Nothing from DH for Christmas :(

[JessicaR]

I am sorry. You deserved a gift and acknowledgement of the holiday.

 

[Becky2005]

Really is it quite common for couples to not exchange gifts after a while?

The only couple I know who did not exchange gifts had a bad marriage and are now getting divorced.

Actually yes, I do think it is common. However, as I said before I'm an odd one and had to re-train my husband that really...the vaccum cleaner that I really wanted was JUST FINE as a gift one year.

We haven't exchanged "real" gifts in ages!!! As far as I know we aren't getting a divorce but DH has been unemployed several times this year, etc... Really, as long as I get a chocolate santa I'm fine. I guess technically that counts as a gift? However..it's kind of silly if you think about it because DH bought me 2 small chocolate santas (and handed them to me in the Target bag!!! ) and I bought him a big chocolate bar -- so basically we exchanged chocolates.

I would rather spend the money we do have on the kids gifts. Of course, I'm also the one that IF I get a gift gets a Mother's Day/Birthday/Anniversary gift all rolled into one because they all happen in the month of May. Usually I don't get anything for those though unless I specifically say I want THIS.

I know it stinks when you are disappointed though. I get the chocolate santas because I made sure to tell DH to me THAT was something that I really wanted each year. If I hadn't said something, I'm sure I wouldn't continue to at least get those even with nothing else.

 

[quasar4legs]

Sorry you are feeling this way

I would wait for a quiet moment and have a chat with hubby and let him know how you feel.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[MichelleVW]

The only couple I know who did not exchange gifts had a bad marriage and are now getting divorced.

That is just ridiculous. I've been married 6 1/2 years and we don't always exchange gifts. It's not a big deal to me. I love the spirit of Christmas and the Christmas season, but I don't feel that attention needs to be on gifts.

I'm sorry...my husband and I buy each other gifts and put a lot of thought into them. I don't know if I would stay married to someone who didn't give me a thought on a holiday. No excuse in my opinion.

My DH puts thoughts into making me happy every day of the year, I don't need a Christmas present under the tree to make me happy. He proved his love for me when he bought me last minute WORLD SERIES tickets for me and the girls when we wasn't able to go himself. Now, THAT is a selfless love!!

 

[luvmy3]

DH and I discuss Christmas gifts every year. Some years we are on a tighter budget than others. Due to some kitchen work we are doing this year, the budget was pretty tight.

DH had forwarded me a groupon for a hot stone massage at a local spa, and I gave him a very big "this would be a great present!!!" nod. This was less than the budget. And...if I do not feel like he picked up on the "clue", I have DD drop the hint too.

The key - communicate...communicate...communicate. One thing I've learned is guys can't read your mind.

I can understand this if its something specific you want, dh and I have an arrangement that I pick out my own gifts from him. However, a man shouldn't have to be told to get something, even if its a box of chocolate, or a card for their wife or GF on Christmas.

OP, I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I totally understand. I hope you do let your dh know how him not making any effort this year really hurt you

 

[mickeysgal]

I can totally understand why you're upset. Many people here are stating that they don't exchange gifts with their significant others, but they don't seem to understand the big deal. My partner and I don't exchange gifts either, but that's totally different from your situation. If not exchanging gifts was agreed upon by both parties, then of course you'd be fine with getting nothing. But if a gift exchange is part of your traditional Christmas, then you have every right to be upset. I'd probably let him know I was upset about it if I were you. I'd have trouble keeping my mouth shut.

This.

Amazon is easy. It's not hard. How difficult could it have been to just order a book or a magazine subscription or some chocolates or a DVD, etc.?

This has happened to me before as well. I understand how disappointed you must feel. If it's part of your "couple code" to not exchange gifts, then great. But when you normally exchange at least a little something, and then you get nothing, then I can most certainly see the disappointment. It's an awful feeling.

 

[Nik's Mom]

The typo was great!


Really is it quite common for couples to not exchange gifts after a while? I need to tell my ill 75 year old Uncle that he was not to get his wife of 50 years a gift. He is doing it all wrong.

The only couple I know who did not exchange gifts had a bad marriage and are now getting divorced.

