Nurse Tammy's "Waiting for ROFR" Support Group - The Sequel

[dvcnewgirl]

Thanks Grandbuddy for the PM, I am currently at MCO waiting to go home. It was a great trip AKL is awesome, I miss my giraffe already.. We had such a good time. Stopped and got our basket at TTS it is wonderful! I hope things get faster for all of those waiting, as soon as I find the right thing I may join you. LAXmom I am sorry you are having those issues it is too bad. Chat soon.

 

[colonialtinker]

Good morning. I found the site All I had to do was click on the link on the last post.

Laxmom - Is your son's team a school team?

I have Eleanor Rigby playing in my head this morning
Kristen - Can't wait to read your trip report, did you ever get a camera?

Time to start working everyone have a Great Day

 

[HolidayRoad]

You police guys, could these kids parents file assault charges? There is one of the parents that I think would if she finds out what happened to her son. I am not sure he will tell her for that reason. I think it depends on how this is handled. I know we told Laxlad that we would give him the chance to handle it - he and the other 2 involved went to the JV coach and will go to the V coach if the previous doesn't handle the situation. He was standing right there and had to duck a thrown helmet. He finds this whole situation totally unacceptable regardless of the circumstances. You just don't turn on a team mate.

O.K. as a "Police guy" the answer is yes they could file charges. With the way things are with violence in schools today, who knows how that would end up.
Obviously there are issues here and as someone who has coached for many moons, as an outsider, it sounds like the coach is losing control which is very common, more common than people think. I am out of a coaching job myself because of a similar situation. The head coach where I was is a real self centered jerk and when things go south he buries his head. Things get straitened out because there were a few assistant coaches, myself included who would step in and do the dirty work and then he would get the credit from the administrators for solving an issue. Issues mind you that if he had his way he never would have gotten involved in. He was always too busy talking to reporters and kissing up to the administrators. After a bunch of years of this crap I had to move on I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of making him look good and then getting thrown under the bus as soon as an administrator had an issue with something the coaching staff or football player did. People that don't really know him think he's great, nice guy, it's all BS. There are a lot of coaches like that out there. If your son's coach is like that he will turn his back on the whole incident. Maybe he'll bring it up in front of the whole team if pushed a little and say something to the effect that he didn't see it but he heard there was an issue and that he never wants this kind of thing to happen again, lip service. See if he acts on it then administrators may find out there was an issues and he will look bad so you don't handle the situation you just hope it goes away. If your son's coach isn't like this then I missed something in the post and sorry for waisting your time. If this describes your son's coach then, my suggestion is to not only have parents approach him about the situation but to threaten to go to school administrators on his lack of responsibility because at this point he can't avoid the situation anymore he either acts on it and hopes for the best or he gets in trouble, at this point, for reasons of self preservation he will act on it, albeit as lightly as he can. These kinds of coaches will be told of other of situations that anyone can see coming up, trouble on the horizon but they are always reactive never proactive. When the "stuff" hits the fan no matter who told them how many times this would happen they always look and act shocked because there plan was to simply hope it all goes away.

Sorry for rambling but I can't help it when it comes to coaching situations. Good luck, I really hope it works out for the best.

 

[horselover]

It was a rough night. I need your help. A fight broke out at practice last night. One kid hit another player out of the blue with his stick across the back - not part of play. When another tried to break up the scuffle that ensued, the instigator grabbed his face mask and swung him in a semi circle and threw him down. He then proceeded to take his gloves off and punch the kid. He ended up grabbing the kid under his arm with his arm around his neck. The coach saw none of it. This is the kid that was only trying to break up the scuffle!! Last week, one player yelled at a teacher and another put his fist into a locker rather than hit another student. This is really getting out of control.....fast!! I know these kids are hurting but ......lacrosse already has a bad reputation of violence across the country. This could get out of hand and jeopardize the program. They preach the concept of "warrior gentleman" to the kids. Now they need to enforce it before someone gets hurt. Laxlad is ready to call it a season if they do not do something; they have 3 games left. I am concerned for his safety from his own team mates. I am more concerned about him being at practice than I am him playing a game - at least the game has referees to keep things under control. There are supposed to be 2 coaches there for each team but that hasn't been the case.

You police guys, could these kids parents file assault charges? There is one of the parents that I think would if she finds out what happened to her son. I am not sure he will tell her for that reason. I think it depends on how this is handled. I know we told Laxlad that we would give him the chance to handle it - he and the other 2 involved went to the JV coach and will go to the V coach if the previous doesn't handle the situation. He was standing right there and had to duck a thrown helmet. He finds this whole situation totally unacceptable regardless of the circumstances. You just don't turn on a team mate.

