News Flash: The Octopus returns

[joedisney]

It has been confirmed by several inside sources that the famous pooping Octopus is planning a return to Disney in mid-January of 2004. The DIS boards were aflutter with excitement upon hearing the news in anticipation of another round of entertaining trip reports by the almost forgotten joedisney. It is hard to believe that it will be three years since the tales of joe and his crew first surfaced on these boards. The build up of excitement, however, was quickly dispelled by a scathing post by joe in response to a poll in which his reports came in at a distant third place. Our own joedisney was threatening to move out. Would joe really leave the DIS? Are those other reports really that much better? Can joe take the pressure of several new threats and a potentially more significant beating on a future poll? Well, this reporter decided to take matters into his own hands and find out the true inside story.

Let’s start with some background. Much has changed since joe’s original reports. An update on the cast of characters is a good start:

Alex: The infamous Octopus is now four years old. Everyone should be glad to hear that the Octopus is pretty much unchanged. He’s bigger, eats more and now poops in a potty, but is still the same multi-limbed bundle of trouble. The great thing about Alex is that he truly loves just about everything he does. He will head into Disney with that same “take no prisoners” attitude that made him so much fun to watch on his last trip to Disney. Alex would have made Earnest Hemingway proud. This boy lives for the moment, each an every day of his life.

Caley: Also known as Miss Elisabeth, Caley has changed the most, in that she, well, ummm, exists. Ok, that would be on the outside of her mother’s tummy for the Christopher’s of the world (more on that in a minute). This will be the DIS debut of the two year old queen of the house. Joe and his wife are finding out quickly that there is quite a difference in temperament between the boys and their sassy young sister. Caley will be fun to watch as she tests the boundaries of her surroundings as only a two year old can.

Christopher: The map boy is now eleven and has lost little of the innocence that is but a distant memory in most boys his age. Christopher is affectionately known as the stickler. If things aren’t described in the organized detail that is Christopher’s world, he will not hesitate to correct you. Thus, stating that Caley didn’t exist in January of 2001 (see above), for example, would have received a quick and quite condescending correction that she, indeed did exist in her mom’s tummy. The map boy is a great kid and is ready to continue in his role as park navigator. Christopher, to his Dad’s delight, still loves the thrill rides. He was very happy to finally be tall enough to ride the Superman Ride of Steel at Six Flags for the first time this summer. That, by the way, is one unbelievable roller coaster.

Connor: Con Mike is the dramatic one of the family. Like his mother, he will avoid thrill rides like the plague. Recently coaxed onto a mild flume ride, Connor was heard screaming at the top of his lungs while ascending the small hill. Joe is still dealing with a slight loss of hearing in one ear. Connor will not be going on any thrill rides in the near future. At eight, Connor shows an amazing amount of patience when dealing with his challenging younger siblings.

Kathy: At 37, this Mom of 4 has never looked better. Determined to get back in shape, Kathy has fully embraced Bill Phillip’s Body for Life program. Don’t let joe know I said this, but his wife is pretty hot. This tireless mom also does home daycare and is the glue that hold the entire family together. Hobbies include the daily rearranging of furniture and watching some TV show about a bunch of gay guys teaching some straight guy how to clean up his act.

joedisney: Joe is now 42 and is happily planning for the big trip. Joe completed Grad school in May and is wondering where all that extra time he was planning on went.

Having done my homework, it was now time to hit the streets. Where better to start than with joedisney himself. I found out very quickly, however, that joe is not an easy guy to pin down. When he’s not at work, he’s off chauffeuring his family around to various places. With a little perseverance, I was able to track him down as he was barking orders from the side lines of the local U11 soccer team. For you Brit’s, keep in mind that joe is a dedicated coach for both of his older boys soccer teams.

It’s not a pretty site, the local team is down by a goal early. Map boy has just let the go ahead goal trickle through his hands. Yes, it’s raining, but the coach is not happy. Undaunted, I approach joe ready to get the inside scoop.

DIS reporter: joe, we hear you’re planning for another January trip to Disney?

JD: Who the #$%$# are you?

DIS reporter: Just an imaginary character lurking in the deep, troubled recesses of your subconscious mind.

JD: ahhh, I was wondering when you would try to surface. Yep, I am in big time planning mode now. Excuse me, “TJ, NEVER KICK THE BALL IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN GOAL”. Sorry, go on.

DIS reporter: Can you give us any details of your upcoming trip?

JD: The current plan is to spend our first four nights at the Polynesian. Hopefully, AP rates will be coming out soon and I will upgrade to concierge. We are renting DVC points for the remainder of our stay and will be staying at the Beach Club Villas for the next 6 nights. We have never stayed at either of these properties and are excited to try them both.

