No alcohol at a class reunion - unusual?

[castleview]

Admittedly haven't read the whole thread, but both my and DH's last few class reunions have had fairly low turnouts because the organizers insist on open bar which is very expensive. I don't know why they wouldn't go with cash bar though.

 

[Acklander]

Put any other beverage in place of alcohol and it just sounds ridiculous...I really like sweet tea, should I be upset if an event only serves unsweetened?

Should you insist that only sweet tea be served because that's YOUR preference?

 

[goofy!]

I agree - the people who are upset that they are not getting the "choice" of alcohol can "choose" not to attend if a drink means that much to them.

Nah. That is the evening purpose of opaque coffee cups.

Around here, you will see plenty of parents sipping their evening "Starbucks" at Friday evening sports practices, etc.

Also, white wine is exactly the color of Lipton Green Tea in a bottle, just saying

In fact, we just came back from an evening in the park with Firefall. The ladies had some wonderful green tea while we were relaxing, enjoying the music and good company.

I sit on the board of directors of our kids' swim team. We don't bat an eye if parents bring a cooler of beer or wine coolers to any of the social events. In fact, we were contemplating having t-shirts made up "Our kids swim like fish, our parents drink like fish."

As for our HS reunion - that would never fly. Since my class graduated in the drug and alcohol haze of the 70's and the teachers did not catch the bong hidden in the artwork (submitted and created by students) that was printed on our senior mugs, I highly doubt a dry reunion would be tolerated.

 

[carmiedog]

I read the thread title and my first thought was "sure...if you're in Arkansas" then scrolled down and saw your location. Don't know if that's really where the reunion is at, but still funny. I grew up in Arkansas...both the Bible Belt AND and in a dry county.

eta: Read a little further and the reunion IS in Arkansas. For all its backwards ways, I still miss Arkansas and it'll always be "home." I grew up there Pentecostal. Thankful to have converted to a denomination that allows me to imbibe a little now and then.

 

[Acklander]

I don't see the problem. I don't understand drinking alcohol every day -- I don't even think about alcohol every day. If I were planning the event, it would never occur to me to include alcohol.

But the organizers did think about it and let everyone know, several times, they they were deciding what they can and cannot drink.
Let's swap out the alcohol part for a moment. Let's say the few organizers were vegans - they think anyone who eats meat is a cruel animal murderer. They are in charge of organizing a reunion of 100 people and because they don't eat meat they will have a totally vegan menu even if a majority of the attendees were not vegetarian. Now, they are holding the reunion at a location where you could have a choice between a vegan meal and a non vegan meal but that doesn't matter as they would rather everyone eat vegan for the night. Attendees are posting on facebook that they would prefer a choice, but that doesn't matter - they are the organizers, they are vegan, and it will be done their way. In this instance I would think the organizers have forgotten that it's not a private party but a get together for ALL the members of their class not just the vegans. I'm sure the attendees would survive an all vegan party - but they wouldn't enjoy it as much as if they had a choice.

 

[ms.yt]

Actually, the listed reasons for no alcohol were "incidents" at the 10 year reunion and that some members of the class had joined the clergy. I don't think we know that the committee used "religious reasons". OP said hubby doesn't remember anything from the 10 year reunion, but is it possible something happened after he left?
Is it possible the committee is worried about someone drinking too much and then driving?
I'm sorry I just don't get SOLELY turning down an event simply because they won't serve alcohol. Yes, I get the afternoon event is "dry". And this will make (heaven forbid) TWO "dry" events. How will anyone survive?
That being said, I went to my 10th anniversary, skipped my 20th and probably the rest. Had nothing to do with what they were serving.
Think about other events... would you skip a nieces wedding (for example) if there was no alcohol at the reception? What about you companies "Holiday Party"?
It just seems strange to me that people that are almost 40 years old MUST have alcohol to "have a good time".

Okay, for the record, I never said that we were considering not going because of the no alcohol thing. We just thought the whole thing was strange. As far as the incidents at the 10 year reunion are concerned, my husband said he stayed for the whole reunion and some of the "unofficial" after party and never saw any incidents. Even if there were, it's been 10 years, so I would think people could be given the benefit of the doubt that any errors in judgement wouldn't be repeated. There is apparently an "unofficial" after party this time as well that people will of course be free to have a drink at, but, as of yet, we don't know any details about where it will be or who will be attending.

Here is what one of the three organizers put on the class FB page when the debate broke out about the no alcohol thing:
For those of you who are upset with the "no alcohol" class reunion, This is a reminder that there will be an after party starting at 9pm. We have many classmates who are in the ministry and others who said they would not be coming because of some things that had happened at the 10 year. We want everyone to come, to get their picture taken with the group and partake in the evening without feeling uncomfortable. Out of respect for those classmates, this was the best solution that we had to the problem.



