no guests?

[hulagirl87]

I have a question to anyone that planned or is planning a wedding and it is just the two of you, you and your DF. That is what we are planning, and in general getting a good response from friends. From family, it's a different story. No one really understands it, especially my mom. She is really hurt and doesn't understand why I wouldn't want her there. It's not that, it's just a decision that my DF and I have made that we want it to be the 2 of us.

My question is this... has anyone given you a hard time, and if so, how do you not let it get you down. I've just started planning and am already really sad. I just told my grandma right now that it's just going to be the me and DF and she sounded so bummed!

This is our day, shouldn't everyone just be happy for us?

Sorry, thanks for listening!!

 

[princessdisneybelle]

I'm sure its not that they aren't happy for you. It's that they want to share in that happiness. Especially your Mom and Grandma. This is a tough decision for you. I hope you can figure something out that can make you all happy.

Here is some pixie dust for you.

 

[2006 Disney Mom]

'

 

[afinter1]

Hi hulagirl87!

Believe me when I say I went through the exact same thing! After some looking around at weddings and trying to decide what we wanted, my DF and I wanted to have a private ceremony where it was just the two of us. We feel as though this wedding is something between us . . . and we don't want to turn it into a production where it's all about everyone else. We're not found of being the center of attention and thought getting hitched in WDW would be an awesome idea, without guests would make it less stressful for us too.

All of our friends thought it was the best idea they've ever heard! We didn't get the same sentiments from our immediate families. They were sad that they couldn't be there for our special day. Now, don't get me wrong, I completely understand where they're coming from, but I also feel that this is our wedding and we're entitled to go about it any way we want to. So please don't feel bad or guilty about your decision, you just have to realize no matter how you slice it, someone's not going to be happy with your wedding plans.

In order to make everyone feel more involved we're having a reception for after we get back from our DFTW. DF and I would much rather see everyone come out and party at our reception than come to WDW and spend lots of money for one day. Some people might not understand this, but it's ultimately what we want.

I hope everything works out for you. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk! Everything's on good terms with our families now that we've stood firm with our decision. Just make sure you're not changing your mind to appease other people, because then you'll be the one who's unhappy in the end. You sure don't want that to happen on your wedding day!

Good luck and keep us posted! You've found a great place for support!

 

[2006 Disney Mom]

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[afinter1]

Fine, don't invite all of the relatives. But your mom and dad and his mom and dad?!?
They aren't worried about the cost of coming, they want to be there to see you exchange your vows. AND IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN, YOU STILL NEED WITNESSES ! ! ! So you are not just alone with the person marrying you ~~ someone has to sign that they witnessed it.

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[Maggimus]

First of all, if a witness is necessary, then your WC can sign for you.

This is the same discussion we had not too long ago with Summer-Caitlin.. that ended up a nasty mess due to some rude and cruel comments...
See this thread...
Nearly everything that will be said here has already been said in Summer-Caitlin's thread...

TONS of people get married by themselves with no friends or family. That was mine and DH's intentions from the beginning. We invited both sets of parents and only mine came (hard on DH). The day isnt about your mother, your friends, your grandparents, or your dog... the day is about you.

Hulagirl87- No matter what anyone says... its your right in life to do what you want to do. Only you and your DF know what will make you truely happy.

BTW- Special hello to KimNKel who leaves tomorrow for her DFTW alone with her DF at SBP on the 14th. Early Congrats and have a safe trip!

Afinter- I agree with you. We had a reception for everyone when we got back home- and we had a blast!! There was no need for them to spend all of that money on going to florida. We set up a tv that played the video- so those who were that interested could watch it. We had a great time and threw a big party. It was just like being in Florida- but with a lot less expense to those who naturally cant afford to just fork out thousands of dollars.

 

[afinter1]

Thanks Maggimus. It was not my intention to offend anyone, but rather give hulagirl87 some insight. I firmly believe this board should promote positive topics/comments. In the end we should be supportive of one another!

 

[JandJ]

For what it's worth, in FL you do not need any witnesses to make your marriage legal. It's just a formality, we had 2 witnesses, but it's not legally necessary in FL.

And yes, the thread with Summer_Caitlin got VERY ugly (thanks for the reminder Maggimus ).

hulagirl87 - Your wedding should be your day. DH and I wanted a very small wedding, we had 8 guests - his parents, my daddy, my brother and his wife, my sister, my best friend (who introduced me and DH), my Godmother (who would not have been there had my mom not passed away), and my niece was our only attendant. Who complained - the 30 aunts and uncles, 100s of cousins, and 4 grandparents who were not included! You can never win so just do what makes you and your DF happy and best wishes!

 

[jojoandhb]

My situation is almost the opposite of yours. I WANT family at my wedding, but it's not going to happen. My family is not close. There are a lot of issues among them, and they are all angry and negative. I don't know my mother. In fact, I wish I had a mother I do have a daughter, she's only 3, but when she gets married, if I wasn't there, I'd be really heartbroken. She's my baby. She's my little girl, and I do so much for her and want so much for her...I'd be really hurt if she left me out.

 

[2006 Disney Mom]

'

 

[hkhexom]

The day isnt about your mother, your friends, your grandparents, or your dog... the day is about you.

I definately agree. Its your day and you shouldn't compromise for anyone except maybe you DF. You have to make yourself happy first!

 

[Summer-Caitlin]

Well, I remember the thread where I posted this question, and as Maggimus said it got very ugly. People personally attacked me without even knowing me and I was being hurt by many comments left on the thread.

hulagirl - while my situation has changed slightly, my mom is now coming, but only for the week rather than three. I still stand by everything I said in that thread. I was not being intentionally selfish, I still believe it is you and your DF's day and you need to do what makes you happy. My mom started to come round to the fact that we were going to get married alone, I was the one however that came up with the compromise and was not pushed into it by anyone. Listen to what people have to say but ultimately it is your decision and one that you and your DF should make together. If you want to chat at anytime, just pm me.

I hope things work out for you, but I am in your corner

 

[PipesofLirael]

My two cents...

Follow your heart. It's your day and you should do what makes you happy. Parents aren't always wonderful.

Case in point: My future sister in law was never close with her mother. She chose to bow down to guilt and invite her mother to the ceremony. Right before she walked down the aisle, that monster told her that she looked incredibly ugly in her dress. The woman has a thyroid problem, and her mother berrated her for how fat she looked! She almost started crying before walking down the aisle.

No, not all mothers are like this. I'm not even saying you're purposefully attempting to exclude your family. But there are reasons for our actions that can't be explained in real life, much less on this board. No one here can know the full story so, obviously, no one here can decide for you.

It's your day. Be happy.