Now I have heard Everything!

[eatmypixiedust]

---A guest comes up to me at the Bayou podium. ---

Guest - "Excuse me, is this the place inside of pirates of the carribbean that you can see from the ride?"

Me - "Yes it sure is! Just to let you know we are completely booked right now. Try back in about an hour"

Guest - "Ok I'd like a table for 4 please!"
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Oh mylanta! LOL!!!! That's too funny!!


One time my boyfriend and I were walking through the fastpass return line for Indiana Jones. All of a sudden some lady in the standby line said really loud: "OMG! I can't stand people who cut in line!!" and she gives us this dirty look. I didn't even bother with a retort but my goodness some people are clueless! How one could not see the big sign at the entrance that says "FASTPASS" is beyond me!

 

[bambigirl88]

Oh yes please! Tell us more!!

 

[Albort]

Golly, there are 46 pages of these stuff
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I worked G.C. on July 17th and during the anniversary celebration in front of the castle, a guest approached me and asked me what was going on. I told him it was for the 50th Anniversary and he stared at me blankly (all the while, wearing his 50th gold mouse ears) and said, "Oh, that's what this all is? Disneyland has been around for 50 years?" I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but then when he didn't laugh with me and looked a little annoyed, I realized he was serious. How on earth could he miss the fact that the 17th was the big day?!? And did he honestly think we gave out free GOLD mousears and cupcakes every day?
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OK, me at Greeter on Pirates standing under a wait time sign that usually reads 10-20 min.

Guest: Where is your FastTrack?

ME: Only the BIG rides with LONG lines have FastPASS.

Guest: So where is your FastThing?

ME: We only have a 10 minute wait right now, Fast P A S S was designed for the BIG rides that have LONG lines over an hour. It would take you as long to get a fastPASS as it would to wait in our line, a fastPASS on Pirates would be pointless.

Guest: So you don't have a fast...pass?

ME: No, but our wait is less than 10 minutes.

*Guest walks away*
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G:"You know Club 33? How do I take the tram there?"
G:"I have taken it there before."
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guest- Do you work here?
CM- yes, what can I do for you?
guest- (shoves hat into my hand) I want to buy this (tries to shove money into other hand)
CM- sir, I cannot charge you for this hat you have to take it up to a cash register.
guest- but there's people waiting in line; just charge me.
CM- I am sorry sir I cannot do that you have to wait in line at the cash register to pay for this.
guest-so you can't charge me for it?
CM- no sir I 'm sorry I can't.
guest- *&^%$.. (walks away)
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People have asked me where Magic Mountain is so I have informed some of them that it's off the I-5 freeway.
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I personally worked at Test Track and whenever the ride went down do to weather this was one of my favorite questions i got,
guest: "So when is the rain going to stop?"

me: "Well considering the fact that Walt Disney World controls the weather, it should magically stop soon..."

OR

me: "Whenever the big man upstairs decides for it to stop..."
People really went with it...WOW!
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A trick some cast members pull on retard guests:

Guest is standing right outside Haunted Mansion at DLR
Guest: How do I get to the haunted mansion?
CM: You get on the train right over there (New Orleans Station), take it to the fourth stop and it will be on the right side.

An encounter I had with a stupid lady at Indy:
Me: Excuse me mam can I check the little ones height?
Stupid lady: No its ok he’s been on it before.
Me: I just want to double check.

I check his height; the height limit is 46" this kid is like 42" at the most.
Me: I'm sorry he’s just a little too small for this one.
Stupid lady: What are you talking about? He’s already been on it a bunch of times; you aren't going to let him ride his favorite ride?
Me: I'm sorry but he isn't tall enough just yet, the height has always been 46" inches, it’s the tallest in the park. He is tall enough for everything else at DL.

Stupid lady begins to rant and rave and she stands right in front of me asking why I don't check other kids heights and why other kids can go on.

Someone should take custody away from some parents who try to force there kids on stuff that they aren't tall enough for.
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"WHERE CAN I MEET DAFFY DUCK?"
-Wrong park, lady
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I worked at Main Street Operations in Walt Disney World, and was doing Park Greeter exit.

