Not Another MIL Vent, but a FIL one!

[MIGrandma]

I've seen many MIL vents here, but can't remember any on the opposite, the FIL but I have one. This past Sunday we were at our property up north. DH had gone into town to do a little work on his computer and we were looking forward to spending the afternoon riding trails and relaxing. He got back about 12:30 and said his day just took a dive, and mine would too after reading the text he got on his phone from his Dad. He said his wife's daughter and family were camping at the state park near us, so they were going to see them AND US that afternoon. No approximate time was given. I told DH he should have just texted him back and said "sorry, won't work this time, we'll see you when we get home" but he didn't want to do that.

So I'm scurrying around picking things up, making the bed (in case they brought the daughter and her family with them, and someone needed to use the bathroom), setting up chairs by the campfire, etc.

Then we wait. And wait. And wait.

They didn't show up until 4:30. Four hours after the text. And they only stayed 5 minutes and didn't even get out of their car!! They had his wife's (DH's stepmother) grandson and granddaughter with them and "couldn't stay because the grandson had to be back by 6:00 for youth group."

What the heck was the point then?! If you're not even going to get out of the car and stay awhile, why bother?

I'm sure they stayed all afternoon with the stepmother's daughter and family at the state park then felt like they HAD to put in an appearance with us or something. But we would have preferred they didn't. Totally spoiled the entire afternoon.

 

[clh2]

Sorry - your wrecked afternoon was not caused by your FIL. It was your DH, who refused to respond to the text that you had other plans.

 

[rigs32]

Why not send a text back telling him that you would be out on the trails and you needed a time? You're not required to jump because of a vague self-invitation. Next time, tell your DH that he's welcome to sit around waiting, but you're going forward with your plans unless there's an agreement as to when he'd get there.

 

[Poohs Pal]

Sorry - your wrecked afternoon was not caused by your FIL. It was your DH, who refused to respond to the text that you had other plans.

I am guessing she would probably agree with you but hey even as adults sometimes it's just hard to say something. I am sure it would not have been so bad for them if DFIL had at least got out of the car and acted like he wanted to visit. But 5 minutes and not even getting out of the car.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhhh, I have heard FiL vents... I can remember on big one on here, "men and their fathers....".
My own inlaw issues were both MIL and FiL.... more greatly FIL, to be sure....

Anyhow, remember....
There are really no inlaw problems.... only marriage problems....
Hope your DH learns to handle this kind of thing better from now on!!!!

 

[MIGrandma]

Sorry - your wrecked afternoon was not caused by your FIL. It was your DH, who refused to respond to the text that you had other plans.

See, that's exactly what I asked him to do. But he wouldn't do it. So yeah, I was more disgusted with DH about that part of it but still when they wouldn't even get out of the car...that ticked me off even more. I just didn't see the point in it. I wouldn't do that to someone. Well, in the first place I would first ASK them if it would be all right to visit, and not just say we were coming!! And if they DID say it was okay, we would get out of the car and visit them. Maybe stay for an hour or so. But 5 minutes? Good grief!

 

[sunnyday123]

Sorry - your wrecked afternoon was not caused by your FIL. It was your DH, who refused to respond to the text that you had other plans.

Yep. I would have asked when they were coming.

 

[disneyfans95]

just pick up the phone and call them..

I don't get why people don't just ASK questions. You got the right to just ask and find out the details.

 

[bumbershoot]

Aw man, I'm sorry.

And to not even get out of the car????? What did they do, honk for you? Ugh.


Not really related, but it's a FIL thing. When DS was 2 and REALLY into his grandpa, FIL said he was coming over. I gave DS a little haircut, brushed it so it was very cute, put on some clothes that FIL had given him that finally fit, had him looking like a little gentleman. I have a picture of him sitting on the stairs, waiting so happily.

FIL never showed. (just like FIL never followed through with his children)

And compounding the utter misery, it wasn't long until he had a kidney stone procedure that ended up resulting in his death...so apart from seeing FIL in the hospital, that would pretty much have been the last visit he had with DS.

Just made it all the more sadder in retrospect.

 

[MIGrandma]

Aw man, I'm sorry.

And to not even get out of the car????? What did they do, honk for you? Ugh.


Not really related, but it's a FIL thing. When DS was 2 and REALLY into his grandpa, FIL said he was coming over. I gave DS a little haircut, brushed it so it was very cute, put on some clothes that FIL had given him that finally fit, had him looking like a little gentleman. I have a picture of him sitting on the stairs, waiting so happily.

FIL never showed. (just like FIL never followed through with his children)

And compounding the utter misery, it wasn't long until he had a kidney stone procedure that ended up resulting in his death...so apart from seeing FIL in the hospital, that would pretty much have been the last visit he had with DS.

Just made it all the more sadder in retrospect.

That is so sad.

 

[amez]

DH had gone into town to do a little work on his computer and we were looking forward to spending the afternoon riding trails and relaxing. campfire, etc.

.

okay a bit off topic, but I wanted to ask if you trail ride ATV's? We live in Ohio and have family in Michigan. We have been wondering about trails to ride on within these two states. Of course maybe you're riding horses and I'm off base. But I guess I was wondering if there are many trails for ATV's--we have a few acres to ride on here at home, but were wondering about other places.
Thanks

 

[golfgal]

Sounds like something my DH would do-his parents would call, say they are coming to visit-I ask when-he says "Saturday sometime". Wait all day for them, they come for 30 minutes, go home. I have learned to not wait for them if they aren't going to give us a time when they will be here, if I miss them, I miss them.