Wow, Laxmom I'm so sorry for what your son is going through. That is totally unacceptable. My DS8 just starting playing lacrosse 2 weeks ago. I hope this isn't what we have to look forward to in the future. I don't have any real insight, but if it were me I would absolutely make sure the coaches resolve the situation. If that doesn't work go to the principal & if need be I'd take it to the Superintendent. You should not have to worry about your DS coming home with a serious injury that is in no way related to actually playing lacrosse. I hate to hear that he's losing his joy for the sport. I hope it all gets resolved & I'll keep good thoughts for you & your DS.

 

[HolidayRoad]

Wow, up to page 3 on the new thread already! Don't forget to add me to the waiting list. I've been deleted I feel so unwanted!

Your on the list!! Unless you are waiting to close and you slipped by me , I have you on the waiting for ROFR list! Page 1 of this new thread. Please let me know if you have moved on!

 

[minniekissedme]

I hate to admit this but all this musical talk and the new thread has me thinking of Barry Manilow...

"Looks like we made it..."

 

[Laxmom]

Horselover, one fact that may have gotten lost on the last thread was that one of their team mates killed himself last week. Laxlad has played for 3 years and this has been anything but a normal season.

Lax is not a school sanctioned sport yet. It is pay to play but the team wears the school uniform. The school provides the venue and the transportation for away games. We pay for the coaches salaries and the cost of referees; usually $300 per year/ per kid. We have a paid coaching staff of 5, none of which are technically school employees either as teachers or, really, as coaches. They do report to the athletic director who hires and fires. Strange, I know. We are working to get the school to pay their salaries for next season. Last year was the first year that the kids could earn a letter for lacrosse and this is our 6th year having a team.

This is a real test for our coaches. They haven't had to face anything like this so it will be interesting to see what happens. I honestly don't know how they will respond. This is a first; there is no history to go on.

The good news is that Laxlad isn't losing his love of the sport. The bad news is he may lose his respect for his coaches depending on how they respond. Lacrosse is such a great sport and beginning to get community support here. This could really have some far reaching effects. Still waiting and watching...
thanks guys. Home from work for a bit - stomach issues this am. I think with everything over the past week, my stress level is thru the roof!

On another note. ..Laxlad cracks me up! He has started listening to an oldies station and wants to download several songs to his Ipod. What a renaissance man!! Paul McCartney right there with Fall Out Boy!

Anxious for that trip report, Kristen. I am anxious to hear about AKV!!

 

[mickeyfan0805]

Home from work for a bit - stomach issues this am. I think with everything over the past week, my stress level is thru the roof!

Laxmom - hope you feel better. Take the time to take care of yourself, it has been quite a stretch for you. You remain in my prayers.

 

[GoofyDad13]

I have Eleanor Rigby playing in my head this morning

Great, I had it in my head all last night, and now it is back.

I hate to admit this but all this musical talk and the new thread has me thinking of Barry Manilow...

"Looks like we made it..."

Now I have this scary combination of the two going on at the same time. Eleanor Rigby with Barry Manilow singing backup.

 

[Laxmom]

Used to love Barry Manilow...not so much his ego. Used to love Paul McCartney...not so much his ego. I think I will hum Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Brudda Iz's version.

 

[mickeyfan0805]

I think I will hum Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Brudda Iz's version.

Getting that in my head - NOT COOL!!!

Ok, I'll get this one going...

"mana-mana, do...do....do.do.do, mana-mana, do...do.do.do, mana-mana, do...do...do.do.do...do.do.do...do.do.do...do.do.do...do.do...do..do..do.do..do"

 

[Grandbuddy]

We pay for the coaches salaries and the cost of referees; usually $300 per year/ per kid. We have a paid coaching staff of 5, none of which are technically school employees either as teachers or, really, as coaches.

This is a real test for our coaches. They haven't had to face anything like this so it will be interesting to see what happens. I honestly don't know how they will respond.

On another note. ..Laxlad cracks me up! He has started listening to an oldies station and wants to download several songs to his Ipod. What a renaissance man!! Paul McCartney right there with Fall Out Boy!

If you're close enough to at least one more parent - and since all of you pay the coach's salary - I'd go together to the coach and make certain he's aware of the situation, and ask how he plans to handle it. Yes, if the people who witnessed the incident were inclined to give statements, charges could be filed - and Lax and everone on the team will end up with lots of publicity they don't want.

Just make certain the coach knows that:

He is responsible for the safety and welfare of all the team members. Under the circumstances, for liability (HIS) reasons, he needs to hold practice only when he has enough help to effectively supervise the boys (where are the other coaches you are paying for?)

If the instigator reoffends, the other players parents insist that he be suspended from the team (no practice, no nothing) for the remainder of the season, to ensure the safety of the other boys.

And good luck.

"...at the Copa, Copacabana..." OK, where did that come from???

