Nothing from DH for Christmas :(

[PUZZLDY5]

Ok. A little backstory. I have been married for almost 17 years. My DH is disabled. He cant drive or walk very far so traditional shopping is out of the question. I get that. BUT we have a computer with internet and he does know how to use it. Is it to much to ask to go to Target.com for heavens sake. Thanks to my 3 boys and my mother I did have a good Christmas but it really hurt my feelings that I apparently wasn't worth 15 minutes of his time.
And just to be clear. I did get him stuff.

Anyone else not get anything from their SO?

 

[Handbag Lady]

Ok. A little backstory. I have been married for almost 17 years. My DH is disabled. He cant drive or walk very far so traditional shopping is out of the question. I get that. BUT we have a computer with internet and he does know how to use it. Is it to much to ask to go to Target.com for heavens sake. Thanks to my 3 boys and my mother I did have a good Christmas but it really hurt my feelings that I apparently wasn't worth 15 minutes of his time.
And just to be clear. I did get him stuff.

Anyone else not get anything from their SO?

Does he know you'd like a little something? Or is he just lazy, in your honest opinion?

 

[PatsMom]

My husband and I have not exchanged gifts for years unless there is something we know the other is dying to have and won't buy themselves. So most years we just say Merry Christmas.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Ok. A little backstory. I have been married for almost 17 years. My DH is disabled. He cant drive or walk very far so traditional shopping is out of the question. I get that. BUT we have a computer with internet and he does know how to use it. Is it to much to ask to go to Target.com for heavens sake. Thanks to my 3 boys and my mother I did have a good Christmas but it really hurt my feelings that I apparently wasn't worth 15 minutes of his time.
And just to be clear. I did get him stuff.

Anyone else not get anything from their SO?

My husband and I don't get eachother things. Well, Captain America left me a Captain America tshirt to give to him, but other than that, we don't.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Does he know you'd like a little something? Or is he just lazy, in your honest opinion?

Truth is I think he was just to lazy to do it. I would have liked to have a little something to open from him on Christmas morning. Nothing expensive needed. Slippers would have been just fine. I'm really not that hard to please and I'm sertainly not high maintenence, I just feel like I was forgotton about.

 

[mhsjax]

My husband and I have not exchanged gifts for years unless there is something we know the other is dying to have and won't buy themselves. So most years we just say Merry Christmas.

We don't either, but if I got my DH something and he didn't get me anything, I would be a little upset.

NOw DH did get me something this year, I didn't for him, but he told me not to because he is spending a fairly large amount of our tax refund on something he wants/needs, otherwise I would have gotten him something.

 

[SaraJayne]

Truth is I think he was just to lazy to do it. I would have liked to have a little something to open from him on Christmas morning. Nothing expensive needed. Slippers would have been just fine. I'm really not that hard to please and I'm sertainly not high maintenence, I just feel like I was forgotton about.

I'm sorry you feel like you were forgotten.

 

[camreesmom]

We've been together 15 years, married for 13, and we still exchange gifts at Christmas. We even fill each other's stockings. I have a friend at work though, whose DH didn't get her one single thing and she is still very upset today. OP - I would be upset too. Have y'all talked about it at all since Christmas?

 

[jt'smom]

you said your 3 boys and mom made sure your christmas was good, so is it really that you wanted an actual gift or just have him give you an "i love you, merry christmas sweetheart"?

my hubby and i never buy gifts for each other for christmas, but i always know that he loves me because he tries to clean my kitchen after a million people come over for the holidays

 

[momrek06]

My husband and I have not exchanged gifts for years unless there is something we know the other is dying to have and won't buy themselves. So most years we just say Merry Christmas.

This is exactly DH and I. We talk about this way before Christmas. It is the same every year. We also travel during the holidays and I tell him our trip and our meals out is our Christmas exchange.

I will say THIS year we did get each other games ... I got him Yahtzee (as I always wanted to learn how to play it) and he got me the Deluxe version of Scrabble.

Sorry, OP,

Next year, the two of you need to discuss this and make a decision as to whether or not you will be exchanging with each other.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Does he know you'd like a little something? Or is he just lazy, in your honest opinion?

I don't think that is something you should have to spell out at Christmas-doesn't everyone like to receive resents at Christmas?

 

[beaucoup]

My husband and I have not exchanged gifts for years unless there is something we know the other is dying to have and won't buy themselves. So most years we just say Merry Christmas.

That's us too.
Christmas has never been so relaxing & enjoyable as it is now.

