Nurses comment - a little taken back

[Lorix2]

momof2inpa - I don't expect anyone to agree with me, I wanted to know what other mom's would have done and I got alot of answers. I did NOT give the nurse the "3rd degree", I simply asked her questions and just to let you know since you asked... I DID explain why the nurse was being discreet and also told her that her weight is fine and that she is where she is supposed to be. The nurse didn't seem offended, but you certainly do for some reason

 

[disneymom3]

No. In all honesty, I see absolutely nothing to get upset about here. Now if the lady had weighed your daughter and exclaimed "Holy Heck OINK OINK OINK!!" That would be something to speak up about. If the lady had weighed your daughter and sniffed "Good Lord eat a cookie why don't you!" That would be something to speak up about.

Umm, yeah, I think that would be something to switch Drs about.

As far as the OP, I probably wouldn't have said something to the nurse, but I make a major point of telling DD regularly that she is a healthy weight and size. I am overweight and am working hard to lose and I want to make sure she sees that this is something I have a problem with not women in general. I would guess the nurse was trying to be discreet etc. Hard to know not having experienced it first hand.

 

[BuckNaked]

Since your daughter specifically asked as part of her exam, making a production of telling her suggests there is something wrong or embarassing about the answer.

She handed her a piece of paper for God's sake - that's hardly a "production".

As for that "proportional" response by the nurse, I don't see how that added to the exam.

Gee, let's think...it could have been that the nurse, having seen the reaction of the daughter to the weight, and the overreaction of the mother to the daughter reacting to the weight, might have wanted to point out that there was no problem with the weight.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Maybe you're over-reacting, maybe not. Only that nurse knows what was in her heart. But you were there and would be a better judge than I.

I have no idea why she'd put it in a calculator, though. Doesn't really make sense to me, regardless of the number.

Where I work, the people who take patient's weights are not supposed to automatically read it out for them. Same deal with BPs and Temperatures. Some people don't want others to hear it and some don't want to hear it themselves.

IF the patients ASK, though, they are always told. There are no privacy issues that prevent you from telling the flippin patient themself about their weight.

 

[ToriLammy]

Sorry, I don't think there was anything wrong with what the nurse did. In fact, I think it was a sensitive thing to do. Many young girls don't want their weight advertised, even if it's just in front of their mom. I think the unfortunate part was drawing attention to the fact that the nurse showed her instead of announcing it, thereby putting the nurse on the defensive and making alot more of the situation than was really necessary.

I agree, sounds like the nurse was just being sensitive. Better to do it that way then announce outloud and have the girl react negatively. If the girl wants mom or anyone else to know she can speak up, not the nurse.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not only should the mother speak to the pediatrician about the nurse's horrendous comment but she should also contact the state licensing board and report her for her "indiscretion". I can't think of anything worse than keying in someone's weight on a calculator. Next thing you know, she will be letting her get undressed in private! What a "nitwit"! Edited to add, if this poor, vulnerable teenager develops anorexia or bullemia, it will all date back to that one incident. How fragile our kids are!

As one who suffered an eating disorder--I don't find your sarcasm remotely funny.

A small framed female on ONE ideal weight range site--places the ideal weight between 114 and 127.

So Miss Nurse's comment wasn't necessary.

She's a nitwit.

Roll your eyes all you want--are you even familiary with the healthy weight ranges of 5 foot 4 females? Her proportion comment was unnecessary.

 

[BuckNaked]

Her proportion comment was unnecessary.

The mother asked her to tell the daughter that her weight was fine - so what was wrong with the proportion comment?

 

[DawnCt1]

Roll your eyes all you want--are you even familiary with the healthy weight ranges of 5 foot 4 females? Her proportion comment was unnecessary.

No, never! I went from 21 inches long to 5'7". I would see her comment as reassurance, not criticism.

 

[justhat]

I would have thought she wrote it down simply for the girl's privacy. After all even if she didn't care if the mom heard her weight, what about other people in the office? Anyone could have walked by and overheard if the nurse had just yelled out her weight and then she could have been in the position of the girl saying "Hey, I know that person, I didn't want them to know what I weigh!" It would not have even occurred to me that the nurse was implying the girl was overweight.

Since I'm pregnant I get weighed a lot and the nurse has never once said my weight aloud. She just writes it on a piece of paper and that's that. And let me tell you how happy that made me with my first pregnancy when I eventually outweighed my husband. He came to every visit but would wait in the room while I went in the hallway to get weighed. If she had yelled out my weight I would have never heard the end of the teasing from him!

 

[yeartolate]

I am not to sure it was not all just a misunderstanding.

Lots of folks (skinny and fat - especially young women) don't wan't their weight said out loud.

Then there are privacy laws which are heavily enforced. (HIPAA).The HIPAA crap is making everyone crazy.It has alot of nurses caught between a rock and a hard spot throughout the day.

