Obsessive/Compulsive ...are they illogical?

[annegal]

This is sooo petty....but geesh!!

I have a co-worker (very young)who is obsessed with order and neatness . Her workspace is neat and orderly, which is fine. I work in a very busy flowershop & most of our individual work space is a pile of leaves, branches and disorder that we occasionally clean up during the day.

Last week she spent a looongg time putting out new ribbon and organizing it. It looked nice.

Yesterday, before she came to work (she only works 6 hours daily), manager said too much duplicate ribbon was out (all of us standing around agreed we only needed one bolt out of any color)-there were 3 to 4 bolts of many colors and there was another box needing to be put out, so I started taking all the duplicates off and in a box and putting all the other ribbon out.I put it all by color...one row of pink, one of blue etc

She got to work, her station is in front of the ribbon, and she was horrified! "Who messed up my ribbon??" She was clearly upset....I'm right by her & said " We decided there was too many duplicate bolts out, so we put the extras away"...She then goes on with..."But I had all the satin ribbon on the left rack and all the chiffon ribbon on the right rack...".


...I actually think she may have had them arranged from lightest to darkest , too!

I then walk to the back for a few minutes.

So I walk back towards her and very angrily she say " When you say we , you really mean you, right? It was you who decided to do this?" She was beyond mad, and I'm thinking "Whoa Nellie???"""

I just blurted out "My gosh, its just friggin ribbon, Sue, get over it already"

She never looked me in the eye the rest of the day, would not speak to me, and took herself off "My friends" list of MySpace. (Isn't this silly???)

I have written her an apology, saying I didn't mean to hurt her feelings by moving the ribbon"
-I don't know what else to dooooo......

 

[NewJersey]

Eh, I would just let it go. She needs to realize that it's not just her shop...others use it too and it's nice she organized it but there's no need to get in a tissy about it. I think she over reacted a bit but her feelings do have to be taken into account to an extent because for alot of people this is an actual disorder. I'm OCD to an extent, but I wouldn't react the way she did.

Why do people think Myspace friends list is like the epicentre of the social scene?

 

[AprilShowers]

Feel sorry for this woman. Her whole life is controlled by this disorder. I'm not excusing her behavior towards you. BUT she can't help how she felt when she saw all that ribbon "messed up".

It makes no sense to us "normal people" but she can't function if things aren't orderly. And you sent her into a tailspin by "messing it all up"!
Of course you didn't mean it and were just doing your job.
This is why you should feel sorry for her. She's a MESS inside over RIBBON!!!!

Imagine the agony she must endure over the big things.........

 

[bosstoboss]

I live with one (my husband). If a picture is crooked on the kitchen desk, he straightens it out. His side of the closet is the neatest, of course mine looks normal. I think it might be a control thing, don't know for sure, please no flames!!! I am living with this (20 years now). It has more of a plus, my house is completely neat because of his disorder!! Me and my kids just look at each other and nod our heads. If my car gets dirty from the salt out on the roads, the next morning when I get up, it is sparkly clean!! It's like having a fairy godfather!!!

 

[NewJersey]

I live with one (my husband). If a picture is crooked on the kitchen desk, he straightens it out. His side of the closet is the neatest, of course mine looks normal. I think it might be a control thing, don't know for sure, please no flames!!! I am living with this (20 years now). It has more of a plus, my house is completely neat because of his disorder!! Me and my kids just look at each other and nod our heads. If my car gets dirty from the salt out on the roads, the next morning when I get up, it is sparkly clean!! It's like having a fairy godfather!!!

Your DH sounds a lot like me, and my SO sounds a lot like you.

 

[tevagirl]

I'm very territorial over my work area. Don't be touching my pencil!!

But, I would never go off on someone like she did. Maybe she has other issues going on right now?

Even if she does, it's no excuse to be acting that way.

She took you off her MySpace friends list? Oh no, how will you ever go on?

 

[Hannathy]

I would have pointed out the we included the manager and said or if you prefer I could change it to_________(insert manager's name) wants it that way. Not that it is important that she took you off her list-big whoop- but why should you take all the blame.

 

[kidzmom3]

moving the ribbon"
-I don't know what else to dooooo......

This may not have been the most tactful way of dealing with her. It does sound as if she was inappropriate with you, but what you said is very derogatory.

True OCD is an anxiety disorder, obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or "rituals") which attempt to neutralize the obsessions. Part of this can be crazy neatness.

 

[need_a_Disney_fix]

I am officially diagnosed OCD and if you want proof just look for my thread regarding the LL Bean hanging toiletry thingy. After so many responses I still can't make up my mind which size to get. I am the most illogical logical person I know.

 

[Disney-For-Life]

I am a clean freak and need to have everything in a specific place, but it is more out of efficiency than anything else... but it sounds like her expectations were too high considering this is a public work area. I would sympathize with her situation more if it was just her work section. Her reaction was very emotional, and although inappropriate, I do feel that she might have been genuinely trying to help with the organization of the work space in an effort to help the business. Unfortunately she needs to realize that it is not her place to do so. Your reaction of "get over it already!" certainly did not improve the situation considering how much work she did. I bet she feels unappreciated so I hope your letter addressed this. From now, you will need to use a softer approach.

 

[dcentity2000]

OCD sucks.

It's not life threatening but it can be debilitating and incredibly distressing.



Rich::

 

[DisneyFan06]

No flames please...

I guess you can consider me to be the same. I mean, I am a total neat freak. I am so very organized and I need everything in a proper place. Are you saying I am illogical? I am obsessed with having a clear house, working space, and physical environment. If I am missing something I would freak because I can't find it. Therefore, I would tear everything up and clean the room again. Are you saying I am illogical? Because, I am not.