OP, sorry your DH did not meet your expectations. Communication is the key here. Telling us won't help. Talk to HIM.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

We've been together 15 years, married for 13, and we still exchange gifts at Christmas. We even fill each other's stockings. I have a friend at work though, whose DH didn't get her one single thing and she is still very upset today. OP - I would be upset too. Have y'all talked about it at all since Christmas?

We have always exchanged gifts for Christmas in the past that's why I thought it was a "given".
We have not talked about it. I kind of want to bring it up but what's the point. KWIM? Can't turn back the clock.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

Truth is I think he was just to lazy to do it. I would have liked to have a little something to open from him on Christmas morning. Nothing expensive needed. Slippers would have been just fine. I'm really not that hard to please and I'm sertainly not high maintenence, I just feel like I was forgotton about.

No excuses for the guy, sorry, nope. Unless he was in a coma for the last few months, he could certainly have gotten you a gift. If nothing else a handwritten letter telling you that he cares. I would have a chat with the guy, not yelling, but expressing your disappointment. There really is no excuse for not giving to your spouse, unless by mutual agreement. So sorry you had that kind of disappointment.

 

[marlynnp]

I don't think that is something you should have to spell out at Christmas-doesn't everyone like to receive resents at Christmas?

what a typo!

But no, I think it is quite common for couples to not exchange gifts after a while.

 

[lovesmurfs]

We have always exchanged gifts for Christmas in the past that's why I thought it was a "given".
We have not talked about it. I kind of want to bring it up but what's the point. KWIM? Can't turn back the clock.

We've been married nearly 21 years. You really do need to talk about it. Not the fact that you wanted a token of something under the tree from him, but the fact that he hurt you by not having anything for you. If you don't talk it out, your resentment will fester. Maybe there was a reason, maybe not, but you do need to talk it out.

Best wishes.

 

[marlynnp]

We have always exchanged gifts for Christmas in the past that's why I thought it was a "given".
We have not talked about it. I kind of want to bring it up but what's the point. KWIM? Can't turn back the clock.

I'd say the point would be to prevent it from happening again.

 

[disykat]

I don't think that is something you should have to spell out at Christmas-doesn't everyone like to receive resents at Christmas?

No. I would prefer not getting presents at Christmas. We always talk about it, always have. We've been married 20 years but we still discuss "are we exchanging gifts this year?" and "what's our price limit?"

If someone expects presents, but won't give, that's a different matter. It's also crappy that he just dropped the ball since apparently they have always exchanged gifts before.

I figure OP's choices are either talk about it so she'll know for next year, or just drop him off her gift list since he's not interested in exchanging.

 

[focusondisney]

OP, I'm sorry your DH disappointed you. We do exchange gifts, even after 32 years of marriage. Do you & your DH usually exchange or not? Did he know you were getting him gifts?

My DH tries. I know he does. But I'm often a little disappointed with his gifts. I am very appreciative of the fact that he cares enough to try. But when you get a plain ugly sports logo fleece jacket when you have never worn a sports logo jacket in your life, you can get a little bummed. Wouldn't be so bad, but in a few months when he sees I never wore it, he'll get upset. Have you met your wife???? Or when he askes for cloor options then buys the one color you told him NOT to get.


Even when I've talked to my DH about his gifts before & poor guy just seems to have the knack for hit or miss gifts. ( He asks!). So you could try talking to him, but it might not do any good. But you are not bad for being disappointed. Glad you kids & mom made a nice day for you!

 

[southern_redhead]

We have always exchanged gifts for Christmas in the past that's why I thought it was a "given".
We have not talked about it. I kind of want to bring it up but what's the point. KWIM? Can't turn back the clock.

I know exactly what you mean. Last year my DH didn't really do anything for me. Even the tiny stocking stuffer I got was an afterthought. It wasn't that I had gone all out for him but I did fill his stocking with useful things and had a small gift under the tree for him.

I'm not sure if this is what "cured" it but this year I made sure to say "I just bought your present!! I can't wait for you to open it!" so he knew ahead of time that he would be opening something from me (and, of course, he wanted to know how much I'd spent but rather than tell him THAT I said "There are four boxes but really only two things total, two of the packages are accessories.") That led him to ask how much was going in his stocking ("It is everyday things you will use but, yes, it is full.")

He went a bit overboard this year but we were within a pretty close range, pricewise, of each other and I spent more on him this year than I ever have. I what he got me, he put time into thinking about it which was more important to me than what the gift was, he actually paid attention to things I said I liked and places we would stop in to shop/look when we went out together.

I hope he "gets it" and does better by you the next time the opportunity comes up.