Non-school Coaches asking to see kids' grades?

[ADisneyQueen]

My dd is in a sport where the kids are grades 3-6. It is not school sponsored or even at a school. We got an email that they would like to see each child's grades to make sure they are doing well. If they get a D or F, they will bench them from a practice. I think this all stems from one of the coaches, who is raising her niece who has a lot of issues and has been benched for grades.
Personally, since it is not a school sport, I don't think it is any of their business what my dd grades are ( she is a really good student and in the gifted program). I realize there are parents that don't care, but is it insulting to parents to ask this? I am responsible for seeing that my child does well in school, not them. What do you think?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd is in a sport where the kids are grades 3-6. It is not school sponsored or even at a school. We got an email that they would like to see each child's grades to make sure they are doing well. If they get a D or F, they will bench them from a practice. I think this all stems from one of the coaches, who is raising her niece who has a lot of issues and has been benched for grades.
Personally, since it is not a school sport, I don't think it is any of their business what my dd grades are ( she is a really good student and in the gifted program). I realize there are parents that don't care, but is it insulting to parents to ask this? I am responsible for seeing that my child does well in school, not them. What do you think?

It is a little odd to do that but if that is what the coach is asking I would comply with the request.

I would not be insulted by it. Not sure where you are getting that emotion from?

 

[happygirl]

My dd is in a sport where the kids are grades 3-6. It is not school sponsored or even at a school. We got an email that they would like to see each child's grades to make sure they are doing well. If they get a D or F, they will bench them from a practice. I think this all stems from one of the coaches, who is raising her niece who has a lot of issues and has been benched for grades.
Personally, since it is not a school sport, I don't think it is any of their business what my dd grades are ( she is a really good student and in the gifted program). I realize there are parents that don't care, but is it insulting to parents to ask this? I am responsible for seeing that my child does well in school, not them. What do you think?

I love this coach, I wish more coaches were worried about a child learning. I don't see anything wrong with this at all.

 

[Aisling]

My son started martial arts when he was 7 years old. (He's 24 now and still heavily into it), and his instructors had a rule of looking at the school report cards every term. Poor grades = no instruction. I wasn't insulted, and it was a great motivator for my son. Be happy that your child's coach takes education seriously. They do this for a good reason.

 

[dispor]

Absolutely inappropriate! The coach should leave the parenting to the parents.

Meant to add... I'd hit "reply all" to that email and tell her you will not be complying with her request.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm with the OP on this one. Some parents might have their children in this sport because academics are a struggle for them and they need someplace unconnected from school to excel.

I certainly feel the parents would have to be watchful that the time spent at the sport does not itself interfere with schoolwork, but it's up to them to monitor. If it's not school-sponsored, I think school should be left out of it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Absolutely inappropriate! The coach should leave the parenting to the parents.

I agree. Unless the child is a problem at practice there is no reason why the kid should be benched. My kids grades aren't anyone's business.

 

[merryweather20]

I agree with you OP, its none of their business.

Besides, what good is sitting on the bench going to do? If Mom and Dad decided the kid needed to stay home, they could be studying. If they're sitting on a bench at practice... not so much.

 

[mamamary]

When you signed your child up to play was there anything on the paperwork requiring this? If not I don't really think it is any of the coaches business (even though yeah it's great he/she wants the child to do well). Not that I'd show the report card but even if I wanted to they are collected once it is brought home and signed by the parent. I'd have to request the school to make a photocopy for me.

 

[Abbie]

I understand the reasoning but I would decline. I wouldn't be insulted though....are you worried they are trying to imply your DD is not a "good student"? Bottom line is that your child's participation is solely up to you as parent at this point (that will change in high school!) and you get to decide if they participate regardless of the grades. So no, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it but just politely and privately decline to share.

 

[happygirl]

I'm really shocked I don't know why ((dis boards)) That people would allow there child to play on a sports team with bad grades, What kind of lessons is that teaching a child. It's okay to get bad grades you can still do sports of fun things

 

[Mermaid02]

I agree with the OP and I think I know why she feels insulted.... the implication is that the COACH is more fit to decide if her child is doing well enough to participate.... in fact since this is NOT a school sport- school should be left totally out of the equation. Maybe a child struggles in school but feels good about himself on the basketball court? It is up to the PARENT if their child should participate.

I would NOT comply and I would tell them why.

 

[shrubber]

I say great, the coaches and the organization realize that sport X should come in #2 behind school work. If my kid was failing a course in school, they would participate in extra curricular activities only after bringing their grades back up.
My son played Pee Wee football last fall, and the coaches made it perfectly clear, bad grades, no play time.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm really shocked I don't know why ((dis boards)) That people would allow there child to play on a sports team with bad grades, What kind of lessons is that teaching a child. It's okay to get bad grades you can still do sports of fun things

Just because a child isn't making honor roll does NOT mean they aren't trying. A child with a learning disability probably tries harder than many of the honor students.... should that child have NO joy in their life because they don't get good grades??