Well, thanks, you guys!

 

[Grandbuddy]

Getting that in my head - NOT COOL!!!

Ok, I'll get this one going...

"mana-mana, do...do....do.do.do, mana-mana, do...do.do.do, mana-mana, do...do...do.do.do...do.do.do...do.do.do...do.do.do...do.do...do..do..do.do..do"

I can happily have Muppets tunes running around in my head. I guess I'm the only oldster here with no idea what a "Brudda Iz" might be.

 

[Princess Amy Lyn]

I was glad to see you thought that too. I told DH that the three kids that have had issues were ones with issues going in and that I wasn't certain that this was neccessarily related to recent events. Laxlad is a great kid. He wants the chance to handle it and we are letting him....but watching and waiting, ready to step in if needed. He is willing to walk away from a sport he loves although he says not permanently, just for this season. The coaches are really being tested with this one.

Wow, that was a quick visit to estoppleland for you! Wish we could all be so lucky!!

Hopefully the coach will listen to Laxlad.......that is such a tough situation to be in. So technically who is over the coaching staff?? Are the parents since you pay?? Somebody needs a meeting with the coach to offer positive help. Maybe some of the parents need to rotate and be their for practice to watch and help out for safety reasons. Or one of the 5 coaches needs to have a new job...watch the practice for trouble. I don't know...just some thoughts!
Sorry on top of everything else you are having this to worry about! Do some fun things to get the stress out....shopping, fun dinner, or whatever makes you happy!

Used to love Barry Manilow...not so much his ego. Used to love Paul McCartney...not so much his ego. I think I will hum Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Brudda Iz's version.

Great version...now I have ER scenes running in my head!

Good Morning all....hey guess what??? We got the papers!!!!!!! Just kidding.....its been 1 month today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So the papers are going to be here this week, is now down to today or tomorrow!! Hopefully we will hear something!!

 

[Princess Amy Lyn]

I forgot...I read somewhere on some post...really it exists...that someones estoppel was being held up because the sellers still owed money on the contract! They were waiting for the sellers to pay and then it could move forward! And, for the best news I don't have the record...they have waited over a month (well that is not good news for them, but I'm not the only one )

I was going to post this last night but you were all asleep!

 

[Grandbuddy]

How do you know they're not asleep, now.

OK, it's almost 10:30 here. Are you at 8:30? And is the ground being relatively still and well-behaved, today?

 

[Laxmom]

I think the AD would be the ultimate responsibility. The thing is not all coaches make all practices. Two of the 5 travel occasionally for their jobs. Two are JV and 3 are varsity. Well, last night, there was only one JV but all 3 varsity. Why one of them did not go over to JV, I don't understand. I told Laxlad that I would come to practice and he said "not necessary yet, mom". Laxlad already told me that this stuff is putting the program in jeopardy and he plans on telling him that. We will see tonite what happens.

I read that in our old thread I think, about that person already sending in money to close and then finding out there was a problem. I really thought that was what estopple was supposed to reveal. Am I wrong?

Oh, Dr. Green's death on ER!! I forgot they played that song then. It was also used in "50 First Dates" and "Meet Joe Black" if I am not mistaken. Also, Jason sang it on AI earlier this season.

Just checked - it was Rambler0678(sorry if I messed up the number part) that mentioned it on the next to the last page of our old (sniff) thread.

Amy, you got me with that one. Grandbuddy, you getting any of the nast weather in the south today?

I am vegging and sleeping. I ended up staying home today. I was going to try to go in but my tummy just won't settle down. I am feeling like a mack truck hit me and then backed up.... Stupid cold and now the yuckies.

 

[Grandbuddy]

Back to the lax situation: A reminder to the coach(es) that in today's legal climate, if they fail to supervise, and someone gets hurt in a non-accidental incident, they'd best have access to good legal representation could help them to remember the importance of having control of practice situations. Not condoning such lawsuits, just stating a fact of life.

We're missing most of the lacrosse down here by the coast, but will be driving through it this afternoon, when the DW and I head to central AL for the weekend, to check on our moms.

 

[fourkidsphoto]

Hello guys..I have a totally off the subject question. My husband and I are taking a no kid disney vacation in a few weeks. We have not been there without the kids so this will be a new experience. I need to make dining reservations with the DDP. We always go to the same places..more kid friendly like the Biergarten..the Garden Grill..Cinderella's castle. What are your favorite restaurants at Disney???

 

[disneymotherof3]

As of 5/08/08, those waiting to close:

snowbunny

Tammymacb

Beavertails Queen

tink'smom2b

Buckeye Fan

Barney44

Princess Amy Lyn

karebear06

cybertea201

MMcguire

TenThousandVolts

ROFR isn't such a bad word after all! But estoppel is!!!!