Not taking all the kids?

[maxiesmom]

Is there any way you could be comfortable going to Disney and taking some of your children but not all? My sis and I are talking about taking a 4 day trip to Disney next August. We were just there this October, but she had a back problem, and couldn't go on quite a few of the rides. We had to push her around in a wheelchair for a couple of days, her back hurt so much. And now she feels that she missed out and wants to go and make up for it. We have talked about going back and just taking the oldest of her 3 kids (they are 15, 11, and 6). Is there any way to do that and not have the others feel terrible? We have even discussed taking the 15 yr old and the 6 yr old, but I am afraid the 11yr old would feel she was being punished (she has been having a little trouble with her grades.) Or should we leave all of the kids at home? Any ideas?

 

[ilovejack02]

We are not taking our oldest who is 17 his grades have been awful and he was told up front that the only way he could go in Jan. was if his grades were up. BUT its a lil different for an 11 yr old. Id leave home the 15 yr old before the 11 yr old, as long as the 15 yr old knew that they would get their own trip somewhere special by themselves asap.

 

[tink1978]

If you have to choose, I would too leave the 15 year old at home. But, since none of them have really done anything wrong...I would either take them all (if you have the money) or leave them all behind and just the two of you go for a special trip. The kids would understand you two wanting to go together.

 

[akamom]

I've done it. Last year my oldest and my youngest and I went. My middle stayed home. This year my oldest and my middle are going. My youngest is staying home. Luckily mine are still pretty young and I didn't have any issues with leaving one behind.

 

[blessedby3]

I cannot even imagine taking one or two over another. What a horrible feeling for the one (or more) left out of this vacation. All my children go or none of us go. I cant even imagine going with just DH and I and leaving our kids at home although I know lots of people do this. Disney is such a family place and we all go or we all stay.

 

[dismom9761]

I took my two girls to Disney September 2005 and left my boys at home.They had all gone the April before.My boys go on a big camping trip every year with their dad and other men in the family so I thought they deserved a special trip.We had a Princess trip and it was fun but I really missed my boys.

 

[ferris198]

Yeah, Can you explain again why everyone can't go

 

[Tink n Poohbear]

I can't even imagine taking one of my kids and leaving the others behind. I would be miserable the entire trip just thinking about the other 2. If it were me, I'd either take them all or make it an adults-only trip.

 

[Bonnie40]

I guess I'm confused as to why she would want to leave any behind...

I could never do it myself. I have 3 children (all teenagers now) and it would still have to be all or none...

I couldn't imagine how the child left behind would feel...

 

[seashoreCM]

As best as possible, make it seem to the kids as if they are not being left behind. This includes providing for them such that their responsibilities (other than schoolwork) are slightly less. Not so little as to give them a field day but also not expecting them to play your role.

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[natenapril]

I would not leave any of my children behind ( I have 3). I can't imagine how the one left behing would feel. But maybe you guys have a good reason?

 

[kristinanderic]

I was raised that when you have children you are supposed to take care of them, and take them everywhere with you. My son goes with me and my husband everywhere, we don't have a sitter, its very very rare that he even stays with grandparents because he's our son. We actually feel sad when he isn't around. Our son brings us so much joy that I couldn't imagine leaving him out. I happen to have a job where I can bring my son to work so we are together all the time.

 

[wrldpossibility]

OP, could you expand on the reasoning behind leaving 2 at home? Like others have said, I feel I could give better advice if there was a reason there. With the info given, I can't imagine why DSis wouldn't take all or none. They are not very young, and you said they are not misbehaving. The only reasons I've seen given for leaving some children behind are that they are too young (in their opinion) or being punished for grades, etc.

Personally, since you asked, I would never leave any children at home. I don't think I'd ever use a family vacation as punishment (but my kids are still young ), and I don't believe in leaving babies or toddlers at home (our 2 yo is a handful, but we couldn't imagine going without him). Sounds like you and your sis should have a sisters-only trip, and bring all the kids next time, or include all the kiddos.

 

[maxiesmom]

Our going next August is supposed to be so that my sis can enjoy all that she missed during our last trip. There was quite a bit she didn't do with her back bothering her so much. It was even painful for her to walk, so we had to set a much slower pace than what we are used to doing.