I think that there is a difference. I do not think being a clean freak or being a very organized person is related to Obessive Compulsive disorder in any way shape or form. But that is just me speaking my opinion.

I am sane and also believe that everyone is obessive or compulsive about something in their life, if they care to admit it.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I live with one (my husband). If a picture is crooked on the kitchen desk, he straightens it out. His side of the closet is the neatest, of course mine looks normal. I think it might be a control thing, don't know for sure, please no flames!!! I am living with this (20 years now). It has more of a plus, my house is completely neat because of his disorder!! Me and my kids just look at each other and nod our heads. If my car gets dirty from the salt out on the roads, the next morning when I get up, it is sparkly clean!! It's like having a fairy godfather!!!

Hey, where can I get me one of those??

It is sad if it causes a person extreme anxiety and/or hurts their relationships. I would do my best to be considerate towards a person I knew had the disorder, but I would only go out of my way to an extent. It is their condition to manage. You did good by offering an apology, and now it's up to her to get over it.

 

[bosstoboss]

"I am sane and also believe that everyone is obessive or compulsive about something in their life, if they care to admit it."

I truly believe this too. I am also a clean freak, especially my bathrooms and my kids rooms!!

 

[DisneyFan06]

"I am sane and also believe that everyone is obessive or compulsive about something in their life, if they care to admit it."

I truly believe this too. I am also a clean freak, especially my bathrooms and my kids rooms!!

Yes, I am so happy that someone agrees with me. I learned this in several psychology courses that I have taken throughout my college career.

 

[PixieDustTink]

My son has OCD, he doesn't do the repetitive behaviours he just has the intrusive, constant running thoughts. OMG! Last year was just horrible. It drove him nuts trying to function with this. Going to school and trying to stop this running constant dialogue that wouldn't quit in his head WHILE trying to do his schoolwork. With some people this is sooo horrible they simply cannot function. The repetitive behavior controls these AWFUL fast, hard hitting constant non stop dialoge in their heads for some people.

She got upset because TO HER, she is completely emotionally and mentally at risk and out of control with her thoughts IF anything is out of order!

I am happy to say that my son is on meds now and doing pretty well and he didn't get to having to repeat certain behavior or get to controlling this horrible racing thoughts thing with any control of his physical environment.

I will say this, I saw what torture this was. How he would say "I can't LIVE like this mom! It just doesn't EVER stop all day, it's all I can do to go to school and sit there." He was having up to seven full blown panic attacks a day that were sooo bad he SWORE during them that he was having a heart attack.

Blow off what she did, and she really needs to find a good doctor so she can sit down when needed and explain what goes on for her, there CAN be compromises so it's not as hard on everyone. But believe me, what she is living with is far, far harder than anything I would ever want to have to deal with. She likely feels very bad about responding that way, knows you would feel upset with her but, can't control her reactions, she is probably too ashamed to discuss this with you all and hasnt' got the tools to do it either.

It's too bad there are those with OCD that really don't have very good doctors or ways of addressing OCD. OCD is NOT just someone who has to keep things clean and orderly...lol, yes everyone has obsessions to some degree. This is not that. Wow. You work with her?? I know being around this can be very trying at times....having seen what they do live with every single waking moment though......I feel nothing but, compassion....for everyone touched by this disorder.

 

[rie'smom]

I always move placemats 1/2 inch away from the table's edge and the flatware is 1/2 inch away from the placemat's edge. Heaven forbid the servers don't place the flatware in the correct order. My closet is organized by color. Also, I straighten pictures on walls. All of these I do not only at my house but everywhere. My nightstand on the other hand-ugh.

 

[Sparx]

OCD is an awful disorder.
YES, they are illogical, but they can't help it. It totally stressed her out when she saw that the ribbon had been changed, and it will bother her every time she sees it until she fixes it again.

She can however, help the way she acted with you.

But, to her, its not just a "friggin ribbon".

I have an OCD friend, and she has to touch things a certain way. It can be really stressful and time consuming for her. We all just sit back and let her do it.

 

[julie_yet]

That woman needs help. I feel bad for people with OCD. It takes up so much of your life.

I have OCD tendencies and little things used to really bother me. I could feel myself slowly getting worse and I was starting to perform rituals. I even had this motion I would make with my fingers in a certain pattern. Almost like a nervous tick. I made a conscious effort to stop myself and if I noticed I was doing something in a pattern, like making sure all the towels were folded "correctly" and stacked by size and color, I'd mess them up on purpose and leave it that way.

Eventually all the little things ceased to bother me and the nagging thoughts weren't as strong. When that happened I noticed that I didn't make the pattern with my fingers any more. It just kind of went away.

 

[CathrynRose]

Im OCD - I actually have Trichotillamania, along with being OCD about germs.

Although wacky - your co-worker WAS stressed about what was done. I cant tell you how ANGRY it makes me when a co-worker will come in coughing and hacking and sniffling and stand anywhere near me, or use my pen's, or grab my phone. I mean, it INFURIATES ME, and I know it's OCD - but I dont want their nasty germs near me!!!

Its hard being like this - it really is. I gotta tell you, I had surgery yesterday and the anesthesiologist (sp???) was a smidge sniffly when he came to talk to me... I swear to you, it took all my self control not to ask him if he was sick and if so, could I have someone else? Its THAT bad, your thoughts can be. I just imagined him standing over me for XXX amount of time, sniffling and coughing.

And quite frankly, I think the only reason I DIDNT ask him, was he shot me up with a sedative too soon. And if I end up sniffley in the next few days, Ill be totally mad at him!!!!

So, try and understand - as wacky as it seems, it's not wacky to her. I know my co-workers are annoyed with me wiping down everything with alocohol CONSTANTLY!