We don't always exchange gifts and we have been happily married for going on 15 years. Now, we usually go on one big vacation a year and we consider that to be our gift for the year. Except mother's day. I expect a gift for that holiday. The one year dh didn't buy a gift, I let him know that was not cool.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

I'm sorry he didn't get you something, yes even slippers would have been better than nothing. I would be tempted to ask him why he didn't get you something. Then my suggestion to you would be to do what I do....tell him what I would like or go out and buy it for yourself. I told DH I wanted the Pampered Chef ice cream scoop and that I want my wedding rings re-sized.

 

[Nik's Mom]

That is just ridiculous. I've been married 6 1/2 years and we don't always exchange gifts. It's not a big deal to me. I love the spirit of Christmas and the Christmas season, but I don't feel that attention needs to be on gifts.



My DH puts thoughts into making me happy every day of the year, I don't need a Christmas present under the tree to make me happy. He proved his love for me when he bought me last minute WORLD SERIES tickets for me and the girls when we wasn't able to go himself. Now, THAT is a selfless love!!

Wow! That is an awesome dh you have! You are a lucky lady. I agree about your Christmas comment. To dh and I, it's all about our sons on that day.

 

[MichelleVW]

Wow! That is an awesome dh you have! You are a lucky lady. I agree about your Christmas comment. To dh and I, it's all about our sons on that day.

Thanks!! I agree that I'm lucky....he's the best!!!

 

[Planogirl]

It's fine if couples don't buy each other gifts IF that is normal for you. Apparently the OP's spouse normally bought the OP something and for him to just suddenly stop is unfair IMO.

 

[jrmasm]

It's fine if couples don't buy each other gifts IF that is normal for you. Apparently the OP's spouse normally bought the OP something and for him to just suddenly stop is unfair IMO.

I agree.

OP, that stinks. I'd be upset too. You need to tell him how you are feeling.

 

[goodeats]

You (and your DH) should read the book The Five Love Languages. Apparently gift giving is one of your love languages. What are your DH's? I believe the other ones are Acts of Service (i.e. taking the trash out, filling up the gas tank, etc), Physical Touch, Words of Love, and I can't think of the fifth right now. It's really enlightening.

I know for me I'd much rather have DH do something for me or hug me than receive a gift. But on Christmas even a token is nice.

ETA - I thought of the fifth! It's Quality Time Together.

 

[Nik's Mom]

You (and your DH) should read the book The Five Love Languages. Apparently gift giving is one of your love languages. What are your DH's? I believe the other ones are Acts of Service (i.e. taking the trash out, filling up the gas tank, etc), Physical Touch, Words of Love, and I can't think of the fifth right now. It's really enlightening.

I know for me I'd much rather have DH do something for me or hug me than receive a gift. But on Christmas even a token is nice.

I read that book. It was great, especially quizes you and your spouse can take to learn about each other.

Op, you really need to let your dh know how you feel about this. How else will he know that it upset you.

 

[Liberty Belle]

The typo was great!


Really is it quite common for couples to not exchange gifts after a while? I need to tell my ill 75 year old Uncle that he was not to get his wife of 50 years a gift. He is doing it all wrong.

The only couple I know who did not exchange gifts had a bad marriage and are now getting divorced.

I don't know how common it is, but once dh and I had a second child, we quit buying for ourselves. We use all that's in our Christmas budget to make sure they boys have a great Christmas. We've been married over 18 years and have a very happy, loving, secure marriage.

Not sure why you felt the need to use sarcasm and rolling laughter in your post.

 

[MiniGirl]

I'm sorry...my husband and I buy each other gifts and put a lot of thought into them. I don't know if I would stay married to someone who didn't give me a thought on a holiday. No excuse in my opinion.

No gift does not equal no thought. My dh and I do not exchange gifts. He doesn't get me a Christmas gift, birthday, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, etc gift, and you know what? I am completely okay with that. I don't need a gift because it is some gift-giving occassion on a calendar. Truth is dh does dozens (or more) things for me each day. He always puts me and our daughters before himself. Also, I really don't care for "stuff." I'd rather not have anything at all than get something that I just simply "like."

However, OP, it sounds like you were expecting a gift, and I'm sorry you were dissappointed. I think you need to speak with your dh and clear the air.