When we started talking about going in August, it was as a quick 3 day trek. Her oldest "volunteered" to go with us. At 15 it would almost be like having another adult along. Goodness knows he is now taller than both of us, and I am 5'8. But if we took just him one of us would be stuck alone on quite a few of the rides. Which is why we could take my 6 yr old niece. She is much more of a ride girl than her older sis. There are rides that she loves like Soar'n, that her older sis will not go on. But I couldn't imagine just leaving one child behind. Which is why I asked. I wondered if any of you had done it, and if so how. My sis and I have done a trip together, but we both missed the kids. We kept pointing out things this one or that one would have liked. So I don't think either of us want to do that again.

Now this might not even matter, because what I was thinking of as a quick trip, my sis is now thinking of as another 6 day stay. So if she goes, and her kids go, we can't just leave her hubby behind. He wouldn't like it either. So we might just end up taking the whole gang down again.

Now does anyone have any tips as to how to survive the August heat?

 

[camdensmom]

So the 11 year old IS being punished...because she is a stick in the mud and a party pooper when it comes to the rides

Seriously though, since school is not is session in August, you really can't justify leaving an 11 year old behind while the siblings go. It's just cruel. I see what you are saying re: rides, but I personally think it would be heartbreaking.

As for the August heat...yick!

I lived in Orlando for awhile and it is miserble. The only advice is to stay in a/c, but that isn't possible at wdw.

I would suggest doing just you and your sis. It would be a special trip.

 

[Sixformeandyou]

I am not taking my High school daughter and college age son. They cannot miss school (it would mean flunking) and work. It is the time my husband can take off work. Anyway, on is going to NY city and the other skiing. Believe me, they would rather do this than hang out with their parents and siblings. Sad, I know but why would I spend a ton of money for them to be miserable and then not be able to go on the other trips because they cannot do both (financially). They both have two and three good memories of Disney where they others have none or one (my 11 year old). I don't feel bad. They have been there, done that. We camp as a family and they love it. My son brings a friend and everyone enjoys themselves.

So we are only taking the youngest four. Sounds mean but it really isn't. The last time we went one wasn't born, the other two were babies and the 11 year old was 5. This will be it for a long, long time. We may go back in five or six years with the youngest three. Then all will have two memories of Disney. Families do different things. Doesn't mean it is wrong because it it different.

Tracy

 

[Steve's Girl]

So the 11 year old IS being punished...because she is a stick in the mud and a party pooper when it comes to the rides

Seriously though, since school is not is session in August, you really can't justify leaving an 11 year old behind while the siblings go. It's just cruel. I see what you are saying re: rides, but I personally think it would be heartbreaking.

As for the August heat...yick!

I lived in Orlando for awhile and it is miserble. The only advice is to stay in a/c, but that isn't possible at wdw.

I would suggest doing just you and your sis. It would be a special trip.

I agree! You can't leave the middle child home. She would be devastated! My middle child is very much her own person, nothing like my other two. She likes completely different things. But, to leave her out of a family trip because of who she is ... I can't even imagine what a blow that would be to her!

Adult only trip or all the kids! It would be different if it were a high school student who couldn't miss school or work, etc. But that is not the case. Please don't leave her out! One of the joys of being a family is appreciating each individual for who they are and the diversity they bring.

 

[maxiesmom]

Thanks guys! I wondered if there was a way to leave the middle child behind and not make her feel bad. Apparently the answer is NO!

And while she may be a party-pooper when it comes to rides, she is still pretty neat. She is like me in that she doesn't show affection easily, but this last trip there was a few times I would all of a sudden feel a little hand slip into mine, look down expecting the 6 yr old, and it was the her instead.

We need a happy tears smiley.

OK, I'm convinced. All or none!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

Thanks guys! I wondered if there was a way to leave the middle child behind and not make her feel bad. Apparently the answer is NO!

And while she may be a party-pooper when it comes to rides, she is still pretty neat. She is like me in that she doesn't show affection easily, but this last trip there was a few times I would all of a sudden feel a little hand slip into mine, look down expecting the 6 yr old, and it was the her instead.

We need a happy tears smiley.

OK, I'm convinced. All or none!

OH GOOD! Because in a few years , they won't want to go, so enjoy them while you can. We always went as a family. My oldest is in college now , my youngest is a jr. in high school, so the years fly by.

 

[3princesses+aprince]

Oh good i'm glad you see it that way now!!!!!!!!!

I do understand leaving older kids behind for school/work or some leave their babies behind( I don't think I could, but wouldn't flame for it) But I have a 10 year old son and he is the one that looks forward to our Disney trips the most!!! And like the previous post said when they are older you will be begging them to go out with you!