No Fault Divorce

[ILUVDXL]

Has anyone gone this way? This morning one of my staff came to me asking I I knew lawyer. It's been 30 years since I was in the law and I'm pretty sure all the attorney I delt with have long passed away as they elderly to begin with. I asked him what kind of attorney he was looking for and he said one for a divorce.

They don't own anything except 2 cars and they have a liitle girl who I think is around 8. He wants nothing from the wife, but I was wondering with a child in the picture must they go through the proper divorce proceedings instead of the no-fault, which was my original thought to avoid any mud slinging, since from what I understand the wife is unfaithful to the marriage. Any thoughts or experiences you could share with me I'd appreciate . I reaaly like this man nad don't want to see him taken over the coals. By the way neiher of them make a great deal of money. Thanks for you help.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by ILUVDXL
Has anyone gone this way? This morning one of my staff came to me asking I I knew lawyer. It's been 30 years since I was in the law and I'm pretty sure all the attorney I delt with have long passed away as they elderly to begin with. I asked him what kind of attorney he was looking for and he said one for a divorce.

They don't own anything except 2 cars and they have a liitle girl who I think is around 8. He wants nothing from the wife, but I was wondering with a child in the picture must they go through the proper divorce proceedings instead of the no-fault, which was my original thought to avoid any mud slinging, since from what I understand the wife is unfaithful to the marriage. Any thoughts or experiences you could share with me I'd appreciate . I reaaly like this man nad don't want to see him taken over the coals. By the way neiher of them make a great deal of money. Thanks for you help.

I don't know if no-fault (or "dissolution" in Ohio) can be used when there are kids. I do know that many states consider "irreconcileable differences" grounds for divorce, so mud-slinging isn't necessary if the husband doesn't want or need to sling it.

 

[Maleficent13]

Laws are different everywhere I think, but where I live I got a "dissolution" to my marriage, which amounts to a no-fault divorce I would imagine. We didn't have kids but my attorney told us it would be no different if we had them as long as both of us agreed to all the terms with no reservations.

 

[Sandy V.]

My first thought is to have your friend and his wife sit down and see if they can iron out as many of the issues beforehand to see if they can avoid the expense of hiring separate attorneys. Then they may be able to accomplish all of this with a single attorney. If this isn't possible, then your friend needs to obtain an attorney to protect his individual rights. It may be expensive, but necessary if the wife is "difficult".

Issues they'll have to examine for sure: custody (joint or not), visitation, child support, any special needs of the child, who gets the tax exemption, paying for college, life insurance beneficiaries (and maintaining policies in the event one of the parents dies), car titles, who lives in the family house (if there is one). Plus any special family circumstances (inheritances, professional licenses obtained during the marriage, etc.). It doesn't sound like there are any of these, but I included them just in case. Everything should be spelled out in a written document, so there isn't any misunderstanding/attempt to "welch" on the agreement at a later date.

Good luck to your friend. My neice is going through this now. Fortunately, she and her husband were able to work through a single attorney, although it still makes me a little nervous!

 

[ILUVDXL]

An additional question. Can you just go to the court house and fill out the paper work or does and attorney need to prepare the documents?

 

[Sandy V.]

It probably depends on the state you live in. Here in Colorado, there are Domestic Relations referees that parties can work through without an attorney. I would have your friend go to the local courthouse and try and obtain information there.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by ILUVDXL
An additional question. Can you just go to the court house and fill out the paper work or does and attorney need to prepare the documents?

I did my own, but mine was totally uncontested (ex-DH didn't even show up for the court date), and we had no assets or debts to split or custody to arrange. Tell your friend to be prepared for a LOT of paperwork if he does it himself - I had to do almost 50 PAGES for my simple-as-it-gets version.

 

[CarolA]

I am sorry, but if there are children involved each side should have thier own attorney. Child support and visitation issues need to be CLEARLY addressed. (Just read some of the other messes we read about on this board!)

 

[DaveH]

I agree each side needs an attorney for this because of the child. It can still be done with minimum of hassle if both sides can agree on stuff. Him having his own attorney protects him and the child from his point of view. She having hers should protect her and the child from her point of view. A good attorney can help them make sure all the issues are covered to prevent any more expensive returns to court to straighten something out they did not think of before.

 

[clhcpaca]

Having been through a divorce lately, NO FAULT just means that you don't have to blame anyone or state a reason for getting a divorce, like adultery etc. In California, all divorces are NO FAULT. You just go through the legal procedures, with or without a lawyer (your choice). I did my own---husband's adultery--following legal guide from Nolo Press. They have several, depending on the states and also a web board for questions. We had been married 33 years and had a grown daughter so no custody issues. It is usually recommended that you use a lawyer if children are involved....it's alot more complicated. And...if one person does get a lawyer...probably the other one should----to be on a level playing field.


Cindy