Not Doing Christmas this Year

[lcrane]

Well I have read a lot of Christmas stories today, and am getting sad, we are not abel to do Christmas this year my husband was in the hospital in Aug (just after we got back from WDW) with CHF and kidney failuer (he was a kidney transplant patient for 19 year) the doctors told him that he can not go back to work so now we are waiting on SSD it has been a very hard 4 months, I am very blessed to have 2 children DD 14, DS 12 that understand that we are not having Christmas this year, I don't even thank that I am going to put up a tree. I don't want to get up Christmas morning and not see any present for are 2 kids (who do really deserve it) this year they have been a great help to me and there dad . I sit here crying and feeling sorry for myself right now when I know that there are other ones that have gone throu this excate same thing. I would love to here othere people stories on how or why that have not been able to have Christmas.

Thank You for reading, and have a Merry Christmas

Lisa

 

[novdisneydreams]

Lisa - Your message touched me, and I am so sorry for what your family has been through. I know that the rest of us can not possibly understand the toll that this has taken on you. It sounds like you have great kids - and maybe you would want to consider doing Christmas differently this year rather than not at all - Put up that tree, crank up the carols on the radio and spend some time together I was just thinking about this yesterday, we are having some serious financial troubles right now but I refuse to give up Christmas just because the presents won't be as plentiful as they have been in the past. Its still the season for family ... and I wish yours the very best season possible. I plan on making crafts and baking with my little ones this year as a substitute for some of the gifts that I just can't buy. We'll be making memories (which tend to last longer than toys anyway) - I am wishing you some happier ones this holiday season.

 

[HopperFan]

novdisneydreams is absolutely correct - it is all about the memories ! Some of my best memories as a child were when my folks had very little to give.....but homemade gifts and all the spirit of the holidays. While I am fortunate now, we make a point of doing family activities each weekend between TDay and Christmas day so that my kids will have those special memories, not just the long forgotten gifts.

I would absolutely put up that tree and decorate with all that you have, and maybe trek outdoors for some natural items to decorate with as well. Look over the TV guide for the month, find some great holiday movies and set aside Movie night with the whole family. Pop some corn and enjoy being together. Check your local paper (even online) and see where there may be some free concerts, plays, and other festive events. Even around here some grocery stores do "open houses" with free food samples, local school chorus singing and lots of fun. One year elves jumped from a plane into the grocery parking lot. Was so much fun ! Who knows what gifts we got that year, but we remember the elves. Does your kids' schools have a chorus night you can attend ? Write your children special letters of how wonderful they are and leave by the tree. I bet if you googled you would find all kinds of special fun. Try http://familyfun.go.com/ for some ideas.

May you feel all the warmth of the holidays and enjoy your time being with each other ! as that is priceless.

 

[EthansMom]

I'm so sorry you're going through difficulties this year. Could you contact a local church or other charitable organization to see if you could get just one or two gifts for your kids? Also, do you have friends or family members who would be receptive to getting your kids each a reasonably priced gift?

I agree with the others. Even without gifts, I would put up the tree and make a snack or two!

 

[makinorlando]

I'm so sorry you're going through difficulties this year. Could you contact a local church or other charitable organization to see if you could get just one or two gifts for your kids? Also, do you have friends or family members who would be receptive to getting your kids each a reasonably priced gift?

I agree with the others. Even without gifts, I would put up the tree and make a snack or two!

I am so sorry you have had a difficult year. I hope your husband's health is improving.

I agree - put up a tree, make some special snacks, and watch some Christmas movies. DD loves to do that. Her other favorite thing that has already started is to drive around and look at Christmas lights. We take hot choc in the car, turn up the A/C so it feels like it's cold outside, put on Christmas music and have a great time.

I try not to make Christmas so much about the gifts and she seems to get it. She has her selfishness at other times of the year but at Christmas she seems to like the traditions we are building.

 

[lcrane]

thank you eveyone for the response we are doing little things as the family the kids love fondue so we are doing a cheese and a cholc. one I know it is about the memories, but one of them was seening there faces Chirstmas morning when they knew that Santa was not real but they let you as parents pretend that he was. See we never put anything under the tree untill late Christmas Eve night so that when they woke up the tree was all lit up and the present were out. (That was my fav. time) any they always humered me, but as they have told me for the last 4 mon they are glad that they got to go to disney with there dad (we only got to go 2 times) this year and the year before and we would not trade that for anything. Memories to last a life time.

Lisa

 

[HGD24]

I agree with the previous poster who mentioned contacting a local church or agency who helps families during the holidays. Our company partners with many agencies that do this and you wouldn't believe the gifts the families receive! I've seen some families receive well over $500 in gifts.

If you don't feel up to doing that, you could still have a nice Christmas morning breakfast and maybe put a few special treats in the kids' stockings, just a little something to make the morning special.