Guest- (2 old hippies who completely fried their brain) Uhh Excuse me...Uhh where is the exit?

Me- Right through here in front of you, would you like a hand stamp to come back later or to another park?

Guests- Uhhh, yes (both ppl get the hand stamp)

Guests- Uhh, wull this hand stamp get us back in our hotel room, we lost our keys.
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I work for Kodak in front of the Castle usually.

Guest: Is that Cinderella's castle?

Me: No Ma'am, that is actually Sleeping Beauty's Castle.

Guest: Where is Cinderella's castle?

Me: At Walt Disney World in Florida Ma'am.

Guest: When are they bringing it back here?

Me: It's actually never been here, we only have Sleeping Beauty's castle, I'm sorry Ma'am.

Guest: No, I've seen it here before. (Turns and walks away)
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Me: that'll be 16.50 please
Him: holy sh*t. how do you f*ckin sleep at night knowing you charged someone 2.75 for a soda?
Me: usually on my back, but sometime's i prefer fetal position.

damn, i do love being sarcastic XD
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Me: (yelling to all guests standing in line for blue bayou) We are completely booked up for the rest of lunch and dinner and we're not taking any walk-ins.

Guest: (standing right in front of me when I yelled this out) So, can I make a reservation today at 6?

Me: we're booked up

Guest: well, then how long's the wait time?

Me: we're not taking any walkins

Guest: Well then you should have a sign up or yell it out to the people in line so that we don't have to waste our time standing here!
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I actually had a lady come up to me when I was doing parades and she said "I cant find my car in Mickey and friends, will you come with me and help me find my car???" HAHAHAHA!
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they swear they know everything there is to know about the park. i had a guest come up to me to buy like 6 drinks (2.75 a piece) and she swore it was only like 15 dollars. i'm like, no ma'am, it's 16.50. she's all like "no, you're wrong, i've been here the last 4 days", so i say i've been selling these drinks for the last 4 months. and she still didn't believe so i pull out a calculator, show her, and she says the calculator's broken. damnit woman, your brain's broken. bleh
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Guest: "Excuse me, miss. Where is the Lion King ride at?"

Me: "Pardon me? The Lion King ride? I'm sorry, we don't have such an attraction."

Guest: "What? But they were talking about it on my way over here on the tram!"

Me: "On the tram? I'm sorry, ma'am...there is no such ride at this time. However, you are apparently parked in the Lion King parking lot. *smile*
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was on mainstreet selling balloons. someone pulls a card out to pay. i just look at them like they are crazy. i soo wanted to ask them where they wanted me to swipe it...haha.

i also had someone mad at me because i couldnt multiply 7 turkey legs, 5 chimichangas, 2 mickey pretzels, and 5 sodas in my head in under 5 seconds. gimme a break, vending doesnt issue out calculators anymore and we dont have registers! (its $87.75 btw)

oh and someone was mad at me once because i couldnt give her a reciept and she didnt want to be accused of stealing these glow sunglasses. i told her that disney wont accuse her of stealing them...she kept saying "im not a thief and they will think i stole them.." i said sorry...and then she asked for a bag. ya, we dont have those either...so i gave her her money back and sent her to the emporium.
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My eyes are going wacky... more to come.. .still got 20 more pages to cover XD

 

[Iggipolka]

Stupid Guest Tricks has many many more umm..interesting observations of guests behavior at DL and WDW.

 

[autumnbaby9]

My eyes are going wacky... more to come.. .still got 20 more pages to cover XD

These are great
Keep them coming!

 

[two-foxes]

An encounter I had with a stupid lady at Indy:
Me: Excuse me mam can I check the little ones height?
Stupid lady: No its ok he’s been on it before.
Me: I just want to double check.

I check his height; the height limit is 46" this kid is like 42" at the most.
Me: I'm sorry he’s just a little too small for this one.
Stupid lady: What are you talking about? He’s already been on it a bunch of times; you aren't going to let him ride his favorite ride?
Me: I'm sorry but he isn't tall enough just yet, the height has always been 46" inches, it’s the tallest in the park. He is tall enough for everything else at DL.

