Not good news for us

[MickeyAnne]

Hey Ladies -
Today we got some bad news about my soon-to-be FIL. He was dianosed with anal cancer about a year ago and despite radiation and chemo twice, today they think that it has spread to his liver. He is going for a cat scan to confirm this later on.
Of coarse, this news is tough to swallow - especially with our wedding about 14 months away. I am struggling with how to feel about this whole thing. We lost my sister and now it seems we may lose another person before our wedding. Hopefully I am jumping the gun by feeling that way but that seems to be the general feeling. How horrible is this?
His parents told him, when he told them he wanted to propose, that no matter what we were not to change wedding plans due to his cancer. They still feel this way - but right now I am feeling guilty. I don't want to move it up AT ALL. We do not have the funds to move out of our parents houses just yet and we really won't until about June when we are getting married. But at the same time, ugh , you know what I am saying. I just feel terrible.
My fiance is dealing with the news fine. He really is a level headed guy and deals with things as they come. He does not want to move up the wedding either. He just says we will deal with whatever comes and no matter what our wedding will be happy.
I could go on forever but I just needed to get something out. Sorry for the longness!

Here's to hoping...

 

[Maggimus]

Hey Ladies -
Today we got some bad news about my soon-to-be FIL. He was dianosed with anal cancer about a year ago and despite radiation and chemo twice, today they think that it has spread to his liver. He is going for a cat scan to confirm this later on.
Of coarse, this news is tough to swallow - especially with our wedding about 14 months away. I am struggling with how to feel about this whole thing. We lost my sister and now it seems we may lose another person before our wedding. Hopefully I am jumping the gun by feeling that way but that seems to be the general feeling. How horrible is this?
His parents told him, when he told them he wanted to propose, that no matter what we were not to change wedding plans due to his cancer. They still feel this way - but right now I am feeling guilty. I don't want to move it up AT ALL. We do not have the funds to move out of our parents houses just yet and we really won't until about June when we are getting married. But at the same time, ugh , you know what I am saying. I just feel terrible.
My fiance is dealing with the news fine. He really is a level headed guy and deals with things as they come. He does not want to move up the wedding either. He just says we will deal with whatever comes and no matter what our wedding will be happy.
I could go on forever but I just needed to get something out. Sorry for the longness!

Here's to hoping...

Im so sorry-- i remember you telling us the story about your sister ("sunshine")--- i hope everything works out for your family. Heres some pixie dust & know that your soon to be FIL is in all of our thoughts!

 

[Summer-Caitlin]

I'm so sorry this has came up for you and your DF and his family. My thoughts are with you all This is a difficult situation at the best of times but during a stressful occasion like planning a wedding it is even harder to deal with. I really pray that the outcome is good.

Here's to hope

 

[orangetiggs]

I'm so sorry to hear about your news, I'm sure everything will work out.

My father has suffered with cancer since I was six weeks old and I'm now just 26 so I know how bad things can get. Luckily we still have him and he is as well as can be.

I hope that he gets good news from the scan and that everything will work out as you planned

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

oh you poor thing, what a difficult situation you & DF are going thru.

Its never easy to hear news like that.

Im sure things will work out for you 2 no matter what curve ball life throws your way.

I hope & wish for the best for your FIL.

Best wishes & chin up...feel free to come here anytime when you need a virtual shoulder

 

[curiouser]

I'm sorry that you had to receive such bad news! Your FIL will be in my thoughts. Lots of pixie dust your way and wishes for strength for you and your DFi during this stressful time. Be strong and stay positive and know that your wedding will be beautiful and all the people you love will be there, even if not physicially.

 

[KellyJo18]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, what a difficult time it must be for you all. You and your family will be in our thoughts .

 

[heatherlynn444]

so sorry you are having to deal with this. I knwo what it is like, my mother had cancer, but she came though it. Stay positive and just be there for your fiance. I will pray for you and your family!

 

[JJClemson]

I am so sorry you and your DF are going through this. Hopefully, things with your FFIL will turn out to be ok. I'll say a prayer for you

 

[Kruggie]

I am sorry your family is dealing with this. I too have had this scare, thankfully by the grace of God, my mother is cancer free, she had a part of her lung removed in February, and thankfully has made a full recovery from that.

She too urged me to keep our plans as they were. We have an April wedding planned and being unsure of the extensiveness of her cancer and how well she would recover from surgery, we worried endlessly about her being able to make the trip.

I listend to her, as hard as it was and I kept things moving forward as she wished. I am sure that your FIL wants the same. I concluded that should she not be able to attend physically, that I would somehow web cam it...so she could sort of be there....and if not able to do that, I planned to carry my cell phone with me, so she could at least hear the ceremony.

Your husband to be is right, you just need to get yourself on that page too. No matter what life throws your way, your wedding will be a most happy occassion, even though there may be empty seats, and tears of sorrow and joy, the love of that day, the love between the two of you, and the love for those not seated, will make your day as wonderful as any.

Prayers to you and yours.

 

[MickeyAnne]

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and prayers. We need them!
Unfortunatley we will not know for sure what is going on with DF's father until tomorrow so right now we are playing the waiting game. Its hard not knowing. The worst part of it all is that DF has two teenaged brothers that still don't know what is happening with their dad. So sad. I hope that everything works out.
I will definitely keep you posted - and probably be back to use all of your "virtual shoulders" again. Thanks again everyone - your words really helped!
~Tonianne