 

[HopperFan]

You may also want to check with your school social worker/counselor. I know our schools have groups that often adopt families in our community anonymously...it is all handled by the school....no one knows who the family is and the family doesn't know where the gifts came from. Maybe they can help you make your morning more special.

 

[DianeV]

In this circumstance dont be proud (I hope I worded that right)..just ask for help. We have something here called Goodfellows that if you give your name and family info they help you out with some gifts and food..maybe next year you will be better off and can donate for someone else who could use it

 

[MSSANDRA]

I read this post earlier when I did not have time to respond and something from the movie of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" keeps comming to mind. Remember at the end it say something like "Perhaps Christmas does not come from the store, perhaps Christmas means a little bit more".. Now also let me say it would break my heart to not be able to give my child a gift on Christmas ,but to not have Christmas would be even worse. People used to do Chirstmas on so little money. Put up the tree and decorate to the max with what you have! I as others have said would ask for help. Next year pay it forward and help another family. If that is not an option for you, try to find ways to scrape together a little bit of cash. Think about...
a yard sale
a pawn shop
e-bay
-Cut the grocery list to the core and eat no meat for a week or two and pocket the difference
-Use any skip payment coupons you might have
-bite the bullet and use a credit card if you have any
-ask a friend or family for a loan.

Just one or two small things for the kids would be great. Even a few $ store items so they could open something on Christmas would be nice.

Look for free things to do with the family. Attend worship services, go look at christmas lights, look for free concerts or plays.

Be creative and make this a Christmas to remember. I really would not want to send the message to my kids that you can not have Christmas with out bought gifts.

Prayers for your family.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

If you and your family ever needed Christmas and the Spirit of Christmas, it's this year. Lean on us, even if we are just virtual friends. Take some of the well meaning advice to heart. Christmas can be as special and magical as anything else. I hope it is, you deserve it.

 

[Deesknee]

novdisneydreams is absolutely correct - it is all about the memories ! Some of my best memories as a child were when my folks had very little to give.....but homemade gifts and all the spirit of the holidays. While I am fortunate now, we make a point of doing family activities each weekend between TDay and Christmas day so that my kids will have those special memories, not just the long forgotten gifts.

I would absolutely put up that tree and decorate with all that you have, and maybe trek outdoors for some natural items to decorate with as well. Look over the TV guide for the month, find some great holiday movies and set aside Movie night with the whole family. Pop some corn and enjoy being together. Check your local paper (even online) and see where there may be some free concerts, plays, and other festive events. Even around here some grocery stores do "open houses" with free food samples, local school chorus singing and lots of fun. One year elves jumped from a plane into the grocery parking lot. Was so much fun ! Who knows what gifts we got that year, but we remember the elves. Does your kids' schools have a chorus night you can attend ? Write your children special letters of how wonderful they are and leave by the tree. I bet if you googled you would find all kinds of special fun. Try http://familyfun.go.com/ for some ideas.

May you feel all the warmth of the holidays and enjoy your time being with each other ! as that is priceless.

I agree hold onto the Christmas traditions. Remember Christ depended on others to shelter and feed him nearly his entire adult life. Don't be too proud to ask for help.

Perhaps contact a local church/ST. Vincent DePaul is very good at keeping the giving alive.

I pray this is a magical miraculous Christmas for you all.

 

[lcrane]

Thanks everyone for responding to me, I have thought have getting in conduct with a church or school, but there are other families in our area that have smaller children then ours and they would not understand not have anything under the tree. We will probley go ahead and put the tree up and decorate it. We are having Christmas dinner at our house with the rest of the family (yes they do know that we are not going to be having present, and I don't feel right in asking them to help out). and yes that is pride, but we want to be able to do this on our own we talk about this back in Aug. when he was first told that he could not work any longer, and even thou I know that my mom would help us out I don't want to ask her because if something should happen and things to do not out very well for us I can at least say that I was able to take care of my husband (we have been married for 20 year) and our 2 children. I do ask for prayers for my husband Les and our 2 kids Megan and Chase. I would like you all to know that I have taken all of your respones to heart and will have the best holiday that God can give me and I will have a smile on my face., because everyday that I have with my family is the best day that I can have., and everyday that Les is still with me is one more day that we have together. (this is what matter the most to me)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Lisa

 

[monami7]

Wishing you a happy mamory filled Christmas.

 

[Denine]

Have you thought about making some small gifts for you kids? What about coupons you make that you can put in their stocks for other things? The coupons can be for anything special that your kids want to do that doesn't cost much if anything.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your husband's health improves and that you truly have a Merry Christmas. You never know, having to use your creativity to create memories may make this the best Christmas ever!