Stupid lady begins to rant and rave and she stands right in front of me asking why I don't check other kids heights and why other kids can go on.

Someone should take custody away from some parents who try to force there kids on stuff that they aren't tall enough for.
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We saw this exact thing in Sept at DLR. This dad was throwing a fit because his daughter, who was being measured by the CM at Splash, wasn't tall enough. He pulled the whole, "She's ridden this 3 times already....blah, blah, blah....." The CM still said sorry, she can't go on. Dad was ticked off, mom was huffing and puffing...I was embarrassed for them, as clearly they didn't have the brains to be embarrassed for themselves.

Just kills me because they'd be the ones to sue in a heartbeat if the CM gave in and darling little daughter was hurt.....

 

[MamaMouseFor2]

I'm very new to this board but had to share my clueless peson comment. Last week I was telling a patient that I was heading to DLR in a couple weeks and he replied "You mean they are still open this late in the year?" How can someone not know that they are open year round?

 

[Judy from Boise]

I am almost speechless !

 

[kelmac284]

Those are great Albort. Thanks for the laugh!! I agree keep them coming!!

 

[tinkermell]

More! More!

 

[PrincessSitka]

I am 911 and I get my fair share of stupit call. My fav is this is not an emergency but can you give me the phone number for information.

 

[Albort]

I am 911 and I get my fair share of stupit call. My fav is this is not an emergency but can you give me the phone number for information.

http://www.break.com/index/burger_king_911.html

like this one...?

 

[Mom to a Princess]

Oh these are hysterical.

When dd and I moved here to southern CA we bought APs to DL. Well some of my distant cousins keep asking me where we got our free passes and how come we get to go so much. They can't seem to unsderstand the concept that I paid for the passes once - I guess the first visit was really really expensive in thier minds if the rest of my visits are free!

 

[lntsmom]

Through high school and college I worked at the Royal Gorge. For those of you who may not have heard of it, it's the world's highest suspension bridge, located smack in the middle of Colorado. As in, north of New Mexico and parts of Texas.

There are signs posted on the deck of the main building telling that the river below is the Arkansas River.

Despite this, guest would regularly ask if they needed their passport to ride the tram or walk across the bridge. A little Geography 101, anyone?

When I worked at the bottom I was constantly asked if I rode the train home. Freight trains? Yep, I'm a hobo in my off-time.

I always blamed this kind of dingyness on their being constipated due to the change in water, lol! Trying to be kind, I told myself that there was no way these people could be THAT stupid all the time!!!

 

[PrincessSitka]

lol That is really like some of the calls I receive.

 

[PattiPB]

Drunk tourists are even more fun...

When I worked at the Treasure Island on the Strip, we were asked if we lived in the hotel. You know, like it was a cruise ship!!!

 

[Albort]

Oh these are hysterical.

When dd and I moved here to southern CA we bought APs to DL. Well some of my distant cousins keep asking me where we got our free passes and how come we get to go so much. They can't seem to unsderstand the concept that I paid for the passes once - I guess the first visit was really really expensive in thier minds if the rest of my visits are free!

APs themselves sometimes make a fool of themselves...

some of them always start with a "Hi, im an AP, can i get a XXXX" Its not like you get special treatment and such... Some AP was like yea, hurry up, im an AP...
Then again, when i on my OJT, the APs were pretty patient with me when i was learning the backwards count one time, i stalled and the AP actually helped me Thank you nice APs...

 

[dwheatl]

http://www.break.com/index/burger_king_911.html

like this one...?

That was a scream!

Is it just me? I don't eat a lot of fast food, but she's asking for a Western Star at Burger King, and that is a Carl's Jr. menu item. Maybe the BK people really were yanking her chain, since she asked for something they don't even carry.
Nit-wit!