 

[Aisling]

Just because a child isn't making honor roll does NOT mean they aren't trying. A child with a learning disability probably tries harder than many of the honor students.... should that child have NO joy in their life because they don't get good grades??

My son's coach didn't care about "honor" grades; he cared about passing grades. If a child was failing a subject, they were told they needed to focus on passing and use the sports time for tutoring/studying etc.

 

[Mermaid02]

My son's coach didn't care about "honor" grades; he cared about passing grades. If a child was failing a subject, they were told they needed to focus on passing and use the sports time for tutoring/studying etc.

And if this is OK with the parents, I think that is great! BUT the fact remains, this is NOT a school sport and unless grades are part of the original agreement, I don't think they should factor in after the fact. Keep in mind folks, this country just gets fatter and fatter..... that afterschool play time we had as kids is taken up now by an ungodly amount of homework. Our kids spend a lot of their time as "screen time" .......... if you have a child who enjoys playing extra curricular sports and MOVES on a regular basis.... I say you have done a FABULOUS job as a parent.... I also say this is just as important as spelling and current events..........

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I guess I'm in the unique position to both agree with the OP...I think in this case the coach is out of line...and also have my dd in an activity that monitors her grades. I love it when I get to walk on both sides of a line

DD10 is on a competition dance team and the teacher requires every dancer to turn in a copy of their report card each term. Her position is that the competition dancers require a larger time commitment and shouldn't be on team if they can't handle their schoolwork also. The teachers have dropped dancers from the competition team because of grades....but they still get to take other non-competition classes.

I agree with this policy and comply without question. I would, however, have a problem if the dance teacher required all dancers to do this.

So basically, if the OP's child was on a travel or club team....I think that's a good rule. No way if it's just a regular team.

 

[BabyTigger99]

I see nothing wrong with it. Too often you have parents pushing kids into sports at all costs, putting the value on the sport over education. My son plays Pop Warner football and when we register him, we need to send a copy of his latest report card. With other sports DS has done (wrestling, travel soccer), coaches have said to parents that academics does come first, and if you feel your child is slacking in school, to please let the coach know, and they will not let your child participate in a practice/game, to help send a message to them.

 

[Tink888]

My dd is in a sport where the kids are grades 3-6. It is not school sponsored or even at a school. We got an email that they would like to see each child's grades to make sure they are doing well. If they get a D or F, they will bench them from a practice. I think this all stems from one of the coaches, who is raising her niece who has a lot of issues and has been benched for grades.
Personally, since it is not a school sport, I don't think it is any of their business what my dd grades are ( she is a really good student and in the gifted program). I realize there are parents that don't care, but is it insulting to parents to ask this? I am responsible for seeing that my child does well in school, not them. What do you think?

I wouldn't find it insulting but I do find it inappropriate. If it's not a school sponsored activity and this wasn't a written condition when you signed your child up to participate, I would politely inform the coach that you won't be providing grades as it isn't their concern or business.

I'm really shocked I don't know why ((dis boards)) That people would allow there child to play on a sports team with bad grades, What kind of lessons is that teaching a child. It's okay to get bad grades you can still do sports of fun things

It isn't that people are condoning their kids playing a sport with bad grades, it's that people have an issue with an entity unrelated to academics suddenly requiring grades. If a school has a requirement to maintain a certain average in order for students to participate in a school sponsored sport or other activity, that's fine. This is an athletic association which is unrelated to the school asking to see a child's grades. It's none of their business.

As a parent, I'd be the first person to pull my child from a sport or extra-curricular activity if grades fell by the wayside school sponsored or not. I don't need anyone doing my job for me. If I enrolled my child in an athletic program and wasn't notified about the requirement up front, I'd be ticked.

For me, it goes along the lines of an outside agency trying to dictate how I raise my kids. I manage okay without outside help KWIM?

 

[ADisneyQueen]

Mermaid02- yes, that is what I am saying, they think the coaches should decide if a child is allowed to play, not the parents.
I have a feeling very few parents brought in the report cards, that is why they sent us the reminder email. I will probably just not bring it in. I will see what other parents are doing- I think this is stupid. It should have been an optional thing- I can see where it might help some parents who are having difficulty getting their kids to study. My husband is a college professor, so there has never been an issue with getting our kids to do well as homework is important around here. I do feel bad for the kids who have learning problems and don't get good grades. They don't need to have their coaches involved.

No, there was nothing in the paperwork, just something new, I think b/c of the coach's niece.