Odd conversation at work

[PaulaSB12]

Before I write about the conversation I have to go back a couple of years. There was a man at work who I spoke to who decided that he wanted to go out with me, that he really loved me. He tried buying gifts (which I didn't take) so I found gifts of food in my work bag in the canteen, so I stopped leaving it in there and left it in my locker. In the end he got the message met someone else fell in love and got married. Now this gets mentioned as I have been told many times I should have dated him and how selfish I was not to date him. I was talking to 2 women 1 in her 20's and one in her 30's (she is married) who both agreed that I should have dated and even married him because (despite the fact I found him irritating) it was unconditional love and I may have fallen for him later and it would be better to be with someone than be alone!!!!!!!!!! Depressing or what. I am still glad I held my ground and I am sure he is now he has a wife who loves him not a wife who chose him out of pity.

 

[Chilly]

That is the most stupid thing i've ever heard, if you'd married him you probably would be divorced by now or in jail for killing him so you wouldn't be any better off.

 

[natalielongstaff]

mARRIAGE IS HARD ENOUGH IF YOU DO LOVE SOMEONE......can't imagine what it would be like if you didn't

 

[misskrystal]

I used to get that all the time. I had a friend in college who had feelings for me (and told everyone on the course ). I never felt the same way, yet all of our friends told me I should be with him (despite me having no interest) and were angry when I dated someone else.

Why is it people think they have a right to meddle in you private life? I don't think they'd appreciate me trying to tell them who to be with!

 

[Goofyish]

I think Heather Mills used the same theory - she's done quite well out of it

 

[scottishsue]

I really can't imagine marrying someone out of pity. It just wouldn't last at all.

I agree with Nat.......... marriage is hard enough even when you love the person. My parents were very much in love when they met - that's why they lasted 61 years together.

 

[Minniespal]

What a strange statement to make.

Unconditional love on the part of one person may be enough in the short term but not enough to see you though the long term.

I'm a counsellor and have had clients tell me they are in love with me. The misinterpret unconditional support and understanding with love.

It sounds as if you both made the right choices. As others have said marriage is difficult enough, at times, with someone you do love. After all who is to say that even though he loved you unconditionally the marriage would still have survived. You would probably have ended up resenting him and he would, sooner or later have needed your love in return.