Note to my younger self...

[zigzagzerr]

Here is the context for my weird thoughts this morning...

I work in an office of mostly 40ish people.

There is one woman in the office in her 20's -- she has a 2 year old, husband is in the military (so no close family around, they get transferred a lot), and she is working on getting her CPA. Every detail of her life comes flying out of her mouth everyday, to all of us and to everyone she chats with on the phone (thin walls). How life is so tough for her, dealing with a 2 year old, studying for the CPA exam which is so hard and unfair (she's taken it about 6 times), babysitters, etc. and on into infinity. We hear about what she ate for dinner, her argument with her husband, what she watched on tv last night....

Anyway, I got to thinking that this woman is actually a "mini me" from about 10 years ago. At the age of around 30, I had a pretty similar situation in the sense of young child, studying for CPA, working full time, etc. One of the things that has recently crossed my mind is that I really hope I was not as annoying during that time as this woman is now. Obsessing about every little thing, gossiping about everybody, feeling the need to share my every tiny problem and aggravation with everyone around me.

Honestly? I'd be willing to bet I was equally annoying (if not more so).

Which brings me to my point (thank goodness, right?). If I could go back to my younger self with the wisdom of experience, I would tell her that you earn a lot more respect by focusing on the bigger picture and leaving the small stuff by the wayside. You'll be a happer person and a better friend/employee/parent/etc without all that baggage weighing you down.

What advice would you give your younger self?

 

[paintnolish]

You know when you thought you were fat? You were actually really thin.

I am not "fat" now but could stand to lose a few. I remember being 5'10" and around 130 lbs...I thought I was fat!!!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Oh I have lots of advice that I wish that I could go back and do over. Keeping my mouth shut at work, don't worry about the small stuff, never use credit cards, save money, save money, save money, don't live to impress others... I could go on & on. That's life though. I wouldn't be the strong person that I am today without going through that stuff and learning from my mistakes. I am preaching to my kids daily about them though and I hope that they do avoid some of the things I have told them about, they will have to learn the hard way too though.

 

[krcit]

To go to school. To travel. To wait to get married. To realize how fabulous I was

 

[clarabelle]

Not to flirt and be so unprofessional at work. (granted I started working young)
Take care of my body more. No indoor tanning. Workout more etc....
Elope instead of the wedding that I hated

 

[ZachnElli]

I've actually been thinking about this lately! There are so many things I wish I knew when I was younger, some I'll keep to myself. But, I would have loved to know that by 28 I wouldn't be able to have kids, I would have told myself to get a move on it! I know of 2 friends from high school who waited to have kids and now at 38 can't have them at all. I agree with the previous poster, no credit cards and save more, I married a spender!

 

[Luvchefmic]

Oh Boy this is a good one...let's see...in random order....

1- To never never have started smoking

2- To have chosen to major in college for something that would have been marketable in the long run

3- To save save save $$$$$$

4- To protect my credit score like the Holy Grail !

5-To not jump from one lousy paying job to the other and end up being a "Jack of all trades; master of none" should have stayed in one place and been there for the long haul

Okay I'm depressed......

 

[Robinrs]

OmG, I wish I could have a LOOOOOOONG talk to 24yo ME!!

SHUT UP and LEARN

A 19" waistline is a GOOD thing

No, he is NOT going to give you that money back

Your parents are AWESOME and you will miss them one day

Partying 6 times a week is NOT a necessity

Marry that short bald guy who keeps asking you, you found out he's a big wig on Linked.com now and you BLEW it!!!

 

[kristilew]

What a great question!

I'd tell my younger self that every single outfit I "had to have" would be at the Goodwill by now, so save the money! Also, just say no to toxic friendships, so not worth the drama.

Thank goodness we don't stay in our 20s forever! I'm much happier at 40 than I've ever been, and I hope less annoying to be around!

 

[runskyhy]

To realize how fabulous I was

Love it!!!

 

[binny]

Great question!

Learn early to save more money

Give yourself a break, life is not nearly as hard as your making it.

Relax. You dont have to do everything at once

That guy? Yeah run fast in the other direction.

On that same note: Just because my parents had what appeared to be a wonderful marriage, does not mean I was privy to everything that went on. They were still human and made mistakes.

Have realistic expectations: see last line. People argue, it doesnt mean they will get divorced.

Have some more self respect you are who you are and if someone doesnt like that, its their loss. Dont try so hard.

You dont need a man in your life to make you whole. That whole "You complete me" line is a total sham! YOU are a whole person just the way you are!

 

[nickey]

Not much I would change in my life. My parents taught me not to learn from MY mistakes but learn from my friends mistakes. I watched and learned that I would not me 18 pregnant getting married by the JP. I was made of honor to 3 of those weddings. Married apartment furnished with stuff everyone wanted to get rid. I learned that I was not living in an apartment young married hiding on the floor in the dark from the landlord looking from the rent late again. Not answering the phone because its the bill collectors calling again. Praying when you get home the utilities are still on. Im going out at 21 going home to sleep all day friends are looking for babysitters and dealing with a 2yr old at 6 am with a hangover. I learned that was the life I wasnt going to have.

 

[Hoodie]

To buy Microsoft.

 

[robinb]

Not much I would change in my life.

I agree. Most of my younger life was just fine. I didn't make any horrible mistakes and what mistakes I made when was young, even the more serious of them, resulted in something good. For instance, I dropped out of college when I was 20 and went back two years later. I met my DH on that second time.

I do admit that I look back on my 20-something self and snicker over her childfree-by-choice attitudes. I am sure that she would snicker over the late-40's me with a 10-year old, so we're probably even .

 

[FireDancer]

There is nothing I would do different. Even the things that didn't turn out great in life, be it past relationships or jobs, helped push me into who I am today and I have reached the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

I believe way too much in chaos theory to think that a change for the better in the past may not be a change for the better in the present or future.

 

[FergieTCat]

To buy Microsoft.

Those three words say it all, don't they?

 

[zigzagzerr]

Have some more self respect you are who you are and if someone doesnt like that, its their loss. Dont try so hard.

When I was working my very first job out of college, one of my older co-workers told me that when she reached 40, she stopped caring about what anyone thought. She was right about that, and life is a lot easier now that I've given up the mindset of needing approval all the time.

There is nothing I would do different. Even the things that didn't turn out great in life, be it past relationships or jobs, helped push me into who I am today

I agree that the sum of our experiences makes us who we are today.

I still would like to give my younger self a thwack in the head for some of it!

 

[*BTMRR*]

I would be nicer to my Mom. It wasn't until I was about 25 that I realized she actually is a VERY smart and wise woman and does know what she is talking about most of the time! I'm making up for my self-centered, superior nonsense now in my 30s but my Mom sure did put up with me graciously for many, many years.

 

[Arielle22]

To keep my mouth shut in work. It took my awhile to get office politics and realize discretion is the better part of valor.

Get your college degree before you have children.

Be nicer to mom (she died when I was 30 after a 3 year illness)

 

[iwrbnd]

Get a major in something you like AND can pay the bills!