My husband said that the thread included several people asking what the things were that happened at the 10 year, but the organizers refused to answer. When I logged on to his FB today to look at the event details, all of the responses to the thread that was started with the above comment had been deleted. He said there were around 50 in the days after it was first posted.

 

[Mama Who]

The comparison was ridiculous, not the stripping itself.



Wow! There you go assuming too much again. Nah, no objections here. Not sure about dinner in your house but I often like a glass of wine with my dinner. However, the striptease accompaniment? Not so often. Same in restaurants. I go to restaurants that serve wine but I don't find myself frequenting restaurants that have strippers on the table. I'm just weird like that I guess. Dinner with wine or a beer - completely commonplace. Dinner with a stripper, much less commonplace.

Nope, no assumption here. You made it quite clear that one adult legal activity is totally normal to you and even necessary to a good party while the other one is in a totally different category *to you* and you're incapable of seeing the similarity. Fact is, both are legal for adults but offensive to some people and neither is necessary to a party. (Well, I guess there are people too lame to have fun without liquor, but surely none of them post here.)

YOU make one okay and normal and the other inappropriate to the event. Other people think neither is appropriate. Still others think both are appropriate. The point is that just because you have decreed that only one is reasonable at this event doesn't make it so. The final call is made by the people who organize the event.

 

[Mama Who]

I really don’t know how one can compare a stripper at a class reunion to enjoying a cocktail?

Because they are both legal activities that some people find offensive and others find pleasurable. I don't know how some people can get so hysterical about the thought of an evening without alcohol. Are they that dependent? That's sort of sad if they can't manage to have a good time sober.

 

[bumbershoot]

The only way I'd go to another reunion is if massive amounts of alcohol were involved. LOL

I attend mine, though I despised high school...I kinda like the reunions, and since I'm the same, I'm thinking it's b/c I can have beers while socializing with them now. Maybe HS would have been so much better if I'd had a beer at lunch!

Maybe they are trying to cut costs by not paying for alcohol.

I bet it's partially that. They can talk about "incidents" all they want, they can talk about the discomfort of some people, but they are making OTHER people uncomfortable while doing so. And, in my experience, when someone tries to limit alcohol, they cause MORE drinking than there would have been.

Yes, there could have been alcohol that everybody paid for themselves by the drink. The committee of about 3 people made that decision for everybody else.

Ugh. The catering company would have been so much more happy with them if they'd done liquor! I bet the food prices would have been lower, too (offset of course by all the drinking paid for by the guests).


Our reunions have involved a ticket or two for a drink, and having those increases the price by so much. I wish they'd just go straight to a cash bar.

Chiming in too agree with this, too. As we planned our reunion, I got so sick of hearing things like - why didn't you do such and such, it's too much money, it's cheap & you could have done more, etc....it never ended. Most people were fine but there was a vocal set of people. I so wanted to retort back that I would put them on the commuter for the 15 year, then, since they had so many fabulous ideas.

Instead of holding in a "retort", why wouldn't you calmly tell them HOW to volunteer for it in the future?

I wouldn't have a single clue as to how to get on the reunion planning committee. I would like to be, even though I'm 2 states away from where they are held. Because I can't take another event planned by the dingbats that are on the committee at my alma mater. They've done well with *venue*, but have failed in so many other ways, and I'd like to be part of the changing of the guard. I just do not know how.

Is it possible the committee is worried about someone drinking too much and then driving?

Too bad they didn't do the intelligent thing and have it at a hotel! My 10 and 20 years were held at hotels. Built-in liquor license, lots of staff around to help out if something gets weird, and rooms right there to rent so you can drink as you wish.

Let's swap out the alcohol part for a moment. Let's say the few organizers were vegans - they think anyone who eats meat is a cruel animal murderer. They are in charge of organizing a reunion of 100 people and because they don't eat meat they will have a totally vegan menu even if a majority of the attendees were not vegetarian. Now, they are holding the reunion at a location where you could have a choice between a vegan meal and a non vegan meal but that doesn't matter as they would rather everyone eat vegan for the night. Attendees are posting on facebook that they would prefer a choice, but that doesn't matter - they are the organizers, they are vegan, and it will be done their way. In this instance I would think the organizers have forgotten that it's not a private party but a get together for ALL the members of their class not just the vegans. I'm sure the attendees would survive an all vegan party - but they wouldn't enjoy it as much as if they had a choice.

At my 20 year there was ONE thing that I, as an ovo-lacto vegetarian, could eat. Bruschetta. OH how exciting.

