O.K. Mom's of Teenage Girls??

[LvsTnk]

I never thought I would be asking, but do all girls go through this horrible mean stuff in their teens with their friends at school. I have heard that maybe they do?

I never had all these problems we were pretty nice to each other. My DD has been having a hard time this year and the parents seem to condone this behavior.

I guess I am more upset than she is, always asking about things and feeling very bad for her.

Do you guys just let them do their own thing and give advice when asked? I need some advice on how to react to all of this. Any help appreciated!!

 

[Serena]

Some can get pretty nasty. My dd's been through a lot. She's a flirt and a lot of girls can't stand it, including some girls she thought were friends.
Sometimes it will blow over in a couple days, sometimes not. Goodluck.

 

[missymouse3367]

I hope all goes well for you. I try to remain as open-minded as I can. I have a hard time not screaming out my true feelings, my DH and I try to talk about things then give our mutual opinion. Good Luck.

 

[LvsTnk]

Laurie, I just got done reading your thread, and I am just at the beginning!!

My older son is almost 16 and I asked him about the girls at his school how they get along he said sometimes there is alot of "drama" LOL!

 

[Nancy]

Teenage girls look all nice and sweet on the outside, but some of them have a really nasty streak in them. DD (14) tells me it's the norm at school. I've overheard some of her friends talking and it just makes me cringe!! They can be so nasty! I have a strong feeling my DD can also be nasty, but I better not EVER here it or hear that she was from someone else. She knows my feelings on the subject, we've discussed in a number of times.

 

[Serena]

I would try not to comment too much. Regardless of what you say, they will find a way for it to be totally wrong. If she asks then you can make some noncommital comment. But otherwise, let her deal with it if she can.

You might want to make sure she has a diary or journal to write things down. My dd loves hers. It helps sorting through all those teenage emotions.

 

[Lars624]

LvsTnk-I understand what your going through. My DD13 had a rough time with some of her very best friends at the end of last school year. They just decided not to speak to her all of a sudden & it went on for about 3 months. One of the girls is the DD of one of my closest friends & the parents had nothing to say about their daughters behavior except to and say "13 year old girls can be mean". It eventually blew over and things are fine now, she's still hanging out with all the same girls, but as far as I know she still doesn't know why it ever happened. While it was going on I drove her nuts asking how she was doing & who she sat with at lunch & if she saw those girls...etc... I think it hurts us Moms almost as much as it does our daughters. The best thing I can say is to just be supportive of her & try to help her in any way she wants you to, but not to overstep if she'd rather you didn't.
I agree that I don't think we were quite so mean, but I do remember some pretty awful things being said & done to two of the girls in my 8th grade class by the other girls.
I hope things will work out for your daughter.
{{hugs}} to both of you.

 

[LvsTnk]

That's me asking, asking and I guess I need to stop

I appreciate hearing your stories, thanks for sharing!!

Anyone gone through their teen years in a state of bliss LOL

 

[Dan Murphy]

I remember those days when Natalie was in school. Some of the girls and groups were pretty tough, nasty.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Be alert and help your dd "see" choices to work out things, is probably the best advice. Look at her as you are training her for the adult world & tell her that.
I always ask how my kids day was and if they are real grouchy I know something is wrong. That is my indicator to ask further questions.

 

[Chris2597]

Teenage girls can be something else. My yougest dd is 14 and she hangs with a group of girls that have all known each other since pre-school and kinder and boy can they get mad at each other. They are mad as hornets one minute and best friends the next. I don't worry too much about it because I think she gets as good as she gives......and things always work out in the group. I keep an eye on it/ All of the moms are friends and we know the routine with this bunch. One of the girls started this behavior in Elem. school(it shocked me since I didn't deal with this with my older dd) and when it escalated to a point I talked to the girls mom and she pretty much told me if her dd wanted to act that way she could....I was shocked..When dd displays this now I let her know I don't approve..On the other hand my oldest dd was the very sensitive shy type and really had a hard time coping with the realities of being a middle school girl.She is 24 now and still remembers how painful those years were for her. She didn't have it in her to give as good as she got.

 

[LvsTnk]

Thanks Guys!! I didn't sleep much last night thinking about the situation. Unfortunately it helps to know this is not unusual, your posts are helping me to be a good Mom I was kinda getting lost in the poor kid thing.

I was surprised to see that the parents of the girls did not do much to adress the situation but I see that is pretty common too.

Seems like this is just something the girls have to get over

 

[Serena]

{{{hugs}}}

 

[Lars624]

{{{{hugs}}}}

 

[luv2nascar]

I feel your pain
I am not looking forward to the teenage years
DD is only 7 so I can't offer any advise
hard to know when to get involved and when to stay back

 

[LvsTnk]

Thanks for the support! Tomorrow is Monday Yipee!!

 

[snoopy]

When I had my two sons, people kept asking me if I would try again for a girl. As much as I love the idea of having a little girl, I don't relish having a teenage girl. Girls of that age can be so rotten to one another. I remember all too clearly.

{{{hugs}}} LvsTnk, this too shall pass. She has a rough road to hoe for the next couple of years, but most of us all make it through unscathed, for the most part.

 

[abaldacci]

Girls can be nasty. Mine gives and gets. I'm sure just by the little things I hear. I did not play games like that when I was in school.
You are my friend or you're not. I am still that way to this day.

 

[trayletha]

I read an article about that sort of thing a couple of months ago - it was about a book called "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees" (I think) - I haven't read it, but plan to, maybe it could give you some ideas on dealing with it.

Good luck and {{{Hugs}}} to you and your DD.

 

[LvsTnk]

I almost started to just crumble like she was, so you have no idea how grateful I am for your posts. I want her to be the best person she can be and taking the low road is all too easy.

At least now I am on the right track with what I should be telling her. But, since she goes to a parochial school (I know don't laugh I am amazed) she has started begging to go to public school.