DIS reporter: Except, of course, for the addition of Caley, will it be the same cast of characters?

JD: Yes, although, my sister, brother-in-law and teenaged daughters will be coming along as well. My nephew, opted out asking, “Why would anyone go to a warm climate when there is snow on the ground?” Ian is a snowboarder with an attitude.

DIS reporter: The scuttlebutt back on the boards is that you were a bit peeved over the results of the “best trip report ever” poll. Do you have any comment?

JD: I have no issues with getting beat in a fair competition.

DIS reporter: Are you implying that the poll was not fair?

JD: You’re the reporter, you figure it out.

Never one to show up at an interview unprepared, I had already done my homework. A quick trip over to the UK boards uncovered some highly questionable activity during the voting process. The issue involved placing votes for the local guy without even reading all of the reports. A quick trip to the UK was in order. Several of the UK DISers were posed with the same question.

DIS reporter: You voted for Kevin in the poll, did you read the reports of all of the contestants before casting your vote?

Some of the responses:

“NO”

“There were other contestants?”

“Kevin’s daughter is so sweet, if joe had some children to write about, he may have had a better chance.”

“While I loved joedisney’s tales of the crawfish, I just thought Kevin’s report was so much better”

I had heard enough. There was definitely evidence of foul play. I wasn’t, however, going to let joe off that easy. Back at the soccer field…

DIS reporter: How about the new competition. Are you afraid of the threat from the opposite sex?

JD: I never intended to wage a war of the sexes. I have seen my wife give birth four times with no drugs (her or me). I have never seen a more inspiring mix of mental and physical determination in my life. Excuse me for a minute, “NICE GOAL EVAN! WE’RE RIGHT BACK IN THIS THING!” Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah; women are tough, but I’ll continue to do my best and welcome the new competition.

DIS reporter: What about Zurg. He seems like he may pose a real threat.

JD: I’m afraid Zurg is on drugs. He’s most likely steeling his wife’s Alzheimer’s medication.
Zurg is deeply troubled. This, however, does make him a real threat. Many of the world’s greatest creative minds were of the same ilk; Vincent Van Gogh (bipolar disorder), John Forbes Nash Jr, Claude Monet (depression), Jimi Hendrix (barbiturate addiction) and Kurt Vonnegut (depression) to name a few.

DIS reporter: Are you planning on anything special to beat out the competition.

JD: New? Hmmm…that’s not a bad idea. I’ll have to think about that one. A new kind of trip report…something different…Sorry, I have to go, the game is ending.

There you have it. Not only is joe planning on staying with the DIS, he has a new round of trip reports planned for early February. Rest easy fellow DISers, joe isn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, a whole new set of questions have been uncovered. Will joe come up with something different? A whole new way of writing a trip report? Pictures? Movies? What does joe have up his sleeve? Will the new female threat live up to the challenge? Or will the troubled genius of the evil Zurg run away with the crown?

What was the score of the soccer game? It was a fiercely contested 1 to 1 tie. I have a feeling this trip report competition may be just as tight. See you in February.

 

[Aristocath]

I can hardly wait! Have a great trip!

 

[pamlet]

I cannot wait!!!!!

I actually printed out Joe's entire first trip report and took it with me on a trip to......... ENGLAND!!!!

Had I known the problems to come with the votes.... I would have made copies and strewn them fromm London to Oxfordshire... that would covered some of the country at least..

Looking forward to the next one!!!

 

[Marlton Mom]

Is there a link to Joe's prior trip reports? I want to see if he has pigmies or son who disses Cinderella kisses. How 'bout a Crystal Palace french toast fixation or even a perspective on the e-ticket ladies room ride? Huh Huh!!! No way! Did he ever mention that they have on site kennels for the really BAD children? Joe Disney's trip reports are gonna have all the impact of those Nursing home escapees that are working the ABC comi-sorry at MGM.

Bring it on baby,

Smoochies, Marlton Mom

 

[Minniespal]

Can't wait for the trip reports ~ Have a great time.

 

[LT Hambone]

Originally posted by Marlton Mom
Is there a link to Joe's prior trip reports? I want to see if he has pigmies or son who disses Cinderella kisses.

Marlton Mom –


Here is the thread that prompted the return of Joe Disney -

Best Trip Report Ever Written


Had it not been for this thread, I feel we may have never heard from Joe again. And if you are unfamiliar as to the source of the "animosity", here's the short end of the story. Apparently, Mr. Stringer posted a thread on the UK boards encouraging his fellow Brits to vote for him even though they may not have read his trip reports. However, this has neither been confirmed nor denied.

