimately the safety of the kids?

FWIW I do think the bus driver and monitor will be in trouble regardless of any parent complaints.

Just a bad situation all around that thankfully had a good outcome.

She really shouldn't have done it, you're right, and I did feel that way from the start. However, like I said, she was recently widowed. Before her husband died, she homeschooled her kids. They just recently started going to public school. So she may not really understand the rules (though she would have been told them). Plus, she's a sweet person, but...it seems she has a need to feel needed/important and I think that may be a reason she did it.

When she called, she told me she thought I wouldn't mind. I told her that I appreciate her bringing him home (because I did appreciate her thought), but I was really surprised the bus driver let the kids go. She agreed and that's when she told me she had her ID out, etc (but they never looked at it - not that that would make much of a difference, I guess).

I've only talked with her a few times, mostly at the bus stop at the beginning of the year. And we both belong to the same Y and have spoken once or twice there. My son has talked to her a couple of times (to ask if the boys could come play, etc), so I guess he felt comfortable with her (though I'm upset he didn't remember about the code word).

Now, if it were a person who my son and I had never met before, I would be very upset.

 

[horseshowmom]

I guess I am seeing the situation with the bus as an unusual one. We live in such a small town, everyone knows everyone here. Like your situation, it would easily take 30 minutes to get another bus out. So in the same situation, all us parents just pitched in to get the kids home.

Honestly, I could see this happening in our town, and nobody would lose their job over it. Because it's such a small town, I'm not positive anybody immediately connected with the incident (parents, bus driver, monitor if we had one) would even think about it being a problem (except maybe after the fact). The transportation director (who would recognize the possibility of liability) would probably remind them that they aren't supposed to release students that way.

 

[kacaju]

my dd last year (she was 8th grade) bus broke down. I knew because she called me from a friends cell and told me. I asked her where she was (street?) and she did not know....her response was...on some hill. OK so I have no idea where they are broken down. No big deal because I know the policy will be to send out another bus to bring them home.
Well, a while later I see her and 3 other girls from our street walking towards our house. (the other 3, sisters) live past our house.
I figured the bus dropped them off at the wrong corner. NO... The bus driver allowed them to walk home.
I called the school the next day and they knew nothing about this. I do not know what happened to the bus driver, and you know...that is really not my business. But they did get an earful that the driver allowed these kids to walk home. They also agreed that was not following their policy. Policy is when a bus breaks down SOMEONE from the school goes to the bus and stays with the kids until a new bus comes.