off topic but please hug your children and tell them you love them today

[VACAMPER]

crying = love....and we're all crying with you because we love you!

 

[A Mickeyfan]

Thank you that is very nice.

But it did cause tears to run down my face. But that is nothing new it happens everyday anymore.

You are very welcome.. and remember this portion of the poem when tears come down......

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

 

[stacktester]

I used to think i was a big strong man. I never cried about anything. I was always strong and could carry a huge load on my shoulders.

Now since Jeff left, I am not that big strong man any longer. Not a day goes by that tears don't roll down my face.

This is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person and I would not wish it on anyone.

Dan,

Jeff is your son who you molded into a fine young man. Crying is a part of the healing process and it's perfectly ok to do. You're family is great people who will make it through. Please keep sharing with us.

 

[AuburnJen92]

Dan,

You are just as strong today as I knew you before Jeff left this Earth to join the Lord. I cry with you from an hour away, every day. There is nothing wrong with grief. I only knew Jeff a very small portion of my life and look at the impact he has made on me and my family. What a blessing I have had in knowing him and your family. I feel so privileged to have had that honor. Please, cry. Cry a river, and let us cry one with you.

 

[2goofycampers]

Dan I would hate to think what kind of a man wouldn't shed tears over the loss of his son.

 

[auntie]

I used to think i was a big strong man. I never cried about anything. I was always strong and could carry a huge load on my shoulders.

Now since Jeff left, I am not that big strong man any longer. Not a day goes by that tears don't roll down my face.

This is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person and I would not wish it on anyone.

He was your baby. He is your baby. He will always be your boy. He was your heart, your soul, your very reason for being. To have that taken from you, at any age...is beyond description. It is impossible to accurately articulate what that feeling is, as it is so out of the natural order of things.

Dan, you are carrying a load that no man,.. not even a big strong man like yourself could ever carry alone. There is no shame in that. It only means you loved him more than life itself. Share that burden with those you love...share it with us. We're here to listen.
I would like to thank you for sharing your grief with us. I know that can't be easy for you. You've made me appreciate my own kids..even when they aren't making it easy.

Tonight...I went to my son's high school senior concert. He's 18 too. Graduating next month. He was ticked that I made him stick with chorus this year...being a senior and all, he wanted out. This..was to be the last concert. We've kind of hit a rough patch lately, and I'm not even sure why. Nothing major..just typical teenage attitude type stuff. He didn't want me to go to the concert. Apparently now he's too cool to have his mom in the audience. I was annoyed at him.., but really I was kind of hurt. Only I wasn't gonna let him know that. We had words yesterday about something else..again trivial. Can't seem to make the kid happy no matter what I do lately.
Anyway, today I figured...hey, if he doesn't want me there. What the hell, I'll show him. I won't go. Who gives a crap. He left for the concert..and I sulked.
Only, then.. I thought of you. I thought of Jeff. I thought....don't be an a**.
I realized how lucky I am to have an 18 year old son to argue with. That what's been going on lately is just BS.
Anyway, I got in the car and drove over to that high school. I slipped into the back of the auditorim right before he went on. He took the stage..right at the end of the row.. clear view of him. I hope you don't mind..if I say this..but he is a handsome kid..with a smile that sparkles just like your Jeff's.
They sang a few songs, and it was fine..only my eyes started to well up with tears. Not because the music was all that good..but because I had let what's been going on the past few days come between us. I thought of you..and your boy, and how you should be sitting in an audience watching your boy graduate. It isn't fair, and there just aren't any words that could explain it or justify it.
Only..thank you Dan.. for sharing your grief with us. Thank you for sharing your memories of Jeff with us. Thank you for reminding me not to take for granted what is right in front of me.
I left the auditorium before my boy ever knew I was there. He didn't have to know. I knew,... and that's all that matters.
He just came in a few minutes ago..walked past me while I was typing this. Mumbled a quick "love ya, ma" under his breath as he headed upstairs for bed.
I love you to, my boy...
I have you Dan..to thank for that today.

 

[mgsmom]

I like to make posters of inspirational quotes in my classroom, instead of academic stuff. Here are some I found that I hope you can relate to.
You are on my mind and in my prayers every day.

"Let your tears come. Let them water your soul."
Eileen Mayhew

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
Kahlil Gibran

"Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water."
Antoine Rivarol

"Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away. Just let it out, my friend."
Adabella Radici

"Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling…People who keep stiff upper lips find that it’s damn hard to smile."
Judith Guest

"You know somebody, and they cry for you. They stay awake at night and dream of you. I bet you never even know they do, but somebody’s crying for you."
Anonymous

"Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either."
Golda Meir

"Tears are the silent language of grief."
Voltaire

"I cry every chance I get."
Richard Gere

"I like the snot to run a little, the tears to accumulate a bit before reaching for the handkerchief. Then I know I’m really crying. Crying just isn’t crying unless it’s messy."
D.H. Mondfleur

"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep."
Henry Maudsley

"Tearless grief bleeds inwardly."
Christian Nevell Bovee

"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it."
Albert Smith

 

[BRDof3]

Dan.....tears are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of human emotion, a good sign.

Amen.