For more on the whole issue, check out this post as well –

The best trip report ever???

February is such a long way off……

 

[Robinette]

But February is so far away Well, I'll have the holidays to help get me through. And if the women want a shot at this competition, MScott1851 needs to get going on Day 3!

 

[LT Hambone]

Now that Joe Disney has thrown the gauntlet down hard, the DIS Investigative team has decided to go to the source of Mr. Disney's frustration – LT Hambone. LT Hambone was the individual who ran the poll which elected Kevin Stringer's latest trip report as best ever. We found LT Hambone at his desk where he was supposed to be working -

DIS Reporter: LT Hambone, there have been accusations that the poll you ran was rigged. Any comment?

LT Hambone: The poll was not rigged in anyway.

DIS Reporter: Then how do explain the lack of female authors?

LT Hambone: They weren't nominated!

DIS Reporter: So then the nominations were rigged?

LT Hambone: No, that's not the case. I started a thread asking people to nominate their favorite trip reports, and no one nominated a trip report written by a female. I felt it would not be fair if I decided which trip reports were to be included.

DIS Reporter: Ok, but the bigger issue is what about the UK votes? How do explain that?

LT Hambone: I can't. British humor is an acquired taste, like goose liver pâté. Mr. Stringer's report was very amusing, but most of it read like a BBC broadcast of a cricket match.

DIS Reporter: But what about the votes? There are allegations that people voted for Kevin without reading his post?

LT Hambone: Are you sure you're not confusing this poll with the California recall election? If people vote for someone without looking at the candidate, or reading the candidate's trip report, that's their loss, not the author's. No matter how you run a poll, or an election, you will always have people voting for someone without looking at the facts.

DIS Reporter: So then this poll was designed to see who is the most popular person on the boards?

LT Hambone: No, not all. Because of the very nature of the boards, threads will get pushed to the back. Buried deep within the boards are the most wonderful threads, but because they are posted so far back, newer generations of DISers do not get a chance to enjoy their beauty. Unless someone bumps the thread (which occasionally bumps the wrong people), these threads will remain lost in the back rooms of the boards. My intention with the poll was to bring these forgotten posts out of the dark and back into the light of day.

DIS Reporter: But Kevin's trip reports were recent, thus negating your intentions and proving the poll was rigged!

LT Hambone: True, but Tombstone's trip report was also a recent report. Just like the other reports, it received a nomination, and was included. Just like the other reports. As I've said many times, the poll was not rigged in any way, shape, or form.

DIS Reporter: Then what about Zurg's complaint? Why weren't unfinished trip reports allowed to be included in the voting?

LT Hambone: Let me put it to you this way. Were any unfinished books ever nominated for a Pulitzer?

DIS Reporter: No.

LT Hambone: Were any unfinished movies ever nominated for an Oscar?

DIS Reporter: No.

LT Hambone: Were any unfinished songs ever nominated for a Grammy?

DIS Reporter: No.

LT Hambone: Were any unfinished TV show ever nominated for an Emmy?

DIS Reporter: Ok, ok – I get you point. But you're still avoiding the question – why didn't you include unfinished trip reports?

LT Hambone: Simple answer – that was in another thread. I had a thread going some time ago for best unfinished trip report, and it was that thread which prompted the best trip report thread. And that unfinished trip report thread generated just as much controversy for not including a certain Evil Emperor.

DIS Reporter: So what you're saying is that you are unable to run a fair poll? Two polls in a row, both generating controversy, and both having the winners contested?

LT Hambone: Hey look – I tried. If you want to fault my methodology or outcome, fine. But at least I tried.

DIS Reporter: So how are you going to ensure a fair poll in February?

LT Hambone: Hold on, I have not been asked to do a re-poll in February. I may have hinted at the prospect, but I have not officially stated I would run the poll in February.

DIS Reporter: So no poll?

LT Hambone: No, that's not it. Look, I would gladly run the poll in February, no problem what so ever. But, the parties involved need to ask me. Several of the competitors have issues with the way the last poll was ran, and they may not want to see me run the poll again. It's like asking a doctor for a second opinion.

DIS Reporter: So you're saying the poll is sick?

LT Hambone: Sigh…..

DIS Reporter: If asked to do the poll, would anything change?