 

[Bethenny]

Anyhow, remember....
There are really no inlaw problems.... only marriage problems....

Huh? What does that even mean?

OP sorry that happened. Completely sucks. I don't get though why nobody called them to make firm plans. It wouldn't be difficult (or rude) to call up and say "hey, that sounds great. When do you plan to be here because we have plans already that we need to work around".

 

[Gigi22]

That sucks. If ever there is a re-occurence, time to go to the Mall and let your DH greet his guests!

 

[MIGrandma]

okay a bit off topic, but I wanted to ask if you trail ride ATV's? We live in Ohio and have family in Michigan. We have been wondering about trails to ride on within these two states. Of course maybe you're riding horses and I'm off base. But I guess I was wondering if there are many trails for ATV's--we have a few acres to ride on here at home, but were wondering about other places.
Thanks

There aren't any trails near where we live for ATV riding (which is the type of riding trails I was talking about ) but there are lots and lots and lots "up north" (northern lower peninsula, not sure about in the UP). You might be able to get some maps from some chambers of commerce, like Grayling, Gaylord, Houghton Lake, Harrison, etc. I know DH has some maps and there are tons of trails for exploring.

 

[wdwfan16]

I've seen many MIL vents here, but can't remember any on the opposite, the FIL but I have one. This past Sunday we were at our property up north. DH had gone into town to do a little work on his computer and we were looking forward to spending the afternoon riding trails and relaxing. He got back about 12:30 and said his day just took a dive, and mine would too after reading the text he got on his phone from his Dad. He said his wife's daughter and family were camping at the state park near us, so they were going to see them AND US that afternoon. No approximate time was given. I told DH he should have just texted him back and said "sorry, won't work this time, we'll see you when we get home" but he didn't want to do that.

So I'm scurrying around picking things up, making the bed (in case they brought the daughter and her family with them, and someone needed to use the bathroom), setting up chairs by the campfire, etc.

Then we wait. And wait. And wait.

They didn't show up until 4:30. Four hours after the text. And they only stayed 5 minutes and didn't even get out of their car!! They had his wife's (DH's stepmother) grandson and granddaughter with them and "couldn't stay because the grandson had to be back by 6:00 for youth group."

What the heck was the point then?! If you're not even going to get out of the car and stay awhile, why bother?

I'm sure they stayed all afternoon with the stepmother's daughter and family at the state park then felt like they HAD to put in an appearance with us or something. But we would have preferred they didn't. Totally spoiled the entire afternoon.

I thought your ILs were shunning you (from the Amish thread)? Now FIL has a new wife (was he a widow or a divorcee),

I am in the your DH should have text them back to say "We have plans" or "Come by after 5" or the like.

 

[wdwfan16]

Ohhhhh, I have heard FiL vents... I can remember on big one on her "men and their fathers....".
My own inlaw issues were both MIL and FiL.... more greatly FIL, to be sure....

Anyhow, remember....
There are really no inlaw problems.... only marriage problems....
Hope your DH learns to handle this kind of thing better from now on!!!!

So what is your marriage problem?

 

[MIGrandma]

I thought your ILs were shunning you (from the Amish thread)? Now FIL has a new wife (was he a widow or a divorcee),

I am in the your DH should have text them back to say "We have plans" or "Come by after 5" or the like.

No, my in-laws never shunned us. It was DH's grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and this was way, way back when our kids were little (as I think I stated in the Amish thread). My MIL (wonderful woman, we were very close) passed away over 10 years ago. FIL remarried a year later. But does all of this really pertain to the original subject?

 

[wdwfan16]

No, my in-laws never shunned us. It was DH's grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and this was way, way back when our kids were little (as I think I stated in the Amish thread). My MIL (wonderful woman, we were very close) passed away over 10 years ago. FIL remarried a year later. But does all of this really pertain to the original subject?

"Don't even get me started on shunning. Since DH was expelled when he married me, we've had our fair share of that. It broke my heart when we went to a family Christmas gathering and they made us go through the food line first (so we would sit first) and there were 3 rows of tables and not one family sat with us. The last couple (DH's aunt and uncle) that went through the food line actually split up, one sat at one table and the other sat at the other, so nobody would have to sit with us. Our children were probably 6 and 4 at the time and they wanted to know why nobody would sit with us. That was the last family gathering of that nature we went to. "

You implied ALL, which would be MIL and FIL. So that is why it is relevant.

 

[MIGrandma]

"Don't even get me started on shunning. Since DH was expelled when he married me, we've had our fair share of that. It broke my heart when we went to a family Christmas gathering and they made us go through the food line first (so we would sit first) and there were 3 rows of tables and not one family sat with us. The last couple (DH's aunt and uncle) that went through the food line actually split up, one sat at one table and the other sat at the other, so nobody would have to sit with us. Our children were probably 6 and 4 at the time and they wanted to know why nobody would sit with us. That was the last family gathering of that nature we went to. "

You implied ALL, which would be MIL and FIL. So that is why it is relevant.

Hmmm, well....okay then...but I still don't see how that is relevant to this topic.