They weren't thinking like *hosts*, and were just creating a party for *themselves*. And using their fellow former classmates' money to do it!

Thank goodness I had eaten earlier, figuring that the dingbats wouldn't think of others...

At least an omnivore CAN eat a vegan meal. Someone who is on a more restricted diet, cannot and/or will not.

A person vehemently against alcohol can choose to NOT drink at an event with alcohol. If there's none there, someone who does drink doesn't have the same choice as there would be in the other scenario.

 

[hambirg]

Did we graduate from the same high school

Maybe, was your unofficial mascot the red keg cup?

Kegger in the woods!

Because they are both legal activities that some people find offensive and others find pleasurable. I don't know how some people can get so hysterical about the thought of an evening without alcohol. Are they that dependent? That's sort of sad if they can't manage to have a good time sober.

I have never met anybody that finds adults enjoying a drink as "offensive." This is the Dis boards, after all, and they do serve alcohol at WDW. Do you not go because you find that "offensive"? Do you not go to restaurants that serve alcohol because it's "offensive"?

I think there is a big difference between serving alcohol to adults and strip clubs. I don't see a strip club coming to Epcot anytime soon, but many adults do enjoy a drink there. Apples to oranges. And yes, people don't have to have alcohol for this one event, but the fact is, it sounds like a lot of people going would have liked to have been given the choice.

I know if it was my class. . .forget the after hours party. . .it would be an alternate party. Everyone skip the dry event and meet at such and such club for a reunion where they can choose to buy a drink if they want. It wouldn't even take any planning. . .call a club/bar/restaurant and let them know you are coming. Everyone hosts themselves, and the people that planned this reunion would be stuck paying the bill for an event they planned that nobody wanted to go to. Poetic justice.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

But the organizers did think about it and let everyone know, several times, they they were deciding what they can and cannot drink.
Let's swap out the alcohol part for a moment. Let's say the few organizers were vegans - they think anyone who eats meat is a cruel animal murderer. They are in charge of organizing a reunion of 100 people and because they don't eat meat they will have a totally vegan menu even if a majority of the attendees were not vegetarian. Now, they are holding the reunion at a location where you could have a choice between a vegan meal and a non vegan meal but that doesn't matter as they would rather everyone eat vegan for the night. Attendees are posting on facebook that they would prefer a choice, but that doesn't matter - they are the organizers, they are vegan, and it will be done their way. In this instance I would think the organizers have forgotten that it's not a private party but a get together for ALL the members of their class not just the vegans. I'm sure the attendees would survive an all vegan party - but they wouldn't enjoy it as much as if they had a choice.

At my 20 year there was ONE thing that I, as an ovo-lacto vegetarian, could eat. Bruschetta. OH how exciting.

They weren't thinking like *hosts*, and were just creating a party for *themselves*. And using their fellow former classmates' money to do it!

Thank goodness I had eaten earlier, figuring that the dingbats wouldn't think of others...

At least an omnivore CAN eat a vegan meal. Someone who is on a more restricted diet, cannot and/or will not.

A person vehemently against alcohol can choose to NOT drink at an event with alcohol. If there's none there, someone who does drink doesn't have the same choice as there would be in the other scenario.

An omnivore CAN eat a vegan meal, although they might want to go get a burger afterwards. Someone who drinks CAN drink nonalcoholic beverages for an evening, although they might want to go get a beer afterwards. Same thing.

I went to one wedding where my only beverage choice was to ask a waiter for a glass and go fill it up with water in the bathroom.

If they are talking about incidents that happened at the 10 year reunion, then I would assume that at least one person was not able to control themselves and made other people uncomfortable. I do not like to be around drunk people. I know it's possible to have a drink or two and not get drunk, so I don't avoid all places alcohol is served, but I don't like to be around drunks so I avoid places that could have drunks. That includes parties and events where the main attraction is alcohol. You should really be upset at whoever caused the "incident" at the 10 year reunion that now has the reunion organizers thinking they cannot serve alcohol without causing another "incident."

 

[luvsJack]

Nope, no assumption here. You made it quite clear that one adult legal activity is totally normal to you and even necessary to a good party while the other one is in a totally different category *to you* and you're incapable of seeing the similarity. Fact is, both are legal for adults but offensive to some people and neither is necessary to a party. (Well, I guess there are people too lame to have fun without liquor, but surely none of them post here.)

YOU make one okay and normal and the other inappropriate to the event. Other people think neither is appropriate. Still others think both are appropriate. The point is that just because you have decreed that only one is reasonable at this event doesn't make it so. The final call is made by the people who organize the event.

Where can you possibly see any similarity between serving alcohol and stripping? That is the most outlandish thing I have read in awhile!!