 

[PolynesianPixie]

Dan, I can't even begin to tell you how often I think of you. Every time I hear this song you come into my thoughts....it's hard to hear at first...brings tears to my eyes every time....but a good song. Reminds us of the bigger picture.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6LTfueFPpM

You know, I look at my kids. Sometimes I think they have way more figured out than I do. They have a grasp for things, an understanding that comes naturally. An acceptance of people, of situations...the way my oldest daughter can just do what's right.....I love it, but it makes me worry too. Tragedy came a little too close for comfort this week and my kids are much faster learners than I am. I try so hard to keep in mind that fear is the anti-faith.

xoxo

 

[AnotherAlice]

"Held" by Natalie Grant summed up all my feelings when I went through the horrific nightmare of losing my little niece to lukemia. Its unimaginable right now but you will gain strength. God bless!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkwIYzp8Sok&feature=related

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
[Bridge]
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
We'd be held

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This is what it means to be held.....

 

[bunkkinsmom]

still here, Dan. Still praying.

Maybe one day we will actually meet, but until then, I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[DisneyBishops]

Thanks to all of you for the kind words and inspriation.

 

[sjs314]

Today marks 2 mths since Jeff died. Mom's death last friday just seemed to bring it all back again. At her wake and funeral I am sure most people thought I was sheding tears for her. But I think i was still just shedding tears for Jeff.

I miss and love him just as much today as I ever did.

So very sorry to hear of Your Mother's passing, but I know even though that was hard, losing a child is just more painfull, it has been 10 months since I lost my DS and this week for me has been a rough one, the Holidays bring back the memories and then the tears flow, you are in my thoughts even though I only know you through this forum, I know your heartache, I feel I know you too.

 

[DisneyBishops]

So very sorry to hear of Your Mother's passing, but I know even though that was hard, losing a child is just more painfull, it has been 10 months since I lost my DS and this week for me has been a rough one, the Holidays bring back the memories and then the tears flow, you are in my thoughts even though I only know you through this forum, I know your heartache, I feel I know you too.

Yes unfortunately we are in a terrible place together. this is one group that I always felt so sorry for but never wanted to join. I am sorry for the loss of your son. I know that time makes things better but not sure when that happens. I have cried more tears in the last 10 wks than I have in my entire life combined.

And yes we know each others heartache all too well.

Yes we have been to the fort on memorial day for many years and this year we just couldn't go. It just wouldn't seem right. Jeff loved the fort like we all do.

Well I am at work so I can't anymore as the tears are starting to fall just writing this.

Thanks for writing and again I am very sorry for the loss of you son.

 

[liv luvs disney]

Dan, my baby girl turned 10 today and when she came stumbling into the kitchen this morning, I felt a little guilty as I wished her happy birthday and was quick to remember your loss. Though I've not experienced the depth of your grief, as a parent, I can only imagine the pain you and your wife are in. That alone tears at my heart. Please know you are still in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[sjs314]

Yes unfortunately we are in a terrible place together. this is one group that I always felt so sorry for but never wanted to join. I am sorry for the loss of your son. I know that time makes things better but not sure when that happens. I have cried more tears in the last 10 wks than I have in my entire life combined.

And yes we know each others heartache all too well.

Yes we have been to the fort on memorial day for many years and this year we just couldn't go. It just wouldn't seem right. Jeff loved the fort like we all do.

Well I am at work so I can't anymore as the tears are starting to fall just writing this.

Thanks for writing and again I am very sorry for the loss of you son.

Thank you very much. We only visited WDW one year during Memorial Day but each Holiday brings its own unique memories.

We thought we would never be able to go back to Disney but then after watching the Christmas Parade this year and thinking how we had talked so many times of going to WDW at Christmas Time we decided to plan a trip. It will be DH, myself, DS(older brother) and DS wife. I know it will be hard especially seeing my DS who passed favorite ride-Splash Mt, I know I will cry, most likely more than once, but hey I still cry at least once or twice a day when something pops into my head about my son, as you said I have cried so many tears these past 10 months next week will be 11 months which does not seem possible, I know my Jason would hate to see me cry so much but I just can not help it.

I plan on buying a ballon when in MK and letting it go up to my son in heaven, I know he will be there in my heart on this trip and I think he will be looking down and seeing Disney at Christmastime.

I am rambling and the tears are flowing but that is nothing new of late...take care my DIS friend

 

[DisneyBishops]

Tonight will be 12 weeks since I last got to talk to Jeff. I still can't believe that when I talked to him would be the last time he talked to me. Not even 4 hrs after that he was dead.

I still say to anyone who listens don't waste a minute of time with your children. I know they can make you mad but still it can change so frigging fast.

I want to thank all of you for letting me vent and all the nice things you have said and done.

I don't post on here much anymore. It is just hard to post and it is still hard to deal with. Not a day goes by that I don't shed tears for my beloved son.

RIP Jeff I love you bud

 

[fldisneymommyto2]

Dan.. I know we have never met, but I live in Palm Bay and there is a truck that I pass on my way out of my neighborhood that still says RIP Jeff... I always think of you when I see that truck. I guess my point is that his friends are still thinking of him too! Take care

 

[Millermouseketeers]

I am praying for you, Dan.

 

[auntie]

Was thinking of you today Dan..then I saw your post.
Please know you are never far from our thoughts.