 

[JodyTG]

Lisa,

I know this may sound kind of weird, but I remember reading an article in a magazine years ago (don't remember the name) about a family that just had a really, really bad year. Their kids were old enough to understand that they couldn't afford to buy them Christmas gifts that year and were okay with it. What the parents did was take a few of their kids toys and stuff that they didn't use often out of their room and wrap them up in paper shopping bags (I told you it was an old article) and place them under the tree Christmas morning.

The kids were very surprised to see gifts under the tree and once they realized that it was the stuff missing from their rooms they had a big laugh. The kids got so into it that they spent the rest of the morning taking things out of each others rooms and wrapping it up to be opened. The woman in the article remembered this as their best Christmas ever and the "re-gifting" stayed a family tradition even after their money problems were solved.

And always remember...a gift is not a thing to be bought in stores, but something given in love (even if you got it the first time years ago ).

 

[Zoemakes5]

I'm so very sorry! I know how saddening it can be. Last year was really tight for us. I was upset because we'd always given a "big" present and there was always a "big" present from Santa. Not last year.
There are programs out there that specifically focus on teens/older kids. Toys For Teens is one of them. Boy Scouts troops across the country look for families to "adopt" or programs to participate in that provide gifts for older kids. My sons are going to Target with Troop money on Saturday to purchase for boys and girls their own ages. Schools and churches, toys for tots, and other service organizations are definitely out there.
I understand all about pride, especially for family members, but pose it a different way....if you found out that your best friend or sister or bother was not going to be able to give anything to their kids for Christmas, wouldn't you want them to ask you for assistance if you could give it? I know I would. In fact, I'd be upset knowing my niece or nephew or close friends went without when I could have helped. And while I never would ask for myself, I would do it in a moment for my family. You indicated that you want to show that you did it for your family, I say, show that you put your family first in asking for help. Show that it's okay to lean on people who love you.
And, no matter what everyone brings, hosting a holiday meal costs. For the food, for the drinks, for the condiments. It all adds up a bit at a time. So you're doing something for everyone else, it's not out of the realm of propriety to ask them for help for what you need/want.
How 'bout something like this.....you ask your Mom or other friend or family member for enough to cover a couple of family games, and put them under the tree for the kids to open and you can play them. My DS's (age 10 & 12) love texas hold'em and it's maybe $10 for the inexpensive set. If you have cards already, you could actually buy poker chips at someplace like WalMart for about $3.
Do you sew? One of my very favorite gifts when I was around 12 or 13 was a quilt that a family member made me. I just LOVED it and had it forever. There are other things that you can make, even for kids that age, that would be used and cherished. A jewlery holder (the kind you roll up). A travel bag, a tote bag, a wreath, homemade ornaments (my family started me on ornaments when I was 10 with the thought that I would then have a nice collection when I went off to college. Anything personalized is great, too.
Do you have digital pictures? If so, you could make them picture CD's that are their special pictures, with performances, holidays, birthdays, friends, etc. Homemade picture frames with special pictures could be special, too.
They're old enough that you could sit down and have a "brainstorming session" and talk about what you might have in/around your house or that could be very inexpensively purchased, for each other and family members.
Sending you warm hugs during the holiday season.

 

[bopper]

Why is it so important to say that "I can at least say that I was able to take care of my husband (we have been married for 20 year) and our 2 children". Isn't accepting help part of "taking care" of your kids? You are saying other families deserve presents more...who is more deserving than your own family? Now if you had no money because of your own actions it would be one thing, but due to circumstances out of your control you are low on funds...you can't even let your own mom get them something (I am not sure if you have other issues with her, so if you do, pay no mind). I think you may be depressed...let others around you help you.

 

[lcrane]

Zoomakes5, you are so right I am the type of person that would help out anyone else and not ask for it myself. They will be helping out with the dinner it is going to be pot luck this year (we had it one other time) and it was a lot of fun. We are going to take a lot of picture and put them in a book so that we can look at them throu the year, that is what we did when we went to WDW this year and they still go throu the CD everychance they get. They also took pictures of there dad when he was in the hospital and Megan did his hair like a rooster now they were some funny ones. I guess what I am trying to say is that the picture ideal sounds like a very good one for us because we can look back and see all of the good things that has also happen to us and share that with the rest of the family.

Lisa

 

[lcrane]

Bopper, my mom is getting them something I didn't me to say that they are not getting anything just not from me and there dad. The part about taking care of my husband and my 2 kids is just my way of standing on our own 2 feet it doesn't mean that I don't appreciated anyone helping me or orfering to help it just that I have to try to do it on my own (that has always ment a lot to me and Les) maybe we are just to independent. The part of other familes I ment ones in our areas that are going throu financial difficults and have smaller children then our 2. I am not depressed it just the holiday were coming up and I was feeling sad and wanted some option on how to do Christmas this year, and everyone has came up with some great ideals.

Lisa