Off-topic randomness - a place to ramble?

[Churro]

Who told you that? They are just trying to make you feel better! Because I have a 9 yr old and he is not much help. Actually I am spending lots on his mouth right now! But I would be open to any suggestions on how to get my 1238.00$ back.

 

[hagen]

Seems like we've already ruled out duct tape and nobody is willing to trade for her. So, I guess hagen is right -- ebay. Does ebay work for paying people to take things?

You would set that up in the shipping terms. Also, you might want to use vague words when describing kids. For example, don't say "little terrors," but do say "remarkable conduct;" after all, you could easily remark on their conduct all day long, just not with positive remarks. Also, don't say "they turn my hair grey," say instead "they remind me of my youth," since you used to look younger before they showed up. And "they've destroyed my home" is a bit harsh... try this: "they bring light into the home" since they knocked down that wall after putting your car into gear while you were unloading groceries. It's the subtle language that makes the purchase attractive and in no way false advertisement... lawyers understand.

hagen

 

[PeachyT]

It's the subtle language that makes the purchase attractive and in no way false advertisement... lawyers understand.

hagen

Hagen, are you implying that lawyers twist words??

 

[hagen]

Hagen, are you implying that lawyers twist words??

I have implied nothing, just a few qualified suggestions for any prospective exasperated, capitalistic parents. Lawyers understand the power of the English language, and I merely offer that they have a deeper, more professional interest in utilizing the vernacular to their own unspeakable ends. I mean, uh, hey! Look over there!

hagen (running the other way)

 

[Astryd]

You would set that up in the shipping terms. Also, you might want to use vague words when describing kids. For example, don't say "little terrors," but do say "remarkable conduct;" after all, you could easily remark on their conduct all day long, just not with positive remarks. Also, don't say "they turn my hair grey," say instead "they remind me of my youth," since you used to look younger before they showed up. And "they've destroyed my home" is a bit harsh... try this: "they bring light into the home" since they knocked down that wall after putting your car into gear while you were unloading groceries. It's the subtle language that makes the purchase attractive and in no way false advertisement... lawyers understand.

hagen

Could you please wright up am item description for my small girl? I can pay you a small fee.

LOL. No way am I going to pay for her again! Let's just say if she were the first born I would only have one!

I feel your pain. I totally agree with this. Maybe boys are easier to deal with? But then again, i am ready to sell him right now too. The whole teen attitude thing is kicking in now.

 

[PeachyT]

I have implied nothing, just a few qualified suggestions for any prospective exasperated, capitalistic parents. Lawyers understand the power of the English language, and I merely offer that they have a deeper, more professional interest in utilizing the vernacular to their own unspeakable ends. I mean, uh, hey! Look over there!

hagen (running the other way)

Boy those are some big words, did you go to law school??

And don't worry about running, you are always hiding so I'd never find you anyway! I used to think you were a figment of people's imaginations!

 

[marypops!]

random.
















































































































































































































quarter way there.
















































































































































































































halfway there.
















































































































































































































three quarters there.
















































































































































































































YACHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WebmasterAlex]

Why??

 

[hagen]

Boy those are some big words, did you go to law school too??

And don't worry about running, you are always hiding so I'd never find you anyway! I used to think you were a figment of people's imaginations!

No law school for me... the feds won't let me learn their language. But I am no figment, at least as far as I can tell. The only figment I've heard of on VMK is that yavn person.

hagen

 

[hagen]

Could you please wright up am item description for my small girl? I can pay you a small fee.

I feel your pain. I totally agree with this. Maybe boys are easier to deal with? But then again, i am ready to sell him right now too. The whole teen attitude thing is kicking in now.

I'll be happy to come up with a description, but I'll have to ask for 10% of your selling price. 15% if she sells with the Buy It Now feature. And boys are just as remarkable, and more difficult to sell on ebay.

hagen

 

[Churro]

Hagen! Hagen! Haven't seen you in .....forever! Miss ya!

 

[Astryd]

I'll be happy to come up with a description, but I'll have to ask for 10% of your selling price. 15% if she sells with the Buy It Now feature. And boys are just as remarkable, and more difficult to sell on ebay.

hagen

That is awful expensive, cutting in to my profits. How about 5% and 10%? or you can take the boy in trade for your services?

 

[FlyThenFall]

I look away from this topic for a while...and I come back to people trying to sell children! Let's just say I'm keeping this idea away from my parents...

 

[marypops!]

Roll up!! Roll up!! The world famous jungle cruise leaves momentarily.

 

[JeanJoe]

This is the funniest post I've seen in a long, long time...

If I ever need help on the classified ads, I know where to go.

You would set that up in the shipping terms. Also, you might want to use vague words when describing kids. For example, don't say "little terrors," but do say "remarkable conduct;" after all, you could easily remark on their conduct all day long, just not with positive remarks. Also, don't say "they turn my hair grey," say instead "they remind me of my youth," since you used to look younger before they showed up. And "they've destroyed my home" is a bit harsh... try this: "they bring light into the home" since they knocked down that wall after putting your car into gear while you were unloading groceries. It's the subtle language that makes the purchase attractive and in no way false advertisement... lawyers understand.

hagen

 

[hagen]

That is awful expensive, cutting in to my profits. How about 5% and 10%? or you can take the boy in trade for your services?

Well, Astryd, since we're pals, I'll make it a flat 7%. But no trades... I have a surplus as it is.

hagen

 

[hagen]

If I ever need help on the classified ads, I know where to go.

I'll give you the same rates as Astryd, Be.

hagen

 

[Astryd]

Well, Astryd, since we're pals, I'll make it a flat 7%. But no trades... I have a surplus as it is.

hagen

I could live with that. Sure you do not want the boy?

 

[JeanJoe]

OK, update on DD13mo, who despite a slow start at reaching her milestones (OK, she was off the charts delayed for rolling over, and I have the charts...) is now catching up! 2 nights ago, she took her first steps!

But JUST tonight, she did ALL of the following things. I'm checking in my manuals to see where they fall under the developmental milestones:

- from sitting on couch, pulled to stand on back of couch, and proceeded to try to climb over back of couch to face plant into hardwood floor on other side

- climbed step stool to reach stove, turned burner to high, and proceeded to try to climb onto stove into raging flames

- pulled open oven and tried to climb in (I think this one doesn't count, because the broiler wasn't on)

- crawled over to dining table, pulled to stand on chair, then reached onto table for sharp cutting knife, brandishing it wildly in the air

Woohoo! Daddy's little girl is growing into a homicidal, suicidal maniac!

I don't think even hagen could work his magic on this little Demon Beast.

Edited to add: I just realized that I think I'm obligated to report myself to the Child Protection Team and Dept of Social Services. Bummer. I *thought* we had child-proofed this house.

 

[Tishke]

So, um, would you be terribly insulted if we canceled on that dinner invite??