I rarely, rarely drink but I know from experience that people will NOT show up if you do not serve alcohol. Even the ones that DON"T drink!

Personally, I think the reasons they gave are a bit lame. We were able to serve it, have a good time, act like adults AND see most of our classmates (including the ones who have become preachers). If someone didn't want to drink alcohol, there were plenty of other options there.

 

[sam_gordon]

A person vehemently against alcohol can choose to NOT drink at an event with alcohol. If there's none there, someone who does drink doesn't have the same choice as there would be in the other scenario.

So a person who is vehemently FOR alcohol would never go to the MK because they don't have a choice to imbibe?

This is all coming down to "We MUST have alcohol to have a good time." "No alcohol means we'll hate the event". People are saying "they're taking away my choice" like it's some kind of rights issue. But when folks mention OTHER kinds of choices (strippers, coke vs. pepsi, sweet vs. unsweet tea, vegan vs. meat) "it's not the same". Huh?

Yes, I enjoy a cocktail or beer with my meal. But I can also enjoy a meal without one. If I'm going to skip an event it's going to be because of who's attending, what it's about, or simply because I don't do well in social situations. The offering or lack of a certain food or drink doesn't factor into it.

 

[ms.yt]

Well, today's the big day. We're about to head out to the family event. I think the bottom line is that the three people organizing the event decided they didn't want to have alcohol because it makes them uncomfortable. The reason they didn't check with everybody on the FB page before they made the arrangements is because they knew a lot of people would have problems with it. While I'm perfectly capable of enjoying a meal without a drink, it would have been nice to have been treated like an adult and have that option. It seems weird to me to have a one hour meet and greet (typically called a cocktail hour) without cocktails. We rarely get to go out without our three kids, so when we do, we generally like to have a drink. Tonight, however, we won't have that option until the "after" party, for which we don't know any details about.

 

[luvmy3]

Because they are both legal activities that some people find offensive and others find pleasurable. I don't know how some people can get so hysterical about the thought of an evening without alcohol. Are they that dependent? That's sort of sad if they can't manage to have a good time sober.

First of all, hiring a stripper effects everyone at the party, unless he/she is in a backroom. Serving alcohol only effects those drinking it. There is quite a difference between getting offened because some naked woman is rubbing her breasts in your (or your dh's) face and getting offened because someone is having a rum and coke. If you can't see the difference, maybe you should visit a strip club, and then go to a tavern. I'm sure the difference will be quite clear after that
And as far as not being able to manage to have a good time sober, thats a pretty far fetch stretch. Some of us choose to add a few cocktails to our good time, we don't need them to have one

 

[sam_gordon]

And as far as not being able to manage to have a good time sober, thats a pretty far fetch stretch. Some of us choose to add a few cocktails to our good time, we don't need them to have one

OK, then why MUST there be alcohol in order for some people to attend? I don't know if you've said that, but others have.

 

[PatsMom]

Well, today's the big day. We're about to head out to the family event. I think the bottom line is that the three people organizing the event decided they didn't want to have alcohol because it makes them uncomfortable. The reason they didn't check with everybody on the FB page before they made the arrangements is because they knew a lot of people would have problems with it. While I'm perfectly capable of enjoying a meal without a drink, it would have been nice to have been treated like an adult and have that option. It seems weird to me to have a one hour meet and greet (typically called a cocktail hour) without cocktails. We rarely get to go out without our three kids, so when we do, we generally like to have a drink. Tonight, however, we won't have that option until the "after" party, for which we don't know any details about.

BYOB! Just tuck a nip in your pocketbook and add it to your diet Coke! What is the cocktail hour without a cocktail?

 

[pixiechick]

My 30th is in September, and it's being held in a bar.

No one felt like planning anything, but a lot of people wanted to get together. So, someone said fine, let's meet at Bar xyz at whatever o'clock. Cash bar and food available, buy what you want.

I don't think anyone thought to hire the stripper. I'll have to check into that. Then again, given some of the people I went to school with....

 

[auntpoly]

Oh my God this thread is too funny! I don't know where you all are from but around here adult functions have cocktails, wine, beer, whatever - for those who care for them - but we don't hire stripper.

It's perfectly normal to have a drink at an adult party and pretty weird if there's no alcohol. I wouldn't go. Frankly I'd need a drink if I were going to a party with a bunch of people that were too so conservative and controlling.

 

[Acklander]

OK, then why MUST there be alcohol in order for some people to attend? I don't know if you've said that, but others have.

Because a majority of the attendees would like it to be the traditional cocktail party and a small minority of organizers would like no bar and personally I wouldn't want to go to a party being run by a couple of people with a stick up their butt. But that's just me, I'm sure others would feel differently.