 

[Albort]

while working the view station inside photosupply (where you view your photopass cards) the other day this lady comes up (english speaking lady i might add...) to an empty (meaning unstaffed) station.

im helping other guests but see her looking confused, trying to figure out how the thing works.... i tell her "im sorry we are all busy right now, we will have someone to help you in a minute"

she then stares at this screen, starts touching it, like trying to get it to a page so she can view her photos. i tell her again i will help her in one minute, but she keeps pressing these button with this determined look on her face getting frusterated because its not working. she then presses the screen harder....

being the mean spirited person i am i let her continue to press the screen for another 30 seconds or so, laughing sooo hard on the inside, and still helping my guests....

i then turn to her and say "im sorry but that is not a touch screen. no matter how many times you touch it it will not be a touch screen. and we are not self serve, we are all currently busy helping guests right now and will be with you as soon as we can, until that time please wait by the door for the next available cast member...."

ok, i get it, it looks like a touch screen. but:

1.after you press it a few times and nothing happens you can kind of figure out that its not...

2.if there are 7 screens, and 4 of them have cast members with guests at them who appear to be showing pictures to people and a line forming at the door doesnt logic tell you that it is not self serve and we are not there just for the fun of it?

after i told her off she basically went up to her family and, instead of admitting how stupid she was told them "the wait is too long, lets go" (right as i finish up with people and there are 3 of us currently doing nothing)....
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A woman went up to the podium and requested a table for four. The greeter apologized, and said there were no reservations left. Of course, this was not good enough, she wanted to eat here! So, the greeter checked again, and looked at other seating times. But no, sorry, no tables left. At this, the woman demanded to see a manager. The manager comes out and asks what the problem would be. The woman wistfully says that the greeter was refusing to give her a table. And the manager looked at the screen and said,
"Well I'm sorry ma'm, there's no tables left. What are you yelling at my cast member for?"
The woman left, furious. The manager went to the back and laughed.
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the other day this lady walks up to me while i'm on greeter at the sun wheel, she points to tower and is like 'how do i make reservations at the hollywood tower hotel?' i explained to her it was a ride but she still said 'seriously, how do i get reservations there'
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woman-Excuse me sir.
me-Yes, how may I help you ma'am?
woman-Can you take us to the front of the line for buzz lightyear ride? My kids don't wanna wait in line
me-*in my mind im thinking, are you kidding me? just because your kids are too impatient and obviously spoiled (they we're holding tons of disney toys, and lightsabers) I should move you to the front?!?!?!* No ma'am, Im sorry, you must wait in line like everyone else.
woman-Are you sure there is nothing you can do?
me-Yes, Im sure *I walk away*
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today at tower of terror...the dad of a family of four storm out of the elevator and told me I have to warn people before they get on the ride, it was a bad ride...I was thinking....well, you see the elevator dropping from outside, you hear the people screaming, you pass by 2 warning signs in the queue, you watched the pre-show...and you want me to warn you? I just looked at him in disbelief
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"what size is a SINGLE bed??"
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Guest: How do you get to the main gate?

Me: You get on the tram at the front of the lot and it'll take you to the entrance plaza.

Guest: No, how do you get to the main gate?

Me: You park in here and ge-

Guest: No you aren't listening to me! Where is the main gate?!

Me: *points at the front of the park* That way!
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*At the load position of "it's a small world"*

Guest: *sighs and gives angry look*

Me: What's wrong, ma'am?

Guest: I HATE Disneyland, Disney World is much faster with their lines, which makes them better.

*guest loads boat*

*I call the tie line and extention for WDW's "it's a small world"*

*guest's boat returns*

Me: "Ma'am, I checked for you, Disney World's "it's a small world" has a current wait time of 25 minutes, while our wait time here at our "it's a small world" is currently 5 minutes, making us the faster "it's a small world" as far as lines go, and in your eyes, makes us better
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is there meat in the veggie burger?
me: um no its a veggie burger

