No references left = no trade?

[Luv2Roam]

Normally not leaving references didn't bother me much, as I had plenty of references. Starting over with a new e-mail addy, I feel more comfortable with the more references I have. (And yes, I have e-mailed -- twice to two different people -- and posted asking how to have my references moved.)
I traded with a board regular last month. Everything was fine just as I knew it would be. I left my reference. They didn't.

Today I receive a TA request from them. Not one I would jump on anyway. Fair. But nothing that just strikes me, if you know what I mean.
I decided to decline.
Why? They apparently don't leave references. Now that I think of it, they didn't even e-mail to say if they rec'd the pin. I *assume* they did, as I never heard anything since our trade agreement. Communication/feedback does not appear to be their strong point.
I am sure the trade would be fine. No qualms. But say if a problem did arise, it could become an issue.

So, my topic for today --
How do you feel when no communication/references are reciprocated?

 

[atlnewf]

I don't generally worry about references, but no communication bothers me. I like to know that things are ok with the trade, that they got the pin, that nothing happened to it in shipment. If the consistently don't talk to me, I might start declining.

Ashley

 

[daber]

From the other side of the fence.
I don't leave references......because my firewall blocks me. So does this make me a bad trader?

 

[Eeyore's Pal]

First, I better publicly apologize to anyone and everyone that I've traded with lately. I have developed a bad habit of doing a month's worth of references at once. <i>I just did caught up last weekend on every trade back to the first week of January.</i>

To make matters worse, I often do not send a message when the pin arrives, or I send it a week later. So I have been a <i>bad pintrader</i> more than I'd like to admit.

Finally, there are still bugs in the Dizpins Reference Center:

<b>As of today</b>, because I just tried this again only a moment ago -
1. I can see only one reference left by my DS#2, Josh - DieHardDonald. Yet I have seen him enter references, I have entered them for him, and we have even gone to the recipient's reference page and the references (mostly) do appear there.
2. About 50% of the time when I try to check references, I get a debug error.

Now these are just the errors that I've seen. What errors are others seeing? Who knows? So Barb's trading partner may actually have tried to leave a reference, or may think he/she did leave a reference.

And <b>yes,</b> I have tried to get someone at Dizpins to respond to my error questions, but have had no luck from that quarter.

Now Barb also cites general poor communications. Since I'm guilty of that, I find it hard to defend. However, I will point out one consideration. In the last 6 weeks AOL and Yahoo have both rolled out an upgraded SPAM filter. I am sure that other major email systems have done the same. I <b>know</b> that some of my legitimate (Yahoo) mail is landing in SPAM folder every day. I have heard from several AOL users that they are having the same problem. Based on this current situation, I have to give a little extra leeway on poor communications....at least for now.


Now what was the original questions?

Oh, yeah....Communications. I'd prefer tight prompt responses. Who wouldn't? I'll manage with a couple degrees less, but I too can get fed up.

I absolutely <b>do not</b> mail out a pin if I have not had a confirmation email that my trading partner is doing the same. And I always tell my trading partner my mailing date. As to follow up, that's my weak point, so I guess I'm also more forgiving on that end of the transaction.

 

[iamsorcerermickey]

I leave references, but do not e-mail that the pin has been received. I figure that they know all is well because I left the reference. I would only e-mail them back if there was a problem.

I would rather have the reference myself. Although, I know that I have no where near the references that I should have.

 

[Luv2Roam]

Agree - the reference is the more important.
And I am not saying the other person is a bad trader. Far from it. I promptly rec'd my pin. And I would trade with them again.
But this morning when I was straddling the fence on whether to agree to the trade or not, it swayed my decision not to.

 

[TIGGERSMOM]

I was guilty of not emailing when pin arrived all the time. I find if I just figure OK I will take one day & email all my arrivals and do references, taht I actually do it.
If I tried to do it every day it is more of a chore. Once or twice a week works great.

I had the same problem as I have changed my pinpics name & email due to congestion in my old address. I made the same request about 3 times, then posted it publicly on the other board - bingo changed in a day.

I can see your point about swaying the trade.

 

[RamVA]

Here is yet another case where I am more demanding of my own behavior than someone else's.

I try to email when the pin arrives, and probably am consistent in doing this about 98% of the time. Also consistent in leaving references about the same percentage, although, sometimes the timing on leaving the reference is not immediate.

On the flip side of the coin, I never give a thought to whether others are leaving me a reference, and almost never give it a thought if they don't tell me they received the pin. I think I have jsut gotten used to the fact that in my almost 3 years of trading about that same percentage--at least 90%--do not let me know the pin has arrived.

Their lack of "follow-up" communication does NOT influence me at all as to whether or not I will trade with them. I, personally, am much more disturbed by the people who send me the "unbalanced, lopsided" trade requests, than I am by the "non-communicators". In fact, there is one specific person that I have decided not to trade with on matter of principle for this reason.

 

[olbear]

The only excuse I can offer, is like most...LIFE!!

I am bad for remembering to leave references. And I only e-mail if pin is not recieved timely in trade. I do not have a habit of e-mailing when pin is recieved.

Both of these may not be the greatest habits, but most of the time it cannot be helped. Out side of that excuse/reason, I have a rotten memory, so alot of the times, I just plain forget to leave references.

I still consider my self a good and fair trader in general. But I do apologize for not being the greatest at remembering references.
Between my job and my mom, I'm lucky to remember to go to post office to mail trades!!

Most of the time I even have my TA turned off, so I don't upset people if I don't answer their TA request. That is one thing I always do, is respond to TA requests. I don't like to be left wondering, so I do accordingly as I would like to be done for me in that regard.

Blessings,
Winnie

 

[3kids4me]

Warning: This is harsh

I forget to leave references quite a bit and then try to catch up later. Actually, the concept that someone would not trade with me because I didn't leave a reference is more disturbing than anyone not leaving one in the first place! To me this is another example of too much stress added to the idea of trading pins. If someone doesn't reply to a request, they are no good...if someone replies but says "no thanks" they are no good...if someone proposes a trade that someone else thinks is unfair...they are no good....if someone doesn't leave a reference, they are no good....if someone makes the same request over and over, they are no good....

To me, the only problem is when someone never sends their pin. Otherwise, life happens. I just can't obsess over it and can't be bothered making lists of people who have "wronged" me in some way. I'll be the first (and only, maybe) to say that people get way too obsessed with this, and invite some of them to walk a mile in another person's shoes.