No 2014 trip for this gal...

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Ok I need to vent to my fellow dis friends. DH and I were lucky enough to have an all expense paid vacation to Disney in December courtesy of my in-laws. We stayed at WL for the first time and had a blast. I knew while we were there I wanted to try and get back in September 2014 and bring DM with me while DH stayed at home but I waited to book until our finances were a little clearer. I had just received notice I lost my job a few weeks before we left so I also needed to secure another job. Luckily we had a nice Christmas bonus from DH work to help while I was unemployed and I had a job prospect lined up with great pay and benefits.
DH decided he wanted to go with DM and I so we booked WL again for September 2014 and hoped the rest would fall in place. The job prospect I had didn't work out so I spent a longer time unemployed and recently our rental property has had several major problems that has now completely depleted all of our savings.
I did finally get the opportunity to start my own business but I won't see a full return of my income until the business takes off. Luckily I hadn't booked airfare yet so I told DH and DM we need to cancel the trip as there is almost no way we are going to be able to afford this trip. DH completely understood as he knows our finances are shot but DM is pretty upset over the whole thing. I explained this isn't a decision I came to lightly and I still wanted to plan a trip but it wasn't going to happen this year. She said she doesn't want to talk about it anymore has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since. I know time will pass and she will get over it but I hate that she is angry with me. Unfortunately she doesn't have anyone else to go with and she doesn't want to go by herself. Sometimes I hate being a grown up!

 

[clh2]

Ok I need to vent to my fellow dis friends. DH and I were lucky enough to have an all expense paid vacation to Disney in December courtesy of my in-laws. We stayed at WL for the first time and had a blast. I knew while we were there I wanted to try and get back in September 2014 and bring DM with me while DH stayed at home but I waited to book until our finances were a little clearer. I had just received notice I lost my job a few weeks before we left so I also needed to secure another job. Luckily we had a nice Christmas bonus from DH work to help while I was unemployed and I had a job prospect lined up with great pay and benefits.
DH decided he wanted to go with DM and I so we booked WL again for September 2014 and hoped the rest would fall in place. The job prospect I had didn't work out so I spent a longer time unemployed and recently our rental property has had several major problems that has now completely depleted all of our savings.
I did finally get the opportunity to start my own business but I won't see a full return of my income until the business takes off. Luckily I hadn't booked airfare yet so I told DH and DM we need to cancel the trip as there is almost no way we are going to be able to afford this trip. DH completely understood as he knows our finances are shot but DM is pretty upset over the whole thing. I explained this isn't a decision I came to lightly and I still wanted to plan a trip but it wasn't going to happen this year. She said she doesn't want to talk about it anymore has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since. I know time will pass and she will get over it but I hate that she is angry with me. Unfortunately she doesn't have anyone else to go with and she doesn't want to go by herself. Sometimes I hate being a grown up!

Sorry to hear that DM is being a pain about this situation.

Good luck with getting your business off the ground.

 

[ICF]

What's a DM?

I would have thought it was your mother, but the way the "DM" is acting, I'm not so sure.

 

[PrincessJo]

Being a grown-up does stink sometimes, but you and your DH seem to be handling it like champs.

DM on the other hand...

I'm sorry that you're going through this

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

What's a DM?

I would have thought it was your mother, but the way the "DM" is acting, I'm not so sure.

Yes DM is my mother. My mom and I have a backwards relationship. I typically act like the mom in the situation and she acts like the kid. This is a prime example.

 

[Kenjie B]

Would your mom be willing (or able) to contribute financially, to make the trip more affordable for you?

I was in a similar situation when I first got married. My husband and I paid for the majority of our wedding using savings. A few months later, I found myself without a job, and unable to afford the flight to Boston for my brother's graduation. My Dad was REALLY disappointed, so he and my stepmom offered to pay for my ticket. Initially, I felt guilty about accepting the money, but I realized it wasn't really about my pride, it was about spending time celebrating as a family.