can i get a cheeseburger with no cheese? is that possible?
Me: one hamburger
no a cheeseburger with no chesse
you would be surprised at how many times i hear that when im on burger side
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Me: Hi welcome to the Boudin Bakery Tour!
Guest: Where is my free slice of bread?
Me: I'm sorry but we ran out of bread samples for the night!
Guest: WHAT?!?!? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY RUN OUT OF BREAD!?!? THIS IS A F**KIN BAKERY!!
Me: I'm sorry miss but we also have to bake the bread for the other Restaurants in this resort, not just the bread for this tour.
Guest: YOU MEAN I HAD TO SPEND ALL THIS MONEY TO BE HERE AND YOU WON'T GIVE ME A FREE SLICE OF BREAD!?!!
Me: You can still buy a loaf of our bread in the caf.
Guest: THAT'S IT!!! CITY HALL IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS AND YOU WON'T HAVE YOUR JOB AFTER TONITE!!
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Me: Good morning, how can I help you today?
Him: Yeah, I need to exchange the shirt my wife bought last night, it has a rip in the sleeve.
Me: Sure, no problem. Did you buy it in here?
**giftstop is a small store, I was trying to determine if we had the item in question**
Him: I wouldn't have come in here if I hadn't.
Me: Ok, (cuz I was working the night before...NOT) and do you have your receipt?
Him: Jesus Christ. Yes.
Me: (I take the shirt out and he throws his reciept at me, I see a big tear in the seam) Oh, wow, I'm sorry about that.
Him: It would have been nice if YOU had checked this last night.
Me: (again, did I work there the night before? NO!!!) Ok, no problem we have one right here....
Him: Are all Floridians as dumb as you?
Me: Sir, I am sorry if I have done something to annoy you, I was just trying to determine the best way to help you. (I'm actually from Seattle)
Him: Whatever. The state is retarded. (starts to leave)
Me: Ok, sir. You have a great day today!!!
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guest: so what are you selling?
me: i have popcorn and drinks
guest: (thinks for a bit) okay let me have a sprite and 3 churros
me: I'm sorry I dont have any churros
guest: oh, well let me have 3 churros then
me: im sorry i do not have churros, you can find churros over on main st though
guest: so you dont have any churros
me: no i dont
guest: well what do you have
me: I have popcorn and drinks
guest: (pointing to the popcorn on the cart) well those are churros, let me have 3 of them
me: im sorry those are not churros, thats popcorn
guest: oh *walks off*
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My friend works at TTC adn one day she was approached by a few teens. One asks her "Which train will take me to Disneyland?"
Friend: "You mean Magic Kingdom?"
Girl: "No, Disneyland"
Friend: "OH... DisneyLAND... Well you catch the red Monorail and it will change color to pink... THEN you know you're on your way to DisneyLAND. Make sure not to get off until it has changed colors though or it won't work!"
Girl: "Thanks! I will!"
Firend: "Have a Magical Day..."
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guest: looking at the board
me: hi! did you have any questions?"
guest: no no just looking
me: answers phone, splash has gone up 20 min.. walks to the board and puts up the 90 minute next to splash mountain
guest: so splash mountain is 90 minutes?
me: yes sir
guest: 90 minutes is how long?
me: stars blanky 90 minutes
guest: oh okay. so thats how many hours?
me: that would be one hour and thirty mins
guest: so thats 90 min?
me: yes sir
guest: ok..
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Well, heres a cast member idiot...
I was a stocker so i bring back ppl's stock.
Vendor1: hey, wheres my stock.
Me: umm, didnt you take it out already? went i drove the cart away, there was nothing there, but this one definatly isnt your stock. I remember bring back 3 boxes of Churros and not 6 boxes.
*Sees someone with 3 boxes of Churros*
Me: Are you sure this is your Churros
Vendor2: Yes, im for sure
Vendor1: that was definatly mine wasnt it..
Me: Yep
Lead: Vendor2, you are short $3,000.
Vendor2: how is that possible?
Lead: Are you sure you still have only 3 boxes of Churros?
Vendor2: come to think about it, i think i did have 6 boxes of Churros...

STUPID!!!!

 

[wendypooh22]

Alport, thanks for sharing... You made my day