LT Hambone: Tough call. I've thought about making the voting private so that I could control how many times an individual votes, but this could raise concerns about the legitimacy of the votes. I've also thought about asking one of the moderators to run the poll, but they're too busy with other DIS Board Duties. So right now, I would say the rules and voting would stay the same. I would do a week of nominations, then open up the voting, same as before.

DIS Reporter: Do you feel the poll was fair? Why?

LT Hambone: I believe the poll was very fair. I set out a list of rules, the rules were followed, and the people spoke. Also, I would like to point out that my own trip report was nominated many times over, but was not included in order to keep the poll un-biased.

DIS Reporter: Ok, I have to ask – who's your money on?

LT Hambone: Hands down – Joe Disney. He's got something up his sleeve, and it's probably going to put the rest to shame. Zurg is a real threat, but the wild card will probably be MScott1851. She's off to a strong start, and if she can keep this pace up, she'll be a real threat.

DIS Reporter: One more question – I did some digging and found that you left the Navy as a LCDR, but yet you still go by the name LT Hambone. Is this because of your commission in Emperor Zurg's Navy?

LT Hambone: Hey, how did you find out I was working for Zurg???? Oh, wait…. Mrs. Zurg! Darn, she must have forgotten her Alzheimer’s medication again! Gee, look at the time, I've got to get back to work.


So, will Joe Disney take the title? Or will one of the underdogs steal his thunder? Looks like we'll just have to wait until February!

 

[>>^..^<<]

For Joe <img src="http://www.casshew.com/1blowkises.gif">

Looking forward to more updates,

>>^..^<<

 

[corky805]

OMG!!! LOL.....I simply can't wait!!!! Joedisney will always be #1 with me.....poll or no poll!!

 

[scarlett873]

is it february yet???

i can't believe we have to wait that long...*sigh*



btw, joe, i voted for you!!!

 

[tmq2766]

At the sound of the bell, come out fighting......

 

[Credit Man]

You go JD!! Counting the days.

 

[debster812]

Can't wait! Can't wait!

I also voted for Joe, and in addition, my family (DH, DS 6YO, and I) will be in WDW in the same timeframe as joedisney et al. We are hoping to be able to catch a glimpse of the Octopus, MapBoy and the new

 

[Zurg]

Joe said:

I’m afraid Zurg is on drugs.

Be Afraid! Be very Afraid!

Speaking of drugs - this delswife seems to have issues. I suggest you have a look.

"Van Gogh, Nash, Monet, Hendrix (St. James as I call him) and Kurt Vonnegut" - Wow! Thank you!

LT Hambone; Looking forward to the February campaigns the Zurg Navy Promotions Board (all one of me) feels we may need to make some adjustments. Does the rank of Rear Admiral, RDML, grade O-7 hold interest?

But before we can pin the star on, we need to choose the music for the reception following the promotion cerimony. We are considering:
Schubert's Unfinished Symphony or one of Mozart 28 unfinished works. You think this will be OK LT or do you have a problem with Unfinished works? Oh yes sailor, and about that countdown clock....

 

[Zurg]

Oh and Joey? My Connor ain't afraid of no stinken thrill ride.

 

[MScott1851]

Muwahhaahaahaa... (Best attempt at evil laughter)

You all might have a couple of kids in your kennel for comic relief...but never underestimate the power of two tag-a-longs* on an anniversary trip with Captain Clueless!

Stay tuned...my computer is back online and so am I!





*not the chewy little Girl Scout cookies

 

[LT Hambone]

Originally posted by Zurg
Speaking of drugs - this delswife seems to have issues. I suggest you have a look.

Hey Joe & Zurg – you guys have some SERIOUS competition! This lady is a hoot, I'm still laughing at her first five reports, and she's only on day two of nine! She is finally going to put to rest the debate that female authors aren't good enough to match wits with the boys.

No offense Mscott1851, but boy, she is going to be hard to beat.

Originally posted by Zurg
Oh yes sailor, and about that countdown clock....

Hey, I'm proud of that clock! Where's yours?

 

[corky805]

LT.......I have to agree...she is gonna give him a run for his $$...if she finishes

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

After reading your post last night I found Lt Hambones, links to your competition: Zurg's Halloween, The Legend, Aerobics, Tombstone, Kevin Stringer BobNC I read every trip report today, although I loved each storyline and truly think they are great.


But OCTOPUS aka "THE BABE", MAPBOY, CONNOR and NEW stole my heart.


"COMPETITION YOU AINT GOT NO STINKEN COMPETITION"

(except maybe delswife) since it took all day to read past trip reports I haven't read but two of her reports and I also have to say I was laughing so hard I had tears and she hadn't even gotten on the plane yet.


Can't wait for Februrary