I hope your business turns a profit even sooner than you expect so that you and your mom can share the Disney experience this year.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Would your mom be willing (or able) to contribute financially, to make the trip more affordable for you? I was in a similar situation when I first got married. My husband and I paid for the majority of our wedding using savings. A few months later, I found myself without a job, and unable to afford the flight to Boston for my brother's graduation. My Dad was REALLY disappointed, so he and my stepmom offered to pay for my ticket. Initially, I felt guilty about accepting the money, but I realized it wasn't really about my pride, it was about spending time celebrating as a family. I hope your business turns a profit even sooner
than you expect so that you and your mom can share the Disney experience this year.

My mom's financial situation isn't anywhere near being able to help out in terms of the trip, nor would I want her to. We had only paid the initial $200 so the entire remainder of the trip plus airfare was still due. The money we had set aside for the trip was just sucked dry by our rental property and then we still had to cut into savings. To be completely honest it was going to be tight for her too and I was a little worried before this happened if we would have to cover part of her portion.

I think we are going to have to do a full on surprise for her when we plan next. I tried to bring it up again today about going in 2015 but she said that was too far and we could talk about it next year. I can't catch a break with her. The problem is my mom needs at least 9-12 months to save since she doesn't really keep savings for trips. If she won't talk about it now, she won't have time to save even for a 2015 trip. I tried to get her to start a Disney fund and even told her I would open up a separate bank account we could use to keep our funds aside for only Disney. (She's terrible at saving) Maybe she will warm up to it eventually but I figured if she agrees to something along those lines then when dh and I get some savings built up again we can book it and talk to her boss who I'm friends with to secure her time off and just give her a few weeks notice. You know, hey mom we saved up money so now we can seriously talk about Disney. How about we leave next Friday?

 

[writermommy6]

My mom's financial situation isn't anywhere near being able to help out in terms of the trip, nor would I want her to. We had only paid the initial $200 so the entire remainder of the trip plus airfare was still due. The money we had set aside for the trip was just sucked dry by our rental property and then we still had to cut into savings. To be completely honest it was going to be tight for her too and I was a little worried before this happened if we would have to cover part of her portion. I think we are going to have to do a full on surprise for her when we plan next. I tried to bring it up again today about going in 2015 but she said that was too far and we could talk about it next year. I can't catch a break with her. The problem is my mom needs at least 9-12 months to save since she doesn't really keep savings for trips. If she won't talk about it now, she won't have time to save even for a 2015 trip. I tried to get her to start a Disney fund and even told her I would open up a separate bank account we could use to keep our funds aside for only Disney. (She's terrible at saving) Maybe she will warm up to it eventually but I figured if she agrees to something along those lines then when dh and I get some savings built up again we can book it and talk to her boss who I'm friends with to secure her time off and just give her a few weeks notice. You know, hey mom we saved up money so now we can seriously talk about Disney. How about we leave next Friday?

You are a very understanding person. I hope things work out and if nothing else you and your DH go in 2015. As much as you love your mom don't forget that SOMETIMES you have to put you first.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Could you and your mom still do something that week, but more budget oriented than a Disney trip? Would she be open to such an idea?

 

[Marionnette]

I'm sure that your mom will eventually thaw out and become open to discussing a trip again. It's probably just hurting too much to talk about it right now. Give her time to deal with her disappointment and in the mean time, start saving for 2015.

However, while you're building that vacation savings account, make sure that you're beefing up the emergency fund as well. As you've learned, not having enough in the emergency fund really means that your vacation savings get sacrificed when life gets in the way.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Could you and your mom still do something that week, but more budget oriented than a Disney trip? Would she be open to such an idea?

It wasn't about the vacation, it was about getting her back to Disney so we will just wait a little longer.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

I'm sure that your mom will eventually thaw out and become open to discussing a trip again. It's probably just hurting too much to talk about it right now. Give her time to deal with her disappointment and in the mean time, start saving for 2015. However, while you're building that vacation savings account, make sure that you're beefing up the emergency fund as well. As you've learned, not having enough in the emergency fund really means that your vacation savings get sacrificed when life gets in the way.

Oh yes I'm confident she will come around again.

We've been playing the saving game for a long time and our rental house just has something against us but that's a whole other story. We always save for emergencies first then vacation. We had over double digits saved and it's almost all gone. That's why the whole situation sucks. You can never truly plan for such financial blows as we have had in the past few months.