Non-custodial parent phone calls to children

[LindsayDunn228]

I can see why that would be irritating, but I think that's the price you pay when you give up your landline.

Anyway, if I were you I'd encourage the calls, but continue to vent to your wife.

I totally agree.

I must say, I have never in my life seen a person with so much drama in their life over such a short period of time.

 

[boomhauer]

I totally agree.

I must say, I have never in my life seen a person with so much drama in their life over such a short period of time.

That was very helpful - Thank you so much!

I for one, have never seen anyone post so many unhelpful posts over a short period of time. Keep up the good work!

 

[boomhauer]

This part is his problem. As long as you are returning his call within a reasonable timeframe, he has not right to be peeved. I could see if he called and called and you didn't call back for a few days. If you are out to dinner, or at a movie, and his number shows up on Caller ID, ignore it and return the call as soon as appropriate.

Last night, my wife was taking a CPR class. Her phone rang 3 times in 30 minutes, 3 voicemails. By the time she got home, my step-son was asleep. Of course, she got the email.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

That was very helpful - Thank you so much!

I for one, have never seen anyone post so many unhelpful posts over a short period of time. Keep up the good work!

You have truly cut me to the bone.

 

[lindakmonty]

what do your local rule papers say? My ex doesn't bother to call our ds...but if he started calling, I'd read our papers for sure to see if he was following the guidelines. I think the set time is a great idea. Of coarse you want to encourage the communication if he wants to talk to his dad.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Doesn't she turn her phone ringer off during class?

well if your wife is out of the house with the phone, then I really think you need to give the Father a way of reaching his child. Parents LIKE to talk to their kids. That is not a bad thing.

 

[boomhauer]

You have truly cut me to the bone.

I can see you don't care what I have to say. The feeling is MORE than mutual. Why don't we agree to just stop posting to one another?

 

[NMAmy]

Honestly, the poor non-custodial father. He's a jerk if he doesn't call often enough--he's an annoying pest if he calls too often.

I bought my dd a cell phone. When she's with me, she can call her dad ANYTIME she wants (and he can call her, too) and when she's with her dad, then I can call her anytime I want.

Don't I remember a thread a while ago where you were talking about how your stepson didn't call your wife when he was with his dad? (If that was someone else, I apologize.) If you got him one of those simple cell phones, there would be no problems with EITHER parent talking to their child whenever they want to.

 

[MAKmom]

I can see why that would be irritating, but I think that's the price you pay when you give up your landline.

Anyway, if I were you I'd encourage the calls, but continue to vent to your wife.

Iagree:
I would get the land line back just so he can call it & forget the aggravation. That way if your home you can have your son answer the phone. Ask him not to call at the dinner hour or after bed time.

 

[boomhauer]

Doesn't she turn her phone ringer off during class?

well if your wife is out of the house with the phone, then I really think you need to give the Father a way of reaching his child. Parents LIKE to talk to their kids. That is not a bad thing.

It's all still new to us. Like I said, he never called his son before about a month ago. He was calling every other night, so she wasn't expecting his call.

But that's a good idea. If she's not at home or I'm with him, he could just call my cell.

I still like the idea of calling at bedtime.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

So does this man pay child support? I'm thinking HE ought to be buying his son a phone.

My stepdaughter's half-brother used to call her 15+ times a day. If I didn't answer the phone, he would call back incessantly until I did answer. It drove me insane to be on the phone with someone important while this little guy would call to discuss the last commercial he saw.

The family now calls her on the cell phone after 7 pm when minutes are free so I don't have to be bothered with it.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I can see you don't care what I have to say. The feeling is MORE than mutual. Why don't we agree to just stop posting to one another?

If the feeling is more than mutual, then why am I not on your ignore?

Seriously Boomie, most of your threads here are negative. Wife's ex is calling too much; stepson has an attitude; WDW wouldn't let me babyswap; you get the idea. The general impression you give is something bad is going on in your life every day. You yourself posted that no one is interested in the good things in your life so you don't bother posting them. Remember?

That's why I posted what I did.

 

[bumbershoot]

Because we got rid of our landline and he calls my wife's cellphone. If we're out at dinner or at a movie, we don't want to have to answer the phone. He gets peeved if we don't answer.

We gave up our landlines long ago, but we have no complicating factors. You do. IMO it's inappropriate for him to be calling your wife's private cellphone. If we had such a circumstance, we would reinstall our landline, even if it's only for the father to call his son.

When people call cellphones, they expect to get an answer. If you don't answer, you're likely screening. So if he feels screened, it might hurt his feelings. Now it sounds like he has some issues. I know my own dad does, and he has NEVER called once a day. But when we were kids, if he took the time to call and we weren't there, it hurt his feelings.

So, since you can't make him change his personality, either let this roll off your backs, or change something about the way you receive his phone calls. Since I feel that cell phones for kids are inappropriate, to me, the only solution is the landline again with the group answering machine message.

Or you could see if stepson would like to make a preemptive call to his dad, on nights that you guys are out until bedtime, so that he gets his talking in and no one has to get a "where are you" message or email.

 

[mommasita]

Well everything family is obviously different, but my parents separated when I was 11, and my Dad called maybe once a year at best for 10 years.... I wish he would have been half as interested as your Step son's dad...

Now I am 38 and he calls me daily

 

[boomhauer]

If the feeling is more than mutual, then why am I not on your ignore?

Seriously Boomie, most of your threads here are negative. Wife's ex is calling too much; stepson has an attitude; WDW wouldn't let me babyswap; you get the idea. The general impression you give is something bad is going on in your life every day. You yourself posted that no one is interested in the good things in your life so you don't bother posting them. Remember?

That's why I posted what I did.

I have almost 5,000 posts on here. If you know that much about me, you need to get a life.

That's the impression that you and a few others get. I can't help that. And honestly, I don't care.

I don't owe you an explanation as to why I post what I do. If you wanna keep on bashing me, knock yourself out. I can't see why in the world that you feel that is necessary, but whatever.

 

[RitaZ.]

I bought my dd a cell phone. When she's with me, she can call her dad ANYTIME she wants (and he can call her, too) and when she's with her dad, then I can call her anytime I want.

There it is! Excellent and simple solution.

Get a pre-paid phone for the boy and you'll have one less thing to stress over. He can call his dad and his dad can call him without bothering you or your wife.

 

[poptoone]

If the feeling is more than mutual, then why am I not on your ignore?

Seriously Boomie, most of your threads here are negative. Wife's ex is calling too much; stepson has an attitude; WDW wouldn't let me babyswap; you get the idea. The general impression you give is something bad is going on in your life every day. You yourself posted that no one is interested in the good things in your life so you don't bother posting them. Remember?

That's why I posted what I did.

Must have attention, must have attention! Must post all my problems to get attention!

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

What does their custody/parenting plan agreement say?

You can have it rewritten to include calling hours and days, a friend of mine had to do it for her daughter and ex. It's taken the guessing out of it with there being a set time.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Boomie, to be honest, I probably would never notice it was you who started a thread if it wasn't for your avatar. Some poster's stick out in my mind more than others. Yours is one of them.

 

[solferino]

I have almost 5,000 posts on here.
If you know that much about me, you need to get a life.

No wonder people know so much about you.



But back to the post- reinstate the landline, have him call your cell, have his son call him, have him call his son at a specified time or ask him to buy a cell for his son. But even if he does buy a cell for his son it's something else that's going to turn into an inconvenience at some point.