I wasn't there, but it just seems like much ado about nothing.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Since I'm pregnant I get weighed a lot and the nurse has never once said my weight aloud. She just writes it on a piece of paper and that's that.

This surprises me...

In all the offices we utilize (regular doc and OB/Gyn)--I can read the scale for myself as could my girls when they are old enough to realize what the number is.

So it is strange to me that there is all the hush hush secrets at all. If you want to know you look--if you don't, you don't.

Often times I am setting the little thing-a-ma-bobs anyway.

Now I am wondering about the secret scales.

 

[Cool-Beans]

This surprises me...

In all the offices we utilize (regular doc and OB/Gyn)--I can read the scale for myself as could my girls when they are old enough to realize what the number is.

So it is strange to me that there is all the hush hush secrets at all. If you want to know you look--if you don't, you don't.

Often times I am setting the little thing-a-ma-bobs anyway.

Now I am wondering about the secret scales.

Our scales are digital, and the reading comes out in kilograms, not pounds. People always have to ask for the conversion.

But I still think, if someone ASKS me a question, they want an answer. I don't immediately assume that they DON'T want me to answer the question and go about figuring out a way to secretly reply. That seems odd. Maybe not ill-intentioned. But odd, all the same.

 

[justhat]

This surprises me...

In all the offices we utilize (regular doc and OB/Gyn)--I can read the scale for myself as could my girls when they are old enough to realize what the number is.

So it is strange to me that there is all the hush hush secrets at all. If you want to know you look--if you don't, you don't.

Often times I am setting the little thing-a-ma-bobs anyway.

Now I am wondering about the secret scales.

It's a digital scale with the screen a little lower than my hips. I can see the screen if I peer over my belly, so I know what my weight is on the days I care to look, but I said my husband never knew cause he would sit in the exam room while I left with the nurse to be weighed in the hallway and then go into the bathroom to get my sample. She's just write it down on a sheet of paper, never say it aloud, then type it into my chart on the computer in the exam room. This time I don't care really cause I have gained way less (I had about 15-20 pounds of water last time, I looked like a balloon!) and he cant' come to any of my appts anyway so it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

aha--that makes sense. My last ob/midwife still had the old type scale--will have to see what the new place has.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I, too, suffered from a eating disorder and what the nurse did does not bother me in the least. Eatind disorders have to do with control issues, not what some nurse or other person thinks. She didn't do anything wrong and she didn't say anything wrong.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I, too, suffered from a eating disorder and what the nurse did does not bother me in the least. Eatind disorders have to do with control issues, not what some nurse or other person thinks. She didn't do anything wrong and she didn't say anything wrong.

I never said the nurses comment would cause an eating disorder.

I was merely commenting on Dawn's sarcasm that I did not find funny.

 

[justhat]

aha--that makes sense. My last ob/midwife still had the old type scale--will have to see what the new place has.

My last OT post, but so did my OB till I was about 16 weeks along. Then they got new digital scales, which I have to admit are kinda nice cause the screen is right under my belly so on the days I did not want to look with my 1st pregnancy I didn't have to!

 

[disykat]

It makes perfect sense to me for the nurse to just show the calculator. (As for the calculator - heck, even my vet has a calculator to convert my dog's weight to pounds for me) Her comment implied nothing other than recognizing the fact that many people don't want their weight said outloud. Her proportion comment came AFTER the OP made a huge deal out of insisting the nurse tell her dd she was normal weight. The nurse may not have felt comfortable doing so without qualifiers.

Lorix, I think you're off base on your insistance that she was insinuating that your dd's weight is something to be ashamed of. Just because you took it that way, doesn't mean she meant it that way. I think you overreacted and were the one who turned your dd's weight into an issue. I'm guessing the nurse was probably telling the story later as a "I can't believe after all the people who don't want their weight said outloud, I actually had a mom give me grief for not saying her daughter's weight outloud!" The nurse did nothing wrong and your accusations were unfounded IMO.

 

[Lorix2]

No, no, no Disykat! This is what everyone is misunderstanding!

I DO NOT believe that the nurse was insinuating that my DD was fat - it was the fact that she the nurse said "I won't say it out loud" and showed it on a calculator when my DD asked her for her weight, which I thought made my DD feel it was something to be embarrassed about since my DD worries about her weight in a negative way. I just thought it was really odd. My DD never asked her to keep it quiet or show her, my DD expected a verbal answer.

I was not insulted by the nurse or think she was trying to make my DD feel bad about herself in any way.

 

[KirstenB]

I think the nurse was trying to be discreet. As others have said, many people don't like to hear their weight out loud. Teenagers have to be the most sensitive (at least about themselves) people on earth. I don't think the nurse did anything wrong. Sometimes, you just can't win.